hehe... almost forgot...

" if it wasn't for me, you would have missed her!"

... the third one ducked.

breaking the rules, but must reveal this one....

A doctor is delivering a baby, and after hours and hours of grueling labour, it finally comes out. THe doctor picks it up, looks at it closely, then turns, holds the baby up, and spikes it into the garbage can. THe woman is freaking out immediately, while the doctor starts kicking the baby around the room. She screams "WHAT IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU DOING TO MY BABY?!?!?!?!?"

>>>>>> insert punchline from above.

Quite possibly the most offensive joke I've ever heard/told ;)

"I thought you said, 'Turn around.'"

"Wait a minute... is this 535-5734?"

"It's a trap... there's two of them!"

-Mikey

From my deleted Joke of the day post,

"What's an Arab?"

A clitortoise!

Cancel my hot dog.

It's raining so hard, the birds are building their nests upside down.

Not anymore, it makes my pussy sore.

and dad is out in the barn fucking the cows.

Meat don't fart when you take it out of a deep freeze.

A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

/going to hell