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Someone to clean my bathroom
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And sadly, the pickins are slim in these parts. It may be YEARS before I get laid again by someone other than a hooker. All the women 'round these parts attend the Baptist college down the street. It looks like a Sarah Plain and Tall look-alike contest. |
A 32 oz. Diet Coke and a 2x pepperoni 2x sausage pizza from this amazing place nearby.
I would actually GET this and be happy but i'm too damn lazy and broke |
Some body conscious nearby.
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I'd ask for something cold and alcoholic, but I'd probably end up with my friend's ex-wife.
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a hug.
i just really need a fucking hug. |
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I'd ask for something cold and alcoholic, but I'd end up with a dead alcoholic. I want something cold and alcoholic. |
I have no idea how I could be happier.
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syrup de hydrocodone
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Something with a fried egg on top of it.
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A new bed would definitely make me extra happy right now. This one sucks. A lot. |
Detachable gills.
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sleeping in my own bed
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A super hot bath.
And I fink I just might have one in a bit. |
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A caramel macchiato from Starbucks. But I'm not going anywhere in this rain.
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Kisses. Lots of 'em.
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Having her here.
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for my fucking clutch in my fucking mower to fucking work........
john deere pain in the ass i tell ya' |
You knew how to turn it on?
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hell ya'.........just found out i blew the clutch.......$200 bones later......
damn it. |
If you could call me Stuart.
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To be lose about 40lb overnight, and have the metabolism and appetite reduction to keep it off.
Alternatively, if I could learn to love exercise, that would also be good! |
if someone would mix all this fucking Farm Jam IV music for me.......
gonna take me forever..............but i guess that's a good thing |
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I'd like to get tired right now
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Hey! I guess I should have joined in earlier... I'm not just sarcastic but also cynical and jaded too. I'd probably be happier if I wasn't. |
A beach, a joint, a big soft blanket and my dog.
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oh yeah........sign me up.........and don't forget the wobbly pops |
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*sigh* I'm so old. Right now what would make me happy iiiiiiiissss......... ...the ability to fly. That'd be cool. Plus it's really nice outside this morning. |
I'd love to be able to move back home where my family and friends are.
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Banishing all the insipid smilies (emoticons), lols, wtfs, lmaos..etc,
to the Island of misfit toys, and then onwards to the ninth circle of hell. |
spooning
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**raises hand**
I'll get the ice cream ... |
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no more online inter-relationship sniping on interweboards
a fig newton a bowl of oatmeal |
My girlfriend, firmly implanted with my tongue.
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id like to twang a hippy on the nose with my finger.
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Someone to wash my back in the shower I'm going to take in a moment would be nice..
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