Is it one of those air fresheners shaped like a little tree?

was it not a bong?

It is not an air freshner, and it is not a bong.

It tells you where to go.

A map?

YES!!!!!!!

What kind of map? a treasure map? A Toaster map?

I don't need a map to tell me where to go in my kitchen...

A grease tray?

Hooray! And it only took forty-five questions... ;)

Was it a toasted map? You know, like in that deleted scene from Goonie where Troy steals the treasure map and rolls it up and smokes it? Only in this case the map didn't lead to treasure, but a cheerleader making drinks in a blender?

I knew it was a horse all along.