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Silly definitions of Love

This is my nonsensical response a thread in Coming Together: MEN: your thoughts on love

These are definitions for "love" found on the Urban Dictionary that I thought were amusing.

Quote:

A terrible, horrible infectious disease of the mind, that is falsely portrayed as wonderful by most ignorant individuals. It weakens one, allowing them to be easily manipulated, and eventually leads to nothing but pain and suffering.
When I fell in love with her, I was happy for the first time in my life... Until she tore my still-beating, bloody, dripping heart from my chest cavity, threw it to the ground with all of her might, and then stomped it into a fine paste. Now I am worse off than before. Avoid love like the plague that it is, children.

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A dark ocean through which there are no shores or lighthouses, and infinite shipwrecks.

"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." - Nietzsche

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Planetary rotation fuel.
Love makes the world go 'round.

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overrated. Biochemically no different than eating large quanities or chocolate. ( Devil's Advocate )
Love is dead.

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word used by retards.
Retard: lol!! chad'z hot i love him!!1
Normal: Fuck you, retard. You don't even know him.

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The quintessential human delusion/disease.

Caused by chemical imbalances of seratonin and other mood regulators, it serves as nature's way to ensure reproduction.

It has been scientifically proven that "being in love" does lower your problem solving skills and overall intelligence.

People who drift from person to person, thinking they're always in love(98% of the population) are merely trying to find meaning in their worthless existence.
People who are obsessed with love all need to find meaning in their lives.

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A disease that eventually results in suicide or children. Children can also result in suicide. Love can be treated with alcohol which is a wonderful substance that numbs you to any emotions what-so-ever. Also see bullshit or stupidity.
I loved my wife. She cheated on me. We have two children. Im going to commit suicide.

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A propaganda used by Hallmark and other big companies used to make you buy their otherwise useless Junk. (For example Valentines day, Anniversaries, Weddings are used to trick you to buy their junk.)
If there was no "love" would people buy Valentine cards? Probably not. Would people Chocolates in heart shaped boxes? Not likely. Would people buy a piece of brown cloth that's stuffed with fake eyes and nose. Hell no. Love is a big propaganda. Love is different than attraction. Attraction isn't a propaganda. You don't "buy" things out of attraction. (Unless you're a fool.)

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An irrational State of mind created by people who are over dependent on others.

A fancy word for infatuation used by the simple minded.
Ignorant little girl: Oh I'm so in love.
Smart person: Yeah, you and everyone else, taht explains the divorce rate in this country :-\ idiot.

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The state of mutual exploitation. Arises when one finds a member of the opposite (or occasionally same) sex to have:
1) money
2) connections
3) social status
4) the capacities to satisfy the first person's physical desire, and
5) the ability to sexually gratify
It's rich, famous, can fuck, and her parents can give me that car I want. I'm gonna marry her as soon as I can pay for dowry.

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From gaylic word 'leloft' - meaning to masturbate on stage while reading a novel.

Modernized to 'love', shifted definition to masturbate with a loved on in the 'stage' of life, where the novel would be a story of love between the two lovers.
I loved myself yesternight. "I masturbated last night."

I loved myself to death. "I orgasmed to a pleasurable death."

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Something imaginary, much like the North American "Big Foot". People claim that it exists, but these people are either unexperienced, or a writer. A person has a greater chance of getting struck by lightning while winning the lottery, than finding true love.
Bob: "Hey Dan. I met this girl yesterday, we talked, we held hands, she's perfect...I think I'm in love. I got a date with her this weekend! Why don't you find someone?"
Dan: "Screw that! I'm gonna go hunting!" (Dan puts on a Wookie suit and turns to leave, but is hit with a lightning bolt)
Bob: "You okay man?!?"
Dan: "Lucky...sevens!"

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a chain reaction, the chemical precursors that signal the onset of emotion, designed specifically to overwhelm logic, and reason. An emotion that blinds you from the simple, and obvious truth.
The Architect - It is interesting reading your reactions. Your five predecessors were by design based on a similar predication, a contingent affirmation that was meant to create a profound attachment to the rest of your species, facilitating the function of the one. While the others experienced this in a very general way, your experience is far more specific. Vis-a-vis, love.

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Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English lufu; akin to Old High German luba love, Old English lEof dear, Latin lubEre, libEre to please

Rare disease, transmitted through sexual intercourse, that results in severe physiological and mental disorders if left untreated. Symptoms characteristic of the early stages of the disease include increased heart rate, sweaty palms, and incoherence. Left unchecked, the negative effects can become dibilitating, resulting in lethargicness, depression, and increased diminishment of mental capabilities. While these later stage symptoms can be reduced through an exchange of fluid between effected individuals, there is currently no known cure.
Love stinks, yeah, yeah.

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Men use love to get sex.

Women use sex to get love.
Stimulus:
-Man: "I love you, baby."
Response:
-Woman takes clothes off

Stimulus:
-Woman takes clothes off
Response:
-Man: "I love you, baby."

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A word which has lost its meaning over the years, and ultimately means that you think someone is moderately attractive but you probably won't be with them for very long.
TODAY: I love you baby!!!

Tomorrow: Who are you again???

Just remember kids, not everyone is meant to lve happily ever after.

Love, n. A form of temporary insanity, curable by marriage.

Marriage, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.

-Abrose Bierce, the Devil's Dictionary

From the movie Love Story

Love means never having to say you are sorry...

Yah, what a load of crap that is

Love is... is a comic strip
http://www.comicspage.com/loveis/loveis.html
http://www.tmsfeatures.com/tmsfeatur...jpg&code=cplis

I like John Lennon's definition.

Love is real, real is love
Love is feeling, feeling love
Love is wanting to be loved

Love is touch, touch is love
Love is reaching, reaching love
Love is asking to be loved

Love is you
You and me
Love is knowing
We can be

Love is free, free is love
Love is living, living love
Love is needing to be loved

I like my definition:

Love is Turmoil, Toil and Pain
Love is Drought in search of Rain
Love is Leaving peace behind
Love is Something Few will Find
Love is Never where you Seek
Love is Poison for the Weak
Love is Oft considered fun
If love finds you.........Fucking Run

http://www.cfhf.net/lyrics/images/loveboat-logo1.jpg
Love, exciting and new
Come Aboard. We're expecting you.
Love, life's sweetest reward.
Let it flow, it floats back to you.

Love Boat soon will be making another run
The Love Boat promises something for everyone
Set a course for adventure,
Your mind on a new romance.

Love won't hurt anymore
It's an open smile on a friendly shore.
Yes LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE! It's LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE! (hey-ah!)

Love Boat soon will be making another run
The Love Boat promises something for everyone
Set a course for adventure,
Your mind on a new romance.

Love won't hurt anymore
It's an open smile on a friendly shore.
It's LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE! It's LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE! It's LOOOOOOOOOOOVE!
It's the Love Boat-ah! It's the Love Boat-ah!

<embed src=" http://tv.cream.org/specialassignments/themes/loveboat.mp3" autostart="TRUE" loop="TRUE" hide=”TRUE>

Fuck. I opened up this thread and I thought I was losing my mind. I was wondering who in the office has their cell phone ring set to The Love Boat theme.

Damn... I had my volume turned down low and walked around the house for about two minutes trying to figure out where the hell that theme came from all of a sudden.

Love is life.

I think Stiltzkin is our cruise director.

Love is the illusion that one woman differs from another. (I don't remember who said it, but I know they were smarter than me.)

As for the Love Boat:

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He walks over to the window And without a hesitation he goes out
I walk over to the window And I see him hit the sidewalk like a trout
With a moment's indecision I can almost see him moving
Then I see the splattered pavement And I feel it's almost soothing
'Cause I know he didn't suffer Any more than was the norm
He lived life the way he found it And he left it true to form

He was standing by the TV When I saw his eyes roll upward in his head
I came over to the TV Just to find out what the anchorman had said
With a little human interest And some filler for the waiting
They were speaking of replacements And a failure in the ratings
And my friend looked pale then paler As his body lost his breath
And I listened and discovered What would send him to his death

Oh Gopher, Gopher's being fired. Contracts have expired.
Love has been retired, Buried out at sea

Every afternoon in college He'd sit down and pour himself another brew
Just as soon forsake his knowledge For an hour's entertainment with the crew
With a tub of buttered popcorn And a can or two of soda
He'd get sucked into the program Like he had to make some quota
'Cause he knows what's gonna happen 'Cause he's seen them all before
And the endless double takes Just make him want it even more

Oh Isaac, Isaac's over tired. Julie's been unhired.
Love is uninspired, Sinking in the bay.
The Love Boat, Love Boat's dropped it's anchor
Bought out by some banker Hired out as a tanker
Drifting far away

Oh Aaron Spelling you're a genius. No one could have seen this
Running all these years (Won't you tell us)
Aaron, where'd you get the notion, Love upon the ocean
Blazing new frontiers

When he heard the sad decision There was sorrow and confusion in the home
He turned off the television And he came to his conclusion on his own
With a sigh of desperation He gave in to his depression
He went out to greet the concrete Where he made his last impression
And the papers want a statement 'Cause the public wants to know
Was it just the cancellation Of a favorite TV show

The Love Boat, Love Boat's slowly sinking
Vicki's started thinking, Merrill has been drinking
One more for the road.
The Love Boat, Love Boat has been grounded
Doc is still dumbfounded. All aboard's been sounded
No where left to go

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tophat665

Love is the illusion that one woman differs from another.

H. L. Mencken

Collecting quotes is a passion of mine. :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stiltzkin

H. L. Mencken

You know, if I had thought about it, It had to be him or Wilder.

Thanks for setting me straight!