Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Chatter > Tilted Fun Zone


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 10-31-2009, 01:16 PM   #481 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
Ourcrazymodern?'s Avatar
 
Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
"She's just jealous," the Satyr replied, "my cousin loses a lot of time, retrograde."

"Ah," said Gymtastic, "I see."

Silenus, however, could tell the whateverman was blinded by lust, & attended the powers-that-be.
__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT
Ourcrazymodern? is offline  
Old 11-01-2009, 08:42 AM   #482 (permalink)
 
ring's Avatar
 
Location: ❤
TACO bristled and sputtered at the continuing she reference.
Summoning his best Truman Capote impersonation, he said:

"Dearest Silenus, I think it's time to tell you to go pet your own feline."

James Cant-Hear-You shouted:
"My kingdom for a Q-Tip!"

Willing Captive Wench unsheathed her sword.

Pirate noticed her stance and unflasked his flask. After swallowing a large gulpful,
he re-corked & said to himself, "This is going to be a something."

Wench twirled the sword above her head while proclaiming:
"Watch what a she can do."

They watched.

"Oh my lands!," Jim spoke louder than he needed to,
"You've beheaded the Great Pumpkin."
ring is offline  
Old 11-01-2009, 11:35 AM   #483 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
Ourcrazymodern?'s Avatar
 
Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
"It was time," she said. "It's not as though his seeds weren't ripe."

"But he wasn't focused!"

TACO said, "He ain't, anymore."
__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT
Ourcrazymodern? is offline  
Old 11-01-2009, 12:47 PM   #484 (permalink)
 
ring's Avatar
 
Location: ❤
"Time for the garlic salt." he concluded.

The two fire-bugs drew straws as to who would start the conflagratory roasting fire.

Silenus won. Winsome Wench conceded gracefully.

Jim Cutlery cut up the pumpkin with his Leatherman tool.
It was a virgin experience for both of them.

The flames began to lick.
ring is offline  
Old 11-02-2009, 01:00 PM   #485 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
Ourcrazymodern?'s Avatar
 
Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
Cantsuare suddenly jumped up & licked his tool.

"I'm more excited than I've ever been!" He said.

"Tend to business," said Silenus, "& try to get the job done."

Cantsatisfy acceded, even though he didn't know what that meant.

"There's a storm a'comin'" he said. "I can feel it!"

TACO chuckled.
__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT
Ourcrazymodern? is offline  
Old 11-03-2009, 02:36 PM   #486 (permalink)
 
ring's Avatar
 
Location: ❤
"Where's my manual?" Cant-wing-it demanded.

Rhodes sensed his fellow manual clutcher's pain, from twenty miles away.

He asked #3 if they could turn the vehicle around.

"Certainly." he nodded his approval, and gunned it.
ring is offline  
Old 11-03-2009, 03:27 PM   #487 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
Ourcrazymodern?'s Avatar
 
Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
Desiree cried.

"What about my babies?" she demanded.

"They'll be alright, miss," assured #3, "we have bigger things to attend to."

"But my brain hurts!" said Desiree.
__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT
Ourcrazymodern? is offline  
Old 11-03-2009, 04:13 PM   #488 (permalink)
 
ring's Avatar
 
Location: ❤
Desiree sank back comfortably against the head rest.
Her demeanor had changed.

"Can you hear the beautiful music?" she serenely asked Rhodes and #3.

Leaning forward from the backseat, Rhodes asked, "What music?"

#3 apologetically turned the radio off. "What was playing I don't consider music."

Time took a hush moment for the three travelers.

Desiree smiled and whispered:

"It's a symphony I now recognize. My babies are all talking at once inside my head."

#3 laid a reassuring hand on her thigh, and said:

"As they become more mature, perhaps they will learn to take turns speaking."

Desiree replied:

"All is as it should be this moment, it always is, no sense in rushing what can't be rushed."

Rhodes tucked Jim's manual safely inside his jacket.
He let the road noises lull him.
ring is offline  
Old 11-03-2009, 07:33 PM   #489 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
Ourcrazymodern?'s Avatar
 
Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
Obviously overtired, he realized he had forgotten something.

"You touched my sister's thigh, didn't you?" he asked of #3.

"Yes, I did, but I assure you it was clinical."

Rhodes tried to respond, but there came only a twitch, & he realized that...he'd been drugged.

Desiree giggled, entranced.

#3 drove on.
__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT
Ourcrazymodern? is offline  
Old 11-04-2009, 08:51 AM   #490 (permalink)
 
ring's Avatar
 
Location: ❤
Jim Cantilever rocked back on his heels when he saw headlights in the distance.

Silenus admired his amazing balancing act.

Pirate asked, "Is this the storm you predicted?"

Wench was weary and looked around for a chair.

Cantilever offered his lap.

TACO willingly played step-stool.
ring is offline  
Old 11-04-2009, 12:52 PM   #491 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
Ourcrazymodern?'s Avatar
 
Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
He liked to watch.

Silenus asked Pirate, "Do you just want to watch, or would you rather get busy?"

Pirate responded, "I'm waiting for the Wench, no offense."

Then #3 came skidding in.
__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT
Ourcrazymodern? is offline  
Old 11-04-2009, 04:11 PM   #492 (permalink)
 
ring's Avatar
 
Location: ❤
Wench surreptitioulsly slipped her right hand into her jacket pocket,
searching for a dental dam.

Pirate never missed a flinch.
He said to her:

"Can't it wait, my fulsome filly?,
Action and Adventure are coming in for a landing, at our feet, as we speak."

Wench wedged the dam into place just in time.

The rest of the tribe ate #3's dust, as he skidded the vehicle sideways for effective
affect.

Desiree questioned his maneuverings.

"I thought it best to create a smokescreen darlin" he humbly gave her puppy dog eyes.

Silenus' advanced taste buds were categorizing the dust particles.

"Ah..a heady dose of coriander with undertones of cinnamon."

TACO's breast stroke flailings, eventually provided him a space to breathe.

Rhodes emerged from the vehicle first.
He'd attached a dun coloured hanky to the manual he held overhead,
hoping it would trigger a surrender friendly incoming response.

Jim Corporeal began to tremble.
ring is offline  
Old 11-04-2009, 06:14 PM   #493 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
Ourcrazymodern?'s Avatar
 
Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
"I don't know what to do with this, but I can't just let it go," he thought.

#3 jumped from the vehicle:
"Out of my way, Wench, I'm trained in these matters."

Wench was offended, but at least wasn't choking on the dust.

"I wish someone had trained you to drive," she said.
__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT
Ourcrazymodern? is offline  
Old 11-05-2009, 02:34 PM   #494 (permalink)
 
ring's Avatar
 
Location: ❤
"We come in peace, bearing gifts, my friends." Rhodes said, as he handed
the manual to Jim Cant-Thankyou-Enough.

Desiree presented Jim with a box of store-brand cotton swabs.
She curtsied and said, "I hope these will suffice, Sir Allweather whatever."

TACO watched with glee as #3 handed him a beautifully gift wrapped package
of garlic salt.

"Let's eat!, cried Stallion.

"Whoa, Stallion has arrived just in time for the feast!" They all shouted in unison.

The seeds were perfectly toasted and ready.

Everyone clasped hands, bowed their heads, and recited:

"Thank you, Great Pumpkin, for providing us with good brain food."
ring is offline  
Old 11-05-2009, 03:12 PM   #495 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
Ourcrazymodern?'s Avatar
 
Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
Soon enough, they all realized what #3 had known for hours:
What feels good might drive insane.

"Let's go!" he said, "I was afraid of this."

The others clambered into the emergency vehicle, but couldn't decide who might drive.

"I'll drive," said Stallion.
__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT
Ourcrazymodern? is offline  
Old 11-05-2009, 05:03 PM   #496 (permalink)
 
ring's Avatar
 
Location: ❤
Desiree puzzled, "It's been four hours, already?"
ring is offline  
Old 11-06-2009, 09:13 AM   #497 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
Ourcrazymodern?'s Avatar
 
Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
Stallion nuzzled her hair: "Just help me steer & we'll get where we're going."

"Who are all those people, & what are they doing back there?" she asked as she took the wheel.
__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT
Ourcrazymodern? is offline  
Old 11-06-2009, 03:36 PM   #498 (permalink)
 
ring's Avatar
 
Location: ❤
Stallion leaned over for Desiree's ears only and whispered:

"We're transporting a load of adrenaline addicts, without
the sirens or lights on, capiche?"

Desiree's brows furrowed.

"Are they suffering?, she said as she gripped the wheel tighter,
"Can't you give them just a smidge of a jolt?"

Stallion's trigger finger began to itch.

"Sure, why not, I could use a volt or two myself, truth be told."

He flipped a half a seconds worth.
ring is offline  
Old 11-07-2009, 05:01 PM   #499 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
Ourcrazymodern?'s Avatar
 
Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
"Cool," thought Stallion, "there's a fundament @ work!" Then he realized he was under the influence of Desiree's spores & slammed on the brakes.

Luckily, Desiree had control of the wheel, & was able to avert disaster.

Unfortunately, those in the back were distracted, & could not avoid the tumble forward.
__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT
Ourcrazymodern? is offline  
Old 11-07-2009, 05:15 PM   #500 (permalink)
 
ring's Avatar
 
Location: ❤
Desiree glanced to her left and noticed Wench's legs dangling over the front seat.

"I love your shoes, Ms. Wench, where did you find them if I may ask."

A muffled reply came from beneath the tangle of flesh.

"I saw them sticking upright after an avalanche, and snagged them."

Pirate nodded his head up and down in his downward position.

"My Wench has an eye for the best booty, I'll attest to that."
ring is offline  
Old 11-08-2009, 01:18 PM   #501 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
Ourcrazymodern?'s Avatar
 
Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
"I think you should help your brother," said Stallion, "unless you'd rather go shoe-shopping."

"I'm fine," mumbled Rhodes, from somewhere within the pile.
__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT
Ourcrazymodern? is offline  
Old 11-08-2009, 02:18 PM   #502 (permalink)
 
ring's Avatar
 
Location: ❤
TACO was moaning.
"Please get your arm off my face, I can't breathe."

"Who do you mean?, a few of them grumbled.

TACO bit down hard, to find out.
ring is offline  
Old 11-10-2009, 08:03 AM   #503 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
Ourcrazymodern?'s Avatar
 
Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
"Mother of God!" He squealed, "That was mine, & it wasn't my arm. Get off me, you buffoons!"
Jim Cantorcanhe took offense: "I'm not a buffoon, I'm a weatherman."
"I feel like a buffoon," said #3, "& I haven't been trained for this."
"I'd like to help you fellas," said Wench, "but my heels are stuck in the shoulder belt."
__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT
Ourcrazymodern? is offline  
Old 11-11-2009, 11:18 AM   #504 (permalink)
 
ring's Avatar
 
Location: ❤
"I'd be glad to help," Desiree reached for the shoes, "I'll keep them safe for you."

Rhodes calmly, yet firmly announced:
"TACO is hemorrhaging, I can't move."

Louden & Merrick, having scented a rescue,
were almost upon the vehicle.
ring is offline  
Old 11-11-2009, 07:51 PM   #505 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
Ourcrazymodern?'s Avatar
 
Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
They efficiently jimmy(well)'d the back doors & got the "victims" out,
then sat back, panting.
Stallion's resistance to the effects of her spores incensed Desiree as he said, "Well done, men's best friends."
She retorted, "Am I chopped liver?"
"No," he replied, "but it appears #3 is unconscious. Have you any ideas?"
__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT
Ourcrazymodern? is offline  
Old 11-12-2009, 12:28 PM   #506 (permalink)
 
ring's Avatar
 
Location: ❤
Louden and Merrick began to drool at the mention of liver.

Stallion raised his voice:
"TACO needs a tourniquet."

Silenus offered:
"Here, use my tail."

Wench complimented:
"Nice shade of purple."
ring is offline  
Old 11-14-2009, 11:52 AM   #507 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
Ourcrazymodern?'s Avatar
 
Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
"...It looks like you've been using it well."
Silenus almost managed a blush.
TACO allowed that his bleeding hard was almost stanched.
"You may untwist your tail from mine, now, cousin!"
"I have a request," said Wench.
"I have one that might take priority," said Desiree.
Rhodes, unhappy that he'd spent time, tried to tend to #3.
"You've been trained, & we need your help," he breathed into his ear, "big time."
#3 coughed up a little.
__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT
Ourcrazymodern? is offline  
Old 11-15-2009, 08:39 AM   #508 (permalink)
 
ring's Avatar
 
Location: ❤
...into his handkerchief.

"A laudable effort," Stallion granted, "but ineffective, the spores have affected
all of you...

"Mortals?" Pirate interjected.

Jim Contaminate, didn't move.

TACO piped up:
"No, not again!"

"Don't worry," Wench comforted, " I sense he's only momentarily mortified."
ring is offline  
Old 11-16-2009, 03:32 PM   #509 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
Ourcrazymodern?'s Avatar
 
Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
"I can fix that," she said, & went to work.
Pirate felt a little funny, watching, but TACO gave him comfort.
"Thanks," Pirate said, "do you think we'll ever make it to the ER?"
"Do you think we need to?" countered the little guy,
"Roof," said Merrill.
__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT
Ourcrazymodern? is offline  
Old 11-20-2009, 01:40 PM   #510 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
Ourcrazymodern?'s Avatar
 
Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
A noxious cloud came down the mountain(?).
An eerie silence fell.
Those on the roof congratulated themselves, having saved both dogs.
"I'm a little disturbed by your changing your name." said Desiree, "but thank you."
"Good," woofed Merrick.
__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT
Ourcrazymodern? is offline  
Old 11-20-2009, 01:50 PM   #511 (permalink)
 
ring's Avatar
 
Location: ❤
"I'll change my name to Lourdes," Louden said," Perhaps a we can expect
a healing miracle or three, or seven." He concluded.

"Why three or seven?" asked his brother Merrick.

"I prefer odd numbers." Lourdes answered.

"Aint that the truth." Desiree agreed.
ring is offline  
Old 11-20-2009, 01:57 PM   #512 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
Ourcrazymodern?'s Avatar
 
Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
Stallion, from above: "My haunches are cramping; I'm gonna wing it & try to find your parents."
"Come down here for a second," called Desiree, "I have a message for them."
__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT
Ourcrazymodern? is offline  
Old 11-20-2009, 02:03 PM   #513 (permalink)
 
ring's Avatar
 
Location: ❤
"Actually, I have 34 messages for them," Desiree corrected her self,

"33 of them are from their grandspores. I need pen & paper, please.
This might take a few whiles to transcribe, do you mind waiting, Stallion?"
ring is offline  
Old 11-20-2009, 02:09 PM   #514 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
Ourcrazymodern?'s Avatar
 
Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
"I have little but time, dear," said Stallion, checking his watch.
Desiree realized time was of the essence, and translated the song in her head a bit faster.
__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT
Ourcrazymodern? is offline  
Old 11-20-2009, 02:16 PM   #515 (permalink)
 
ring's Avatar
 
Location: ❤
#3's gallant assistance was appreciated.

"Why thank you kindly, my intended," Desiree swooned,
"It might be best if you acccompany Stallion,
so you can formally ask Snoddi for my hand."

"Thank you for appeasing my traditionalist bent, Miss Dez."
ring is offline  
Old 11-20-2009, 04:01 PM   #516 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
Ourcrazymodern?'s Avatar
 
Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
"Two fathers-in-law might abrogate my training." he considered, "but even given her unusual hair, I will try more learning for her."

Stallion snorted appreciatively & said, "Mount up!"

They took off in a blue light, & Desiree shed a tear & a prayer.
__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT
Ourcrazymodern? is offline  
Old 12-02-2009, 04:06 PM   #517 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
Ourcrazymodern?'s Avatar
 
Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
"Don't forget what we've done & try not to dampen my ass!"
__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT
Ourcrazymodern? is offline  
Old 12-12-2009, 03:05 PM   #518 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
Ourcrazymodern?'s Avatar
 
Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
The Cousin was enjoying the ride, but Gymnastic Cunnilingus, riding the contrails, clutching Stallion's tail, was no longer sure which way was up or down, let alone where the next front was coming from.
__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT
Ourcrazymodern? is offline  
Old 12-21-2009, 09:55 AM   #519 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
Ourcrazymodern?'s Avatar
 
Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
"Ah, well," he said to himself, "I've done it before," & let go, his slicker flapping unusually vigorously.
"I should send out some solstice cards," said Taco.
__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT
Ourcrazymodern? is offline  
Old 12-28-2009, 04:47 PM   #520 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
Ourcrazymodern?'s Avatar
 
Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
Stallion couldn't decide: "Should I drop him off somewhere he can mail his cards, or where he'll be safe until he wakes up?"
Rhodes expected better.
"My (expletive)," he said, "I think you've misconstrued the problem!"
Stallion snorted. "Son, I've got to show you something."
__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT
Ourcrazymodern? is offline  
 

Tags
extemporaneous, story


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 03:31 PM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360