the best Usenet thread I ever read - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Sion · 05-02-2004, 11:43 PM

from: alt.tv.sopranos

...there are three stalls, all of which are unoccupied when I walked in, so I
take the big one on the end. Naturally, I had the door to the shitter closed,
but if it had been open, you can see three urinals lined up... each one
directly in front of each shitter. Got a mental picture of that? Good.
Onward we go.

So I'm in there pumping out a growler as I read the USA Today's sports section.
I hear someone pull up to the pissery which is directly in front of my stall.
I hear him loudly humming some annoying little diddy to himself, but I don't
think anything of it. After twenty or so seconds, I still don't hear any whizz
coming out of this guy, but I can see his feet... I know he's still right in
front of the urinal. To make matters worse, his humming is getting louder and
more irritating, so I do the old "crinkle the newspaper to let dude know that
he has company" so that maybe he'll get the hint and shut the fuck up.

The humming mercifully ceases, and he gets down to bidneth. I hear SPURTS of
piss, as if someone was using a squirt gun every five or six seconds or so.
This guy is squeezing out piss in two second intervals... I dunno if he has
prostate issues, or what. But I'm suddenly feeling slightly empathetic, as I
had a penis stricture back in '95 which caused me to endure a piss pattern much
like I was hearing out of this gent. (Two days of antibiotics cleared me right
up, BTW... I didn't want to leave everyone hanging). Anyway, I was just about
done in my stall but I stayed there until he was done so as to not embarrass
him... he knows I've been hearing his urinary struggles, ya know? Better to
let him finish up first, I think to myself, even though I didn't know if I
should have packed a lunch. I mean, this fucker could have been standing there
pissing until Friday for all I knew.

So how does my gentlemanly patience get rewarded??? As he's continuing in his
"QUEST FOR PISS", he let's out an incredibly loud and uninterrupted six second
fart. A SIX SECOND UNBROKEN FART... swear to God! Even in the shithouse, it
was pretty disgusting. And I caught wind of it about twenty seconds later.
I'm sitting on a shitter which I have not yet flushed, and this guy's gas is
*overpowering* my dump! It was a positively nasty fart. Pure evil.

I then go out into the gym to try and ascertain who the author of this fart
might be, but I did not see the shoes in question. He must have been on his
way out.

It's a sad day, really. I would have liked to meet this guy to give him a
hearty handshake.

--------------------------

Theres a fellow at my job who STAYS in the shitter. I usually hit the head
about 3 times a day and this cat is always in there. It does not matter what
time or what day; that bastard is always in there dropping a deuce. Personally,
I tend not to drop logs in public restrooms. I'm not shy; I just don't want
some nimrod trying to talk to me whilst I'm shatting.

___________________

I work with a guy who goes to the shitter every day and has a shit
nap. Yup......he sits on the shitter and has a 45 min to an hour shit nap.
you can hear him snoring some times.

-------------------------------

I remember once in college I went to use the bathroom to check on a contact
lens that had been bothering me. One of my professors was using the shitter
stall (I already knew this because I saw him walk in the bathroom about a
minute before I went in myself). Anyway, I know he's in the stall, not
thinking anything of it. All of the sudden I hear this from behind the
stall..."Bye-bye, Hiroshima..."

bernadette · 05-04-2004, 08:08 PM

<font size="4">BWAHAHAHAHA</font>

pooper stories are funny. there. i said it.

"dropping the kids off the pool" is my new favorite saying for taking a dump.

yeah, contrary to popular belief, the female population does also excrete.
sometimes i just like to post that women don't shit or fart, but that's just me sometimes being full of shit!

thanks for the laughs, Sion.

Sion · 05-04-2004, 08:27 PM

thanks for the reply bern. I thought this post was gonna die a pathetic, lonely death. But you have resurrected it, and now it will become America's newest TFP sensation.

now who's being fulla shit? lol

Destrox · 05-05-2004, 01:38 AM

Bye bye Hiroshima.. my god that is FUNNY.

This whole thread gets a A+

Charlatan · 05-05-2004, 06:39 AM

Damn! I just burst out laughing and now I have to cover why I'm laughing so hard... Bye-bye Hiroshima... bloody hell

I have to use the public bathroom at work and I hate it when other people come in while I'm shooting submarines...

unoaman · 08-03-2004, 07:03 AM

For those of you that like to read while bombing Hiroshima, down load this, print some of it off, and you're ready to let em fly...

http://www.shit-poo-scat-toilet.com/...te-my-poo.html

omega2K4 · 08-03-2004, 07:09 AM

ahahahahahahahahah @ bye-bye hiroshima.

Booray · 08-03-2004, 07:40 PM

that's some funny stuff

Fly · 08-03-2004, 07:46 PM

Bwahahhaaa........thanx for the bathroom humour dude

The Phenomenon · 08-04-2004, 02:28 AM

Bye bye hiroshima... WHAAAAAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!

05-02-2004, 11:43 PM	#1 (permalink)
Sion Dumb all over...a little ugly on the side Location: In the room where the giant fire puffer works, and the torture never stops.	the best Usenet thread I ever read from: alt.tv.sopranos ...there are three stalls, all of which are unoccupied when I walked in, so I take the big one on the end. Naturally, I had the door to the shitter closed, but if it had been open, you can see three urinals lined up... each one directly in front of each shitter. Got a mental picture of that? Good. Onward we go. So I'm in there pumping out a growler as I read the USA Today's sports section. I hear someone pull up to the pissery which is directly in front of my stall. I hear him loudly humming some annoying little diddy to himself, but I don't think anything of it. After twenty or so seconds, I still don't hear any whizz coming out of this guy, but I can see his feet... I know he's still right in front of the urinal. To make matters worse, his humming is getting louder and more irritating, so I do the old "crinkle the newspaper to let dude know that he has company" so that maybe he'll get the hint and shut the fuck up. The humming mercifully ceases, and he gets down to bidneth. I hear SPURTS of piss, as if someone was using a squirt gun every five or six seconds or so. This guy is squeezing out piss in two second intervals... I dunno if he has prostate issues, or what. But I'm suddenly feeling slightly empathetic, as I had a penis stricture back in '95 which caused me to endure a piss pattern much like I was hearing out of this gent. (Two days of antibiotics cleared me right up, BTW... I didn't want to leave everyone hanging). Anyway, I was just about done in my stall but I stayed there until he was done so as to not embarrass him... he knows I've been hearing his urinary struggles, ya know? Better to let him finish up first, I think to myself, even though I didn't know if I should have packed a lunch. I mean, this fucker could have been standing there pissing until Friday for all I knew. So how does my gentlemanly patience get rewarded??? As he's continuing in his "QUEST FOR PISS", he let's out an incredibly loud and uninterrupted six second fart. A SIX SECOND UNBROKEN FART... swear to God! Even in the shithouse, it was pretty disgusting. And I caught wind of it about twenty seconds later. I'm sitting on a shitter which I have not yet flushed, and this guy's gas is overpowering my dump! It was a positively nasty fart. Pure evil. I then go out into the gym to try and ascertain who the author of this fart might be, but I did not see the shoes in question. He must have been on his way out. It's a sad day, really. I would have liked to meet this guy to give him a hearty handshake. -------------------------- Theres a fellow at my job who STAYS in the shitter. I usually hit the head about 3 times a day and this cat is always in there. It does not matter what time or what day; that bastard is always in there dropping a deuce. Personally, I tend not to drop logs in public restrooms. I'm not shy; I just don't want some nimrod trying to talk to me whilst I'm shatting. ___________________ I work with a guy who goes to the shitter every day and has a shit nap. Yup......he sits on the shitter and has a 45 min to an hour shit nap. you can hear him snoring some times. ------------------------------- I remember once in college I went to use the bathroom to check on a contact lens that had been bothering me. One of my professors was using the shitter stall (I already knew this because I saw him walk in the bathroom about a minute before I went in myself). Anyway, I know he's in the stall, not thinking anything of it. All of the sudden I hear this from behind the stall..."Bye-bye, Hiroshima..." __________________ He's the best, of course, of all the worst. Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...

05-04-2004, 08:08 PM	#2 (permalink)
bernadette ::::::::::::::::::::::::: :. Location: this ain't kansas, toto	<font size="4">BWAHAHAHAHA</font> pooper stories are funny. there. i said it. "dropping the kids off the pool" is my new favorite saying for taking a dump. yeah, contrary to popular belief, the female population does also excrete. sometimes i just like to post that women don't shit or fart, but that's just me sometimes being full of shit! thanks for the laughs, Sion. __________________ .:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

05-04-2004, 08:27 PM	#3 (permalink)
Sion Dumb all over...a little ugly on the side Location: In the room where the giant fire puffer works, and the torture never stops.	thanks for the reply bern. I thought this post was gonna die a pathetic, lonely death. But you have resurrected it, and now it will become America's newest TFP sensation. now who's being fulla shit? lol __________________ He's the best, of course, of all the worst. Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...

05-05-2004, 01:38 AM	#4 (permalink)
Destrox Metal and Rock 4 Life Location: Phoenix	Bye bye Hiroshima.. my god that is FUNNY. This whole thread gets a A+ __________________ You bore me.... next.

05-05-2004, 06:39 AM	#5 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	Damn! I just burst out laughing and now I have to cover why I'm laughing so hard... Bye-bye Hiroshima... bloody hell I have to use the public bathroom at work and I hate it when other people come in while I'm shooting submarines... __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

08-03-2004, 07:03 AM	#6 (permalink)
unoaman Loser Location: Scenic Drive	pooper stories For those of you that like to read while bombing Hiroshima, down load this, print some of it off, and you're ready to let em fly... http://www.shit-poo-scat-toilet.com/...te-my-poo.html

08-03-2004, 07:09 AM	#7 (permalink)
omega2K4 Natalie Portman is sexy. Location: The Outer Rim	ahahahahahahahahah @ bye-bye hiroshima. __________________ "While the State exists there can be no freedom. When there is freedom there will be no State." - Vladimir Ilyich Lenin "Reason has always existed, but not always in a reasonable form."- Karl Marx

08-03-2004, 07:40 PM	#8 (permalink)
Booray Stumbling to the end Location: Atlanta, GA	that's some funny stuff __________________ Persuaded, paraded, inebriated, and down Still aware of everything life carries on without

08-03-2004, 07:46 PM	#9 (permalink)
Fly see the links to my music? Location: Beautiful British Columbia	Bwahahhaaa........thanx for the bathroom humour dude __________________ BASTARD SterlingStudios

08-04-2004, 02:28 AM	#10 (permalink)
The Phenomenon Psycho Location: I think my horns are coming out	Bye bye hiroshima... WHAAAAAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!! __________________ Do not confuse altruism with kindness, good will or respect for the rights of others. These are not primaries, but consequences, which, in fact, altruism makes impossible. The irreducible primary of altruism, the basic absolute, is self-sacrifice - which means: self-immolation, self-abnegation, self-denial, self-destruction - which means: the self as a standard of evil, the selfless as a standard of the good.