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-   -   A new approach to health and nutrition. (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-fun-zone/14214-new-approach-health-nutrition.html)

cchris 06-30-2003 09:11 AM

A new approach to health and nutrition.
 
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it .Don't waste them on exercise.Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies.What does a cow eat? Hay and corn.And what are these?Vegetables.So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.Need grain?Eat chicken.Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop.

Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?
A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories:animal, mineral, and vegetable.We all know that beer and wine are not animal, and they are not on the periodic table of elements,so that only leaves one thing, right?My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables.

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one.If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry.My philosophy is: No Pain...No Pain.

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening.Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it.How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not!When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger.You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?HELLO ..... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!!"It's the best feel-good food around!"

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. Have a cookie... flour is a veggie!

One more thing... "When life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt."

platypus 06-30-2003 02:48 PM

Whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger. Not lifting weights doesn't kill me. Therefore not lifting weights makes me stronger.
- Jack Handey

Ogre840 07-04-2003 05:28 PM

ive been living by that for a long time... just allways assumed it was true, now i have proof... i mean, its on the net so it must be true!

Fremen 07-04-2003 05:57 PM

I always knew chocolate was good for me. *ahhh.....good times*

Frowning Budah 07-04-2003 07:13 PM

You may be my personal trainer.

BBtB 07-05-2003 11:00 AM

Er were is that from?

Fly 07-05-2003 07:28 PM

i wanna hear more on this beer scenario.


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