Lets play with figures of speech
 

some examples:

I have never bitten any dust, much less THE dust.

I don't toe the line. I'm not into foot fetishism.

Last week a guy at work had a heart attack. Does he now have a broken heart?

I don't have any rods to spare, and I'm too poor to spoil my child.

Just WHAT exactly have you had up to there?

I don't like to choke my chicken. I let other people do it for me.

So, if a parsley farmer loses a lawsuit, can they garnish his wages?

If the walls have ears, how come the wallpaper doesn't have bumps in it. Alternately, would you have to go 'round with a q-tip while you paint to keep them from going deaf?

Exactly which picture is worth 1000 words? If it is a Mappelthorpe, are they dirty words? Or is it that any picture is worth 1000 words? If that's the case, can I bring an OED to the Louvre and take 600 that strike my fancy?

I broke up with my girlfriend. My buddy told me that there were other fish in the sea. That's nice... If you like fish. I was hoping to get laid, though. Maybe he meant I should try to catch a blowfish.

I've determined that you would have to eat 3 apples every second to keep all the doctors in the world away.

It really should be look and think about what you just saw before you leap.

A bird in my hand would NOT be worth two in the bush-that'd hurt like hell.
That might be the way the cookie crumbles, but don't look at me to clean it up
A penny for my thoughts is about all they're worth

I've never opened a can of worms. They make me oogly. And what kind of person puts a bunch of worms in a can anyway?

I got laid off from my job at Sunkist. I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.

Too many cooks spoil the broth...bs the more cooks there are the more food they can cook me up.
She's as pretty as a picture...so what if the picture is of dog shit?

Time's fun when you're having flies.

She's not fat, shes big boned. Ever see a fat skeleton?

To poach from the great Groucho:

I just got pork slapped... damn that was one angry pig!

Kind of obscure, but in engineering circles, there is an old saying that sums up the second law of thermodynamics: You can't push a rope. I am surprised that this has any currency with engineers, who are normally bright, innovative people. Eventually, someone has got to take a rope into the shower with them, lay it on the roof overnight in January (or winter wherever you are), and push it to class.

As long as I am getting scientific, what goes up is coming down. All you have to do is change your frame of reference and what falls down must go up.

Note that pigs do not sweat, they pant, but you never hear of anyone panting like a pig, do you.

If I get too big for my breeches, and it hangs out the cuff, will I get locked up. Hal, you want to clear that one up for us?