07-12-2004, 04:25 PM | #5 (permalink) |
Crazy
Location: San Francisco
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The thing you have to bear in mind with drinking rubbing alcohol is that it will give you the shits AND make you have to hurl. If you have both at once, but only have one toilet, then it becomes a matter of which you want to clean up less. And trust me, whereas vomit is no joy to clean up, liquid shit is HOT LAVA, okay? It will destroy whatever it touches.
Also, if you sit down, you can aim your vomit towards the bathtub, which you can't do with your anus.
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f-e-r-n-w-e-h is actually a gross misspelling of the name "gregory" |
07-12-2004, 04:32 PM | #6 (permalink) | |
Insane
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Quote:
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Green. Yellow. Blue. Last edited by aarchaon; 07-12-2004 at 05:02 PM.. |
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07-12-2004, 04:45 PM | #9 (permalink) |
Insane
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Hast Du etwas Zeit für mich
Dann singe ich ein Lied fuer Dich Von 99 Luftballons Auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont Denkst Du vielleicht grad' an mich Dann singe ich ein Lied fuer Dich Von 99 Luftballons Und dass sowas von sowas kommt 99 Luftballons Auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont Hielt man fuer UFOs aus dem All Darum schickte ein General Eine Fliegerstaffel hinterher Alarm zu geben, wenn es so war Dabei war da am Horizont Nur 99 Luftballons 99 Duesenjaeger Jeder war ein grosser Krieger Hielten sich fuer Captain Kirk Das gab ein grosses Feuerwerk Die Nachbarn haben nichts gerafft Und fuehlten sich gleich angemacht Dabei schoss man am Horizont Auf 99 Luftballons 99 Kriegsminister Streichholz und Benzinkanister Hielten sich fuer schlaue Leute Witterten schon fette Beute Riefen: Krieg und wollten Macht Mann, wer haette das gedacht Dass es einmal soweit kommt Wegen 99 Luftballons
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Green. Yellow. Blue. |
07-12-2004, 06:54 PM | #15 (permalink) |
lonely rolling star
Location: Seattle.
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Okay
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"Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials." -Lin Yutang hearts, by d.a. |
07-13-2004, 12:01 PM | #22 (permalink) | |
Non-Rookie
Location: Green Bay, WI
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Quote:
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I have an aura of reliability and good judgement. Just in case you were wondering... |
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07-13-2004, 01:10 PM | #23 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: The Amish Wastelands of Ohio
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SO there we were.... riding through the hills of West Virginia in a 1956 Chevy pickup. Granted, most of the truck had rusted away, but what was left was still completely drivable, especially if your name is Irwin and you have no teeth left. I'm sitting there riding shotgun next to Irwin with a seat spring poking me squarely in the left ass cheek, and I was suddenly feeling mighty nervous about our cargo. We were hauling seven 55 gallon drums filled to the brim with shotgun shells... aside from the seven drums of 12 Gauge glory, we carried one single frozen pig. There was nothing special about the pig. It was just your average run-of-the-mill dead pig which had been cleaned and frozen and was awaiting consumption at the hands of Irwin. The pig was placed ever so carefully inside one of the barrels of shells, which was only half full. Irwin had done this so that the pig wouldnt roll around and fall out of one of the numerous holes in the bed of the Chevy. We had been travelling for about an hour when Irwin hit a pothole in the dirt road. Suddenly a load roar erupted from the bed of the truck, and above us could be seen a 38 and one half pound pig soaring through the air. The pig kept climbing in altitude until it could no longer be seen. Irwin was a little mad, more at the loss of the pig than of the shotgun ammo, but to this day, he swears that that single airborn pig is why aliens abduct cattle. "They just want to git they wierd twisted space asses some bar-b-que!"
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Honk if you've never seen an uzi fired from a car window! |
07-14-2004, 08:19 AM | #26 (permalink) |
Dumb all over...a little ugly on the side
Location: In the room where the giant fire puffer works, and the torture never stops.
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You have something time for me then sing I a song for you from 99
ballons on its way to the horizon think you degrees ' of me then perhaps sing I a song for you from 99 ballons and that sowas of sowas comes one regarded 99 ballons on its way to the horizon as uFOs from the universe therefore sent a general a flier relay afterwards alarm to give, if it like that was thereby was there on the horizon only 99 ballons 99 jet military planes of everyone was not a large krieger held themselves for Captain Kirk gave large fireworks the neighbours anything gerafft and felt thereby shot equivalent put on one on the horizon on 99 ballons 99 war Ministers match and gasoline can regarded themselves as smart people Witterten already fat booty scoring: War and wanted power man, who would have that meant that it once so far comes ways 99 ballons
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He's the best, of course, of all the worst. Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin... |
07-14-2004, 08:59 AM | #27 (permalink) | |
Getting it.
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
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Quote:
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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke |
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07-14-2004, 03:43 PM | #33 (permalink) | |
Psycho
Location: Mostly standing in a blue semi-circle
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Quote:
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- And so he says, 'I don't like the cut of your jib.' And I go I says, IT'S THE ONLY JIB I GOT, BABY! - |
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07-14-2004, 07:06 PM | #34 (permalink) | |
Not so great lurker
Location: NY
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Quote:
http://www.inthe80s.com/redger3.shtml |
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07-14-2004, 08:16 PM | #35 (permalink) |
Dumb all over...a little ugly on the side
Location: In the room where the giant fire puffer works, and the torture never stops.
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I think mine, poorly translated by an online translator, is funnier.
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He's the best, of course, of all the worst. Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin... |
07-14-2004, 08:28 PM | #36 (permalink) |
not your typical god-fearing junkie
Location: State of Confusion
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Its rejected....winner of several short film awards I believe.
Funny stuff. "My anus is bleeding!"
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the light that burns twice as bright burns half as long and you have burned so very, very brightly |
07-14-2004, 08:58 PM | #37 (permalink) | |
Crazy
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Quote:
"I am the Queen of France!" not "I'm the Queen of France!" Honestly, some people...
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DINANZI A ME NON FUOR COSE CREATE SE NON ETTERNE, E IO ETTERNA DURO. LASCIATE OGNE SPERANZA, VIO CH'INTRATE'. |
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07-15-2004, 08:53 AM | #40 (permalink) |
Junkie
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Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this
continent a new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation or any nation so conceived and so dedicated can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting-place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. But in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead who struggled here have consecrated it far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living rather to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us--that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion--that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain, that this nation under God shall have a new birth of freedom, and that government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth.
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The most important thing in this world is love. |
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