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Old 01-16-2004, 11:29 AM   #1 (permalink)
Desert Rat
 
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Location: Arizona
Create our own Penthouse Forum!

I got this idea from the chat room, and hopefully it will be very successful. We will create our own penthouse forum, one line at a time. Try to be creative and not make the lines very long.
I'll start it off:

Dear Penthouse Forums, I never thought this could actually happen to a regular Joe like me...
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Old 01-16-2004, 11:32 AM   #2 (permalink)
Right Now
 
Location: Home
I was hanging out in my dorm room, when I thought I'd order some delivery pizza.
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Old 01-16-2004, 11:49 AM   #3 (permalink)
Know Where!
 
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When the pizza arrived, much to my surprise it was delivered by a hot blond pizza delivery woman.

Last edited by MacGnG; 01-16-2004 at 11:54 AM..
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Old 01-16-2004, 12:05 PM   #4 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Adding to my surprise, she had a trainee with her, who was an equally hot brunette.
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Old 01-16-2004, 12:09 PM   #5 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: NJ
It was obvious they had been drinking since they were leaning on each other and giggling when I opened the door.
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Old 01-16-2004, 12:26 PM   #6 (permalink)
Natalie Portman is sexy.
 
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Location: The Outer Rim
When I reached for the pizza, the blonde slapped my hand and the brunette forced my head inbetween her breasts.
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Old 01-16-2004, 12:47 PM   #7 (permalink)
Lost
 
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Location: One step closer to the padded cell...
the brunette dropped to her knees
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ERROR- PLBSAK
Problem Lies Between Seat and Keyboard.
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Old 01-16-2004, 02:15 PM   #8 (permalink)
Fly
see the links to my music?
 
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Location: Beautiful British Columbia
and,for some weird reason,decided to start gobbling on my knob.Now this seemed....
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SterlingStudios
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Old 01-16-2004, 02:23 PM   #9 (permalink)
Devoted
 
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Donor
Location: New England
...disturbing, as she was kneeling on the pizza box, and I was still hungry.
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Old 01-16-2004, 02:24 PM   #10 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: Central Illinois
The Hot blond Giggled and pried the door loose from my mouth... She closed the door and locked it. So Much for stiffing this broad...
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Old 01-16-2004, 03:10 PM   #11 (permalink)
Who You Crappin?
 
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Location: Everywhere and Nowhere
....more like a stiffy for this broad....
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Old 01-16-2004, 03:13 PM   #12 (permalink)
Apocalypse Nerd
 
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The blonde's name was Amy and the Brunette was Jackie. They didn't ask me my name as they dropped the pizza and moved to my couch.
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Old 01-16-2004, 03:17 PM   #13 (permalink)
through charlatans phone
 
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Location: Northcoast
Needless to say, I followed along like any Cocker Spaniel in heat would do.
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Old 01-16-2004, 03:20 PM   #14 (permalink)
Gastrolithuanian
 
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Location: low-velocity Earth orbit
From the floor, the forgotten pizza rhythmically shot out arcing ropes of molten cheese that covered everyone and everything. We hardly noticed as we
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Old 01-16-2004, 03:24 PM   #15 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: MA
...were to into the moment to worry about the mutated pizza.
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Old 01-16-2004, 03:58 PM   #16 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: Canada
I just kept on thinking...what im i going to eat now (hmm i should have thought about that one a bit more)
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Old 01-16-2004, 04:17 PM   #17 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Iowa?
One of the girls answered that with a...
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I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.
-The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, T.S. Eliot

Your dumber then me.
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Old 01-16-2004, 04:20 PM   #18 (permalink)
Buffering.........
 
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Location: Wisconsin...
with screeching yell because
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Donate now! Ask me How!

Please use the search function it is your friend.

Look at my mustang please feel free to comment!

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=26985
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Old 01-16-2004, 04:35 PM   #19 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
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Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
a rope of cheese shot across her well-formed ass-cheeks, causing
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Google
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Old 01-16-2004, 04:39 PM   #20 (permalink)
MSD
The sky calls to us ...
 
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Super Moderator
Location: CT
... her to give a yelp of surpirse, but pleasure at the same time, revealing her kinky side.
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Old 01-16-2004, 07:42 PM   #21 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: Canada
If she was turned on by food then Im in i thought
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Old 01-16-2004, 07:46 PM   #22 (permalink)
Loves my girl in thongs
 
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Location: North of Mexico, South of Canada
...I pulled the strawberries out of the fridge and slowly walked towards them both with a devilish grin...
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Seen on an employer evaluation:

"The wheel is turning but the hamsters dead"
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Is arch13 really a porn diety ? find out after the film at 11.
-Nanofever
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Old 01-16-2004, 07:47 PM   #23 (permalink)
Unbelievable
 
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Location: Grants Pass OR
As i opened the fridge to retrieve the
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Old 01-17-2004, 04:21 AM   #24 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Ottawa...the greatest city in Canada...down the road from silentjay!
Strawberries and whipcream the doorbell rang..."I'm here to fix your photocopier!" the voice on the other side of the door exclaimed.
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i may or may not be on acid right now....
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Old 01-17-2004, 07:25 AM   #25 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: MA
This was most inriguing because I, in fact, did not own a photocopier.
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You had me at Qapla'
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Old 01-17-2004, 12:37 PM   #26 (permalink)
Apocalypse Nerd
 
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I looked through the peephole, while Amy and Jackie were doing it with the mutated alien pizza in my living room. I saw...
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Old 01-17-2004, 01:45 PM   #27 (permalink)
Devoted
 
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Donor
Location: New England
... a burly guy with a tattoo that read "Bubba & Amy & Jackie Forever".
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Old 01-17-2004, 03:30 PM   #28 (permalink)
Apocalypse Nerd
 
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That's when I noticed that I was a Female 5'10 36D-24-34. "Joe" is my last name.
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Old 01-17-2004, 04:18 PM   #29 (permalink)
Enter Title Here
 
Location: Tennessee
And I ponder if my name can be added to that tattoo?
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Old 01-17-2004, 06:12 PM   #30 (permalink)
Blood + Fire
 
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Location: New Zealand
Suddenly all four windows in my apartment were shattered and female ninjas jumped through.
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Old 01-17-2004, 06:20 PM   #31 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: Canada
luckily my major in collage is ninja defence
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Old 01-17-2004, 07:24 PM   #32 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
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Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
, unluckily though, I slept through a lot of the class because I was exhausted from all of my fuck-sessions with the pizza delivery girl.
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Old 01-17-2004, 08:52 PM   #33 (permalink)
Blood + Fire
 
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Location: New Zealand
Reluctantly I let what must have been the Leader of the Ninja throw me across the room dominantly and whilst I was in the air she threw shurikens at me, fearing for my life I screamed, only to find myself landing on the floor naked, the shurikens ripped my clothes off, this was definately getting interesting!

Last edited by Mr.Deflok; 01-17-2004 at 09:54 PM..
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Old 01-17-2004, 09:37 PM   #34 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Iowa?
But I still managed to take a quick nap before....
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I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.
-The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, T.S. Eliot

Your dumber then me.
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Old 01-17-2004, 09:45 PM   #35 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: wisCONsin
...i looked over to see photocopies of jackie and amys breasts taped all over the apartment......and in the back i heard the faint moans of a happy repair man.....
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Old 01-18-2004, 02:40 AM   #36 (permalink)
Desert Rat
 
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Location: Arizona
. With Jackie and Amy being pummled in my bathroom, I turned to see that the female ninjas had disrobed and were watching porn while eating the mutant pizza. This got me so hot that...
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"This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."
- V
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Old 01-18-2004, 04:09 AM   #37 (permalink)
If you've read this, PM me and say so
 
Location: Sitting on my ass, and you?
I took a shower, because overheating can be fatal. After the shower i noticed the ninjas were watching foxing boxing, this caused me to....
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Old 01-18-2004, 08:08 AM   #38 (permalink)
Desert Rat
 
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Location: Arizona
...to get very aroused. The lead ninja noticed this, gave a devilish smile, and then came over and wrapped her leg around me whilst...
__________________

"This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."
- V
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Old 01-18-2004, 08:30 AM   #39 (permalink)
through charlatans phone
 
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Location: Northcoast
continuing to brew her Earl Grey tea on the stove. I sure know when I read my tea leaves this morning....
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Old 01-18-2004, 09:59 AM   #40 (permalink)
Apocalypse Nerd
 
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The leaves said that I should get my large strap-on dildo out of the closet and...
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