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Old 05-03-2004, 05:48 PM   #1 (permalink)
Misanthropic
 
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Location: Ohio! yay!
If you were god...

If I was god I would run past that camera robot on Mars with a gorilla suit on and freak everyone out.

You?
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Old 05-03-2004, 06:05 PM   #2 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
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Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
If I was god I'd scrounge around at the city dumps, harrassing the birds and rats.
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Old 05-03-2004, 06:12 PM   #3 (permalink)
you can't see me
 
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Location: Illinois
If I was God, I would rearrange cities at night just to screw with peoples' minds.
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Old 05-03-2004, 06:13 PM   #4 (permalink)
Fly
see the links to my music?
 
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Location: Beautiful British Columbia
if i was god,i would let mother nature take over the planet.
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Old 05-03-2004, 06:17 PM   #5 (permalink)
Apocalypse Nerd
 
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If I was God I'd make divine conception with every chick on the planet.
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Old 05-03-2004, 06:19 PM   #6 (permalink)
Gastrolithuanian
 
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Location: low-velocity Earth orbit
If I were a god I would make every chick on the planet Astrocloud.
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Old 05-03-2004, 06:44 PM   #7 (permalink)
Apocalypse Nerd
 
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If I were god -GH would be bite sized
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Old 05-03-2004, 06:44 PM   #8 (permalink)
Fly
see the links to my music?
 
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Location: Beautiful British Columbia
Quote:
Originally posted by Giant Hamburger
If I were a god I would make every chick on the planet Astrocloud.


even if i was god.............i'd wonder why????????
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Old 05-03-2004, 06:57 PM   #9 (permalink)
Apocalypse Nerd
 
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If I were god I'd make geese see me.
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Old 05-03-2004, 06:57 PM   #10 (permalink)
Fly
see the links to my music?
 
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Location: Beautiful British Columbia
Quote:
Originally posted by Astrocloud
If I were god I'd make geese see me.

canadian geese?
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Old 05-03-2004, 07:18 PM   #11 (permalink)
Everything's better with bacon
 
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Location: In your local grocer's freezer.
If I were God, I would stop everyone from hating each other. I would get rid of diseases like cancer, ALS, and other nasty shit that takes you out in your prime. I would erase world hunger.

If I were God, I would make sure that every line you waited was the fastest line. I would make smoking smell nice and be consequence-free. I would make the ingredients for making beer so abundant that it would sell for only $1.00 a case.

If I were God, everyone would be able to have sex with anyone else they wanted, there would be no jealousy. Drug use would only affect you while you were using and would have no addictive effect-ever, and you would never overdose.

If I were God, everyone could afford a 1 million dollar house and drive around in Ferrari's. There would be a Ferrari SUV. Flyman would be President and his first Executive Order would be to turn the Capitol Dome into a gigantic hookah.

Before I start getting ludicrous, let me just say that a lot of things would certainly be different if I were God.
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Old 05-03-2004, 07:22 PM   #12 (permalink)
Misanthropic
 
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Location: Ohio! yay!
If I were god, I'd sneak into everyone's house while they were sleeping and switch the "M" and "N" keys on the keyboard... in fact, I am thinking about doing that anyways...
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Old 05-03-2004, 07:54 PM   #13 (permalink)
::::::::::::::::::::::::: :.
 
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Location: this ain't kansas, toto
wrkime, man... next election i'm voting for you as GOD. you the man for the job.

if i was the goddess, yeah goddess, women rule, fuckin deal with it...
i'd make every lotto ticket purchase a jackpot winner.
i would destroy hate & greed. liars & thieves & other slime of the earth forms would be banished to a dungeon full of their own pooh.
there'd be 3-day work weeks & 5 day weekends (yeah, i'd add an additional day to the week).
the temperature would remain a pleasant constant 74 degrees year round, except for people who like skiing, so the alps & tahoe would remain snowy year round.
all the domesticated homeless animals would have good homes where they're spoiled rotten & no one would complain about it.
they'd be no wars, cuz there's no greed or prejudice anymore.
crackprogram's keyboard would be nothing but the keys "M" & "N"
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Old 05-03-2004, 08:05 PM   #14 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
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Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
If I were god, I'd make wrkime and bernie god(ess) cuz their world sounds so much better than harrassing birds and rats.




/needs new job
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Old 05-03-2004, 08:16 PM   #15 (permalink)
Everything's better with bacon
 
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Location: In your local grocer's freezer.
You and me all the way bernadette. We'd be known as the Gods to be with, maybe Nike might even give us our own sneaker to commemorate our Godnesses.
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Old 05-03-2004, 08:24 PM   #16 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: 1000 miles from nowhere
If I were God...I would make sense of myself to people.
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Old 05-03-2004, 08:38 PM   #17 (permalink)
is you wicked?
 
Location: I live in a giant bucket.
If I were God I would hide from the geese... in an arcade playing skee-ball.
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Old 05-03-2004, 11:40 PM   #18 (permalink)
The one that got away
 
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Location: Over the hill and far away
If I was God, the sea would be Guinness.
And there would be no devil, only me when I was drunk.
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Old 05-04-2004, 12:21 AM   #19 (permalink)
Insensative Fuck.
 
Location: Boon towns of Ohio
If I were god there would be elicit sex on Tv...... like little opie eatting pie that he made with aunt bee....
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Old 05-04-2004, 03:36 AM   #20 (permalink)
Fly
see the links to my music?
 
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Location: Beautiful British Columbia
wrkime..........you got my vote for god man.......


*hookah*
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Old 05-04-2004, 04:55 AM   #21 (permalink)
through charlatans phone
 
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Location: Northcoast
Quote:
Originally posted by hu-man
If I was God, the sea would be Guinness.
Hot damn, you'd get my vote!
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Old 05-04-2004, 05:36 AM   #22 (permalink)
Apocalypse Nerd
 
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If I were god I'd get paddyjoe's vote
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Old 05-04-2004, 05:45 AM   #23 (permalink)
I aim to misbehave!
 
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Location: SW Oklahoma
I'd get rid of every powered weapon on the planet.

No guns, no bombs, no missles, no gernades, no mines. Nothing that didn't work by hand power

Then, if you wanted to keep killing each other it would be personal. You would have to look someone in the eye and take your chances if you wanted to kill them.

Might cut down the violence a little.

Oh yeah! Motorcycles would always have the right of way.

Popeye the sailor would be on the $100 bill.

And breasts would never respond to the long time affect of gravity.
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Last edited by rockogre; 05-04-2004 at 05:48 AM..
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Old 05-04-2004, 10:15 AM   #24 (permalink)
Sky Piercer
 
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Location: Ireland
I'd randomly smite people. Coz That's the kind of prick that I am.
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Old 05-04-2004, 10:33 AM   #25 (permalink)
Getting it.
 
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Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
If I were God I would walk the world naked sipping ice tea...
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Old 05-04-2004, 10:35 AM   #26 (permalink)
Psychoholic
 
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Location: Ein tov she'ein bo ra!
If I were god. I would stop time and head to the local malls to um, well you get the idea.
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Old 05-04-2004, 10:45 AM   #27 (permalink)
Sky Piercer
 
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Location: Ireland
Quote:
Originally posted by Charlatan
If I were God I would walk the world naked sipping ice tea...
Hell. I do that anyway.
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Old 05-04-2004, 11:21 AM   #28 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: MD
I would be a very very flawed administrator...
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Old 05-04-2004, 11:30 AM   #29 (permalink)
mml
Adrift
 
Location: Wandering in the Desert of Life
What do mean IF I were God?
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Old 05-04-2004, 11:53 AM   #30 (permalink)
is you wicked?
 
Location: I live in a giant bucket.
Quote:
Originally posted by CSflim
I'd randomly smite people. Coz That's the kind of prick that I am.
You just reminded me of this Red Meat comic:
http://www.redmeat.com/redmeat/1999-08-30/index.html
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Old 05-04-2004, 12:04 PM   #31 (permalink)
Sky Piercer
 
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Location: Ireland
Quote:
Originally posted by Batman976
You just reminded me of this Red Meat comic:
http://www.redmeat.com/redmeat/1999-08-30/index.html
nice!
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Old 05-04-2004, 12:08 PM   #32 (permalink)
Sky Piercer
 
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Location: Ireland
Re: If you were god...

Quote:
Originally posted by crackprogram
If I was god I would run past that camera robot on Mars with a gorilla suit on and freak everyone out.
I don't think anyone would actually notice:

http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?cha...0D83414B7F0000
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Old 05-04-2004, 12:11 PM   #33 (permalink)
Getting it.
 
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Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
Quote:
Originally posted by CSflim
Hell. I do that anyway.

In Antarctica?
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Old 05-04-2004, 01:41 PM   #34 (permalink)
Had to leave this awesome space
 
Force 10's Avatar
 
If I were god I'd post to this thread to prove to you I was.
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Old 05-04-2004, 02:03 PM   #35 (permalink)
Sky Piercer
 
CSflim's Avatar
 
Location: Ireland
Actually, come to think of it, if I was God, I would probably just wander into people's houses and eat their food, watch their tv, snd if anyone said anything to me, I'd be all like "Fuck You! I *am* God you know"
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Old 05-04-2004, 02:34 PM   #36 (permalink)
Misanthropic
 
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Location: Ohio! yay!
Two words... Clothing optional Tuesdays!
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Old 05-04-2004, 02:59 PM   #37 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
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Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
Quote:
Originally posted by crackprogram
Two words... Clothing optional Tuesdays!
I guess if you were god, you would have accountants to count for you?
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Old 05-04-2004, 03:15 PM   #38 (permalink)
Misanthropic
 
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Location: Ohio! yay!
Quote:
Originally posted by Fremen
I guess if you were god, you would have accountants to count for you?
...

sometimes even god get's screwed up by the damn metric conversions...
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Old 05-04-2004, 05:39 PM   #39 (permalink)
Indifferent to anti-matter
 
vermin's Avatar
 
Location: Tucson, AZ
If I were God I'd make all the white people black and all the black people asian and all the asian people hispanic and all the hispanic people 15 feet tall.

All murderers would be turned into kittens.

Theives would be turned into hemroids on the murderer kittens' asses.

Grilled T-bone steaks would become cheap and available everywhere.

Hamsters would be given sedatives.

My son might actually behave for once.
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Old 05-04-2004, 05:42 PM   #40 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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If I were God I'd change nothing Because the world is just what you make of it
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