![]() |
![]() |
#2 (permalink) |
comfortably numb...
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
|
"just keep wiggling your finger in my ass, honey..."
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it. |
![]() |
![]() |
#8 (permalink) |
Jesus Freak
Location: Following the light...
|
This reminds me of a joke. I will modify it slightly so that this guy is in it.
This guy, and three others are up in an atic. They take a bet to see who has the largets penis. The first guy whips his out and has a good sized one at 12 inches. The second guy whips his out and it streatches to the floor. The third guy pulls his out and it hangs out the atic window. This guy pulls his out and it streatches across the street into the neighbor's yard. Immediatley the other three start laughing. "What?" this guy asks. The others answer, "That guy is mowing his lawn."
__________________
"People say I'm strange, does that make me a stranger?" |
![]() |
![]() |
#12 (permalink) |
Insane
Location: slippery rock university AKA: The left ass cheek of the world
|
Say hello to my little friend!!
__________________
WHAT MORE CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR IF NOT FOR THE CARE OF THE REAPER MAN? ------------------------------------- I like you. When the world is mine your death will be quick and painless. |
![]() |
![]() |
#13 (permalink) |
Crazy
Location: Portland Or
|
This is funny crackpot.
SWM, 33, balding, 5'8'', good swimmer, financially secure, seeks female blue whale for conversation, dancing, long swims near the beach. Must be tolerant of interspecies copulation.
__________________
Looking for that perfect loin ornament. |
![]() |
![]() |
#15 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: Hiding from the penguins they come to take my sanity away!
|
must have been hell going to the black board in high school.
brings a all new meaning to "hide the salami".
__________________
"enjoy life to the brim but do not spill it" quoted off my tatoo "Iam myself every day." |
![]() |
![]() |
#18 (permalink) | |
Upright
Location: US
|
Quote:
"A man was killed after being smashed headfirst into the floor. The family is suing the makers of Viagra..."
__________________
"I may be newb, but at least i'm not stupid O.o" |
|
![]() |
![]() |
#19 (permalink) | |
Junkie
Location: Sydney
|
Quote:
Funny stuff.
__________________
There's a fine line between participation and mockery |
|
![]() |
![]() |
#21 (permalink) | |
The Cover Doesn't Match The Book
Location: in a van down by the river
|
Quote:
"there once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could suck it...... He said with grin as he wiped off his chin, if my ear was a cunt I would fuck it!" ![]()
__________________
SWM, tattooed, seeks meaningful tits and beer. Enjoys biker mags, pornography, and Sunday morning walks to the liquor store. Winners of erotic hot dog eating contests given priority. |
|
![]() |
![]() |
#23 (permalink) | |
Upright
Location: US
|
Quote:
__________________
"I may be newb, but at least i'm not stupid O.o" |
|
![]() |
![]() |
#26 (permalink) |
I aim to misbehave!
Location: SW Oklahoma
|
Little Timmy has a problem, won't you help?
Timmy has never had sex. Professionals have quoted $10,000 for their services. Contribute today to the "Timmy Sexual Relief Fund". You'll be glad you did.
__________________
Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American G. I. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom |
![]() |
![]() |
#27 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: courtin in the kitchen
|
The next morning. . .
"Cause of death?" "Massive excessive ejaculation" "How many dead?" "3, the man died to lack of blood flow to the hear and brain, the woman unfortunatley was on the recieving end, you can see the exit wound on the back of the skull." "And the third?" "A real tragedy sir, apparently the man in the next apartment was just watching TV when he was hit."
__________________
The Kender in your party has just screamed in fear. Please roll a d20 to see how many of your body parts are still identifiable. |
![]() |
![]() |
#29 (permalink) |
Getting it.
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
|
Yes, Jim has a big dick. Unfortunately there were tragic side effects to his humongous condition.
At the age of 15, when puberty finally hit, Jim finally got his first erection. The first erection of his newly well-hung manhood. As the blood rushed to fill his swelling erection, it quickly exited the rest of his body. Luckily he was found by a passing nurse who understood what was happening. She initiated a manual release for the convulsing Jim. The manouver, and subsequent release, allowed the blood to rush back into his body. While he survived, Jim was left a mental idiot due to the sustained blood loss to his cerebral cortex. Poor Jim!
__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke |
![]() |
![]() |
#32 (permalink) |
Pro Libertate
Location: City Gecko
|
Have you ever tried to get a made to measure suit?
"Uh, sir, on which side do you dress?" "Well.... try the shoulder for a start!"
__________________
[color=bright blue]W[/color]e Stick To Glass "If three of us travel together, I shall find two teachers." Confucious |
![]() |
![]() |
#33 (permalink) |
zomgomgomgomgomgomg
Location: Fauxenix, Azerona
|
OK, I was searching, and accidently found this, and thought it needed to be Bumped.
hehe...cockscorpion... ROFL, My roommate just asked if he can do the Mortal Kombat Scorpion's spear move? GET OVER HERE!
__________________
twisted no more Last edited by telekinetic; 04-28-2004 at 09:56 PM.. |
![]() |
![]() |
#36 (permalink) |
Tilted
Location: The Great White North
|
OK, this pic and this thread reminded me of a great series of jokes written by Drew Carey in his "Dirty Jokes and Beer" book. He's got a whole chapter called 101 Big-Dick Jokes basically comprised of ones that he and his buddies come up with - all follow the pattern "My dick is so big that....." (Similar to the "Yo mamma's so fat..." jokes). But it also sounds like a good idea for a humour thread so I'm going to post it over there and get others to join in. Go there if you want to participate or read them. Samples:
My dick is so big, there's still snow on it in the summertime. My dick is so big, ships use it to find their way into the harbour. and so on.... |
![]() |
![]() |
#37 (permalink) |
Misanthropic
Location: Ohio! yay!
|
"Now that I have the biggest dick on the planet, what shall I do next... I know! I'll start the best damn message board ever!
mu-hahahahahaha!"
__________________
Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex. ~Halx |
![]() |
![]() |
#39 (permalink) |
Addict
Location: P-Town, WA
|
When I get an erection it drains the blood out of YOUR head!
__________________
Old signature just wasn't doing it for me anymore, so now I have this new one. It's equally as stupid but at least it looks really long. I'm probably just going to keep typing until I run out of things to babble about and see how many people actually read this. I once ran down a hill, fell down and hurt my elbow; my mom said I would be ok, she kissed it and made it all better. I've run out of things to say now, so if you have read this whole thing, congratulations you get a gold star! |
![]() |
Tags |
caption, explicit, funny, neededwarning, photo, sexually |
|
|