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-   -   Beer makes you smarter. (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-fun-zone/34957-beer-makes-you-smarter.html)

Reese 11-08-2003 03:49 PM

Beer makes you smarter.
 
This goes a long way towards explaining a lot of things: A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

And that's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

TerresqueÜ 11-08-2003 04:16 PM

Hmm, it makes sense. But what happens when all the stupid cells are dead? The smart ones start getting analy molested.

torgone 11-08-2003 04:18 PM

That makes perfect sense!
I'm going to go have a beer right now and thin the herd!
Thanks cybermike!!!

lordjeebus 11-08-2003 04:18 PM

If that was true, wouldn't the effect be permanent?

Beer does not make one smarter.

Good gin, however, will enhance one's intellectual skills.

Stiltzkin 11-08-2003 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TerresqueÜ
Hmm, it makes sense. But what happens when all the stupid cells are dead? The smart ones start getting analy molested.
LOL!!!! :lol: Niiiice. I love subtle humor like this!

:thumbsup:

bernadette 11-08-2003 10:30 PM

wow. your mom just got email?

anyway, hehe i always love this one. each & every single 50 thousand times someone emails it to me.

this is a good one. cheers!

tekaweni 11-09-2003 09:49 AM

It also makes you stronger, braver and a better driver

Fly 11-09-2003 09:54 AM

i should be a fuckin' genius by now then.

spived2 11-09-2003 09:57 AM

Plus it makes women hotter!

Rudel73 11-09-2003 10:40 AM

Thats funny because it actually makes sence if you think about it...lol

Kaos 11-09-2003 11:49 AM

heh, I just re-read that from an e-mail I got like a month ago...still funny :)

wannabenakid247 11-09-2003 11:52 AM

That makes me feel much better about my excessive drinking. Cheers for that.

Reese 11-09-2003 12:32 PM

This same theory also applys to womens looks because it's the weak braincells that obscure all women's beauty. So you don't see what they really look like until you're loaded.

However, Having too many beers will make you a Genius, and we all know genius' border on insanity so make you don't take it too far...

Quick note: I got this in my email from my mom exactly 2 years ago today. I guess it was more popular than I had thought :P

Sapper 11-09-2003 02:07 PM

This is by far the dumbest thing I have heard in a long time. Only a truely stupid person would come up with this notion.

This is like saying .. electronics become better as capacitors and resistors are removed from the circut.

Then again, the people who believe this also believe that we only use 10% of our brain.

News flash ... you use 100% of your brain! And killing off brain cells (ie. neurons) in such regions as the substancia nigra (literally translated to black stuff) and the locus ceorruleus is called Parkinson's disease.

To anybody who thinks that killing off "weak" brain-cells is a good idea: I invite you to open up your computer right now, and make a few random cuts in the motherboard's traces .. see how well that goes over.

Zotz 12-01-2003 07:27 PM

Its an entertaining notion...

Evil Milkman 12-01-2003 07:58 PM

I read that back a while ago, funny thought.

Jonsgirl 12-02-2003 07:51 PM

One of the funniest thing I'd ever heard was an officer sitting outside, studying for his college business class, drinking a beer; he looks up and says "Why is it that book plus no beer equals 2.5 and book plus beer equals 3.8?"

CSflim 12-03-2003 03:25 AM

Sapper relax! Its a joke! You're in the nonsense forum!

taliendo 12-03-2003 03:29 AM

mmmmmmmmm....... BEER!

duckduck 12-04-2003 12:11 AM

Ah, the memories of Cheers.

herostar 12-04-2003 02:20 PM

I knew I wasn't the only one who thought this

etardedraverboy 12-05-2003 11:24 AM

i like that way of thinking lol


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