|
a great place to read obscure news
Newspapers are... |
great blankets when you're asleep on someone's lawn.
Tug boats are |
a good place for a lesbo porno shoot.
The Man Show is... |
my only reliable source of vanessay kay
fathers day is/was... |
one of 365 days in a year.
The moon is... |
...pretty far away, I've heard.
Rush Limbaugh is... |
a big fat idiot.
Howard Stern is... |
a fucked up freak.
weiners are..... |
good on buns.
Pink lemonade is |
better than yellow lemonade.
calculators are |
helpful in math class
New York is.... |
my kind of town.
paper plates are..... |
nothing unless they are Chinette.
AOL Instant Messenger is |
pissing me off!
Chuck Norris is... |
a horrible actor.
The 4th of July is |
the day after the 3rd of july.
Christmas is |
The day my grandma was born. Oh, and that Christ guy too.
Macguyver is... |
making a bomb out of some chicken wire and toothpaste.
Bottled water is |
better than drinking from a ditch.
Darth Vader is... |
not my father.
Yoda is |
Ponch, now and forever.
CHiPS is... |
chips written with capital letters in weid places.
My keyboard is... |
really old, all the letters are starting to come off :( .
John Tesh is |
a wanker.
Wall to wall shag carpet is |
...great for losing loose change in.
baseball bats are... |
not dildos.
anne rice is... |
is not a dish to be served if you are expecting the cops over. Nor is any rice dish made with woman with any other first name.
a dog is... |
humping my leg.
The carpet is... |
shagg
schoolgirls are... |
too young
The blondes on fox news are... |
nowhere near as asthetically pleasing as Minx's
Celine Dion is |
some guy.
Catherine Bell is... |
looking mighty nice!
Meridae'n is .... |
yet another dude.
Your mom is... |
someone who used to be a dude.
Berilium is |
spelled wrong.
Sanford and Son is |
...now off the air.
funky winkerbean... |
is a great porn name.
God is |
an opinion.
the color black is.... |
a bit darker then white.
Captian America is.......... |
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