The Battle of Useless things!! - Page 3 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

vermin · 07-16-2003, 06:50 PM

Court rulings parryed by Writ of Illegible Legalese

Attack answered by thrust of incomprehensible gist (esoteric ass-kickin')

cchris · 07-16-2003, 06:59 PM

Finds and hides behind "Australia's" Soccer World cup bid poster

Like a Gatling gun fires back odd socks

vermin · 07-16-2003, 07:14 PM

Gnaws his way out from under a pile of socks

Flings raisins via rubber band thumb-and-forefinger catapult

Stiltzkin · 07-16-2003, 07:25 PM

:: peers out from bushes::

::tosses several iMacs at everyone::

::holds up a copy of Linux as a shield, runs away::

Meridae'n · 07-16-2003, 07:36 PM

*Bang* They crash against my replica America's Cup.

I throw a handful of headless Voltron figures at you...

Stiltzkin · 07-16-2003, 11:04 PM

::catches the Voltron figures with a mitt and adds them to his collection...::

:: peers out and tosses Steve Jobs at Meridae'n::

Meridae'n · 07-16-2003, 11:17 PM

Who flies directly over my flip-top glasses.

I throw Wales at you...

TerresqueÜ · 07-17-2003, 09:53 AM

I deflect Wales with France's military.

I chuck Afghanistan's economy at your head.

TerresqueÜ · 07-17-2003, 10:02 AM

Hey, Bones that really hurts!!!

*picks up his cards and orders them*

Now, then. Takes the brains of children from Spanish Harlem and throws them at you.

rat · 07-17-2003, 10:43 AM

deflected easily by Bush's domestic policy

Toss a Lenin action figure (complete with broken karate chop action)

TerresqueÜ · 07-17-2003, 11:11 AM

Is hit in the face with the Lenin action figure.

Grabs Elvis' colon and attacks.

Nikilidstrom · 07-17-2003, 11:46 AM

dammit bones, I still use my Dukes of Hazzrad Dinner Tray all the time. The food conveniently covers Bo and Luke, leaving Daisy Duke's cleavage right in the middle of the tray visible for optimal mealtime enjoyment.

crackpot · 07-17-2003, 02:17 PM

Defence: my brother's "3-d" Frogger puff-up stickers...

now look out for not one, but two pairs of odd socks!!

grumpyolddude · 07-17-2003, 02:53 PM

Anvance behind copies of "Video Proffessor" to impale all ememies with a spork.

Fly · 07-17-2003, 03:52 PM

damn sporks are hard too defend...although...i have an old tennis racket the the spork richochets off of....

and toss a softball with only partial leather still on it.

hawkeye · 07-17-2003, 08:47 PM

blocks with sammy sosa's bat

attacks with an original IBM PS/2

Fremen · 07-18-2003, 04:07 AM

*blocks the IBM PS/2 with microwave pot-pie box, inside out for the devastating effects of the crisper shields*

*attacks with a 5 year old animal flea collar*

Fremen · 07-18-2003, 04:27 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Fremen

*attacks with a 5 year old animal flea collar*

As opposed to a human flea collar.

Miranda · 07-18-2003, 04:55 AM

With my trusty yet soggy teatowel I shield myself...

While I fling with all my might a chocolate coated broken TV antenna in you general direction! Muahaha!

cliche · 07-18-2003, 05:49 AM

***Defend against the antenna with my:
LEGAL CABLE TV DE-SCRAMBLER
Want to watch Sporting Events?--Movies?--Pay-Per-View??
You can assemble from electronic store parts for about $12.00.
We Send You:
E-Z To follow Assembly Instructions.
E-Z To read Original Drawings.
Electronic parts lists.
PLUS SOMETHING NEW YOU MUST HAVE!
Something you can't do without.

***And launch a viscious and devastating counter-attack with:
Experience the results you've always wanted=20
with a MASSIVE scientific breakthrough:

Our Doctor-Approved Pill Will Actually Expand, Lengthen=20
And Enlarge Your Penis. 100% GUARANTEED!=20

analog · 07-18-2003, 02:57 PM

*Tries to block using a Martha Stuart toaster coozie, but is knocked down by bullshit guarantees*

*Tries to adhere his combatants to the walls by throwing used tape and post-its that have already been stuck to something else before (not very sticky anymore).*

grumpyolddude · 07-18-2003, 03:04 PM

Easily defends with public restroom roilet paper

Crushes all opposition with a two month supply of Bloussant.

vermin · 07-19-2003, 08:08 AM

Despite the appeal of having a firmer fuller bosom, shields with promises of great wealth with only a minimal investment.

Counter-attacks with a left-over piece of formica.

TerresqueÜ · 07-19-2003, 11:43 AM

Grabs some stock bought on margin and throws it at you, while being pelted with tiny pieces of formica.

analog · 07-24-2003, 10:42 AM

*Deflects stocks with McDonald's Monopoly Gamepieces.

*Throws collection of <i>21 Jump Street</i> videos.

kalisto_911 · 07-24-2003, 12:01 PM

I will dive behind my upsidedown Zambonie and lob a lone breast implant at you!

Fremen · 07-24-2003, 10:38 PM

I'll repel your implant with a voided check and lob a cracked water pitcher at you.

TerresqueÜ · 07-25-2003, 08:50 AM

Deflects the water picter with a grill minus the screen.

Grabs some gray coal and starts chukin it.

Fly · 07-25-2003, 09:05 PM

....no match for the pantyhose i'm wearing.....

*ohh shit....did i say that out loud?*

returns with a dual pointed toothpick that has had one side chewed on.

Meridae'n · 07-27-2003, 09:07 PM

ha, bouces weakly off my 'Beijing for 2000' banner.

I then throw a pan of my girlfriend's lasagne at you (and it's gunna hurt!)

07-27-2003, 09:36 PM

Ahah! The lasagna bounces harmlessly off of my Max Payne mouse pad (which is being used with one of those mice that have the ball on top).

In retaliation, I hurl a free Hatebreed DVD completely covered in styrofoam peanut directly at your skull!

Hah! I can see you now, trying to pull a horrible advertising ploy out of your skull...

tenchi069 · 07-27-2003, 09:54 PM

throws: optical mouse at your mousepad

holds up: anna nicole smith to block

07-28-2003, 10:09 PM

I think holding Anna Nicole Smith would automatically take you out of the game, my friend.

Because you'd be dead. Just so we're all clear on that.

Bobnik · 07-29-2003, 05:27 AM

hides behind empty milk cartons

uses VZ-300 to launch hacking attack

07-16-2003, 06:50 PM	#81 (permalink)
vermin Indifferent to anti-matter Location: Tucson, AZ	Court rulings parryed by Writ of Illegible Legalese Attack answered by thrust of incomprehensible gist (esoteric ass-kickin') __________________ If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

07-16-2003, 06:59 PM	#82 (permalink)
cchris Junkie Location: Sydney	Finds and hides behind "Australia's" Soccer World cup bid poster Like a Gatling gun fires back odd socks __________________ There's a fine line between participation and mockery

07-16-2003, 07:14 PM	#83 (permalink)
vermin Indifferent to anti-matter Location: Tucson, AZ	Gnaws his way out from under a pile of socks Flings raisins via rubber band thumb-and-forefinger catapult __________________ If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

07-16-2003, 07:25 PM	#84 (permalink)
Stiltzkin Junkie	:: peers out from bushes:: ::tosses several iMacs at everyone:: ::holds up a copy of Linux as a shield, runs away:: __________________ The most important thing in this world is love.

07-16-2003, 07:36 PM	#85 (permalink)
Meridae'n Loose Cunt Location: North Bondi RSL	Bang They crash against my replica America's Cup. I throw a handful of headless Voltron figures at you... __________________ What's easier to believe: that a guy was born without sex in the manner of several Greek demigods and grew up to be able to transmute liquids and alter his body density yet couldn't escape government execution, or that three freemasons in a vehicle made with aluminum foil in an era before digital technology escaped our atmosphere, landing on the moon, broadcasted from there, and then flew back without burning up?

07-16-2003, 11:04 PM	#86 (permalink)
Stiltzkin Junkie	::catches the Voltron figures with a mitt and adds them to his collection...:: :: peers out and tosses Steve Jobs at Meridae'n:: __________________ The most important thing in this world is love.

07-16-2003, 11:17 PM	#87 (permalink)
Meridae'n Loose Cunt Location: North Bondi RSL	Who flies directly over my flip-top glasses. I throw Wales at you... __________________ What's easier to believe: that a guy was born without sex in the manner of several Greek demigods and grew up to be able to transmute liquids and alter his body density yet couldn't escape government execution, or that three freemasons in a vehicle made with aluminum foil in an era before digital technology escaped our atmosphere, landing on the moon, broadcasted from there, and then flew back without burning up?

07-17-2003, 09:53 AM	#88 (permalink)
TerresqueÜ Hiding Out	I deflect Wales with France's military. I chuck Afghanistan's economy at your head. __________________ Say yes to the 'Tilted Roleplaying' Forum http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1932&highlight=petition

07-17-2003, 10:02 AM	#89 (permalink)
TerresqueÜ Hiding Out	Hey, Bones that really hurts!!! picks up his cards and orders them Now, then. Takes the brains of children from Spanish Harlem and throws them at you. __________________ Say yes to the 'Tilted Roleplaying' Forum http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1932&highlight=petition

07-17-2003, 11:11 AM	#91 (permalink)
TerresqueÜ Hiding Out	Is hit in the face with the Lenin action figure. Grabs Elvis' colon and attacks. __________________ Say yes to the 'Tilted Roleplaying' Forum http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1932&highlight=petition

07-17-2003, 11:46 AM	#92 (permalink)
Nikilidstrom Stick it in your five hole! Location: Michigan, USA	dammit bones, I still use my Dukes of Hazzrad Dinner Tray all the time. The food conveniently covers Bo and Luke, leaving Daisy Duke's cleavage right in the middle of the tray visible for optimal mealtime enjoyment.

07-17-2003, 02:17 PM	#93 (permalink)
crackpot Junkie Location: Montreal	Defence: my brother's "3-d" Frogger puff-up stickers... now look out for not one, but two pairs of odd socks!!

07-17-2003, 02:53 PM	#94 (permalink)
grumpyolddude Deliberately unfocused Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby	Anvance behind copies of "Video Proffessor" to impale all ememies with a spork. __________________ "Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

07-17-2003, 03:52 PM	#95 (permalink)
Fly see the links to my music? Location: Beautiful British Columbia	damn sporks are hard too defend...although...i have an old tennis racket the the spork richochets off of.... and toss a softball with only partial leather still on it. __________________ BASTARD SterlingStudios

07-17-2003, 08:47 PM	#96 (permalink)
hawkeye back from sabbatical Location: Mosptopia	blocks with sammy sosa's bat attacks with an original IBM PS/2 __________________ You're not fat, You're just a giant ball of love, covered in anger.

07-24-2003, 12:01 PM	#106 (permalink)
kalisto_911 Psycho Location: Dreams	I will dive behind my upsidedown Zambonie and lob a lone breast implant at you! __________________ I know not how I may seem to others, but to myself I am but a small child wandering upon the vast shores of knowledge, every now and then finding a small bright pebble to content myself with. [Plato]

07-18-2003, 04:07 AM	#97 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	blocks the IBM PS/2 with microwave pot-pie box, inside out for the devastating effects of the crisper shields attacks with a 5 year old animal flea collar __________________ Google

07-18-2003, 04:55 AM	#99 (permalink)
Miranda Banned Location: Sydney	With my trusty yet soggy teatowel I shield myself... While I fling with all my might a chocolate coated broken TV antenna in you general direction! Muahaha!

07-18-2003, 05:49 AM	#100 (permalink)
cliche Rookie Location: Oxford, UK	*Defend against the antenna with my: LEGAL CABLE TV DE-SCRAMBLER Want to watch Sporting Events?--Movies?--Pay-Per-View?? You can assemble from electronic store parts for about $12.00. We Send You: E-Z To follow Assembly Instructions. E-Z To read Original Drawings. Electronic parts lists. PLUS SOMETHING NEW YOU MUST HAVE! Something you can't do without. And launch a viscious and devastating counter-attack with: Experience the results you've always wanted=20 with a MASSIVE scientific breakthrough: Our Doctor-Approved Pill Will Actually Expand, Lengthen=20 And Enlarge Your Penis. 100% GUARANTEED!=20 __________________ I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones. -- John Cage (1912 - 1992)*

07-18-2003, 02:57 PM	#101 (permalink)
analog Banned	Tries to block using a Martha Stuart toaster coozie, but is knocked down by bullshit guarantees Tries to adhere his combatants to the walls by throwing used tape and post-its that have already been stuck to something else before (not very sticky anymore).

07-18-2003, 03:04 PM	#102 (permalink)
grumpyolddude Deliberately unfocused Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby	Easily defends with public restroom roilet paper Crushes all opposition with a two month supply of Bloussant. __________________ "Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

07-19-2003, 08:08 AM	#103 (permalink)
vermin Indifferent to anti-matter Location: Tucson, AZ	Despite the appeal of having a firmer fuller bosom, shields with promises of great wealth with only a minimal investment. Counter-attacks with a left-over piece of formica. __________________ If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

07-19-2003, 11:43 AM	#104 (permalink)
TerresqueÜ Hiding Out	Grabs some stock bought on margin and throws it at you, while being pelted with tiny pieces of formica. __________________ Say yes to the 'Tilted Roleplaying' Forum http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1932&highlight=petition

07-24-2003, 10:42 AM	#105 (permalink)
analog Banned	Deflects stocks with McDonald's Monopoly Gamepieces. Throws collection of <i>21 Jump Street</i> videos.

07-24-2003, 10:38 PM	#107 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	I'll repel your implant with a voided check and lob a cracked water pitcher at you. __________________ Google

07-25-2003, 08:50 AM	#108 (permalink)
TerresqueÜ Hiding Out	Deflects the water picter with a grill minus the screen. Grabs some gray coal and starts chukin it. __________________ Say yes to the 'Tilted Roleplaying' Forum http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1932&highlight=petition

07-25-2003, 09:05 PM	#109 (permalink)
Fly see the links to my music? Location: Beautiful British Columbia	....no match for the pantyhose i'm wearing..... ohh shit....did i say that out loud? returns with a dual pointed toothpick that has had one side chewed on. __________________ BASTARD SterlingStudios

07-27-2003, 09:07 PM	#110 (permalink)
Meridae'n Loose Cunt Location: North Bondi RSL	ha, bouces weakly off my 'Beijing for 2000' banner. I then throw a pan of my girlfriend's lasagne at you (and it's gunna hurt!) __________________ What's easier to believe: that a guy was born without sex in the manner of several Greek demigods and grew up to be able to transmute liquids and alter his body density yet couldn't escape government execution, or that three freemasons in a vehicle made with aluminum foil in an era before digital technology escaped our atmosphere, landing on the moon, broadcasted from there, and then flew back without burning up?

07-27-2003, 09:36 PM	#111 (permalink)
JohnnyCorpse Guest	Ahah! The lasagna bounces harmlessly off of my Max Payne mouse pad (which is being used with one of those mice that have the ball on top). In retaliation, I hurl a free Hatebreed DVD completely covered in styrofoam peanut directly at your skull! Hah! I can see you now, trying to pull a horrible advertising ploy out of your skull...

07-27-2003, 09:54 PM	#112 (permalink)
tenchi069 Lost Location: One step closer to the padded cell...	throws: optical mouse at your mousepad holds up: anna nicole smith to block

07-28-2003, 10:09 PM	#113 (permalink)
JohnnyCorpse Guest	I think holding Anna Nicole Smith would automatically take you out of the game, my friend. Because you'd be dead. Just so we're all clear on that.

07-29-2003, 05:27 AM	#114 (permalink)
Bobnik Upright Location: On board the GSV Transitive Morality	hides behind empty milk cartons uses VZ-300 to launch hacking attack __________________ The gods are not fickle. But they have been known to change their minds. I am the Mad Scientist who runs the clone vats that produce Qpid's Liberation Army. We will take over the world before Microsoft does. Join the Revolution!