Things you never knew existed..... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

cchris · 08-09-2003, 07:39 PM

And probably wont waste hard earned cash on.

From the "Things you never knew existed" website.

There are some weird products out there,and something for nearly every occasion too.
(And yes,I had too much time and was bored today).

Surfer Wig
Change your image instantly. Sun-bleached locks slip over your hair for totally awesome effect. Look the part, even if you've never seen the ocean! One size fits most.

Also comes in black.

Electronic Deer And Animal Alert

There are few things as dangerous while driving as an animal darting in front of your car. Deer Alert is an electronic animal-warning system that emits both audible and ultrasonic sound to alert a wide range of animals of your approaching vehicle from up to 1,500 feet away. (Must not be used for Evil).
Ie:Aiming at said animals.

Tactical Street Survival Video Set

Here's the story: Larry cruised around the country proving how easily a small guy can devastate larger, more skilled opponents. Anywhere, anytime, against anyone.
FREE Bonus tape: How To Fight And Win Against Multiple Attackers (30 min.).

Micro Bank
You say you don't have enough room in your ordinary piggy bank for all your change? You will with the incredible Micro Bank. Just drop your coins through the top slot. They fall through the magic shrinking funnel and end up in the money box below -- shrunk to half their original size! You'll love watching your money shrink as your fortune grows. Drawer on bottom opens to retrieve your coins. 4.25" tall. (Obviously made for those of us that don't like saving money very much)

Psych You Out Book.
Don't just stand there & take it. Learn how to handle people who are always trying to psych you out & put you down. Psychological self-defense for handling arguments, showdowns & ambushes without losing your dignity or your cool. Proven tricks to avoid being a doormat or resorting to violence no matter what the situation or who it is. 188 pages.
(A riviting read no doubt).

Comes with bonus book (Power Talk Manual Power Conversation).
Verbal rocket fuel that puts you in control of any social or business situation. 100's of real world examples.

Cage Fighting Secrets Video.
Best part: You can learn it almost overnight, even if you're out of shape & have no previous fighting skills at all...guaranteed!
(Surprisingly this item is out of stock).

Car Emergency Tool.
These four tools can literally mean the difference between life and death when you're strapped in a wrecked vehicle. Specially-designed hammer with heavy conical steel point shatters the window when doors can't open. Retractable razor-sharp blade slices through the webbing of jammed or broken seat belts. Ultra-bright flashlight illuminates your surroundings anytime you need it. Digital tire gauge displays your tire pressure so you can always keep your tires properly inflated.
(Before or after your crash)?

Israeli Commando Video Set.
So new and effective, this "first peek" at "hidden" Israeli combat secrets is sending shockwaves through the martial arts world! Some martial arts "experts" have never been within miles of a life-and-death situation. Well, we have a guy who, for several years straight, saw combat-ready action EVERY DAY. His name is Nir Maman (pronounced "Near"). He's a former Israeli Special Forces commando and top hand-to-hand combat instructor. In the late 90s his unit roamed deep into enemy territory, fighting terrorists.

Remote Control Fart Machine.
High tech, state-of-the-art electronic replacements for the inflatable rubber whoopee cushion. The greatest new funmakers to come along in decades! Unlimited uproarious uses: inside the turkey on Thanksgiving; under the covers while you pretend to sleep; hand it to a friend in a crowded elevator; under the first row at a wedding; in the check out line at the supermarket; under a seat at the movies for an especially poignant moment; many others we're sure you can think of! The WIRELESS Remote Control Fart Machine is easily concealed under chair, table, couch, curtains, virtually anywhere. Then control it up to 100 feet away with your miniature transmitter. Just push the transmitter button anytime you want to deliver the most embarrassingly realistic sound that flatulence can produce.

Billy Bob Teeth
Bored with your social life? Maybe these teeth can get you in with the alien abductee crowd! Most realistic, Hollywood-caliber artificial teeth available.

Wind Breaking CD.
First International Wind-Breaking Contest World Famous Lost Recording. About 40 years ago some zany radio personalities recorded the First International Crepitation (loud body function) Contest. Never released to the mass market because of its (gaseous) content, the recording has survived because it's just too funny to "waft" away.

And finally.
Just the thing for your next party.
Deluxe Afro Wig

Be the grooviest flower child on Mother Earth, complete your happenin' Hippie costume (item 20295,sold separately) with an Afro wig one-size-fits-all. See Halloween return policy on the Customer Service Page. Peace, bro!

sadistikdreams · 08-09-2003, 07:58 PM

i actually knew some of these things exist.

RoadRage · 08-09-2003, 08:27 PM

All are available through Sharper Image for 3-4 times what you could pay elsewhere.

Fremen · 08-10-2003, 11:37 PM

I actually bought the fart machine at one time.
Cracked my brother up when I finally showed it to him.
It's pretty fun for something so sophomoric.
There's nothing quite like a remote-control fart.

bermuDa · 08-11-2003, 12:22 AM

I get that magazine, ergo I know all of these things and more exist.

08-09-2003, 07:39 PM	#1 (permalink)
cchris Junkie Location: Sydney	Things you never knew existed..... And probably wont waste hard earned cash on. From the "Things you never knew existed" website. There are some weird products out there,and something for nearly every occasion too. (And yes,I had too much time and was bored today). Surfer Wig Change your image instantly. Sun-bleached locks slip over your hair for totally awesome effect. Look the part, even if you've never seen the ocean! One size fits most. Also comes in black. Electronic Deer And Animal Alert There are few things as dangerous while driving as an animal darting in front of your car. Deer Alert is an electronic animal-warning system that emits both audible and ultrasonic sound to alert a wide range of animals of your approaching vehicle from up to 1,500 feet away. (Must not be used for Evil). Ie:Aiming at said animals. Tactical Street Survival Video Set Here's the story: Larry cruised around the country proving how easily a small guy can devastate larger, more skilled opponents. Anywhere, anytime, against anyone. FREE Bonus tape: How To Fight And Win Against Multiple Attackers (30 min.). Micro Bank You say you don't have enough room in your ordinary piggy bank for all your change? You will with the incredible Micro Bank. Just drop your coins through the top slot. They fall through the magic shrinking funnel and end up in the money box below -- shrunk to half their original size! You'll love watching your money shrink as your fortune grows. Drawer on bottom opens to retrieve your coins. 4.25" tall. (Obviously made for those of us that don't like saving money very much) Psych You Out Book. Don't just stand there & take it. Learn how to handle people who are always trying to psych you out & put you down. Psychological self-defense for handling arguments, showdowns & ambushes without losing your dignity or your cool. Proven tricks to avoid being a doormat or resorting to violence no matter what the situation or who it is. 188 pages. (A riviting read no doubt). Comes with bonus book (Power Talk Manual Power Conversation). Verbal rocket fuel that puts you in control of any social or business situation. 100's of real world examples. Cage Fighting Secrets Video. Best part: You can learn it almost overnight, even if you're out of shape & have no previous fighting skills at all...guaranteed! (Surprisingly this item is out of stock). Car Emergency Tool. These four tools can literally mean the difference between life and death when you're strapped in a wrecked vehicle. Specially-designed hammer with heavy conical steel point shatters the window when doors can't open. Retractable razor-sharp blade slices through the webbing of jammed or broken seat belts. Ultra-bright flashlight illuminates your surroundings anytime you need it. Digital tire gauge displays your tire pressure so you can always keep your tires properly inflated. (Before or after your crash)? Israeli Commando Video Set. So new and effective, this "first peek" at "hidden" Israeli combat secrets is sending shockwaves through the martial arts world! Some martial arts "experts" have never been within miles of a life-and-death situation. Well, we have a guy who, for several years straight, saw combat-ready action EVERY DAY. His name is Nir Maman (pronounced "Near"). He's a former Israeli Special Forces commando and top hand-to-hand combat instructor. In the late 90s his unit roamed deep into enemy territory, fighting terrorists. Remote Control Fart Machine. High tech, state-of-the-art electronic replacements for the inflatable rubber whoopee cushion. The greatest new funmakers to come along in decades! Unlimited uproarious uses: inside the turkey on Thanksgiving; under the covers while you pretend to sleep; hand it to a friend in a crowded elevator; under the first row at a wedding; in the check out line at the supermarket; under a seat at the movies for an especially poignant moment; many others we're sure you can think of! The WIRELESS Remote Control Fart Machine is easily concealed under chair, table, couch, curtains, virtually anywhere. Then control it up to 100 feet away with your miniature transmitter. Just push the transmitter button anytime you want to deliver the most embarrassingly realistic sound that flatulence can produce. Billy Bob Teeth Bored with your social life? Maybe these teeth can get you in with the alien abductee crowd! Most realistic, Hollywood-caliber artificial teeth available. Wind Breaking CD. First International Wind-Breaking Contest World Famous Lost Recording. About 40 years ago some zany radio personalities recorded the First International Crepitation (loud body function) Contest. Never released to the mass market because of its (gaseous) content, the recording has survived because it's just too funny to "waft" away. And finally. Just the thing for your next party. Deluxe Afro Wig Be the grooviest flower child on Mother Earth, complete your happenin' Hippie costume (item 20295,sold separately) with an Afro wig one-size-fits-all. See Halloween return policy on the Customer Service Page. Peace, bro! __________________ There's a fine line between participation and mockery

08-09-2003, 07:58 PM	#2 (permalink)
sadistikdreams lonely rolling star Location: Seattle.	i actually knew some of these things exist. __________________ "Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials." -Lin Yutang hearts, by d.a.

08-09-2003, 08:27 PM	#3 (permalink)
RoadRage Stay off the sidewalk! Location: Oklahoma City, OK	All are available through Sharper Image for 3-4 times what you could pay elsewhere. __________________ Join TFP Team SETI 43K workunits complete, 34 members, more of each needed.

08-10-2003, 11:37 PM	#4 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	I actually bought the fart machine at one time. Cracked my brother up when I finally showed it to him. It's pretty fun for something so sophomoric. There's nothing quite like a remote-control fart. __________________ Google

08-11-2003, 12:22 AM	#5 (permalink)
bermuDa don't ignore this--> Location: CA	I get that magazine, ergo I know all of these things and more exist. __________________ I am the very model of a moderator gentleman.