|
are better than contracting the BoogieWoogie flu.
Blind cheeta's are |
... still faster than I am, but much more likely to hit a tree at 70 mph.
Deaf leopards, on the other hand, are... |
..usually an opening act for a Ted Nugent revival tour.
Windows v3.11 is... |
... DOS in a bad candy wrapper.
Krypton is... |
actually, was, the largest singular mass in the known universe before rending itself asunder. Evidence of it's size is plain due to the staggering amount of debris found even on planets light years away.
Wax is... |
...packaged and marketed by mr. zog.
altoona is... |
... Charlie the Toona's wierd old uncle.
Mayonnaise is.... |
... the glue that holds the sandwhich of our lives together.<p>Morning wood is...
|
....the glue that holds the sandwhich of our lives together
Jared's diet method is........... |
... the same as everyone else's who has actually lost weight: eat less and excercise more.
Sandwiches are... |
...descendants of the duke of earl.
sausages are... |
........great for saturday mornin' breakfast.
soft boiled eggs are............ |
...not as soft as you'd think.
Styrofoam is... |
...made out of peanuts and stuffed in boxes to keep stuff from rattling around and falls out when you open the box and gets stuck to stuff all over the place and makes you C R A Z Y!!!
"bouncing betty" is... |
...illegal in 37 states.
Cream of mushroom soup is... 2Wolves |
...often mistaken for pumpkin pie a la mode.
christmas eve is... |
Like Summer's Eve, but chilled. (Brrrrr...)
Santa Claus is... |
...over.
a(n) heterodyne is... |
... not a component of my Onkyo THX receiver or is it?<p>Little yellow diiferent is...
|
...is deferential only to mauve.
your worst fear is... |
...is coming up right behind you right now. LOOK OUT!
using all caps is... |
...bad for the fedora makers of America.
Styrofoam is... 2Wolves |
... per George Carlin, plastic encapsulated beer farts.
Ordering takeout pizza at four in the morning with 5 of your drunken friends is... |
...likely to result in triple gouda and double sardine nightmares.
Static electricity is... 2Wolves |
...immobile.
nirvana is... |
Quote:
Alcohol addiction is... |
.......for alcoholics...
8 inches of snow is........ |
Something my home town will never see.
100 feet of snow is... |
......a cold hell....
Godzilla is.... |
...tojo's nightmare.
a sharp stick in the eye is... |
...quite an eye sore to behold.
A rubber chicken is... |
...a faithful friend who wont put you down!
A good film is... |
...only a membrane.
absolute zero is... |
...an empty vodka bottle:(
stepping in a pile of slush is... |
...substantially better than stepping in a pile of fresh dog poo.
lighting your hair on fie is... |
.....when you are too drunk,and right after stepping in the dog poo,you try to light a smoke and,well,you fuckin' miss cuz you're pissed about the damn dogshit and ,you end up lightin' your hair on fire.
coffee and kahlua is............ |
a tasty eye opener.
Waking up to a sink full of dirty dishes is... |
...far too normal an occurance!
Going to work on the train is... |
...no doubt better than walking to work.
Farting on the train is... |
necessarily carried out discreetly.
Something that is unseen is... |
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