Three Hundred Proofs of God’s Existence - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

nulltype · 07-31-2003, 04:56 PM

Stolen blatently from FARK.

<a href="http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/GodProof.htm">Three Hundred Proofs of God’s Existence</a>

TerresqueÜ · 07-31-2003, 05:40 PM

*inhale, exhale*

WHOOOOEEEE!!

slimshaydee · 07-31-2003, 06:02 PM

I dont get it...

Marburg · 07-31-2003, 06:55 PM

The time it must have taken to create that makes me sad.

KWSN · 07-31-2003, 07:25 PM

Please tell me that this is a joke...

ARGUMENT FROM SONGS
(1) The song "America the Beautiful" has the line "God shed his grace on thee."
(2) Therefore, God exists.

That's just plain stupid.

bermuDa · 07-31-2003, 07:38 PM

ARGUMENT FROM CREATION
(1) If evolution is false, then creationism is true, and therefore God exists.
(2) Evolution can't be true, since I lack the mental capacity to understand it; moreover, to accept its truth would cause me to be uncomfortable
(3) Therefore, God exists.

sounds like a wind-up, since a necessary stipulation for all these arguments is that god must first exist, thus disproving all of them

sadistikdreams · 07-31-2003, 07:41 PM

Hmmmm!

Im gonna record me reciting the list.

In my Lewis Black voice.

Rabid Bunny · 07-31-2003, 08:11 PM

MORAL ARGUMENT (I)
(1) Person X, a well-known atheist, was morally inferior to the rest of us.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

Complete bull. I'm atheist and I have more morals than some of my religious friends.

grumpyolddude · 07-31-2003, 09:18 PM

Well posted, nulltype, for this is, afterall, utter nonsense.

shred_head · 07-31-2003, 10:28 PM

That is fucking hilarious. Its clearly a joke so no need to get all worried about it. Some great bits on there.

I like this one:
ARGUMENT FROM QUANTUM PHYSICS
(1) Quantum physics uses an uncertainty principle.
(2) There is room for God.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

Its just so absurd, its great! It's making fun of religious people and we all know just how funny that makes it.

Ashton · 07-31-2003, 11:08 PM

Rudy the Evil Pink Hamster is the only true god..... if you worship him you get a nice wheel to run in and clean cedar chips in your cage when you die.

Murpher · 07-31-2003, 11:24 PM

That hurts my eyes.

TIO · 08-01-2003, 12:44 AM

Nice find, nulltype!

MikeyChalupa · 08-01-2003, 05:32 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ashton
Rudy the Evil Pink Hamster is the only true god..... if you worship him you get a nice wheel to run in and clean cedar chips in your cage when you die.

Wonder if he's at all related to the purple polar bear?

-Mikey

SaltPork · 08-01-2003, 05:39 AM

I'm pretty sure that most of those arguments are fallible. There is no logic to most of them.

nulltype · 08-01-2003, 10:03 AM

If you look closely at the url, you might notice something.

I think this one is my favorite:
ARGUMENT FROM SQUARE CIRCLES
(1) There is no such thing as a square circle.
(2) God is not a square circle.
(3) Therefore, God exists

ARGUMENT FROM COMMUNICATION FROM GOD
(1) I had this incredible experience that could only be explained by a communication from God.
(2) Atheist says, "couldn't there be a natural explanation?"
(3) No, I'm telling you there is no way this could be explained naturally.
(4) Atheist suggests alternate explanations q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y and z.
(5) No, none of those can explain it.
(6) Because they can't!
(7) Atheist is not convinced.
(8) How dare you deny my very special experience!
(9) Atheist tries to explain that s/he's only questioning the theist's interpretation of that experience, and not the claim that something special was experienced.
(10) You just don't want to believe that what I experienced is from God, because you are a closed-minded, dogmatic materialist!
(11) And also, you are a big meanie and I'm not talking to you anymore!
(12) Therefore, God exists.

I love this page, Rudy would approve.

Spinach_Indeed · 08-01-2003, 10:10 AM

ARGUMENT FROM BUZZWORDS
(1) As game theory clearly shows, the irreducibly complex nature of the universe indicates probabilistic fine-tuning at the quantum level and renders God logically necessary.
(2) Therefore, God exists

Well... That certianly has changed MY Views on the subject

Batman976 · 08-01-2003, 10:32 AM

How can ANYONE read even some of these arguements and think they're supposed to be taken seriously? Here are some of my favorites:

ARGUMENT FROM POOR TYPING SKILLS
(1) In tihs essae ill demnstrate that gOd exsits in a way tat's so sure thatno athesit can PSOosibly reftue. J will firts dwmonsrtate waht we canaSSUme fo rGod exisnce,,then how wwe can refute anya rgument wihch pretends teh contrrary to eb true,tehn wel'l expose scinetific evidnece thatGod eeexists then we'll cnolcude. yOU will fnid an acurate&up6to6date bibliography no teh page 43 of tihs essay;i Sugegst yu to pritn iths doculent for a mroe confortable raeding.
(2) [Atheist doesn't bother to read it]
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM CLEVER USE OF VOCABULARY
(1) Many atheists will not be convinced by an argument with "Therefore, God exists" as its conclusion.
(2) Consequently, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM FAITH IN THE OBVIOUS
(1) You have faith that the sun will rise tomorrow, don't you?
(2) See! Atheists have faith too!
(3) Just like I have faith in Jesus.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

kalisto_911 · 08-01-2003, 10:36 AM

This is obviously a joke, and a pretty good one too, although these people have way too much time on their hands!

ARGUMENT FROM BLINDNESS (II)
(1) God is love.
(2) Love is blind.
(3) Ray Charles is blind.
(4) Therefore, Ray Charles is God.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

CSflim · 08-01-2003, 01:30 PM

My Good god! Thank you so much! This is the greatest link I have ever come across! This is so wonderfully hilarious.

The fact that some people actually took these arguments for real says a hell of a lot in my opinion!

Plus, if you want to see some of these "proofs" in action, take a swing by the Philosophy Section!

Fly · 08-01-2003, 01:35 PM

hmmmm.....nothin' lit a fire under my ass.....

to me,it's still my kids that are my god.

......and they're not always right either.....

Xell101 · 08-01-2003, 07:48 PM

ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE (2?)
(1) The Bible says the Bible is true.
(2) Therefore the Bible is true.
(3) The Bible says God exists.
(4) Therefore, God exist.

That list is awsome.

Spinach_Indeed · 08-01-2003, 08:55 PM

ARGUMENT FROM MUSHROOMS
(1) This pizza tastes funny.
(2) That purple llama on the ceiling is juggling chainsaws.
(3) Purple llamas can't juggle chainsaws.
(4) It must be a miracle!
(5) Therefore, God exists.

KWSN · 08-01-2003, 10:16 PM

Yeah, now I see that I wasn't reading close enough before...

ARGUMENT FROM SADISM I
(1) I enjoy beating children.
(2) I find some justification for it in the Bible.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

dod123 · 08-01-2003, 11:19 PM

Yes yes, everyone look at the web address, hilarious. Regardless of your religion, you can find these hilarious (i'm not really keen on oversensitive people that take everything as a personal attack on them and their religion, but... to each their own, just don't bug me =D)

Some of my favs

ARGUMENT FROM INTIMIDATION
(1) See this bonfire?
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM ABSURDITY
(1) Maranathra!
(2) Therefore, God exists.

[A little research reveals that there is a product called Maranthra Nut Butters! bahaha]

DORE'S ARGUMENT
(1) I forgot to take my meds.
(2) Therefore, I AM CHRIST!!
(3) Therefore, God exists.

OH GOD, there's too many hilarious ones here, so i'll post one more and laugh privately to myself!

ARGUMENT FROM INCOMPREHENSIBILITY
(1) Flabble glurk zoom boink blubba snurgleschnortz ping!
(2) No one has ever refuted (1).
(3) Therefore, God exists.

Truly, that is the perfect arguement. Impossible to refute! BAHAHAHA!

nulltype · 08-02-2003, 12:25 AM

The sheer quantity of the proofs is impressive.

The first few are meant to sound sort of believable in a non-logical sort of way, I suspect, so that at least a few people will be fooled.

The similarity to so many of the arguments used by real people makes it more funny.

liquid_dreams · 08-02-2003, 01:22 AM

the bible was ritten by drug doing sheperds that coulden get layed and so the bible was then turned into amazing joint paper best smoke of my life

07-31-2003, 04:56 PM	#1 (permalink)
nulltype Crazy	Three Hundred Proofs of God’s Existence Stolen blatently from FARK. <a href="http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/GodProof.htm">Three Hundred Proofs of God’s Existence</a> __________________ Gib mir mein Destillat / Gib mir mein Alltagstot / Gib mir mein Gnadenbrot / zur Ewigkeit

07-31-2003, 05:40 PM	#2 (permalink)
TerresqueÜ Hiding Out	inhale, exhale WHOOOOEEEE!! __________________ Say yes to the 'Tilted Roleplaying' Forum http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1932&highlight=petition

07-31-2003, 06:55 PM	#4 (permalink)
Marburg Crazy Location: Nova Scotia, Canada	The time it must have taken to create that makes me sad. __________________ Ask a simple question... get pain.

07-31-2003, 07:25 PM	#5 (permalink)
KWSN green	Please tell me that this is a joke... ARGUMENT FROM SONGS (1) The song "America the Beautiful" has the line "God shed his grace on thee." (2) Therefore, God exists. That's just plain stupid. __________________ Your arms are broken!

07-31-2003, 07:38 PM	#6 (permalink)
bermuDa don't ignore this--> Location: CA	ARGUMENT FROM CREATION (1) If evolution is false, then creationism is true, and therefore God exists. (2) Evolution can't be true, since I lack the mental capacity to understand it; moreover, to accept its truth would cause me to be uncomfortable (3) Therefore, God exists. sounds like a wind-up, since a necessary stipulation for all these arguments is that god must first exist, thus disproving all of them __________________ I am the very model of a moderator gentleman.

07-31-2003, 06:02 PM	#3 (permalink)
slimshaydee If you've read this, PM me and say so Location: Sitting on my ass, and you?	I dont get it...

07-31-2003, 07:41 PM	#7 (permalink)
sadistikdreams lonely rolling star Location: Seattle.	Hmmmm! Im gonna record me reciting the list. In my Lewis Black voice. __________________ "Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials." -Lin Yutang hearts, by d.a.

07-31-2003, 08:11 PM	#8 (permalink)
Rabid Bunny Tilted Location: Pennsylvania	MORAL ARGUMENT (I) (1) Person X, a well-known atheist, was morally inferior to the rest of us. (2) Therefore, God exists. Complete bull. I'm atheist and I have more morals than some of my religious friends.

07-31-2003, 09:18 PM	#9 (permalink)
grumpyolddude Deliberately unfocused Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby	Well posted, nulltype, for this is, afterall, utter nonsense. __________________ "Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

07-31-2003, 10:28 PM	#10 (permalink)
shred_head Psycho Location: Atlanta, GA	That is fucking hilarious. Its clearly a joke so no need to get all worried about it. Some great bits on there. I like this one: ARGUMENT FROM QUANTUM PHYSICS (1) Quantum physics uses an uncertainty principle. (2) There is room for God. (3) Therefore, God exists. Its just so absurd, its great! It's making fun of religious people and we all know just how funny that makes it. __________________ "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds" -- Albert Einstein "A clear indication of women's superiority over man is their refusal to play air guitar." --Frank Zappa

07-31-2003, 11:08 PM	#11 (permalink)
Ashton PORNHOUND Location: California	Rudy the Evil Pink Hamster is the only true god..... if you worship him you get a nice wheel to run in and clean cedar chips in your cage when you die.

07-31-2003, 11:24 PM	#12 (permalink)
Murpher Upright Location: NJ	That hurts my eyes. __________________ I have been told that the variable "X" is going to give it to you.

08-01-2003, 12:44 AM	#13 (permalink)
TIO Addict Location: The Land Down Under	Nice find, nulltype! __________________ Strewth

08-01-2003, 05:39 AM	#15 (permalink)
SaltPork Everything's better with bacon Location: In your local grocer's freezer.	I'm pretty sure that most of those arguments are fallible. There is no logic to most of them. __________________ It was like that when I got here....I swear.

08-01-2003, 10:03 AM	#16 (permalink)
nulltype Crazy	If you look closely at the url, you might notice something. I think this one is my favorite: ARGUMENT FROM SQUARE CIRCLES (1) There is no such thing as a square circle. (2) God is not a square circle. (3) Therefore, God exists ARGUMENT FROM COMMUNICATION FROM GOD (1) I had this incredible experience that could only be explained by a communication from God. (2) Atheist says, "couldn't there be a natural explanation?" (3) No, I'm telling you there is no way this could be explained naturally. (4) Atheist suggests alternate explanations q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y and z. (5) No, none of those can explain it. (6) Because they can't! (7) Atheist is not convinced. (8) How dare you deny my very special experience! (9) Atheist tries to explain that s/he's only questioning the theist's interpretation of that experience, and not the claim that something special was experienced. (10) You just don't want to believe that what I experienced is from God, because you are a closed-minded, dogmatic materialist! (11) And also, you are a big meanie and I'm not talking to you anymore! (12) Therefore, God exists. I love this page, Rudy would approve. __________________ Gib mir mein Destillat / Gib mir mein Alltagstot / Gib mir mein Gnadenbrot / zur Ewigkeit

08-01-2003, 10:10 AM	#17 (permalink)
Spinach_Indeed Banned? Location: Artic Tundra	ARGUMENT FROM BUZZWORDS (1) As game theory clearly shows, the irreducibly complex nature of the universe indicates probabilistic fine-tuning at the quantum level and renders God logically necessary. (2) Therefore, God exists Well... That certianly has changed MY Views on the subject __________________ Spinach in Need is Spinach Indeed

08-01-2003, 10:32 AM	#18 (permalink)
Batman976 is you wicked? Location: I live in a giant bucket.	How can ANYONE read even some of these arguements and think they're supposed to be taken seriously? Here are some of my favorites: ARGUMENT FROM POOR TYPING SKILLS (1) In tihs essae ill demnstrate that gOd exsits in a way tat's so sure thatno athesit can PSOosibly reftue. J will firts dwmonsrtate waht we canaSSUme fo rGod exisnce,,then how wwe can refute anya rgument wihch pretends teh contrrary to eb true,tehn wel'l expose scinetific evidnece thatGod eeexists then we'll cnolcude. yOU will fnid an acurate&up6to6date bibliography no teh page 43 of tihs essay;i Sugegst yu to pritn iths doculent for a mroe confortable raeding. (2) [Atheist doesn't bother to read it] (3) Therefore, God exists. ARGUMENT FROM CLEVER USE OF VOCABULARY (1) Many atheists will not be convinced by an argument with "Therefore, God exists" as its conclusion. (2) Consequently, God exists. ARGUMENT FROM FAITH IN THE OBVIOUS (1) You have faith that the sun will rise tomorrow, don't you? (2) See! Atheists have faith too! (3) Just like I have faith in Jesus. (4) Therefore, God exists. __________________ The following statement is true. The preceding statement was false.

08-01-2003, 10:36 AM	#19 (permalink)
kalisto_911 Psycho Location: Dreams	This is obviously a joke, and a pretty good one too, although these people have way too much time on their hands! ARGUMENT FROM BLINDNESS (II) (1) God is love. (2) Love is blind. (3) Ray Charles is blind. (4) Therefore, Ray Charles is God. (5) Therefore, God exists. __________________ I know not how I may seem to others, but to myself I am but a small child wandering upon the vast shores of knowledge, every now and then finding a small bright pebble to content myself with. [Plato]

08-01-2003, 01:30 PM	#20 (permalink)
CSflim Sky Piercer Location: Ireland	My Good god! Thank you so much! This is the greatest link I have ever come across! This is so wonderfully hilarious. The fact that some people actually took these arguments for real says a hell of a lot in my opinion! Plus, if you want to see some of these "proofs" in action, take a swing by the Philosophy Section! __________________ Last edited by CSflim; 08-01-2003 at 01:33 PM..

08-01-2003, 01:35 PM	#21 (permalink)
Fly see the links to my music? Location: Beautiful British Columbia	hmmmm.....nothin' lit a fire under my ass..... to me,it's still my kids that are my god. ......and they're not always right either..... __________________ BASTARD SterlingStudios

08-01-2003, 07:48 PM	#22 (permalink)
Xell101 Junkie	ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE (2?) (1) The Bible says the Bible is true. (2) Therefore the Bible is true. (3) The Bible says God exists. (4) Therefore, God exist. That list is awsome.

08-01-2003, 08:55 PM	#23 (permalink)
Spinach_Indeed Banned? Location: Artic Tundra	ARGUMENT FROM MUSHROOMS (1) This pizza tastes funny. (2) That purple llama on the ceiling is juggling chainsaws. (3) Purple llamas can't juggle chainsaws. (4) It must be a miracle! (5) Therefore, God exists. __________________ Spinach in Need is Spinach Indeed

08-01-2003, 10:16 PM	#24 (permalink)
KWSN green	Yeah, now I see that I wasn't reading close enough before... ARGUMENT FROM SADISM I (1) I enjoy beating children. (2) I find some justification for it in the Bible. (3) Therefore, God exists. __________________ Your arms are broken!

08-01-2003, 11:19 PM	#25 (permalink)
dod123 Upright Location: US	Yes yes, everyone look at the web address, hilarious. Regardless of your religion, you can find these hilarious (i'm not really keen on oversensitive people that take everything as a personal attack on them and their religion, but... to each their own, just don't bug me =D) Some of my favs ARGUMENT FROM INTIMIDATION (1) See this bonfire? (2) Therefore, God exists. ARGUMENT FROM ABSURDITY (1) Maranathra! (2) Therefore, God exists. [A little research reveals that there is a product called Maranthra Nut Butters! bahaha] DORE'S ARGUMENT (1) I forgot to take my meds. (2) Therefore, I AM CHRIST!! (3) Therefore, God exists. OH GOD, there's too many hilarious ones here, so i'll post one more and laugh privately to myself! ARGUMENT FROM INCOMPREHENSIBILITY (1) Flabble glurk zoom boink blubba snurgleschnortz ping! (2) No one has ever refuted (1). (3) Therefore, God exists. Truly, that is the perfect arguement. Impossible to refute! BAHAHAHA! __________________ "I may be newb, but at least i'm not stupid O.o"

08-02-2003, 12:25 AM	#26 (permalink)
nulltype Crazy	The sheer quantity of the proofs is impressive. The first few are meant to sound sort of believable in a non-logical sort of way, I suspect, so that at least a few people will be fooled. The similarity to so many of the arguments used by real people makes it more funny. __________________ Gib mir mein Destillat / Gib mir mein Alltagstot / Gib mir mein Gnadenbrot / zur Ewigkeit

08-02-2003, 01:22 AM	#27 (permalink)
liquid_dreams Banned Location: ketchikan	the bible was ritten by drug doing sheperds that coulden get layed and so the bible was then turned into amazing joint paper best smoke of my life