noodle

...and before they scatter me in the wind, I want to be cremated with a peanut butter, honey and banana sandwich on a whole wheat pita.
'Cause they're so much better toasted.

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Psycho Dad

I want to be cremated, put in a douche bag and have the wife run me through one more time.

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Don't always trust the opinions of experts.

theguyondacouch

I don't want to be buried ina marked grave, or even in a graveyard. I would love to just be buried in an expansive field somewhere. Somewhere if people wanted to visit my grave, they would have to take a nice walk to get there.

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"Lick my frozen metal ass!"

Sweetpea

certainly i want to be cremated... i just hate the thought of being stuck in the ground... other than that... i don't care I'll be dead

Sweetpea

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Having a Pet Will Change Your Life!
Looking for a great pet?! Click Here!
"I am the Type of Person Who Can Get Away With A lot, Simply Because I Don't Ask Permission for the Privilege of Being Myself"

thejoker130

I would like to be put in a brown paper bag, lit on fire, and put on my old intro to ed professor's doorstep.

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WHAT MORE CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR IF NOT FOR THE CARE OF THE REAPER MAN?
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I like you. When the world is mine your death will be quick and painless.

Fremen

On the serious side:
I would like to be cremated and mixed into the concrete for a new building.

On the Nonsense side:
I would like to be taken into orbit, shot out, and burnt up on re-entry in the atmosphere.

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Google

uncle phil

I Hope You Die
Bloodhound Gang

...You must die I alone am best!
I hope ya flip some guy the bird,
He cuts you off and you're forced to swerve,
In front of the Beatles' tour bus,
A Bookmobile and a Mack truck,
Hauling hazardous biological waste,
The light turns red you have no brakes,
And "Hard Copy" gets it all on tape,
So you can see the look on your face,
...Die Die Die Die Die Die Die!,
...Die Die Die Die Die Die Die!,
I hope your Pinto begins to spin,
Takes out a disabled Vietnam Veteran,
Mows down a Nobel Peace Prize Winner,
And maybe some orphans having Christmas dinner,
Perhaps even the British Royal Family,
And the Rabbi that's clutching the bottle-fed puppy,
And we can't forget the newlyweds,
And those Jerry's Kids are as good as dead,
I hope this helps to emphasize,
I hope this helps to clarify,
I hope you die,
I hope your cellmate thinks he's God,
But C.N.N. refer to him as "Bowling Ball Bag Bob",
Serving time again for abuse of a corpse,
Only this time the victim's a Clydesdale horse,
While he masturbates to photos of livestock,
He does the "Silence of the Lambs" dance to Christian Rock,
Eats feces and quotes from "Deliverance",
And fights with his imaginary playmate Vince,
...Die Die Die Die Die Die Die!,
...Die Die Die Die Die Die Die!,
I hope he grins like Jack Nicholson,
And forces you to play a game called Balls On Chin,
And whatever happens next is all a blur,
But you remember "fist" can be a verb,
And when you finally regain consciousness,
You're bound and gagged in a wedding dress,
And the prison guard looks the other way,
'Cause he's the guy ya flipped the bird the other day,
I hope this helps to emphasize,
I hope this helps to clarify,
I hope you die,
...I hope you die!.

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Fly

let the maggots eat my cold dead body,for they are kin.........

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BASTARD

SterlingStudios

noodle

One of my kids who died last week told me a few weeks ago that he and his friends had made a pact that when he died, he wanted to be cremated and to be rolled in a joint and smoked. So he could live on. Unfortunately, his mom sorta freaked out and won't let any even look at his ashes sideways. Another, who died two years ago, was buried in a pine box. She went to an art school and at the service, they had Sharpies, paints and brushes and her friends muraled the entire casket.

Not sure how this got serious. The sandwich that spawned this thread last night was orgasmic

__________________

Ganggreen

Kid: "Shouldn't we give them boys a proper Christian burial Josie?

Josie Wales(Clint Eastwood): "Ta hell with them boys. Buzzards gotta eat; same as worms."

Ganggreen

Oh, i left out the part where he spits on the body's forehead...always loved that

maskedrider

I wanna be buried in a mausoleum where my family can be buried. hehe

Poppinjay

I want to be dropped on somebody... If it were today, I'd say that guy who killed the 17 year old VCU girl... or maybe Rush Limbaugh.

If I reach 85, I'm hijacking a plane and taking it down so my obit will be on the front page.

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I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

bernadette

cremate my useless body & mix in with mine the cremains of my previously dearly departed furry children (they're all in tidy little cedar boxes, top dresser drawer, fyi); then throw us all into the pacific. the cats won't worry about being afraid of water, cuz they're already dead y'know. i'm actually quite serious. weird huh? in a nonsense thread & all that...

my WEIRD level just probably went up a few notches in y'all's eyes... oh well! hi!

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zaiaz

When I die I want to be reincarnated as a real pig. ( i Love 30 min orgasms)

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Self destruction - "Its my Nature", said the Scorpion...

Redlemon

When I die, take my remains to one of those walk-through haunted houses. Eavesdrop on the people in line, and find that one cocky kid who claims he never gets scared. Open my stomach cavity so that my guts are hanging out, then drop me on him. Videotape him trying to untangle himself, and post it on the web.

Yeah, that should work.

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.

Poppinjay

Redlemon, I will SO be there to do that.

(scared a girl into pissing herself when she walked through our Haunted Mine, when she kept repeating, "y'all think you're scaring people but you aren't")

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I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

BigBen

When I die, put my ashes into a shotgun shell with number 8 birdshot, and give the shotgun to my worst enemy. Force the enemy to go bear hunting with it.

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3.141592654
Hey, if you are impressed with my memorizing pi to 10 digits, you should see the size of my penis.

vermin

I just hope my skeleton ends up in some med school classroom so the "clever" students can use it as a humorous prop.

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If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

JumpinJesus

When I die, I want to come back as a ghost and spook people. Especially that guy that called me a rubberneck when I was only 8 years old and was walking home from the store with my coca cola and baseball cards because he was being loud and I looked at him. I want to spook that guy bad.

If he's even still alive, that is.

I also want to spook random frat boys and hillbillies.

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"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses

Ch'i

Good stuff...

I can't think of any that could top that.

warrrreagl

I'm not dying. Just because everyone else has always died doesn't necessarily mean it's certain.

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Living is easy with eyes closed.

Crack

me too! I am gonna live for-ev-er. It's worked out well so far...

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Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex.

~Halx

Daniel_

I want to be burried at sea.

But that's only because my first wife said she'd dance on my grave.

__________________

╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

uncle phil

And When I Die
Blood, Sweat, and Tears


I'm not scared of dying,
And I don't really care.
If it's peace you find in dying,
Well then let the time be near.
If it's peace you find in dying,
And if dying time is here,
Just bundle up my coffin
'Cause it's cold way down there.
I hear that its cold way down their.
Yeah, crazy cold way down their.

[Chorus:]
And when I die, and when I'm gone,
There'll be one child born
In this world to carry on,
to carry on.

Now troubles are many, they're as deep as a well.
I can swear there ain't no heaven but I pray there ain't no hell.
Swear there ain't no heaven and I pray there ain't no hell,
But I'll never know by living, only my dying will tell.
Yes only my dying will tell.
Yeah, only my dying will tell.

[Chorus]

Give me my freedom for as long as I be.
All I ask of living is to have no chains on me.
All I ask of living is to have no chains on me,
And all I ask of dying is to go naturally.
Oh I want to go naturally.

Here I go,
Hey Hey!
Here comes the devil,
Right Behind.
Look out children,
Here he comes!
Here he comes! Hey...

Don't want to go by the devil.
Don't want to go by demon.
Don't want to go by Satan,
Don't want to die uneasy.
Just let me go naturally.

and when I die,
When I'm dead, dead and gone,
There'll be one child born in our world to carry on,
To carry on.

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Reese

I want to be cooked and fed to hungry cannibal children. Actually, I don't care if they're cannibals..

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“It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick” - Dave Barry

mixedsubstance

LMAO

Great1.

I will be cremated and scattered into the ocean- I know it sounds cheesy but I've always had a strong connection with it.

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Well, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?!?

*Without energy, there would be nothing.*

Zeraph

Burried naked (or in biodegradable clothing) with no chemicals and have a tree planted over me.