Ask a Hobbit
 

I was told to make this by dlish. Ask away. Promise this is the last of the "Ask a " thread. :thumbsup:

Oh Hobbit-tastical-ness....


Where is the precious?

Are there any naked pictures of Sam's wife? She was pretty cute in the movies.

are your feet in proportion to your height?

As a hobbit, do you feel that Frodo and Sam are overrated as individual and do not deserve as much respect as people give them?

In my pants, I call it the "Ring of Long Lasting Hobbit Love". You can call it, "oh oh oh Oh OH OH OH HOBBITMAN!"


Yes, she did soft-core hobbit porn to make ends meet when the "Great Ale Famine" of 1346 happened. I'll PM you the pictures later.


Yes, I got's small hairy feet. Else I would be a clown, not a hobbit.

*****

As a official from the hobbit community I think that those troublemakers and disturbers of the peace got way to much praise for their "adventures". We have no record of this "epic tale" and think Baggins clan made these tales up for free ale. We do not condone such "frolicking" about and claim that no evil ring ever passed the Brandywine Bridge.

Unofficially.... those little elf-lovers should have stayed gone. Tales of heroism from good and honest hobbits? Baggerdash, I say!

Can I set my beer on your head?

I looked in your pants. It was not pwwwweeeeshhhhuss.
Try again?

so the old saw about feet being relative to that "certain part of a males anatomy" rings true in the hobbit world?

Will you tell me a story?

I don't care as long as you buy me two.

Oh it was, look again. This time with less clothes on. Bring some ale too.

Let's just say all the saucy tavern wenches really know where the long in "Longbottom" really comes from.

*****

Once, there was a very peculiar Took who lived in the cold north of the shire way past the remote town of Long Cleeve. He was a strange fellow, always dolting on those books he had bought from those strange Men who traded in furs and amber. He never cared much for other folk, even his own clan shunned him. You could see him out in the woods, reading his books, trying to get the last light of every fading sun. By low candle light he read late into the night, not caring of crops or the harvest. He would walk the woods during the day, his long Took nose stuck deep into the pages of the book he carried with him that day, not caring where he walked only that the light of the sun shown upon the book he read. One faithful day, late of the year 2747, he walked father that he had ever before. Straight past the borders of the northern most points of the Shire, he walked. He walked for hours upon hours until he could walk no more. The light of the sun had past the mountains and shown no more upon this lonely hobbit. When the last rays no longer touched his book, he cast his gaze upon the light shinning before him. Thinking it was a campfire he strode towards it with utmost confidence in his travels. Never once did he look around at the steely gazes that fell upon him, never once thinking to look past his own nose. Sitting down at the campfire, he cracked open his book once more, basking in the light and heat from the roaring flame. He read until he reached the last page of his book and slowly shut the cover. He looked up finally at the figures amassed around him and realized that he had walked right into a campfire of an advancing Orc horde. His screams never left his mouth before the evil Orc before him swung his axe and ended the life of the wayward hobbit. This young hobbit had found the army of Golfimbul who advanced upon the shire with his war-band of orcs. From this story, us hobbits get the phrase "A took with a book is hardly worth a look".

Do feel more in touch with your Tookish side or your Baggins side?

It's just dark and fuzzy in there, eden.
The pweeeessshhhhuuussssss is shiny. I'm not falling for your shenanigans!

This thread is awakening my rock ogre.

Why didn't they just mail the ring to Mordor?

did you participate in the raping of Gandalf?

Which one are you?

Can I help you reach anything on the top shelf?

Do all hobbits glow at night or is it just you?

Were you one of the dancing guys when Spinal Tap played "Stonehenge" in the movie?

do you suck dick standing?

How did smaug get his name?

Do you prefer the cartoon version of you, or the movie version of you?

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Jr2kH5AguC...ass-goblin.jpg http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/i...91__lotr_l.jpg

I'm a quiet proud member of the Longbottom clan, I do not associate with those lying hobbits or those trouble making Tooks.

You women folk and your need for shiny things to show to other women folk. There is no shiny here, no sqedaddle now!

Oh, Rosie over at the tavern really gets a rise out of my May Day Pole!

The shipping rates for magical artifacts are fucking outrageous, we could have bought Helm's Deep twice over to mail that damn ring. I tried just mailing it in a package with some cookies from my Great Aunt Gertrude, but the MiddleEx deliver guy got killed by ring wraiths before he even left the shire.

No I didn't, but I sure got a hardy laugh out of watching the gag reel from it!

The non-gay one. Not that freak with the big ears either! What in the hell does he do now? He talks for a living, what a loser.

I have a wooden stool carved by one of my brother-in-laws, which is very nice. Plus, I just buy everything on the bottom shelf, cheaper that way.

My glowing was a accident that I had happen when I was younger and fell into a nest of faeries. Apparently faeries don't like being called "weeeeee little things" by someone they consider short by magical standards.

We hobbits don't dance, we make merry. There was no merry making in that movie.

I do not understand your question, put the ale down and ask again in the morn.

*****

He lost in a game of rock, paper, scissors, spock.

I am not Bilbo Baggins! I am Durfel Longbottom of Bywater! To answer your question, the one that doesn't make me look like I have man-love running down my chin.

when is the "ask a hippie" thread coming, eden?

Is it true that Megan Fox is a Hobbit?

Just to check, I put her name into the Lord of the Rings Name Generator Lord of the Rings Name Generator - Lord of the Rings Jewelry | Lowest Prices!

and it came out as:

Brwbrylla 'the Old' Goodbody of the Shire ...so whether she is or isn't, she should definitely keep her mouth shut

What happened to Sting when Frodo left the Shire for good?

Is it your birthday yet? I want presents!