|
07-31-2003, 06:17 AM
|
#81 (permalink) |
|
Right Now
Location: Home
|
peet|working: How can you tell if salami goes bad?
Hanxter: hehehe Hanxter: it stinx cheers|notZzZ: it doesn't smell right cheers|notZzZ: it is fuzzy JadzWork: it robs a store cheers|notZzZ: it is colors it should not be cheers|notZzZ: the cat runs in terror Hanxter: melts in yer mouth cheers|notZzZ: you vomit copiously after consuming it JadzWork: does drugs on the street corner with hoodlums Hanxter: not in yer hand peet|working: gee thanks. cheers|notZzZ: welcome  peet|working: I'm laughing too hard to type JadzWork: gets brought home by the police in the middle of the night Hanxter: don't mention it Hanxter: AGAIN! redravin: sleeps with your sister cheers|notZzZ: LOL redravin: and gives her clap Hanxter: applause? cheers|notZzZ: red, you're gonna hurt me!@ Last edited by Peetster; 07-31-2003 at 06:19 AM.. |
|
|
08-11-2003, 06:49 PM
|
#83 (permalink) |
|
Everything's better with bacon
Location: In your local grocer's freezer.
|
bones> wrkime
wrkime> bones wrkime> we meet again * ogre840 gets popcorn "this should be good" bones> the streets will flow with the blood of the nonbelievers * wrkime smiles nervously and curls up in the corner sucking his thumb and humming the Czech national anthem *** Signoff: KWSN (Quit: KWSN ÜBER ALLES) * bones marches over to wrkime, pulls out a hacksaw, an "i like ike" campaign button, and a vile full of a mysterious blue liquid resembling the stuff they clean combs with at the barber shop bones> yes....we meet again * wrkime jumps up forcing bones to drink the blue liquid and cuts off both of Bones' thumbs ogre840> sounds like the Ultimate fight has been reborn... only this time its bones and Wrkime * wrkime then bitchslaps Bones lieka 3 dollar whore YourNeverThere> been there bones> owwwwwww, sneak attack!!! bones blows his whistle and his army of monkeys on wheels comes in armed with water balloons filled with feces and a jar of pop rocks wrkime> AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YourNeverThere> hahah * redravin drops a net over Bones and wrkime and then drops them in a care of rabid oranutanges wrkime> NOT POP ROCKS!!!! bones> redravin doesnt realize i am one with the monkeys wrkime> crap wrkime> I am so screwed YourNeverThere> hahahahah MrFlux> heh poked my dog in the eye accidentally (he closed it first), but it serves him right because he jumped in my foot and stabbed me with his claws MrFlux> hehe * wrkime thinks quickly and begins to act like a monkey...sadly this only attracts the dominant male to wrkime and mating begins bones> the monkeys make a tower like those families in spain do and i hop on top, and jump off holding the perfect pancake maker bones> flying towards wrkime, i open up the pan ready to clamp down on his face wrkime> I turn * redravin turns a firehose loaded with Mr. Bubble and Mountain dew on Bones wrkime> Bones gets the dominant male's ass in the pancake maker bones> NOOOOOOOOO it reacts with the pop rocks and i start to convulse wrkime> the dominant male is not pleased bones> i cant stop...popping....must reach...my utility belt... wrkime> the dominant male begins to assrape Bones * bones reaches his utility belt and pulls out a minature clone of ben vareen and order him to tap dance on wrkimes nuts wrkime> FOOL I have no nuts...oh crap that's not a good thing to yell bones> little ben climbs into wrkimes pants as i put the needle on the victrola the monkey was carrying in his backpack wrkime> I'll pretend it hurts bones> little ben, finding there are no nuts, climbs into the nearest cavity he finds and camps out wrkime> oof wrkime> that's rather uncomfortable *** Signoff: YourNeverThere (Ping timeout: 204 seconds) wrkime> my urethra wrkime> OOOWWWWW bones> i look at my stop watch and realize its only 30 seconds before little ben's self destruct timer is set to go off bones> i climb out of the orangutan pit and cover my ears wrkime> thinking quickly I masturbate furiously ejaculating little ben onto Bones' face wrkime> I run bones> awwwwwwwwwwwww oooohhhhhhh wrkime> BOOOMM bones> my face wrkime> the orangutans are in awe of my ejaculatory power wrkime> they take my side bones> realizing i have no face, i pop in the movie face off and watch it for pointers...2 hours later, i hijack a hospital, make a doctor switch my face with alfonso ribero's and set the place on fire wrkime> BURNING...It Burns!! bones> i do the carlton dance atop the pit and take in the smell of burning monkeys bones> i love the smell of rotting primates in the morning *** Signoff: Melllvar ((null)) MrFlux> hahahah wrkime> remembering the movie Darkman...I flail about knocking over some flammable liquids causing an explosion that launches me into a nearby river extinguishing me wrkime> A few months later, I come back, scarred and beaten down with nothing left to lose bones> i go over to shake wrkime's hand * wrkime looks at Bones' hand...wonders where are the thumbs? bones> just shake it wrkime> shaking the hand bones> but he doesnt realize that in the hospital when they swtiched my face, they also gave me alfonso's penis on my right hand...so wrkime has just given alfonso a hand job, bones yells "quitsies, no starties, touch blue make it true triple stamped it" bones> i win wrkime> OH MY GOD IT'S A BOMB!!! wrkime> it's not a penis bones> its a bomb ass penis wrkime> oh wait it is a penis wrkime> gross * bones walks away feeling like he won but realizes that he has a penis for a hand and cries wrkime> well...now I need a shower
__________________
It was like that when I got here....I swear. Last edited by wrkime; 08-11-2003 at 06:54 PM.. |
|
|
|
08-11-2003, 11:18 PM
|
#84 (permalink) |
|
Practical Anarchist
Location: Yesterday i woke up stuck in hollywood
|
< lady> OMFG
< lady> My f*cking dog just just jumped on my bed and lifted his fricking leg < lady> and PISSED ON MY BED &%#*$( < YourNeverThere> HAhahahahaha < WhoaitsZ> HAhahahaha
__________________
The Above post is a direct quote from Shakespeare Last edited by YourNeverThere; 08-11-2003 at 11:22 PM.. |
|
|
|
08-12-2003, 10:02 PM
|
#85 (permalink) |
|
green
|
[01:59] < MrFlux> does DC stand for Da Capital?
[01:59] < ogre> lol [01:59] < MrFlux>  [01:59] < ogre> District of Columbia [01:59] < KWSN> District of Columbia [01:59] < Fob_Magi> District of Columbia [01:59] < MrFlux> bahaha [01:59] < ogre> JINX [01:59] < MacGnG> lol [01:59] < ogre> you both owe me a cock! [01:59] < Cobalt_60> =0 [01:59] < ogre> coke**** [01:59] < KWSN> HAHAHAAHA COCK [01:59] < ogre> fuck [01:59] < ogre> fuck fuck [01:59] < KWSN> BEST TYPO EVARRRrrrrr
__________________
Your arms are broken! |
|
|
|
08-16-2003, 12:05 AM
|
#86 (permalink) |
|
Banned
Location: 'bout 2 feet from my iMac
|
01:01 < h2g2Fan> My favorite sitcom character? Chandler
01:01 < zps2> i ynt. 01:02 < zps2> my fave 01:02 < zps2> the dude who ends of killing chandler BWUHAHAHA 01:02 < YourNeverThere> chandlers dead? 01:02 <%cheers> oh good one Z 01:03 < h2g2Fan> yeah, he died in the last episode 01:03 <%cheers> blow the story for him  01:03 < YourNeverThere> really? 01:03 < YourNeverThere> fuck 01:03 < YourNeverThere> what happened? 01:03 < zps2> HAHAHA 01:03 < h2g2Fan> could you be any more gullible? 01:03 < YourNeverThere> aw crap and i just told my friend 01:03 <%cheers> LOL 01:03 < zps2> HAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHAAAAAA 01:04 < YourNeverThere> i hate \this room |
|
|
|
08-17-2003, 09:37 PM
|
#89 (permalink) |
|
The sky calls to us ...
Super Moderator
Location: CT
|
[1:21am] MrFlux> i'm never healthy
[1:21am] MrFlux> although i did take the dog for a walk today [1:21am] MrFlux> he needs more walks [1:21am] MrFlux> he's a fatty [1:23am] MacGnG> walking the dog is good [1:23am] Antagony> I chase my dog with big sharp things. [1:23am] MacGnG> good excercise for everyone [1:24am] Thraeryn> This is why I hang out with you guys. |
|
|
|
08-17-2003, 09:42 PM
|
#90 (permalink) |
|
The sky calls to us ...
Super Moderator
Location: CT
|
[1:37am] Antagony> I'm watching a documentary on Wesley Willis
[1:37am] Thraeryn> Who? [1:38am] Antagony> Wesley Willis is a 300+ lb black man with chronic schizophrenia who makes weird-ass music on a cheezy keyboard [1:38am] Antagony> He is totally awesome! [1:39am] Antagony> Thraeryn: He has a huge callous in the middle of his forehead because he greets people by headbutting them. [1:41am] Thraeryn> Oh, yeah, I've actually heard of him. |
|
|
|
08-31-2003, 11:39 AM
|
#91 (permalink) |
|
Loser
Location: With Jadzia
|
The topic is: WorldsKing> my penis = Microsoft
[09:38] floonine> is worldsking implying that his penis is a monopoly... [09:38] Snoogans> or small and limp [09:38] floonine> or that everyone hates it and the only reason anyone uses it is because there is nothing else [09:38] redravin> it will screw up anything it touchs? [09:39] Gang|Pikmin> it's still in beta, he says [09:39] Snoogans> it stops working from time to time [09:39] redravin> or it just sort of works but not really [09:39] floonine> but if anyone uses it without his permission he will sue? [09:39] floonine> in that case, lesbians are like linux [09:40] floonine> so cool to look at, but no one would know what to do if they got one in front of them [09:40] Snoogans> really cool, but you have no idea how to use it? [09:40] floonine> well me, yes [09:40] floonine> and my penis [09:40] floonine> I'm a mac guy [09:41] Gang|Pikmin> so you are inept ad being useful? [09:41] floonine> yeah, and fine with the fact that no one else is compatible with me [09:41] Gang|Pikmin> but you look pretty |
|
|
|
09-04-2003, 10:40 PM
|
#94 (permalink) |
|
bAck iN aCtiOn!
Location: in my imagination
|
MrFlux: dickbend is uncomfortable.
Ganguro: dickbend, isn't that in North Dakota? WhoaitsZ: that deserves quoting... WhoaitsZ: the dickbend one. MrFlux: which dickbend one? Ganguro: wtf dickbend
__________________
I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III. Don't hesitate to call. ~Vash, Trigun >'.'< kitty kitty, meow ^..^~ Last edited by ariekitten; 09-04-2003 at 10:52 PM.. |
|
|
|
09-07-2003, 01:24 PM
|
#95 (permalink) |
|
Loser
Location: With Jadzia
|
It was a slow Sunday, what can I say
[13:00] KWSN Yarr, today has been quite the unproductive of days [13:00] *** phredgreen is now known as phred|royalnavy [13:00] phred|royalnavy- priates? [13:00] phred|royalnavy> pirates [13:00] KWSN> and I wouldn't have it any other way [13:00] KWSN> Avast, the royal navy! [13:00] * phred|royalnavy primes his cannons to use against pirates [13:00] KWSN> yarr, we could sink yer whole batallion in one fell swoop [13:01] * KWSN prepares to board phred|royalnavy's ships [13:01] * KWSN sharpens his scimtar [13:01] shalafi> arrr ramming speed [13:01] *** KWSN was kicked by phred|royalnavy (cannoned) [13:01] *** KWSN has joined #tfp [13:02] KWSN> Yarr, you think you've won this time, Royal Navy [13:02] shalafi> prepare to be boarded ya scurvy navy dogs [13:02] phred|royalnavy> knock the wind out of your sails yet? [13:02] KWSN> But I'll prove ye wrong! [13:02] KWSN> Yarrr! ATTACK! [13:02] * redravin loads his cannons with hot shot and chain [13:02] * KWSN swings across and slices phred|royalnavy's achilles with his scimitar [13:03] KWSN> Yarrr, try firin' a cannon now, landlubber! [13:03] * phred|royalnavy laughs... i have scimitar-proofed converse hightops on! [13:03] * shalafi jumps over and chops royal swabbies int kibbles [13:03] * redravin fires his cannon and sets KWSN's sails on fire [13:03] KWSN> DAMMIT! [13:03] *** WorldsKing has joined #tfp [13:03] * KWSN slices phred|royalnavy's throat instead [13:04] WorldsKing> Howdy Y'all [13:04] shalafi> arrr wk [13:04] phred|royalnavy> no luck. the royal navy demands we ware these impossibly highnecked uniforms [13:04] KWSN> yarrr, I doubt ye be havin' a scimitar-proof turtleneck! [13:04] * redravin throws grappling hooks and boards KWSN's ship [13:04] phred|royalnavy> uncomfortable as they may be, they protect much better than your vest. [13:04] * KWSN laughs at redravin's futile attempts, as he is on Phred's ship now [13:04] * phred|royalnavy runs kwsn through with his ceremonial asskicking blade [13:04] * shalafi thwaps phred|royalnavy with a belaying pin [13:05] * KWSN sighs [13:05] phred|royalnavy> my big tricornered hat deflects the hit [13:05] KWSN> Yarrr, god dammit [13:05] * KWSN dies nobly [13:05] shalafi> doh this pirates life is hard [13:05] phred|royalnavy> and you thought the uniform was purely ceremonial... [13:05] KWSN> don't you mean... yo-ho-ho? [13:05] * redravin sets kwsns ship on fire and sends it to Davy Jones locker [13:05] WorldsKing> What the hell is goin' on? [13:06] * shalafi runs away screaming like a little girl but lives to plunder another day [13:06] * KWSN , despite being dead, cries at the sight of his ship sinking [13:06] phred|royalnavy> this wonder of wool is the best protection out there [13:06] * redravin gives world king a bottle of rum and an eye patch [13:06] KWSN> Yarrr, you win this time [13:06] KWSN> but my first mate shalafi will have ye someday! [13:06] WorldsKing> Oh... it's pirate day. [13:06] KWSN> damn right it is [13:06] shalafi> arrr every day is pirate day matey [13:06] shalafi> like.....dug [13:06] shalafi> duh even [13:07] peacy> Sorry guys, but what's pirate day? [13:07] *** phred|royalnavy changes topic to '<WorldsKing> Oh... it's pirate day.' [13:07] * redravin sticks sulfer matches in his beard and loads his flintlock pistols [13:07] WorldsKing> Now evryone will know [13:08] shalafi> maybe canukian/valley/pirates - like....arrr.....eh [13:08] * redravin maroons KWSN on a little island with only seagulls to play with [13:09] *** noe has joined #tfp [13:10] WorldsKing> Poor seagulls... stuck with KWSN [13:10] * phred|royalnavy feels sorry for kwsn, so he throws a volleyball onto the island for kwsn to befriend [13:10] *** noe has quit IRC (Client Quit) [13:10] KWSN> yarrr, you'll pay for this [13:11] KWSN> the whole lot of you landlubbers [13:11] redravin> yo ho yo ho....wheres my ho's? [13:11] WorldsKing> lubber? [13:11] KWSN> Avast! Be that a beacon over yonder? [13:12] WorldsKing> I need a new hobby [13:12] * redravin takes his ho's and a bottle of rum into his cabin [13:12] KWSN> Yarrr, 'tis but the sun glintin' off the sea [13:13] KWSN> Yarrr, I be afk for a while [13:13] KWSN> ahoy, tfp-ites [13:13] *** KWSN is now known as KWSN|marooned |
|
|
|
09-09-2003, 02:30 PM
|
#98 (permalink) |
|
Junkie
|
17:17:50 <WorldsKing> Did he pay well?
17:18:03 <Antagony> Haven't seriviced him yet 17:18:12 <Silvy> congrats Ant! 17:18:25 <%cheerios> that sounds dirty 17:18:30 <Antagony> haha
__________________
"Fuck these chains No goddamn slave I will be different" ~ Machine Head |
|
|
|
09-29-2003, 07:22 PM
|
#100 (permalink) |
|
Know Where!
|
<-- Lasereth|TFP has quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
--- airSADISTIK45 is now known as peer (MacGnG) NOOOO (MacGnG) i wanna be peer! (MacGnG) damn u (peer) BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHHA! <-- peer has quit (Killed (services.irvingnet.net (Nickname Enforcement))) (MacGnG) HAHA (MacGnG) now that is funny! (MacGnG) someone set that as the topic! (MacGnG) sweet, sweet revenge! |
|
|
|
09-29-2003, 08:10 PM
|
#101 (permalink) |
|
lonely rolling star
Location: Seattle.
|
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
__________________
"Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials." -Lin Yutang hearts, by d.a. |
|
|
|
09-29-2003, 08:12 PM
|
#102 (permalink) |
|
Know Where!
|
(sadistik) if i cant be peer.....
--- sadistik is now known as God (MacGnG) haha (MacGnG) hmmm (MacGnG) struck by lightining yet? (God) dare you laugh at me? (merk) god....damn...scroll....wheel...work (God) I will damn it! DAMN IT TO HELL! (-- God has quit (Killed (services.irvingnet.net (Nickname Enforcement))) (MacGnG) HAHA (mog) heh |
|
|
|
09-29-2003, 08:21 PM
|
#103 (permalink) |
|
Know Where!
|
MacGnG: what abut jesus?
--- AntiSatanismist is now known as Jesus Jesus: im a mexican. for real Jesus: DIESS! Jesus: so how are you, my children? -- Jesus has quit (Killed (services.irvingnet.net (Nickname Enforcement))) MacGnG: haha juanvaldes: laughing my ass off... MacGnG: he's mexican merk: damnit... |
|
|
|
01-18-2004, 06:07 PM
|
#106 (permalink) | |||||
|
Banned
Location: UCSD, 510.49 miles from my love
|
Quote:
Quote:
#2 is funny if youve been around for a while... __________________ Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Last edited by numist; 01-18-2004 at 08:19 PM.. |
|||||
|
|
|
01-18-2004, 08:19 PM
|
#108 (permalink) |
|
The GrandDaddy of them all!
Location: Austin, TX
|
KWSN: speaking of dick implants.... i'm hungry
PHP Code:
__________________
"Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." - Darrel K Royal Last edited by The_Dude; 01-18-2004 at 08:23 PM.. |
|
|
|
01-18-2004, 10:39 PM
|
#109 (permalink) |
|
Go Ninja, Go Ninja Go!!
Location: IN, USA
|
01:31] Spinach_Indeed: My mom ussed to be. Shew hates me drinkin
[01:31] Spinach_Indeed: benjamin franklin had to have sex [01:31] Spinach_Indeed: he had like.. [01:31] Spinach_Indeed: 9 kids [01:31] Bekkle: My dad is a drunk too. So was my uncle, but he committed suicide [01:31] Bekkle: Ben Franklin. Man, I'd like to screw him [01:32] GakFace: hehehe [01:32] KWSN: i screwed him once [01:32] Original_King: Now I feel really bad for drinking. [01:32] Bekkle: SEX-y [01:32] KWSN: he was a good lay ------------------------------------------------------------- [01:51] * KWSN is the best girlfriend ever ------------------------------------------------------------- [04:15] SecretMethod70: ah DUH [04:16] SecretMethod70: why didn't I think... [04:16] SecretMethod70: in Gimp it's under motion blur... [04:16] SecretMethod70: and in there there is a selection linear radial and zoom [04:16] SecretMethod70: oops [04:16] SecretMethod70: wrong window [04:16] GakFace: hehe.. i was getting confused [04:16] SecretMethod70:
__________________
RoboBlaster: Welcome to the club! Not that I'm in the club. And there really isn'a a club in the first place. But if there was a club and if I was in it, I would definitely welcome you to it. Last edited by GakFace; 01-19-2004 at 01:17 AM.. |
|
|
|
01-19-2004, 04:58 PM
|
#111 (permalink) | ||
|
Banned
Location: UCSD, 510.49 miles from my love
|
This was The_Dude masquerading with nicks on #tfp, when suddenly, in a privmsg:
Quote:
Quote:
Last edited by numist; 01-19-2004 at 05:01 PM.. |
||
|
|
|
01-20-2004, 03:41 PM
|
#113 (permalink) |
|
The GrandDaddy of them all!
Location: Austin, TX
|
PHP Code:
__________________
"Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." - Darrel K Royal |
|
|
|
01-21-2004, 02:57 AM
|
#114 (permalink) |
|
Banned
Location: OlyWa
|
{The_Dude} this wont take long
{The_Dude} but before I die {The_Dude} TEXAS SUCKS! --- SecretMethod70 has changed the topic to: http://www.tiltedmagazine.com {The_Dude} TEXAS SUCKS! {SecretMethod70} hahahahaha {Ogre} #tfp quotes here it comes! {The_Dude} thank you |
|
|
|
01-24-2004, 05:26 PM
|
#119 (permalink) |
|
The sky calls to us ...
Super Moderator
Location: CT
|
[19:57] * nhanced1 is very similar to a fat free potato chip.
[20:00] epsilonomega> nothing does a body good like refined pork fat [19:57] epsilonomega> Canada sucks! [19:57] * Tinfoil-2 takes after epsilonomega with a hockey stick [20:24] epsilonomega> Why the fuck would you read DMX lyrics? |
|
|
|
01-24-2004, 08:36 PM
|
#120 (permalink) |
|
The GrandDaddy of them all!
Location: Austin, TX
|
PHP Code:
__________________
"Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." - Darrel K Royal |
|
|
| Tags |
| #tfp, quotes |
|
|
