The Art of the Gentle Letdown - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

cchris · 12-22-2003, 03:05 PM

The Art of the Gentle Letdown

From
http://www.happywomanmagazine.com/index.htm

If you're like most modern women, you probably consider yourself beautiful, talented, and unique, especially after you've thrown back a few Xanax-and-gin cocktails. But, in all honesty, you probably know you're not the next serious contender in the Miss Universe (or let's face it -- even the Miss Pork Fest) pageant.

In spite of that, you've most likely at one time or another had to tell some guy that you're not interested, in no uncertain terms. Whether it's Clammy Hands Dave who worked at Fried Steak-on-a-Stick or Skanky Pete who ran the meth lab out of his mom's basement, it's never easy to have to tell a guy "no" -- especially if his proposition for a night of take-out tacos and origami is the only date offer you've had in six months.

And there are some guys that just won't take no for an answer. But if you use our helpful tips below, you won't just have them taking your "no" seriously -- you may have them running from you in cold, sweat-drenched fear. Just remember your audience. Some letdowns could actually have the opposite effect on certain men; to help,I've included suggestions for which letdowns work on which guys.

The letdown: mention a medical condition.

The next time Joe from Accounting mentions an evening of jigsaw puzzles and virgin pina coladas tell him you'd love to, but that's the only evening you can make it downtown to the free VD clinic. If you want to take it a step further to ensure he won't ever speak to you again (let alone ask you out), you could offer to let him go along. Tell him he should really consider arming himself with a large can of pepper spray and under no circumstances should he speak to Twitchy Mabel, the woman who usually sits in the corner reading the upside-down Hepatitis brochure repeatedly muttering how purple chickens ate her Pomeranian.

Most effective on: quiet, straight-laced types (computer programmers, accountants)

Do not try on: anyone who perks up at Genital Herpes medication commercials during the Howard Stern show

The letdown: offer backhanded compliments.

Sure, most people think that men are less concerned about appearances than women are, but if you him down enough, it will emasculate him to the point of losing interest. You don't have to be obviously mean, though; backhanded compliments are just as cutting as outright insults without leaving you with undesirable "guilt" afterwards. Subtle jabs such as, "I've actually lost my sense of smell, so, sure, I'd love to go out with you," "I really admire you; I'd never be able to ignore those rumors," and "lots of women think size matters. Lucky I'm not one of them -- let's have dinner" will do the trick.

Most effective on: men with obviously questionable self-esteem, anyone who still lives with his mother

Do not try on: anyone who owns a Camaro or lives in a trailer

The letdown: bring up his wife.

Not every man considers marital vows binding agreements; many think "forsaking all others till death" is just a general guideline, not something to be strictly interpreted. If your wiles are too much for one of these men and he keeps asking you to model lingerie or duck into the men's room for a "personal tutorial session," a gentle reminder about his committed significant other may be in order. A friendly "I think I saw your wife buying a double-barrel shotgun at Wal-Mart the other day ? how is she, by the way?" should put him in his place.

Most effective on: hands-y bosses, flirty psychiatrists

Do not try on: anyone who has been divorced more than three times

The final straw

Gentle is always best, but sometimes desperate situations require harsh words. That's when you have to break out the heavy artillery, such as "I'm a lesbian," "I'm engaged to a burly ex-con," or "I'd sooner spend an evening with Gilbert Gottfried and an irritated proboscis monkey than have dinner with you."

Just make sure you know your audience ? there's nothing worse than trying to get out of a date and instead find yourself comparing discharge consistency or explaining how you and your girlfriend don't like people to "watch." If reminding him of his wife's military knife collection or his disfiguring glandular problem doesn't discourage your ardent suitor, be strong -- don't succumb to his tenuous charm. Even Miss Pork Fest 2003 should never compromise her standards for free tacos.

12-22-2003, 03:05 PM	#1 (permalink)
cchris Junkie Location: Sydney	The Art of the Gentle Letdown The Art of the Gentle Letdown From http://www.happywomanmagazine.com/index.htm If you're like most modern women, you probably consider yourself beautiful, talented, and unique, especially after you've thrown back a few Xanax-and-gin cocktails. But, in all honesty, you probably know you're not the next serious contender in the Miss Universe (or let's face it -- even the Miss Pork Fest) pageant. In spite of that, you've most likely at one time or another had to tell some guy that you're not interested, in no uncertain terms. Whether it's Clammy Hands Dave who worked at Fried Steak-on-a-Stick or Skanky Pete who ran the meth lab out of his mom's basement, it's never easy to have to tell a guy "no" -- especially if his proposition for a night of take-out tacos and origami is the only date offer you've had in six months. And there are some guys that just won't take no for an answer. But if you use our helpful tips below, you won't just have them taking your "no" seriously -- you may have them running from you in cold, sweat-drenched fear. Just remember your audience. Some letdowns could actually have the opposite effect on certain men; to help,I've included suggestions for which letdowns work on which guys. The letdown: mention a medical condition. The next time Joe from Accounting mentions an evening of jigsaw puzzles and virgin pina coladas tell him you'd love to, but that's the only evening you can make it downtown to the free VD clinic. If you want to take it a step further to ensure he won't ever speak to you again (let alone ask you out), you could offer to let him go along. Tell him he should really consider arming himself with a large can of pepper spray and under no circumstances should he speak to Twitchy Mabel, the woman who usually sits in the corner reading the upside-down Hepatitis brochure repeatedly muttering how purple chickens ate her Pomeranian. Most effective on: quiet, straight-laced types (computer programmers, accountants) Do not try on: anyone who perks up at Genital Herpes medication commercials during the Howard Stern show The letdown: offer backhanded compliments. Sure, most people think that men are less concerned about appearances than women are, but if you him down enough, it will emasculate him to the point of losing interest. You don't have to be obviously mean, though; backhanded compliments are just as cutting as outright insults without leaving you with undesirable "guilt" afterwards. Subtle jabs such as, "I've actually lost my sense of smell, so, sure, I'd love to go out with you," "I really admire you; I'd never be able to ignore those rumors," and "lots of women think size matters. Lucky I'm not one of them -- let's have dinner" will do the trick. Most effective on: men with obviously questionable self-esteem, anyone who still lives with his mother Do not try on: anyone who owns a Camaro or lives in a trailer The letdown: bring up his wife. Not every man considers marital vows binding agreements; many think "forsaking all others till death" is just a general guideline, not something to be strictly interpreted. If your wiles are too much for one of these men and he keeps asking you to model lingerie or duck into the men's room for a "personal tutorial session," a gentle reminder about his committed significant other may be in order. A friendly "I think I saw your wife buying a double-barrel shotgun at Wal-Mart the other day ? how is she, by the way?" should put him in his place. Most effective on: hands-y bosses, flirty psychiatrists Do not try on: anyone who has been divorced more than three times The final straw Gentle is always best, but sometimes desperate situations require harsh words. That's when you have to break out the heavy artillery, such as "I'm a lesbian," "I'm engaged to a burly ex-con," or "I'd sooner spend an evening with Gilbert Gottfried and an irritated proboscis monkey than have dinner with you." Just make sure you know your audience ? there's nothing worse than trying to get out of a date and instead find yourself comparing discharge consistency or explaining how you and your girlfriend don't like people to "watch." If reminding him of his wife's military knife collection or his disfiguring glandular problem doesn't discourage your ardent suitor, be strong -- don't succumb to his tenuous charm. Even Miss Pork Fest 2003 should never compromise her standards for free tacos. __________________ There's a fine line between participation and mockery