my night before christmas
 

twas the night before christmas
and all through the house
every body felt shitty
even the mouse

dad at the whore house
mom smoking crack
i just settled down
for a nice piece of ass

when out on the lawn
i heard such a clatter
i sprang for my piece
to see whats the matter

out on the lawn
i saw a big dick
i knew in a moment
it must be saint nick

he came down the chimmney
like a bat outta hell
i knew in a moment
the fucker had fell

he stuffed the stockings
with pretzles and beer
and a big rubber dick
for my brother the queer

he screamed as he sailed
straight outta sight...

merry cristmas to all
and to all a good night

i actually heard Run DMC sing this at a club back in the day in shreveport at a christmas mix they had ... heh