Run on sentence....... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

SaltPork · 04-28-2003, 07:22 PM

The marketplace in a small southwestern town was overrun by 17 mexican terrorist turned checker players and they challenged the owner of the local sleezy motel to a mad game of checkers which was won by a young boy named Stuart who was forced to swallow 17 full size, live salmon because his middle intial was "L" and no one could guess his middle name which was Langerfidelemponzing which was given to him by his parents who liked to play checkers in very dark rooms while listening to Englebert Humperdinck's greatest hits over and over again as a kind of vigil for the girl who was killed by radiation that was secretly hiding in a Cabbage Patch Kid doll that she had asked for when she saw the commercial for it during the He-man talk show which was cancelled the same week it premiered, bringing tears to the eyes of Geddy Lee who had written a song about Southwestern Australia titled "The Eastern Mediterranean" which debuted at number 40 on Casey Kasem's weekly top 40 causing Casey to quit his job as the top 40 DJ which is a job he held for 39 years unless you count the time he left to visit his mother in Alberta, Canada, which was the birthplace of a very short man named Fred who was voted "Most Likely to do Nothing Important" in his high school yearbook, which was found at the bottom of an abandoned well by a young girl named Rosetta who had been in a plane crash in the Amazon jungle and contracted a very rare jungle disease for which the cure was found by a Swedish doctor vacationing in Puerto Vallarta with his wife Martha who was involved in a Tupperware smuggling scam in the early 1970's where 72 small zip containers were smuggled from the Basque province of Spain and brought to the marketplace.....

TRPF · 04-30-2003, 07:33 PM

At least the writer used capitalization.

More than can be said for some Forum users...

crackpot · 04-30-2003, 07:49 PM

Heh heh. Reminds me of the Bulwer-Lytton contest, where the object is to write the worst possible opening sentence to a fictional novel.
Like this:
The bone-chilling scream split the warm summer night in two, the first half being before the scream when it was fairly balmy and calm and pleasant for those who hadn't heard the scream at all, but not calm or balmy or even very nice for those who did hear the scream, discounting the little period of time during the actual scream itself when your ears might have been hearing it but your brain wasn't reacting yet to let you know.

Or this:
Dolores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever skipping across smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an overdose of fluoride as a child which caused her to lie forever on the floor of her life as useless as an appendix and as lonely as a five-hundred-pound barbell in a steroid-free fitness center.

SaltPork · 04-30-2003, 08:09 PM

those were great....thanks crackpot.

BTW-mine was from a 9th grade assignment to write a run-on sentence....I had it memorized, I can't believe it was still in my head after 18 years.

04-28-2003, 07:22 PM	#1 (permalink)
SaltPork Everything's better with bacon Location: In your local grocer's freezer.	Run on sentence....... The marketplace in a small southwestern town was overrun by 17 mexican terrorist turned checker players and they challenged the owner of the local sleezy motel to a mad game of checkers which was won by a young boy named Stuart who was forced to swallow 17 full size, live salmon because his middle intial was "L" and no one could guess his middle name which was Langerfidelemponzing which was given to him by his parents who liked to play checkers in very dark rooms while listening to Englebert Humperdinck's greatest hits over and over again as a kind of vigil for the girl who was killed by radiation that was secretly hiding in a Cabbage Patch Kid doll that she had asked for when she saw the commercial for it during the He-man talk show which was cancelled the same week it premiered, bringing tears to the eyes of Geddy Lee who had written a song about Southwestern Australia titled "The Eastern Mediterranean" which debuted at number 40 on Casey Kasem's weekly top 40 causing Casey to quit his job as the top 40 DJ which is a job he held for 39 years unless you count the time he left to visit his mother in Alberta, Canada, which was the birthplace of a very short man named Fred who was voted "Most Likely to do Nothing Important" in his high school yearbook, which was found at the bottom of an abandoned well by a young girl named Rosetta who had been in a plane crash in the Amazon jungle and contracted a very rare jungle disease for which the cure was found by a Swedish doctor vacationing in Puerto Vallarta with his wife Martha who was involved in a Tupperware smuggling scam in the early 1970's where 72 small zip containers were smuggled from the Basque province of Spain and brought to the marketplace..... __________________ It was like that when I got here....I swear.

04-30-2003, 08:09 PM	#4 (permalink)
SaltPork Everything's better with bacon Location: In your local grocer's freezer.	those were great....thanks crackpot. BTW-mine was from a 9th grade assignment to write a run-on sentence....I had it memorized, I can't believe it was still in my head after 18 years. __________________ It was like that when I got here....I swear.

04-30-2003, 07:33 PM	#2 (permalink)
TRPF Tilted	At least the writer used capitalization. More than can be said for some Forum users...

04-30-2003, 07:49 PM	#3 (permalink)
crackpot Junkie Location: Montreal	Heh heh. Reminds me of the Bulwer-Lytton contest, where the object is to write the worst possible opening sentence to a fictional novel. Like this: The bone-chilling scream split the warm summer night in two, the first half being before the scream when it was fairly balmy and calm and pleasant for those who hadn't heard the scream at all, but not calm or balmy or even very nice for those who did hear the scream, discounting the little period of time during the actual scream itself when your ears might have been hearing it but your brain wasn't reacting yet to let you know. Or this: Dolores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever skipping across smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an overdose of fluoride as a child which caused her to lie forever on the floor of her life as useless as an appendix and as lonely as a five-hundred-pound barbell in a steroid-free fitness center.