uncle phil

who the fuck is "ELP?"

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Tophat665

Ring: Fell screaming into the sky

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

ottopilot

TH665: While playing his Sousaphone, he stumbles and drowns in his own spit ... a mysteriously frozen spit-valve was said to have caused the abnormal back-pressure releasing years of viscus rental-instrument backwash directly into his windpipe.

If it's a band, could be Emerson, Lake, and Palmer. They had only a few top 40 hits in the 70's, but were very big in technical progressive rock circles. Each member is generally considered a virtuoso for their time among other musicians. Most well-known commercial song is probably "Lucky Man"... not very typical of most their stuff.

__________________
"It rubs the lotion on Buffy, Jodi and Mr. French's skin" - Uncle Bill from Buffalo

Tophat665

ottopilot performed on Guillotine. (What a scene, what a scene.) Evidently the show does end.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

uncle phil

my bad...i should have known that...

top caught his arm in a beer-labeling machine and it wouldn't let go...

a piece of him can be found secreted into the ink of at least 25% of home-brewed bottle labels on the delmarva peninsula...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Tophat665

The 7 virgins and a Mule proved to be too taxing for Phil's heart.
/ Keep it cool, keep it cool.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

ottopilot

Tophat: learned too late the perils of bestiality.

__________________
"It rubs the lotion on Buffy, Jodi and Mr. French's skin" - Uncle Bill from Buffalo

Tophat665

Ottopilot - Petted a burning dog

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Baraka_Guru

Tophat...whose blind date was actually Medusa.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Tophat665

(What, you've never gotten stoned with a date before?)

Baraka Guru - sat on and smothered by Carl Rove.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Baraka_Guru

(There's a difference in getting stoned with and getting stoned by....)


Tophat: Accidentally swallowed a nanobot whose primary capability is rendering white blood cells into helium.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

SSJTWIZTA

Accidentally? i dont think so. That whole scenario wreaks of murder.

Mr. Guru: Heard muttering "hockey sucks and beavers can kiss my ass" out loud...
... in public.

__________________
First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller

Tophat665

True, but everybody must get stoned.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

ottopilot

tophat:
Struming your pain with his fingers
Singing your life with his words
killing you softy with his song
killing you softly with his song
telling your whole life
with his words
killing you softly with his song

__________________
"It rubs the lotion on Buffy, Jodi and Mr. French's skin" - Uncle Bill from Buffalo

Tophat665

SSJTWIZTA: Pressed the History Eraser Button.

ottopilot: Asked Sonny Landham how his work in Big Abner qualified him for the Senate. Was found hanging from a tree with a mic stuck up his ass.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

ring

Tophat665: The Harlequin Romance police busted down the wrong door.

ottopilot

ring: accepted the pizza delivery from the giant roach on the Orkin commercial.

__________________
"It rubs the lotion on Buffy, Jodi and Mr. French's skin" - Uncle Bill from Buffalo

Tophat665

Ottopilot - Sewn into a sack with a rabid otter.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

ottopilot

was there "in-sack" HBO?

tophat: pricked with an unsterilized sewing needle

__________________
"It rubs the lotion on Buffy, Jodi and Mr. French's skin" - Uncle Bill from Buffalo

Fly

Top..........



pirahna tank.....(picture it Top,i known you can).......


little bit of feeding going on.......droppin' the mice in........weren't ya' Top?........and than all of a sudden.












WHAM!!!!!!!!







the pirahna,your pets,loved,prized fish...........jump right out for the mouse you'd been dangling overhead like a fool.......they just needed that taste Top.......what were you thinking?

i miss you man.........and the sad thing in it all........all the fish latched on in a frenzy,outside the tank you were standing beside.........you fell down your stairwell..........(shitty luck that was i guess).....and all the damn fish died too...........

__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios

Tophat665

Fly: Visited worlds largest Bong, with a circumfrence of over 10 feet, a height of nearly 15 stories, a 14 bushel bowl, and a shotgun that has to be lifted out with a construction crane. Tried to tak a hit off it and fell in. Was he pushed? Was it an accident? Or did he dive? Well never know, but it took over 14 hours of surgery just to get the smile off of his face.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

ottopilot

The Top Meister drowned in his own stream of consciousness

__________________
"It rubs the lotion on Buffy, Jodi and Mr. French's skin" - Uncle Bill from Buffalo

Tophat665

*blub*
Ottopilot dragged to a wordy, watery grave by a revenant Tophat.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Fly

Top found religion.

__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios

uncle phil

fly was caught banging his drum too slowly...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Tophat665

Yeah, it was in the back of dad's closet, behind the rifles. Too bad that one was loaded and went off and killed phil.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Tully Mars

Top cut off Jack Nicholson in traffic and died after 57 blows to the head with a nine iron. Even the though the event was caught on video- a California jury acquitted Jack after it was shown the gloves used in the attack didn't match his shoes that day.

BTW- why am I always killing off Top?

__________________
I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo

Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

Tophat665

You always hurt the one you love.

An unidentified masked man pulled the beating heart out of Tully Mar's chest, threw it on the ground, and stomped all over it, while singing the Oregon Beavers' fight song, off key.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

ring

poor poor Top,
he sits on the equator's fenceline,
waiting in limbo for a long long time,
whilst the water gushes and swirls
unable to make up its mind,
which direction,
to
flush.

Ourcrazymodern?

I can...not...do it?
Too much of life & love, but
- appreciation.

__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

ring

The wringlings of my bardo mate,
become louder.

I cannot, nor wish to flee.

Tophat665

Ourcrazymodern, and the beloved ring, have shuffled off this mortal coil, poisoned by an excess of regard.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

uncle phil

top lives!

in that jar full of pickled eggs at the far corner of the bar...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Tophat665

Phil has pressed the history eraser button, removing himself from all of time.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

ottopilot

Top was mistaken for Helen Reddy one too many times.

__________________
"It rubs the lotion on Buffy, Jodi and Mr. French's skin" - Uncle Bill from Buffalo

kramus

ottopilot made the unfortunate decision to wear his brand new fish costume to the polar bear parade.

__________________
And now to disengage the clutch of the forebrain ...
I'm going with this - if you like artwork visit http://markfineart.ca

uncle phil

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

ottopilot

Uncle Phil forgot to disable the air bag in your car when he stole your stereo.

__________________
"It rubs the lotion on Buffy, Jodi and Mr. French's skin" - Uncle Bill from Buffalo

Tophat665

ottopilot flew into a severe thunderstorm that materialized out of nowhere in the tropical Atlantic. Probably would have survived if he had not been listening to tapes of Edith Piaf, as it is well know that mid Atlantic thunderstorms are fueled by the ghosts of sunken German U-Boats and have a pathological hatred of all things French.

/ too soon?

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

ItWasMe

OurCrazyModern rowed and rowed and rowed his boat gently down the stream, hit the rapids, and eventually went over Niagara Falls. But survived, as he is immortal.

EDIT:
Oopsie, I was reading an OCM post when I posted that one. So ...

Tophat watched too many episodes of Little House on the Prairie, cried himself a river, and drowned.

__________________
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .


"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez

I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe