*JUST* the punchlines - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

scansinboy · 08-29-2003, 04:22 PM

Here's an different concept...
Instead of the jokes, just post the punchline(s) from your favorite joke(s), and ONLY the punchline.

then discuss, or whatever. Hey I'll start this wacky little experiment off with a few:

"It don't matter, it's just gonna be the two of us."

"How many times do I have to tell you? No, No, No!"

"and he's the fucker who ran over my frog."

and who could forget,

"Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!!"

PayUp · 08-29-2003, 04:54 PM

...personally i use the spoon

Happyland · 08-29-2003, 09:20 PM

how familar these all are. . . ahhhhhh

IF IT WAS UP YOUR ASS YOU WOULD KNOW

Mr. Moe · 08-29-2003, 09:30 PM

..hold on, i'm getting a fax

Root_Beer_Man · 08-29-2003, 10:27 PM

"...Ouch"

get it? huh? oh nevermind...

neddy65 · 08-30-2003, 06:41 AM

Then he said "you brought her, you poke her"

they are both fun to ride until your friends see you!

just then the little fellow jumped out and yelled "SUPLIES"!

ssander9 · 08-30-2003, 11:01 AM

I want a duck, a well fucked duck! Make sure it's fucked, fuck it yourself!

laxative · 08-30-2003, 11:17 AM

I was just kidding around lady. It was already dead.

Fly · 08-30-2003, 12:41 PM

R-U-N,R-U-N,R-U-N.

*LOVE THAT ONE*

Four Fingers · 08-30-2003, 02:01 PM

"Bill Cosby. See you on Tuesday."

krwlz · 08-30-2003, 02:43 PM

Cuz mad cow disease was already taken!

tropicdiver · 08-30-2003, 04:36 PM

The doctor thinks for a second. "So," he says, "are we going to tell your husband or what?"

Xell101 · 08-30-2003, 05:22 PM

I swear to god, I didn't know she was three!

What do I care I'm a helicopter?

Hard8s · 08-30-2003, 05:48 PM

Zebra........With a dick this big!!!! (Holding hands all the way apart)

vermin · 08-30-2003, 06:50 PM

You give it a badge and a Wisconsin State Patrol uniform.

All of them!

Two in the front, two in the back, and six million in the ashtray.

hotzot · 08-30-2003, 07:39 PM

Rectum?!? Damn near killed em!

hotzot · 08-30-2003, 07:40 PM

Same punch line different joke.

glophead · 08-30-2003, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by hotzot
Same punch line different joke.

sure it was....

And then he saw her glass eye on the table

grumpyolddude · 08-30-2003, 09:30 PM

"That's gonna cost you double." (ask bones)

Ogre840 · 08-30-2003, 10:56 PM

14 inches, 7lbs, 4oz!

Quietus · 08-31-2003, 12:38 AM

"Frank! Get a bucket, the dead one's full again!"

danieltiger · 08-31-2003, 04:43 AM

this weekend i read winnie the shit!

woOOooooOOOo

scansinboy · 09-08-2003, 11:30 PM

So HERE this thread is! I was wondering what became of it. I just assumed that it had been deleted off of the humor forum and gone forever. Great to see it alive and kicking.

"I got a fuck for a buck, a duck for a fuck, and fifty bucks for a fucked up duck."

bulakbol master · 09-09-2003, 03:38 AM

"Nice tits, lady. Where do you want the blinds?"

baaa · 09-09-2003, 04:38 AM

FUCK YOU CLOWN!!!

fhqwhgads · 09-09-2003, 07:01 AM

"You're sitting on my mop bucket."

"Well at least I don't have cancer..."

"Because they couldn't find three wisemen and a virgin."

bulakbol master · 09-09-2003, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by baaa
FUCK YOU CLOWN!!!

do you have the link to that joke?? i can't find it anywhere!

JazzmanAl · 09-09-2003, 11:27 AM

"A stick."
"Alright, Dad! Pass the fuckin' potatoes!"
"So I fucked her three times and punched her in the face."

fhqwhgads · 09-09-2003, 06:40 PM

"Half a cat."

"You can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios"

"Because they taste funny."

"Kermit the Frog's undivided attention"

vermin · 09-09-2003, 07:03 PM

"In ten minutes, after your mother leaves for work."

"I'd rather have a puppy"

"After another week, the guys are so ashamed, they dig her up again!"

hfw01 · 09-10-2003, 05:45 AM

"Well that answers that question"

drewg · 09-10-2003, 07:13 AM

"And you still believe Santa Claus?"

Midlandmadman · 09-10-2003, 07:18 AM

Now the last one will be hard, He is on a snowtire somewhere in Minnesota.

warrrreagl · 09-10-2003, 07:27 AM

I said "sprocket," not "socket."

johnnymysto · 09-10-2003, 07:38 AM

Warrrreagl, that's awesome! You've got me rolling over here!

"Nothing - you already told her twice!"

prosequence · 09-10-2003, 11:25 AM

"Does it come in Black?"

"Pedophile!? That's a pretty big word for an 8 year old."

"I remember you!"

"the BRICK!"

"I'm a-frayed not."

Nikilidstrom · 09-10-2003, 11:56 AM

"You can keep your daughter, I'll take the cow."

"You didn't really think I wished for a 12 inch Pianist, did you?"

"You're right, it's not very long, but it sure is wide!"

and a classic from childhood

"I'm not washing my mouth out after she sticks her ass in there!"

YourNeverThere · 09-10-2003, 01:42 PM

I once ran over a kid and didn't tell anyone!!!!!!

Batman976 · 09-10-2003, 03:16 PM

My favorites that I recognize in this thread so far:

"I was just kidding around lady. It was already dead."
"FUCK YOU CLOWN!!!"
and
"Pedophile!? That's a pretty big word for an 8 year old."

Only for the last one in the version I heard the big word was "Impenetrable"

scansinboy · 09-10-2003, 04:48 PM

Can someone write/post the "Fuck you Clown!" and "The Brick" joke in the humor forum, I had forgotton all about those.

"Antique Farm Equipment."

"Not being a Retard!"

08-29-2003, 04:22 PM	#1 (permalink)
scansinboy Insane Location: Milwaukee	JUST the punchlines Here's an different concept... Instead of the jokes, just post the punchline(s) from your favorite joke(s), and ONLY the punchline. then discuss, or whatever. Hey I'll start this wacky little experiment off with a few: "It don't matter, it's just gonna be the two of us." "How many times do I have to tell you? No, No, No!" "and he's the fucker who ran over my frog." and who could forget, "Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!!" __________________ Don't blame me... I voted for Kodos!

08-29-2003, 04:54 PM	#2 (permalink)
PayUp DILLIGAF Location: AZ	...personally i use the spoon __________________ Born to Lose.

08-29-2003, 09:20 PM	#3 (permalink)
Happyland Insane Location: where happiness lives	how familar these all are. . . ahhhhhh IF IT WAS UP YOUR ASS YOU WOULD KNOW __________________ someone else here must like Walton & Johnson too

08-29-2003, 10:27 PM	#5 (permalink)
Root_Beer_Man Crazy	"...Ouch" get it? huh? oh nevermind... __________________ >3 Cheers for boobies!!<

08-30-2003, 06:41 AM	#6 (permalink)
neddy65 Loves green eggs and ham Location: I'm just sittin' here watching the world go round and round	Then he said "you brought her, you poke her" they are both fun to ride until your friends see you! just then the little fellow jumped out and yelled "SUPLIES"! __________________ If you're travelling at the speed of light, and you turn the headlights on, do they do anything? My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die! Drink Dickens' Hard Cider because nothing makes a girl smile like a Hard DIckens' Cider!

08-29-2003, 09:30 PM	#4 (permalink)
Mr. Moe Loser Location: Oakville, Ontario	..hold on, i'm getting a fax

08-30-2003, 11:01 AM	#7 (permalink)
ssander9 Amplitude Modulator Location: US	I want a duck, a well fucked duck! Make sure it's fucked, fuck it yourself! __________________ I never said you had to. Last edited by ssander9; 08-30-2003 at 11:22 AM..

08-30-2003, 11:17 AM	#8 (permalink)
laxative Loser Location: the bathroom	I was just kidding around lady. It was already dead.

08-30-2003, 12:41 PM	#9 (permalink)
Fly see the links to my music? Location: Beautiful British Columbia	R-U-N,R-U-N,R-U-N. LOVE THAT ONE __________________ BASTARD SterlingStudios

08-30-2003, 02:01 PM	#10 (permalink)
Four Fingers Crazy	"Bill Cosby. See you on Tuesday." __________________ "Always do right - this will gratify some and astonish the rest."

08-30-2003, 02:43 PM	#11 (permalink)
krwlz Fledgling Dead Head Location: Clarkson U.	Cuz mad cow disease was already taken!

08-30-2003, 04:36 PM	#12 (permalink)
tropicdiver Amazed Location: Austin, Texas	The doctor thinks for a second. "So," he says, "are we going to tell your husband or what?" __________________ Bob Life is short. Break some rules.

08-30-2003, 05:22 PM	#13 (permalink)
Xell101 Junkie	I swear to god, I didn't know she was three! What do I care I'm a helicopter?

08-30-2003, 05:48 PM	#14 (permalink)
Hard8s Addict Location: Wherever I am!	Zebra........With a dick this big!!!! (Holding hands all the way apart) __________________ If ignorance is bliss, then wipe this smile off my face!

08-30-2003, 06:50 PM	#15 (permalink)
vermin Indifferent to anti-matter Location: Tucson, AZ	You give it a badge and a Wisconsin State Patrol uniform. All of them! Two in the front, two in the back, and six million in the ashtray. __________________ If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

08-30-2003, 09:30 PM	#19 (permalink)
grumpyolddude Deliberately unfocused Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby	"That's gonna cost you double." (ask bones) __________________ "Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

08-31-2003, 12:38 AM	#21 (permalink)
Quietus Tilted Location: Tempe, AZ	"Frank! Get a bucket, the dead one's full again!" __________________ "And I think it’s gonna be a long long time 'Till touchdown brings me 'round again to find I’m not the man they think I am at home Oh, no, no, no, I’m a rocket man, Rocket man, burning out his fuse up here alone..."

08-31-2003, 04:43 AM	#22 (permalink)
danieltiger Upright Location: boston, MA	this weekend i read winnie the shit! woOOooooOOOo __________________ sometimes even the president of the united states has to stand naked

09-09-2003, 03:38 AM	#24 (permalink)
bulakbol master Upright Location: Philippines	"Nice tits, lady. Where do you want the blinds?" __________________ "There is a theory that says whenever somebody figures out exactly what the universe is and why it is here, it will immediately vanish and be replaced by something even more unexplainable and bizarre. There is another theory that says this has already happened." -Douglas Adams

08-30-2003, 07:39 PM	#16 (permalink)
hotzot We're having potato pancakes! Location: stalag 13	Rectum?!? Damn near killed em! __________________ The Bully Boys are here!

08-30-2003, 07:40 PM	#17 (permalink)
hotzot We're having potato pancakes! Location: stalag 13	Same punch line different joke. __________________ The Bully Boys are here!

08-30-2003, 10:56 PM	#20 (permalink)
Ogre840 Banned Location: OlyWa	14 inches, 7lbs, 4oz!

09-08-2003, 11:30 PM	#23 (permalink)
scansinboy Insane Location: Milwaukee	So HERE this thread is! I was wondering what became of it. I just assumed that it had been deleted off of the humor forum and gone forever. Great to see it alive and kicking. "I got a fuck for a buck, a duck for a fuck, and fifty bucks for a fucked up duck." __________________ Don't blame me... I voted for Kodos!

09-09-2003, 04:38 AM	#25 (permalink)
baaa Banned Location: ville	FUCK YOU CLOWN!!!

09-09-2003, 07:01 AM	#26 (permalink)
fhqwhgads Junkie	"You're sitting on my mop bucket." "Well at least I don't have cancer..." "Because they couldn't find three wisemen and a virgin."

09-09-2003, 11:27 AM	#28 (permalink)
JazzmanAl Crazy Location: Iowa?	"A stick." "Alright, Dad! Pass the fuckin' potatoes!" "So I fucked her three times and punched her in the face." __________________ I should have been a pair of ragged claws Scuttling across the floors of silent seas. -The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, T.S. Eliot Your dumber then me.

09-09-2003, 06:40 PM	#29 (permalink)
fhqwhgads Junkie	"Half a cat." "You can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios" "Because they taste funny." "Kermit the Frog's undivided attention"

09-09-2003, 07:03 PM	#30 (permalink)
vermin Indifferent to anti-matter Location: Tucson, AZ	"In ten minutes, after your mother leaves for work." "I'd rather have a puppy" "After another week, the guys are so ashamed, they dig her up again!" __________________ If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

09-10-2003, 05:45 AM	#31 (permalink)
hfw01 Tilted Location: Mandeville, LA	"Well that answers that question"

09-10-2003, 07:13 AM	#32 (permalink)
drewg Crazy Location: Norway	"And you still believe Santa Claus?"

09-10-2003, 07:18 AM	#33 (permalink)
Midlandmadman Redwing fan extraordinaire Location: Michigan	Now the last one will be hard, He is on a snowtire somewhere in Minnesota. __________________ Its good to be back.

09-10-2003, 07:27 AM	#34 (permalink)
warrrreagl pinche vato Location: backwater, Third World, land of cotton	I said "sprocket," not "socket." __________________ Living is easy with eyes closed.

09-10-2003, 07:38 AM	#35 (permalink)
johnnymysto Overreactor Location: South Ca'lina	Warrrreagl, that's awesome! You've got me rolling over here! "Nothing - you already told her twice!" __________________ "I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request." - Capt. Barbossa

09-10-2003, 11:25 AM	#36 (permalink)
prosequence Psycho Location: YOUR MOM!!	"Does it come in Black?" "Pedophile!? That's a pretty big word for an 8 year old." "I remember you!" "the BRICK!" "I'm a-frayed not." __________________ And now here I stand because of you, Mister Anderson, because of you I'm no longer an agent of the system, because of you I've changed...

09-10-2003, 11:56 AM	#37 (permalink)
Nikilidstrom Stick it in your five hole! Location: Michigan, USA	"You can keep your daughter, I'll take the cow." "You didn't really think I wished for a 12 inch Pianist, did you?" "You're right, it's not very long, but it sure is wide!" and a classic from childhood "I'm not washing my mouth out after she sticks her ass in there!" Last edited by Nikilidstrom; 09-10-2003 at 11:59 AM..

09-10-2003, 01:42 PM	#38 (permalink)
YourNeverThere Practical Anarchist Location: Yesterday i woke up stuck in hollywood	I once ran over a kid and didn't tell anyone!!!!!! __________________ The Above post is a direct quote from Shakespeare

09-10-2003, 03:16 PM	#39 (permalink)
Batman976 is you wicked? Location: I live in a giant bucket.	My favorites that I recognize in this thread so far: "I was just kidding around lady. It was already dead." "FUCK YOU CLOWN!!!" and "Pedophile!? That's a pretty big word for an 8 year old." Only for the last one in the version I heard the big word was "Impenetrable"

09-10-2003, 04:48 PM	#40 (permalink)
scansinboy Insane Location: Milwaukee	Can someone write/post the "Fuck you Clown!" and "The Brick" joke in the humor forum, I had forgotton all about those. "Antique Farm Equipment." "Not being a Retard!" __________________ Don't blame me... I voted for Kodos!