TOP EIGHT MORONS OF THE YEAR - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Tandem · 07-27-2003, 08:31 PM

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?

AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked
intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.
Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:

Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a
gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas
canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the
police line, shouting "Please come out and give yourself up."

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???

An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced
him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the
kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY!

A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in
the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store
clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and
grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT???

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just
couldn't control himself during a line-up. When detectives asked each man
in the line-up to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot".
The man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??

A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked.
"No!", the man shouted, "This is her husband!".

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!

In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold
up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to
simulate a gun but, unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.
(hellllllooooooo!)

8. THE GRAND FINALE

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east
of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem.
No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft going.
It was very sluggish in almost every manoeuvre, no matter how much power was
applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina,
thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check
revealed everything in perfect working condition.

The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the prop was the correct
size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath,
he came up choking on water. He was laughing so hard.
. NOW REMEMBER ..THIS IS TRUE...
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.

spectre · 07-27-2003, 08:35 PM

I should laugh at this, but it's just so sad that people are this stupid.

maxero · 07-27-2003, 08:38 PM

theyre not all morons, some of them just had some fun at the expense of others humility, and time in prison

rocinante2003 · 07-27-2003, 08:38 PM

Some people should not be out in public.

maxero · 07-27-2003, 08:43 PM

and consequently they find ways to remove themselves from the public.

YourNeverThere · 07-27-2003, 09:02 PM

did you right that?

NewDisease · 07-27-2003, 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tandem

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:

Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a
gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas
canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the
police line, shouting "Please come out and give yourself up."

tooo funny

tenchi069 · 07-27-2003, 09:11 PM

build something fool proof, and the world will build a better fool... forgot who said it originally, but it seems to fit

KWSN · 07-27-2003, 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tandem
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.

How exactly these people managed to do that and think that at least SOMETHING wasn't wrong with it is beyond me. WAY beyond me.

yankeefatboy · 07-28-2003, 12:07 AM

Good stuff! Now I can go to sleep feeling safe again.

Gambrinous · 07-28-2003, 02:21 AM

kalisto_911 · 07-28-2003, 08:23 AM

Future Darwin Awards contestants for sure

numberfive · 07-28-2003, 08:27 AM

There should be laws against being this stupid. I mean, damn, the trailer?

GSRIDER · 07-28-2003, 09:48 AM

This has always been a favorite of mine

<img src="http://forums.pwctoday.com/download.php?id=1694&sid=a66affc5531fd626d61a9497c07002bc">

07-28-2003, 12:46 PM

HA! Nothing as good as seeing an suv driving idiot prove that he's an idiot for more reasons than the SUV himself...

Fire · 07-29-2003, 10:29 PM

hey- the world needs people like this- what do you think keeps the economy and politics going

BBtB · 07-29-2003, 11:43 PM

I have read all of those before except the last one. I don't even see how that one is possible. I mean you would have to be damn near trying to do that to pull that one off. I mean they HAD to have unhooked the trailer or they were pulling their car too and not noticing. That said, I still believe it is true.

Edit: Also about the SUV, I hope the driver had atleast enough sense to get out of the car before the third picture was taken. In fact I probablly would have said fuck this as soon as ANY water was getting in my car.

bundy · 07-30-2003, 03:34 AM

these are all hilarious.
especially that SUV - goddam thats great.

krwlz · 07-30-2003, 06:12 AM

I really loved the first one....Corporate america at its full and finest!

dod123 · 08-02-2003, 12:04 AM

Gotta love it.

http://66.165.133.65/humor/jokes/isabella.htm

Take it as you like, HILARIOUS either way.

debaser · 08-02-2003, 12:13 PM

The sum of intelligence on Earth is a constant. The population is growing...

PayUp · 08-02-2003, 04:00 PM

i laughed for ten minutes about the boat, i thought the guy was gonna come up and say they were dragging the anchor or something

obediah · 08-03-2003, 12:24 PM

great stories!

07-27-2003, 08:31 PM	#1 (permalink)
Tandem Insane Location: Brisbane, Australia	TOP EIGHT MORONS OF THE YEAR 1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence. 2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting "Please come out and give yourself up." 3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts. 4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him. 5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a line-up. When detectives asked each man in the line-up to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot". The man shouted, "That's not what I said!" 6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING?? A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!", the man shouted, "This is her husband!". 7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!! In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun but, unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellllllooooooo!) 8. THE GRAND FINALE Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft going. It was very sluggish in almost every manoeuvre, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath, he came up choking on water. He was laughing so hard. . NOW REMEMBER ..THIS IS TRUE... Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.

07-27-2003, 08:35 PM	#2 (permalink)
spectre Junkie	I should laugh at this, but it's just so sad that people are this stupid. __________________ "Fuck these chains No goddamn slave I will be different" ~ Machine Head

07-27-2003, 08:38 PM	#3 (permalink)
maxero Crazy	theyre not all morons, some of them just had some fun at the expense of others humility, and time in prison __________________ cough

07-27-2003, 08:43 PM	#5 (permalink)
maxero Crazy	and consequently they find ways to remove themselves from the public. __________________ cough

07-27-2003, 09:02 PM	#6 (permalink)
YourNeverThere Practical Anarchist Location: Yesterday i woke up stuck in hollywood	did you right that? __________________ The Above post is a direct quote from Shakespeare

07-27-2003, 08:38 PM	#4 (permalink)
rocinante2003 Insane Location: Dallas	Some people should not be out in public.

07-27-2003, 09:11 PM	#8 (permalink)
tenchi069 Lost Location: One step closer to the padded cell...	build something fool proof, and the world will build a better fool... forgot who said it originally, but it seems to fit

07-28-2003, 12:07 AM	#10 (permalink)
yankeefatboy Addict Location: northern california	Good stuff! Now I can go to sleep feeling safe again.

07-28-2003, 02:21 AM	#11 (permalink)
Gambrinous Upright	lol

07-28-2003, 08:23 AM	#12 (permalink)
kalisto_911 Psycho Location: Dreams	Future Darwin Awards contestants for sure __________________ I know not how I may seem to others, but to myself I am but a small child wandering upon the vast shores of knowledge, every now and then finding a small bright pebble to content myself with. [Plato]

07-28-2003, 08:27 AM	#13 (permalink)
numberfive You + Me = Us Location: California dreaming...	There should be laws against being this stupid. I mean, damn, the trailer? __________________ P.S. Always remember: to forget is a form of suicide. (If I could only remember to forget myself.)

07-28-2003, 09:48 AM	#14 (permalink)
GSRIDER spurt king Location: Out of my mind	This has always been a favorite of mine <img src="http://forums.pwctoday.com/download.php?id=1694&sid=a66affc5531fd626d61a9497c07002bc"> __________________ No signature at this time.

07-28-2003, 12:46 PM	#15 (permalink)
smithja0423 Guest	HA! Nothing as good as seeing an suv driving idiot prove that he's an idiot for more reasons than the SUV himself...

07-29-2003, 10:29 PM	#16 (permalink)
Fire Warrior Smith Location: missouri	hey- the world needs people like this- what do you think keeps the economy and politics going __________________ Thought the harder, Heart the bolder, Mood the more as our might lessens

07-29-2003, 11:43 PM	#17 (permalink)
BBtB ClerkMan! Location: Tulsa, Ok.	I have read all of those before except the last one. I don't even see how that one is possible. I mean you would have to be damn near trying to do that to pull that one off. I mean they HAD to have unhooked the trailer or they were pulling their car too and not noticing. That said, I still believe it is true. Edit: Also about the SUV, I hope the driver had atleast enough sense to get out of the car before the third picture was taken. In fact I probablly would have said fuck this as soon as ANY water was getting in my car. __________________ Meridae'n once played "death" at a game of chess that lasted for over two years. He finally beat death in a best 34 out of 67 match. At that time he could ask for any one thing and he could wish for the hope of all mankind... he looked death right in the eye and said ... "I would like about three fiddy" Last edited by BBtB; 07-29-2003 at 11:45 PM..

08-03-2003, 12:24 PM	#23 (permalink)
obediah Crazy	great stories!

07-30-2003, 03:34 AM	#18 (permalink)
bundy . Location: Tokyo	these are all hilarious. especially that SUV - goddam thats great. __________________ Ohayo!!!

07-30-2003, 06:12 AM	#19 (permalink)
krwlz Fledgling Dead Head Location: Clarkson U.	I really loved the first one....Corporate america at its full and finest!

08-02-2003, 12:04 AM	#20 (permalink)
dod123 Upright Location: US	Gotta love it. http://66.165.133.65/humor/jokes/isabella.htm Take it as you like, HILARIOUS either way. __________________ "I may be newb, but at least i'm not stupid O.o"

08-02-2003, 12:13 PM	#21 (permalink)
debaser Sir, I have a plan... Location: 38S NC20943324	The sum of intelligence on Earth is a constant. The population is growing... __________________ Fortunato became immured to the sound of the trowel after a while.

08-02-2003, 04:00 PM	#22 (permalink)
PayUp DILLIGAF Location: AZ	i laughed for ten minutes about the boat, i thought the guy was gonna come up and say they were dragging the anchor or something __________________ Born to Lose.