The Ask Hal thread... resurrected
 

ask me a question and I shall answer

What should I do with my life?

Can I ask two questions?

if so...

How much are Llamas to buy in washington state?

Why does it burn when I pee?

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

When are you gonna hook me up with one of your sisters?

Was that rude of me to ask?

When you gonna come to Denver so you and I can hang out and pick up on 19yr olds?

you got the time man?

what's your fav beverage?

wanna get high sometime?

ogre:
1) you should be an actor
2) $300... no tax

OK:
1) your toilet is actually conducting a small voltage
2) plenty
3) when you come out here
4) nah
5) i dotn know when, but it should happen.. sometime

flyman:
1) 4:18pm
2) strawberry daquiri OR liquified yogurt
3) nah, but we can get a drink

Is there anything to do in our town?
If not, do you want some Pizza Hut pizza?

How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?

and

What would you do for a Klondike Bar?

Clark:
1) I outsource my 'things to do' to Hollywood.
2) I'm down for some pizza.. let me know

gnort:
1) 370 really hard licks
2) put a buck down on the counter

If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

Astrocloud:
conditionally

1- what should we have for dinner? (you better answer this one quick, or we might starve!)
2- How much IS the price of tea in china? (preferably Green or Jasmine)
3- Where's your shirt?

1) Who is arguably Australia's greatest ever lawn bowler?

2) Fill in the blanks with the five one-digit numbers that will correctly
compete the series (note the semicolons, which divide the numbers into
groups):

3,6; 1,3,4,5,7; 1,3,4,6,7; 2,3,4,6; _,_,_,_,_; 1,2,4,5,6,7; 1,3,6

3) If there was a bridge to mars you could walk on, how long would it take you to get there

4) Why is it that hummingbirds know exactly when new nectar is in each flower?

5) Who shot JFK

6) Does my bum look big in this?

Oshn:
1) sushi.. yum
2) i'm guessing cheap
3) on me, but it would be nice to be rid of it

slim:
1) I think his name was Jim
2) no
3) way longer than I'm willing to walk
4) he didn't get shot.. he just got struck by two very small meteorites
5) no, you're fine (snicker)

saw this on a job app once...

"who's your daddy?"

How long is your penis?

phil:
his name is orson and he has a diluted carribean accent

Why is the hot water faucet always on the left-hand side (when there are two faucets, that is)?

1. If I were a carpenter
and you were a lady, would you marry me anyway, would you have my baby?

How's life treating you?

why did you cop out of answering my questions?

Why are there always 10 teller windows at a bank, but only 2 tellers?

just a couple of simple questions, Hal:

1: Is Spam really made from spaghetti and ham?
2: Why did they choose white for the color of marshmallows?

Maybe something sports related, Hal:

1) Will the Dodgers win another series in your lifetime?

2) Will the Red Sox win another series in my lifetime?

3) Is Elvis still alive? (sorry, but I gotta know)

why is TFP important to you?

What do you like about living in California?

HAL! Where are you.. You're going to be buuuusyy soon.. >: )

Is Munku a man or a woman, and does he/she look like the person in her/his avatar like he/she claims? Thanks!

I've never seen a pink lemon, so...explain pink lemonade.

When's the advertising coming?
http://tfproject.org/advertising.html

What's your long-term goal and how do you feel it will benifit you as a person?

Does your mother know what you do for a living?

Why does my friend sing songs about anal sex and masturbation whenever I am around him?

Why are you willing to answer so many questions... or ARE you.... you seem to have disappeared!!

Did we scare you off?

How did Stella get her groove back?

whats the biggest issue, to your mind, thats facing the development of the TFP at the moment?

where is Wile E?

Why won't you answer our questions? Don't you love us anymore?

a dude's gotta have a social life, right?

so here I am on a saturday night..

redlemon:
just google it

filterton:
no

NiceGuy:
could be better, but it's still very fun to be me

slim:
'cause this is my thread

derwood:
greed and inconsideration

wrkime:
1. I don't know
2. it's a euphemism for semen... fluffy semen

paddyjoe:
1: yes, in 3 years
2: no.. HAH
3: of course not

bernadette:
Because it is important to many people and I am responsible for everything involved with it. It's my duty and my life.

fremen:
sports games start at a decent time

munku:
i'm here now and I am busy :)

deflok:
it's a man, baby

bones:
no, no, and no

bonesCPA:
food coloring.. duh

astrocloud:
as soon as someone invests

ruprex:
1: president
2: yep

VF19:
you can answer that yourself

sillygirl:
I'm doing all right.. I think

losthellhound:
nope

gnort:
gyrating vibrator I'm guessing

bundy:
1: word of mouth.. there's not enough word of mouth going around
2: i dont even know that one

deflok:
me love you long time

Halx: Do you put your socks on first or your pants?

And which pant leg do you put on first, left or right?

Damnit Hal, I was ahead of all of those people...

I shall ask again, how long is your penis?

How do you express pi in a number system of base pi?

:D

averett:
1: pants first... no socks without the pants
2: i'd have to take them off to test ... is that your plan?

munku:
I dont answer that question

stilt:
i don't know, and I'm not sure knowing it would give me what I'm looking for in life

Stiltzkin:
1

there, saved Hal the trouble.

A chocolate glazed doughnut is rolling down 5th avenue in NYC at 2.3 mph. If a small brown rabbit is chasing that doughnut and suddenly trips over a dwarf wearing spandex, how many cups of sugar would it take to get to the moon?

gnort.. how about asking me something I give a shit about? :)

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Hal - whats the weather like there?

will this thread ever drive you insane??

Should I hate hal for refusing my question?

numist:
i dont know.. I'm not too keen on going outside

integra:
it has before...

munku:
no!

It's rather windy but nice and sunny.

Now I have a question, where would be a good place to get a job around here?

Why can't I sleep at night?

clark:
look on craigslist.org

sillygirl:
perhaps it's a complication related to the winged insects that you appear to have ingested

So Hal..
Why are you wearing pants?

Now Hal,


are you sure you didn't somehow confuse or mix up question 1 and 2?

Oh, I never thought of that! :o

So, what should I do for the new guy I'm dating for Valentine's Day? (Nothing sexual) He told me I'm "Not allowed" to get him anything, but I'd rather think of something sweet to do anyway.

>sigh< alright, alright...Ill stop with the stupid questions(the answer to the last one was 3 btw :D )

new question!

What's your favorite movie?

How long until you answer my question?

What's the square root of dick?

Short question...

What porn star would you like to have sex with the most?

Have you told your mother "I love you" today?

wanna shoot some stick?

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...threadid=42781

......and i need the time man?:D

Windows or Linux?

Are you really the head of the Kwik-e mart?
Really?
You?

oh i got another 1
can I start another thread exactly like this, but make my answers wittier than yours?

I'm organising a friend's stag weekend.

Where should we go: Amsterdam, Prague or Ibiza?

anders:
it's really complicated.. I know I shouldn't.. but.. it's not what you expect

paddyjoe:
100% sure

sillygirl:
terribly cliche.. but.. cook him something?

gnort:
Amelie

tinfoil:
2 seconds
5.1962

cobra:
none of 'em... they all skanky

grumpy:
nope.. maybe later

flyman:
i'd love to

sonic:
windows - linux users are masochists

slim:
1. no, thank you, come again
2. sure.. whatever

jwoody:
prague!

Okay, Hal.... now the question is.... what do I cook for him? I'm relatively handy in the kitchen, but we both still live with parents... and he's taking me to dinner....

Good call, it's one of my favorites too. What's your favorite part?

I have many favorite parts, but the one that comes to mind right away is when she's sitting on the roof of that guy's house that tried to make her beleive that she caused his car crash and all those other worldwide disasters. And she keeps unplugging his satellite in the middle of the soccer game he's watching.:lol: I laugh now, just thinking of the look on her face (grr), and I think I'm gonna go watch it again. (it always puts me in a good mood:))

1. Why did macaulay culkin always hang out with michael jackson?
2. what was really eating gilbert grape?
3. Budweiser or Miller?

Actually, the correct answer is:
10

But you had the right idea :thumbsup:.

Next question:
How many monkeys standing on top of each other's shoulders does it take to get to the moon?

Is it normal for a man of my age to be thinking about Global Domination and Galactic Conquest?

should I chop my hair off again or grow it long? (it's about chin length now)

Also, will I become a famous novelist?

I wish to ask both those questions.

(Uncanny, I'm writing mythological novels about Gods and have been contemplating growing my hair long and scruffy)

What is the significance of meaning?

what is the meaning of significance?

How would I start out in the "Porn Star Business"? BTW I am hung like a spider... :(

Have you gotten the new car yet?<p>If so do you like it?

who was the gourgous female on your lap inthe 'another day in Halxs life' do she have any photo sets.

Do you think the Dodgers should trade Beltre?

Do you think Mr T's hair should EVER be green?

would you mind if i bumped this thread?
do you like my avatar?

What is your favorite movie?

Didn't he say Amelie? :confused:

I anxiously await Halx's answer!

:D

1) what do you get out of answering people's questions?
2) have you ever starred in a porno?
3) why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?
4) why is it hard to get over breakups?
5) what's your fav song or fav singer/band?
6) how old are you?

me too ;)

Never gonna happen, Halx is way to busy of a man to answer all of our questions, he shuould elect a fine and upstanding TFPer to speak on his behalf...
*Waves hand from way back in the back of the classroom*
"Ooh, ooh, pick me, pick me!"
*pout*
I never get to answer anyone's questions, except for the cops...

You can answer a question for me...... how many posts do you think it'll take before Hal answers any questions? And do you think he'll answer mine about Valentine's Day?

hey Hal did you die?

I hope not! :(

I think it will take at least 4 more posts, and Hal will answer all of our questions about life the universe and everything in one four page post...

I can answer this one...
Cook him dinner, Go on a long walk, write him a poem about how good it feels to be together, draw him a picture, make him an "I love you" webpage at geocities (it's free)(or else it use to be...) have flowers delievered to his house, have porn delivered to his house(You would be the best girlfriend ever!) Take "pictures" of yourself and give them to him at the dinner you cooked.... threre, now you spent very little money, and the guy knows you love him... (or at least like him bunches):)

see now i know this answer but i want to see if you know Hal.

what is the answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything?

Does it make me wierd to want to look at a someone on tilted exhibition when I know that I could just go down three floors and ask?

41? no, no. 43...? That's not it...it's 42!

Not wierd, just lazy...

(I have taken it upon myself to answer threads on halx's behalf in his absence...)

I hope this is ok... :)

shhhh thats Hals queston

are you still interested in this thread man?

oh ya'.............you got the time?

Fine by me!! Oh, CP, I decorated his room. :)

Hal, don't you love us anymore?

when the hell you comin' up to shoot some stick man?

100 responses. Good job, Halx! Way to bait the crowd!