|
10-06-2005, 11:47 AM
|
#1 (permalink) |
|
Sky Piercer
Location: Ireland
|
Advice
Don't stick your hand in the blender.
Don't use the hairdryer while you're in the bath. Unplug the electric saw before you try to fix it. Don't point the crossbow at your friends. Don't trim your toenails with a carving knife. Don't climb inside old freezers in the junkyard. Don't put your nephew in the microwave. Don't summon demons with the ouija board. Don't try to make new holes in your belt while you're still wearing it. Don't try to swim to the island. Don't throw darts at people. There is no such thing as a metal frisbee. Don't climb on the roof. Don't throw stones at me to try to attract my attention. Don't shut your eyes while you are driving. There is no such thing as a metal frisbee. Don't drink the grey wine. Don't swallow pills that you find on the street. Don't stab people with old syringes. Don't make your own fireworks. Don't drop slabs from the motorway bridge. Don't take the batteries out of the smoke alarm. Don't throw grit at the driver. Don't make your own flamethrower. Stay out of the chemistry lab when the supervisor is absent. Don't throw ammunition on the campfire. Don't play games with poisonous snakes. Don't eat glass. Don't smoke in the refuelling bay. Be careful with the nail gun and air rifle and the circular saw. Don't glue razor blades onto things. Don't pick fights with known psychopaths. Don't touch the hotplate. Don't hang glide over the volcano. Don't lean out of the window when the bullet train is in motion. Don't put old car batteries in the furnace. Don't play chicken. Don't fly a kite beneath the electricity pylon. Don't be dared to do dangerous things by people with missing limbs. Don't make roadblocks on the bobsleigh run. Don't pretend to be a doctor. Don't tamper with the braking system. Don't shout at old people. Don't liberate zoo animals. Don't use the lawnmower to trim the hedge. Don't give bayonets to children. Don't hide the fire extinguisher. Don't run in the hospital. Don't stick metal coat hangers in the toaster while it is still switched on. Don't buy bomb-making equipment. Don't slash my tires whiles I'm driving. Don't play war in the electricity substation. Don't stage mock executions. Stay away from the ski jump and the cable car and the vernicular railway. Don't volunteer for the drug testing. Don't go in a hot air balloon. Don't press red buttons. Obey the stop signs and the no-entry signs and the speed limit. Don't jump over the barriers. There is no such thing as a metal frisbee. Don't try to perform surgery on yourself. Don't stick kebab skewers up your nose. Don't join the army. Keep your hands off the gas tap and the welding equipment and the railways signals. Don't break into people’s houses and climb up their chimneys. Don't park in the fast lane. Don't steal police cars. Don't pretend to be an acupuncturist or a pilot or a back specialist. Don't try to grow biological weapons. Wash your hands afar using pesticides. And above all don't eat scorpions.
__________________
|
|
|
10-06-2005, 03:40 PM
|
#4 (permalink) |
|
comfortably numb...
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
|
Jim Croce
You Don't Mess Around With Jim Uptown got it's hustlers The Bowery got it's bums And forty-second street got big Jim Walker He a pool shootin' son of a gun Yeah, he big and dumb as a man can come But he stronger than a country hoss And when the bad folks all get together at night You know they all call big Jim 'boss'...just because And they say 'You don't tug on Superman's cape You don't spit into the wind You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger And you don't mess around with Jim' Well outta south Alabama come a country boy He said, 'I'm lookin' for a man named Jim I am a pool shootin' boy My name is Willie McCoy But down home they call me Slim Yeah I'm looking for the king of Forty Second Street He drivin' a drop top Cadillac Last week he took all my money And it may sound funny But I come to get my money back' Chorus: And ev'rybody say 'Jack, don't you know that You don't on Superman's cape You don't spit into the wind You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger And you don't mess around with Jim' Well a hush fell over the pool room Jimmy come boppin' in off the street And when the cuttin' were done The only part that wasn't bloody Was the soles of the big man's feet Yeah he were cut in 'bout a hundred places And he were shot in a couple more And you better believe They sung a different kind of story When big Jim hit the floor Chorus Now they say You don't tug on Superman's cape You don't spit into the wind You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger And you don't mess around with Slim' Yeah, big Jim got his hat Find out where it's at And not hustling people strange to you Even if you do got a two piece custom made pool cue, yeah Chorus You don't tug on Superman's cape You don't spit into the wind You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger And you don't mess around with Slim
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it. |
|
|
| Tags |
| advice |
|
|
Both Right."
