:::OshnSoul:::

The funniest, cheesiest, worst, or most clever pick-up lines go here.



Worst: "Do you spit or swallow?"

Clever: "Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good."

Cheesiest: "If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together."

Funniest: "If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?"

Found tons of great ones at:
http://linesthataregood.com/

Stiltzkin

Seems like something an electrical engineer or a CS major (or anyone that works with digital logic on any level for that matter) would come up with.

I got one:
You: Did it hurt?
Them: What?
You: When you fell from heaven?

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The most important thing in this world is love.

happymaan

I thought of this one the other day:

I love your outfit, it makes my penis look really big.

bundy

haha... i used to work with a chick who's regular reply to this line was, "mate, i skull!"

as for pick-up lines...

if i told you you had a hot body, would you hold it against me?

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Ohayo!!!

Astrocloud

Her: Do you want to get out of here and go back to my place and fuck?
Me: I don't think my girlfriend would like that.
Her: If your girlfriend cares so much then why isn't she here?
Me: She's right there (point across room).

thejoker130

The worlds best Pick-up line.......

Hi

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WHAT MORE CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR IF NOT FOR THE CARE OF THE REAPER MAN?
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I like you. When the world is mine your death will be quick and painless.

The_Dude

One of my favorites : Nice legs, what time do they open?

__________________
"Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." - Darrel K Royal

monody

not cheesy:
him: "are you real?"
me : "pardon me?"
him: "i just saw you sitting alone here, and thought you were such a pretty little thing, that i must be dreaming!"
(which worked, especially when you factored in the kilt and scottish accent)

cheesy:
"what's a nice girl like you doing sitting on a floor like this?"

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Wickedness is a myth invented by good people to explain the curious attractiveness of others.
-Oscar Wilde.

datroyenschwart

That one about the answer being the same as the answer to this question is the best one I've ever heard. I'll probably use that some time... On second thought, the girl probably wouldn't understand and would just say no without realizing what she's agreed to.

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Every day that I am alive is a great day. Life is filled with potential and love is everywhere.

Mr.Deflok

"Hey bitch! I'm horny as a motherfucker, why'on't yo hop into my low-rider and suck da fuck outta me?"
-A slapped friend

:::OshnSoul:::

Are those space pants? Cuz your ass is out of this world!

Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.

I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

I love this one: Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?

I wonder what our children will look like.

Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

What's that in your eye? Must just be a twinkle

Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?

cchris

Sounds like an ex girlfriend of mine.

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There's a fine line between participation and mockery

Bob Biter

- "Wanna sample something my mom made?"

- "Hey, do you know what the difference is between a steak and a penis? No? Wanna come over for dinner sometime?"

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A plan is just a list of things that don't happen.

VitaminH

"I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you!"

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"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever."
- Napoleon Bonaparte

herostar

I like that one

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Got time to chill?

wry1

My best friend from high school met his wife with this one....

Hi. My name is Jim. Would you like to come back to my place and sit on my face?

Her reply? Well, she looked him up and down, and said....

Come see me in about an hour.

muaha

haha..those are all good!

"are you from tennessee?"
"no why?"
"because your the only TEN I SEE!"

lmao..have fun

xim

nice shoes....wanna fuck?

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If I could be anyone in the world I would be Britney Spears. Shes in so many commercials about pepsi... www.ximcity.com

opackfan

terrible - "I have cable"

Lunchbox7

"If you play your cards right you could have me tonight"

"Do you want to play armies? I'll lay down and you can blow the fuck out of me"

"Im really bad at pick up lines but how about we just pretend we're friends and see how we go from there"

"Your so beautifull you could work behind the perfume counter at Grace Bros"

"Dont make me stalk you"

"Im big and Im cheesey"

"Your looking pretty hot. Bend over and I'll take your temperature"

Guy: "Your Beautiful"
Girl: "Fuck off!"
Guy: "Oh you must of misheard me. I said you look fat in that dress"

"Im a porn star"

Tophat665

Damn, that was mine!

One that would have probably worked without the wedding ring (I was just flirting), was in answer to, "Why would I want to have sex with you?", "Because I have a nine inch long tongue and I can breath though my ears." Not true, of course, but displays the right attitude. The flirtee was well impressed.

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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

uncle phil

hey, sailor...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

gremlinx8

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice! Call Me!

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Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted. -Lennon

vapusforever

Has anyone actually ever said one of these to someone, if you have, please tell the persons response.

Sensei

**My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want
to.

You must be from Pearl Harbor because baby you’re the bomb.


*I'm like American Express...except that you shouldn't go home without me.

*Excuse me, do you know CPR? Because when I saw you my heart stopped.

*Did you have Campbell's soup today?
Because you're lookin' mmm... mmm... good!

*Do you work for Federal Express? Cuz, damn! You sure have a nice package.

*You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

*Do you have a sunburn baby, or are you always this hot?

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Slacking off with style since 1981.

CinnamonGirl

That's my favorite one. Short and to the point, plus the added bonus of a compliment.

Another one that makes me laugh: I lost my phone number...can I have yours? (also heard it with "virginity" replacing "phone number")

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"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

WarWagon

If your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, why dont we get together between the holidays?

CheeseButtons

Guy: Do you have a quarter?
Girl: Why?
Guy: My mom told me to call her the first time I fall in love

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Sorrow is better than laughter,
because a sad face is good for the heart. -Ecclesiastes 7:3

Derwood

Do you wash your clothes in Windex? Because I can see myself in your pants.

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"You can't shoot a country until it becomes a democracy." - Willravel

iamtheone

Sensei - wow, what nice tits you have..

[that acts as a pickup line and to find out if this is her in the picture]

__________________
Music is holy, art is sacred, and creativity is power...

Think for Yourself Question Authority

3leggedfrog

my personal ones

1) hey were you raised on a chicken farm? no well you sure can raise some cocks
2) do you have some irsh in you? no would you like some?
3) they call me milk because i do a body good.
4) my tounge is six inches long and i can breath though my nose.
5) do you want to see something swell?
6) should i call you in the morning or just nudge you?
7) your legs must be tired because they have been running through my head all night.
8) let only letex stand between our love.
9) is that dress felt? would you like to be?
and number ten
10) do you mind if i end this sentence with a proposition.

i got a million of em. and they are all cheeze and none of them have worked as of yet sigh.

one last one
if i flip a coin what are the chances of getting head?

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"enjoy life to the brim but do not spill it" quoted off my tatoo

"Iam myself every day."

mr sticky

My fave:

That outfit would look great in a heap by my bed!

Runner up:

Why don't you have a seat in my lap and we'll just talk about the first thing that pops up!

Both have worked for me, but alas, as I've found in my older years that if these work for you with a particular philly, they generally join you in spite of these dribbles, not because of them.

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The sad thing is... as you get older you come to realize that you don't so much pilot your life, as you just try to hold on, in a screaming, defiant ball of white-knuckle anxious fury

sillygirl

This is probably the best/sweetest evar!

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Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken
....absence makes me miss him more...

water_boy1999

Damn, mine is similar when at a dance club:

Me: Would you like to dance"
Her: No thanks (with a look of bitchiness)
Me: I think you didn't hear me...I said, "You look fat in those pants"

-or-

Honey, you look finer than a new set of snow tires.

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Doh!!!!


-Homer Simpson

iamtheone

yo baby, wanna take a ride in my nova?

__________________
Music is holy, art is sacred, and creativity is power...

Think for Yourself Question Authority

uncle phil

each of my eyes is jealous of the other for the beauty it beholds...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

skier

yep.

__________________
"Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim

agball

Alltime Cheesiest

Him: Your Daddy Must Be a Thief
Her: Why?
Him: He Took All The Stars Out of the Sky and Put Them In Your Eyes

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"A friend with weed is a friend indeed"

Radi8tor

Do you use windex on your pants? because I can definetely see myself in them....

Also...

Approach a woman...tell her your friend on the other side of the bar(point to your friend on the other side of the bar) wants to know if she thinks you're cute...

Grimlok

Those are some funny ass lines there!

These are even funnier! Good stuff guys.

Let me try...

"Hi, I seemed to have lost my puppy dog, care to help me look for it in the cheap motel across the street?"

"Hey, you got any black in ya?.... Want some?"

"Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?"

"Nude photos?"

"You ever watch porno movies? Mind if I borrow one?"

"My friend bet me $100 bucks he could sleep with you tonight... Come home with me and we'll split the money."

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Your future looks very very grim!