Giant Hamburger's deepest, darkest secret (and no it isn't his sauce) - Page 8 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Giant Hamburger · 03-24-2007, 06:45 PM

Yet trust me you must!
I am your only hope

against the bunnies.
They are coming!

Fly · 03-24-2007, 07:08 PM

ahahhahha........

i got pics of our rabbitt doin' the lab...........vids too.

fuckin' hilarious.

Charlatan · 03-24-2007, 11:20 PM

GH is trying to feed the world. Here we see his efforts to use his offspring to feed the starving in Africa (Bono made the call and GH was there with the support).

Little does Bono know, this is all part of the master plan...

uncle phil · 03-28-2007, 03:58 PM

http://www.stereogum.com/archives/003401.html

Giant Hamburger · 03-28-2007, 05:34 PM

Nice one Phil.

Let’s pretend we don’t exist,
Let’s pretend we’re in Antartica.

Ourcrazymodern? · 03-29-2007, 10:55 AM

Pretending, pretending....

Damn, it's not working. Sorry, sir!

Giant Hamburger · 03-29-2007, 06:03 PM

I’ll play the Satyr in Cypris,

you, the bride being stripped bare.

uncle phil · 03-30-2007, 05:30 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glbSyELSI7s

Charlatan · 03-31-2007, 05:45 AM

Giant Hamburger wants to do more than teach the world to sing...

Jetée · 04-04-2007, 09:44 AM

Singing burgers, that is the wave of the future
that we must surf in order to properly register
our whims among the weak and feeble,
especially the feeble.
Like dogs, of the hot variety.

Check it:

Giant Hamburger · 04-06-2007, 10:48 AM

May chocolate-dipped coney-shaped Golgothian monotremes bless your blood-soaked holiday
with foiled prizes from their candy-coated cloacae!

uncle phil · 04-06-2007, 11:28 AM

nothin' like havin' it your way...

Ourcrazymodern? · 04-06-2007, 11:44 AM

I just had another fucking epiphany, damnit.

Charlatan · 04-08-2007, 07:01 AM

I stopped off for a burger after seeing a movie this evening... When I bit into it it squirted and impressive amount of blood all over the window next to my head.

Giant Hamburger · 04-08-2007, 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charlatan

When I bit into it it squirted and impressive amount of blood all over the window next to my head.

It happens to a lot of young hamburgers.

My 1st girlfriend's room...

uncle phil · 04-09-2007, 12:08 PM

lemme guess...her name was "carrie..."

Giant Hamburger · 04-09-2007, 12:49 PM

She would have been more exiting at the prom

than the date that I took.

Enough about my past.
My latest secret involves my toes!

They are done.

Astrocloud · 04-09-2007, 01:01 PM

Bah! toes are gristle.

Ourcrazymodern? · 04-10-2007, 10:14 PM

And bone.

Jetée · 04-16-2007, 06:48 PM

May our toes keep tapping to the rhythm.

uncle phil · 04-17-2007, 12:24 PM

y'all are goin' ta HAIL!!!

Charlatan · 04-19-2007, 06:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Giant Hamburger

Enough about my past.
My latest secret involves my toes!

They are done.

It comes from living in a house of estrogen...

How the mighty have fallen.

Giant Hamburger · 04-19-2007, 11:32 AM

My manhood is now in a jar outside

I visit it from time to time

Ourcrazymodern? · 04-19-2007, 01:44 PM

Sir! Is that a shoe in there?

Charlatan · 05-01-2007, 02:51 AM

I sense a new power...

GIANT SUSHI!

The question is: Is Giant Sushi a friend or foe? Will Giant Sushi seek to fell the un-manned Giant Hamburger?

There can be only one!

Giant Hamburger · 05-01-2007, 06:50 AM

Giant Sushi and I used to hook up when my adventures found me in the mysterious orient.
Sweet kid.

Ourcrazymodern? · 05-02-2007, 03:07 PM

Occidentally my IO ate some bad sushi a few weeks ago. It wasn't a pretty experience.

Charlatan · 05-05-2007, 05:40 PM

The emasculation is complete...

How the mighty have fallen.

bundy · 05-06-2007, 04:26 AM

AH!!! Giant Sushi!!

Giant Sushi was very popular for a while here in Tokyo... he even knocked SMAP off the number one boy band spot with his cover release of American Pie...

but then everyone realised that he was a pawn for the lesser deity, Colonel Sanders...

the colonel has many guises and can never be trusted... especially after his role in the foiled assasination attempt of the last Tokugawa Shogunate...

after the people found out about the Colonels involvement with and overall control of the Giant Sushi... they rebelled... but the Colonel then released his miniature, slightly pudgy version of Godzilla and Mothra...

... and all spirit was lost...
its a little known fact, but this incident was a major factor in the bursting of the japanese bubble economy just a few decades ago.

i wonder where the Giant Sushi is hiding now... ???

Giant Hamburger · 05-10-2007, 08:31 AM

Lately I have been highly sprung and I fear this thread has been bad for my swerves.

Ourcrazymodern? · 05-11-2007, 06:07 PM

Your swerving maintains an even keel.

Springs bounce. Or slink. Or flow...

Charlatan · 05-13-2007, 04:05 AM

Some people like HP sauce on their burgers... Giant Hamburger prefers a little HP Lovecraft on his...

Fly · 05-13-2007, 06:04 AM

i always thought GH 'was' HP Lovecraft?

Ourcrazymodern? · 05-13-2007, 08:20 AM

I feel secure in his shadow.

Charlatan · 05-19-2007, 03:06 AM

My spies have managed to find out what GH has being doing in his backyard... His manhood removed and organic procreation now beyond him, the monster has adapted... be afraid.

Charlatan · 07-12-2007, 03:45 AM

His madness knows no bounds (now with extra evil flow charts!!!).

GH's marketing team has been working overtime... I fear that after this missive they were all tossed into his backyard machine for incompetence (Burgers are *never* just an alternative in the world of GH).

Redlemon · 07-12-2007, 06:40 AM

GH is now unstoppable. His power exceeds all rational thought. He can use a videogame controller as a phone.

Giant Hamburger · 09-06-2007, 03:13 PM

Lady Sage · 09-06-2007, 03:28 PM

Im going blind on that... it hurts.

Ourcrazymodern? · 09-08-2007, 07:01 PM

I laughed more than I should have until my IO refused to even look at it.

Go figure.

03-24-2007, 07:08 PM	#282 (permalink)
Fly see the links to my music? Location: Beautiful British Columbia	ahahhahha........ i got pics of our rabbitt doin' the lab...........vids too. fuckin' hilarious. __________________ BASTARD SterlingStudios

03-24-2007, 11:20 PM	#283 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	GH is trying to feed the world. Here we see his efforts to use his offspring to feed the starving in Africa (Bono made the call and GH was there with the support). Little does Bono know, this is all part of the master plan... __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

03-28-2007, 03:58 PM	#284 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	http://www.stereogum.com/archives/003401.html __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

03-29-2007, 10:55 AM	#286 (permalink)
Ourcrazymodern? still, wondering. Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge	Pretending, pretending.... Damn, it's not working. Sorry, sir! __________________ BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

03-30-2007, 05:30 PM	#288 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glbSyELSI7s __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

03-24-2007, 06:45 PM	#281 (permalink)
Giant Hamburger Gastrolithuanian Location: low-velocity Earth orbit	Yet trust me you must! I am your only hope against the bunnies. They are coming!

03-28-2007, 05:34 PM	#285 (permalink)
Giant Hamburger Gastrolithuanian Location: low-velocity Earth orbit	Nice one Phil. Let’s pretend we don’t exist, Let’s pretend we’re in Antartica.

03-29-2007, 06:03 PM	#287 (permalink)
Giant Hamburger Gastrolithuanian Location: low-velocity Earth orbit	I’ll play the Satyr in Cypris, you, the bride being stripped bare.

03-31-2007, 05:45 AM	#289 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	Giant Hamburger wants to do more than teach the world to sing... __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

04-04-2007, 09:44 AM	#290 (permalink)
Jetée The Reforms Location: Rarely, if ever, here or there, but always in transition	Big-Mac Attack (seriously, reconsider this as part of your profile, GH) Singing burgers, that is the wave of the future that we must surf in order to properly register our whims among the weak and feeble, especially the feeble. Like dogs, of the hot variety. Check it: __________________ As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves. —Mohandas K. Gandhi Last edited by Jetée; 07-17-2009 at 08:26 AM.. Reason: had to fix the broken beef rap

04-06-2007, 10:48 AM	#291 (permalink)
Giant Hamburger Gastrolithuanian Location: low-velocity Earth orbit	Good Friday! May chocolate-dipped coney-shaped Golgothian monotremes bless your blood-soaked holiday with foiled prizes from their candy-coated cloacae!

04-06-2007, 11:28 AM	#292 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	nothin' like havin' it your way... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

04-06-2007, 11:44 AM	#293 (permalink)
Ourcrazymodern? still, wondering. Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge	I just had another fucking epiphany, damnit. __________________ BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

04-08-2007, 07:01 AM	#294 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	I stopped off for a burger after seeing a movie this evening... When I bit into it it squirted and impressive amount of blood all over the window next to my head. __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

04-09-2007, 12:08 PM	#296 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	lemme guess...her name was "carrie..." __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

04-09-2007, 12:49 PM	#297 (permalink)
Giant Hamburger Gastrolithuanian Location: low-velocity Earth orbit	She would have been more exiting at the prom than the date that I took. Enough about my past. My latest secret involves my toes! They are done.

04-09-2007, 01:01 PM	#298 (permalink)
Astrocloud Apocalypse Nerd	Bah! toes are gristle.

04-10-2007, 10:14 PM	#299 (permalink)
Ourcrazymodern? still, wondering. Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge	And bone. __________________ BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

04-16-2007, 06:48 PM	#300 (permalink)
Jetée The Reforms Location: Rarely, if ever, here or there, but always in transition	May our toes keep tapping to the rhythm. __________________ As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves. —Mohandas K. Gandhi

04-17-2007, 12:24 PM	#301 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	y'all are goin' ta HAIL!!! __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

04-19-2007, 11:32 AM	#303 (permalink)
Giant Hamburger Gastrolithuanian Location: low-velocity Earth orbit	My manhood is now in a jar outside I visit it from time to time

04-19-2007, 01:44 PM	#304 (permalink)
Ourcrazymodern? still, wondering. Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge	Sir! Is that a shoe in there? __________________ BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

05-01-2007, 02:51 AM	#305 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	I sense a new power... GIANT SUSHI! The question is: Is Giant Sushi a friend or foe? Will Giant Sushi seek to fell the un-manned Giant Hamburger? There can be only one! __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

05-01-2007, 06:50 AM	#306 (permalink)
Giant Hamburger Gastrolithuanian Location: low-velocity Earth orbit	Giant Sushi and I used to hook up when my adventures found me in the mysterious orient. Sweet kid.

05-02-2007, 03:07 PM	#307 (permalink)
Ourcrazymodern? still, wondering. Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge	Occidentally my IO ate some bad sushi a few weeks ago. It wasn't a pretty experience. __________________ BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

05-05-2007, 05:40 PM	#308 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	The emasculation is complete... How the mighty have fallen. __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke Last edited by Charlatan; 07-20-2007 at 12:26 AM..

05-06-2007, 04:26 AM	#309 (permalink)
bundy . Location: Tokyo	AH!!! Giant Sushi!! Giant Sushi was very popular for a while here in Tokyo... he even knocked SMAP off the number one boy band spot with his cover release of American Pie... but then everyone realised that he was a pawn for the lesser deity, Colonel Sanders... the colonel has many guises and can never be trusted... especially after his role in the foiled assasination attempt of the last Tokugawa Shogunate... after the people found out about the Colonels involvement with and overall control of the Giant Sushi... they rebelled... but the Colonel then released his miniature, slightly pudgy version of Godzilla and Mothra... ... and all spirit was lost... its a little known fact, but this incident was a major factor in the bursting of the japanese bubble economy just a few decades ago. i wonder where the Giant Sushi is hiding now... ??? __________________ Ohayo!!!

05-10-2007, 08:31 AM	#310 (permalink)
Giant Hamburger Gastrolithuanian Location: low-velocity Earth orbit	Lately I have been highly sprung and I fear this thread has been bad for my swerves.

05-11-2007, 06:07 PM	#311 (permalink)
Ourcrazymodern? still, wondering. Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge	Your swerving maintains an even keel. Springs bounce. Or slink. Or flow... __________________ BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

05-13-2007, 04:05 AM	#312 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	Some people like HP sauce on their burgers... Giant Hamburger prefers a little HP Lovecraft on his... __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

05-13-2007, 06:04 AM	#313 (permalink)
Fly see the links to my music? Location: Beautiful British Columbia	i always thought GH 'was' HP Lovecraft? __________________ BASTARD SterlingStudios

05-13-2007, 08:20 AM	#314 (permalink)
Ourcrazymodern? still, wondering. Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge	I feel secure in his shadow. __________________ BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

05-19-2007, 03:06 AM	#315 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	My spies have managed to find out what GH has being doing in his backyard... His manhood removed and organic procreation now beyond him, the monster has adapted... be afraid. __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

07-12-2007, 03:45 AM	#316 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	His madness knows no bounds (now with extra evil flow charts!!!). GH's marketing team has been working overtime... I fear that after this missive they were all tossed into his backyard machine for incompetence (Burgers are never just an alternative in the world of GH). __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

07-12-2007, 06:40 AM	#317 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	GH is now unstoppable. His power exceeds all rational thought. He can use a videogame controller as a phone. __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.