drd

Hey, i have this stupid joke in my head and have to get it out

Crack

Tilted Humor - Tilted Forum Project - TFP - Sexuality, Philosophy and Political Discussion

aaaaaaand... go

__________________
Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex.

~Halx

drd

ok thanks,,, so what kind of underwear does the grim reaper wear?

---------- Post added at 10:11 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:03 PM ----------

he wears fruit of the gloom !

Savinkov

**applause**

Nice. Incredibly silly, but nice.

__________________
"What is the thing we crave most in life? The sense that someone somewhere remembers and loves us.
Even better if we love them in return. Anything can be endured if that idea holds fast." -- Martin Cruz Smith, RED SQUARE

telekinetic

.....

I know a drd. Are you him?

__________________
twisted no more

sourgirl

Buwhahaha! Very punny!
\luvs puns

---------- Post added at 10:04 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:03 PM ----------

Hay..Is that bowie in your Avatar?..or am I getting old and can't see straight?

__________________
The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.

Crack

__________________
Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex.

~Halx

Plan9

You remind me of the babe...

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Punk.of.Ages

Late night TFP....

Fuck a bar!

__________________
"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

cdwonderful

what babe?

__________________
Never try to teach a pig to whistle
it wastes your time,
and annoys the pig.....

lostgirl

The babe with the power.

__________________
We're about to go through the crucible, but we'll come out the other side.
We always arise from our own ashes. Everything returns later in its changed form. - Children of Dune

cdwonderful

what power?

__________________
Never try to teach a pig to whistle
it wastes your time,
and annoys the pig.....

lostgirl

The power of voodoo.

__________________
We're about to go through the crucible, but we'll come out the other side.
We always arise from our own ashes. Everything returns later in its changed form. - Children of Dune

Baraka_Guru

Who do?

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Jetée

__________________
As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves.

—Mohandas K. Gandhi

cdwonderful

you do....

__________________
Never try to teach a pig to whistle
it wastes your time,
and annoys the pig.....

FuglyStick

__________________
AZIZ! LIGHT!

carrot glace

lol, love this pic

__________________
"blaine is a pain and that is the truth"

lostgirl

do what?

__________________
We're about to go through the crucible, but we'll come out the other side.
We always arise from our own ashes. Everything returns later in its changed form. - Children of Dune

cdwonderful

remind me of the babe....

__________________
Never try to teach a pig to whistle
it wastes your time,
and annoys the pig.....

carrot glace

are you talking about charlotte's web?

__________________
"blaine is a pain and that is the truth"

BadNick

is that what she call it?

Crack

__________________
Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex.

~Halx

cdwonderful

now ya got it!

__________________
Never try to teach a pig to whistle
it wastes your time,
and annoys the pig.....

uncle phil

hello, hello...

is there anybody out there?

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

cdwonderful

pink floyd? what a sissy color....

__________________
Never try to teach a pig to whistle
it wastes your time,
and annoys the pig.....

SSJTWIZTA

whats brown and rhymes with snoop?



Dr. Dre

__________________
First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller

uncle phil

purple haze?

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

BadNick

Sunshine Superman

uncle phil

mellow yellow...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

BadNick

hey, talk about smoking bananas, here's a joke:

A man is working on the buses collecting passenger tickets.

He rings the bell that tells the driver it's OK to go, when there's a woman half getting on the bus. The driver pulls away, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the man is sent down for murder and seeing as it's Texas he's sent to the electric chair. On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.

"Well" says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?" "Yes" answers the executioner. "Can I have that green banana?"

The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till he's eaten it. When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive. The executioner can't believe it.

"Can I go?" the man asks. "I suppose so" says the executioner, "that's never happened before."

The man leaves and eventually gets a job back on the buses selling tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair. The executioner is determined to do it right this time so rigs the chair up to the electric supply for the whole of Texas.

The bloke is again sat in the chair. "What is your final wish?" asks the executioner. "Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch ?" says the condemned man. The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch. Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears the man is still sat there smiling in the
chair. The executioner can't believe it and lets the man go.

Well, would you believe, the bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this
time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again. The executioner rigs up all United States electricity supply to The chair, determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling.

"What's your final wish ?" asks the executioner. "Well" says the man, "Can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch.?" The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin included. The executioner pulls the handle and a brazillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a burn mark.

"I give up" says the executioner, "I don't understand how you
can still be alive after all that?". He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that green banana isn't it" he asked.

Nahh" said the bloke,

"I'm just a really bad conductor"

uncle phil

/me gags on the banana, slips on the peel, falls down the steps, slides under the wheels, and hides in the shadows...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

BadNick

This joke reminded me of Jetée:

There were two lovers, who were really into spiritualism and reincarnation. They vowed that if either died, the other one remaining would try to contact the partner in the other world exactly 30 days after their death.

Unfortunately, a few weeks later, the young man died in a car wreck. True to her word, his sweetheart tried to contact him in the spirit world exactly 30 days later.

At the seance, she called out, "John, John, this is Martha. Do you hear me?"
A ghostly voice answered her, "Yes Martha, this is John. I can hear you." Martha tearfully asked, "Oh John, what is it like where you are?" "It's beautiful. There are azure skies, a soft breeze, sunshine most of the time."

"What do you do all day?" asked Martha. "Well, Martha, we get up before sunrise, eat some good breakfast, and there's nothing but making love until noon. After lunch, we nap until two and then make love again until about five. After dinner, we go at it again until we fall asleep about 11 p.m."

Martha was somewhat taken aback. "Is that what heaven really is like?" "Heaven? I'm not in heaven, Martha." "Well, then, where are you?" "I'm a rabbit in Arizona."

uncle phil

oh, dear...

nick's looking up at the precipice...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

BadNick

H...E...L...L...O O O O up there !!!! how about throwing a rope down here?

uncle phil

some are still busy pissing up it...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

BadNick

...especially in Egypt...or Mexico...

uncle phil

nick, you're thinking "kiss a pig," right?

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

BadNick

I have done that...but she was sort of nice.

cdwonderful

its teach a pig to whistle
it wastes your time and annoys the pig...

__________________
Never try to teach a pig to whistle
it wastes your time,
and annoys the pig.....