Conspiracy! Is Giant Hamburger really Mayor McCheese? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Astrocloud · 10-25-2003, 11:44 AM

In a move that can only be described as a "Power Play" -Mayor McCheese was named Secretary of the Interior. There is a resemblance to a certain somebody here. Rather than name names, I'll just beat around the 'bush' and say that the resemblence is uncanny. For convenience sake we will call this Mayor McCheese doppleganger "GH".

Note that GH has stated his intentions for world domination many times. This appointment is only the beginning. (Even if Mayor McCheese isn't GH; it certainly must be one of his agents or even an appetizer of things to come.)

Source: the Wall Street Journal

Quote:

Bush Nominates Mayor McCheese for Secretary of the Interior
By Eben Weiss and Scott Bassett
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a surprise move today, George W. Bush nominated Mayor McCheese for the position of Secretary of the Interior, filling the final cabinet vacancy in his abbreviated transition. The Interior Secretary’s duties range from protection of the nation’s natural resources to administration of national parks. McCheese was an early challenger in Republican primaries, but his candidacy crumbled after a crushing defeat in New Hampshire.
The nomination caught Washington insiders off guard. Up until this week, former Colorado Attorney General Gale Norton was the strong favorite for the position.

Sources close to the President-elect say that Mr. Bush was not merely opposed to Norton’s candidacy, he "threw a fit like a spoiled, rotten brat." Multiple sources maintain that Mr. Bush "kicked and screamed on the floor" and even held his breath until Vice President-elect Dick Cheney allowed Bush to have his way.

Other sources at the transition office said that Mr. Bush was heard shouting "I’m tired of you bossing me around, Mister Cheney! I don’t want that stupid jerk girl! I want Mayor McCheese!"

Attorney General Norton could not be reached for comment.

Mayor McCheese has raised the ire of environmental groups over his views on promoting cheese development on federal lands. McCheese advocates making federal lands accessible to lettuce, special sauce and sesame seed bun interests, and he favors cheese exploration in Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.

"The Nation’s cheese needs are not being fully met. I whole heartedly support the opening of Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge for cheese exploration," said McCheese at a Tuesday press conference. "I would also like to take this opportunity to announce that I will ask Grimace to join me as the Under Secretary," he added, " and I plan to work closely with the Fry Guys on genetically modified potatoes."

McCheese is the Mayor of McDonaldland, a heartland city of primarily Scotch-Irish descendents. The "lily white" character of the city has caused some trepidations with minorities. Mayor McCheese was also questioned in 1998 by a grand jury in connection with an investigation of the Hamburglar, but was not indicted. He is likely to face tough questions on these issues in his confirmation hearing. He is, however, likely to be confirmed.

Giant Hamburger · 10-25-2003, 12:26 PM

Hail Citizens!

My agents are everywhere. You have seen them on the billboards you drive by, the television commercials you try to ignore, and the magazines you pretend to read. You have eaten them without a second thought. Hamburgers are all pervasive in modern society. My network is vast and intricate. It is woven into the fabric of the human tapestry. When the time comes there will be no escape from the Illuminati of The Giant Hamburger. Are you friend or foe?
-GH

Fly · 10-25-2003, 01:09 PM

friend but........

well are you him or not?

Latch · 10-25-2003, 04:26 PM

And there was that one night where a drunken Ronald tried to.. well.. I'll let him tell it.

Giant Hamburger · 10-25-2003, 04:41 PM

Just for the record,

Mayor McCheese is a tired pawn in a game

that has very nearly passed him by.

Soon, I will fill him full of explosives and send him to his final destination.
The swan song of the Mayor will be quite noisome.
-GH

I’ll save the tale of Ronald’s drunken excesses for another thread.

bundy · 10-25-2003, 04:48 PM

i wonder if George W Bush will pardon Hamburglar any time soon?
i heard he was in Joliet... serving 10-15 for grand theft bbq...

**edit - sorry Bones, i corrected my mistake.

Giant Hamburger · 10-25-2003, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bones
gh fondles fryguys

Sometimes it's good to be the Giant Hamburger.

Astrocloud · 10-25-2003, 06:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Giant Hamburger
Just for the record,

Mayor McCheese is a tired pawn in a game that has very nearly passed him by.

Soon, I will fill him full of explosives and send him to his final destination.
The swan song of the Mayor will be quite noisome.
-GH

I’ll save the tale of Ronald’s drunken excesses for another thread.

Just another pawn in your game -Eh Mr. Hamburger? Some are not so lucky like this "Deleted Scene" from a well known movie.

Fremen · 10-25-2003, 07:58 PM

GH took to the road recently in search of Bones and his pogo stick.
Here's a GH sighting in Chicago.

Unless they reveal the particulars of the meeting, we must assume Bones is still a little sore in the assimus holemus regionus.

A man should know and understand his past.

Giant Hamburger, is that your Grandfather?

If so, I can see where you get your largeness from.

Btw, what kind of grill pattern do you prefer?

bernadette · 10-25-2003, 10:24 PM

GH? is this friend, foe or family?

<img src="http://www.princeton.edu/~puband/photos/white-castle-99.jpg">

Elegant Holmes · 10-27-2003, 08:37 AM

Scientists would have you believe that the minions of GH congregate in your colon and sit quietly until you die. I have injested many of these hoardes and I believe they may be altering my DNA.
Yesterday I created a radioactive hamburger in my laboratory. I was forced to destroy it, as the results of digestion were simply too unpredictable.

flecktone4 · 10-27-2003, 06:59 PM

where's the beef?

Giant Hamburger · 10-27-2003, 08:50 PM

What's beef?
Beef is when you need two gats to go to sleep
Beef is when your moms ain't safe up in the streets
Beef is when I see you
Guaranteed to be an ICU, one more time
What's beef?
Beef is when you make your enemies start your Jeep
Beef is when you roll no less than thirty deep
Beef is when I see you
Guaranteed to be an ICU, check it.
-B.I.G.

krwlz · 10-27-2003, 09:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Giant Hamburger
Sometimes it's good to be the Giant Hamburger.

That cracked me up big time man! Simply awesome.

Astrocloud · 10-27-2003, 10:29 PM

So I see that you tried to kill me GH. You sent an assassin -one of your agents to try to kill me. I'll have you know that my loyal hound dog saved my life by eating your little friend. Nevertheless, I see this as failure because I didn't eat him myself.

Next time, come do the job yourself.

Elegant Holmes · 10-30-2003, 08:07 AM

I for one would like to welcome our tastey overlords and remind them that I am available to be the King of Humans, so they might move on to other planets.

Giant Hamburger · 10-30-2003, 08:57 AM

Hail Elegant Holmes!

I will appoint you the Mouth of Giant Hamburger when I am off conquering other planets. Your only responsibility is to judiciously apply my yoke of oppression whenever the apes start to show signs of intelligent cooperation and social consciousness. The job should be quite easy and require no effort at all. You will be paid deliciously.
-GH

10-25-2003, 01:09 PM	#3 (permalink)
Fly see the links to my music? Location: Beautiful British Columbia	friend but........ well are you him or not? __________________ BASTARD SterlingStudios

10-25-2003, 04:48 PM	#6 (permalink)
bundy . Location: Tokyo	i wonder if George W Bush will pardon Hamburglar any time soon? i heard he was in Joliet... serving 10-15 for grand theft bbq... edit - sorry Bones, i corrected my mistake. __________________ Ohayo!!!** Last edited by bundy; 10-25-2003 at 05:17 PM..

10-25-2003, 07:58 PM	#9 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	GH took to the road recently in search of Bones and his pogo stick. Here's a GH sighting in Chicago. Unless they reveal the particulars of the meeting, we must assume Bones is still a little sore in the assimus holemus regionus. A man should know and understand his past. Giant Hamburger, is that your Grandfather? If so, I can see where you get your largeness from. Btw, what kind of grill pattern do you prefer? __________________ Google

10-25-2003, 10:24 PM	#10 (permalink)
bernadette ::::::::::::::::::::::::: :. Location: this ain't kansas, toto	GH? is this friend, foe or family? <img src="http://www.princeton.edu/~puband/photos/white-castle-99.jpg"> __________________ .:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

10-25-2003, 12:26 PM	#2 (permalink)
Giant Hamburger Gastrolithuanian Location: low-velocity Earth orbit	Hail Citizens! My agents are everywhere. You have seen them on the billboards you drive by, the television commercials you try to ignore, and the magazines you pretend to read. You have eaten them without a second thought. Hamburgers are all pervasive in modern society. My network is vast and intricate. It is woven into the fabric of the human tapestry. When the time comes there will be no escape from the Illuminati of The Giant Hamburger. Are you friend or foe? -GH

10-25-2003, 04:26 PM	#4 (permalink)
Latch In Your Dreams Location: City of Lights	And there was that one night where a drunken Ronald tried to.. well.. I'll let him tell it.

10-25-2003, 04:41 PM	#5 (permalink)
Giant Hamburger Gastrolithuanian Location: low-velocity Earth orbit	Just for the record, Mayor McCheese is a tired pawn in a game that has very nearly passed him by. Soon, I will fill him full of explosives and send him to his final destination. The swan song of the Mayor will be quite noisome. -GH I’ll save the tale of Ronald’s drunken excesses for another thread.

10-27-2003, 08:37 AM	#11 (permalink)
Elegant Holmes Crazy Location: "TX"	Scientists would have you believe that the minions of GH congregate in your colon and sit quietly until you die. I have injested many of these hoardes and I believe they may be altering my DNA. Yesterday I created a radioactive hamburger in my laboratory. I was forced to destroy it, as the results of digestion were simply too unpredictable.

10-27-2003, 06:59 PM	#12 (permalink)
flecktone4 Tilted	where's the beef?

10-27-2003, 08:50 PM	#13 (permalink)
Giant Hamburger Gastrolithuanian Location: low-velocity Earth orbit	What's beef? Beef is when you need two gats to go to sleep Beef is when your moms ain't safe up in the streets Beef is when I see you Guaranteed to be an ICU, one more time What's beef? Beef is when you make your enemies start your Jeep Beef is when you roll no less than thirty deep Beef is when I see you Guaranteed to be an ICU, check it. -B.I.G.

10-27-2003, 10:29 PM	#15 (permalink)
Astrocloud Apocalypse Nerd	So I see that you tried to kill me GH. You sent an assassin -one of your agents to try to kill me. I'll have you know that my loyal hound dog saved my life by eating your little friend. Nevertheless, I see this as failure because I didn't eat him myself. Next time, come do the job yourself.

10-30-2003, 08:07 AM	#16 (permalink)
Elegant Holmes Crazy Location: "TX"	I for one would like to welcome our tastey overlords and remind them that I am available to be the King of Humans, so they might move on to other planets.

10-30-2003, 08:57 AM	#17 (permalink)
Giant Hamburger Gastrolithuanian Location: low-velocity Earth orbit	Hail Elegant Holmes! I will appoint you the Mouth of Giant Hamburger when I am off conquering other planets. Your only responsibility is to judiciously apply my yoke of oppression whenever the apes start to show signs of intelligent cooperation and social consciousness. The job should be quite easy and require no effort at all. You will be paid deliciously. -GH