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View Poll Results: Am I dead?
I stabbed you with a fork. On the fork the words "Property of Mental Health Dept" 4 16.00%
You have Cancer. Lots of people die of cancer. You are just one of them. Get over it. 1 4.00%
The gas leaked -then you did. Very unbecoming. 1 4.00%
Why do you jaywalk? You leave very big dents on cars. 2 8.00%
There are X's over your eyes and your mouth is sewn shut. You smell too much for me to answer. 3 12.00%
Blam! Blam!BLAM! Why did you need that 3 dollars in your wallet? Should I say more? 1 4.00%
You were homeless. You made a nest in a "Tunnel". A Drcomputer rerouted the sewage. 1 4.00%
Turbo, from American Gladiators thought you had a nice tight earhole. 4 16.00%
Dude, you confused Alcoholics Anonymous with Cannibals Anonymous. Last time you make that mistake. 3 12.00%
Morrison, Hendrix and someone not as great -You -drown in your own vomit 5 20.00%
Voters: 25. You may not vote on this poll

 
 
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Old 02-16-2007, 07:42 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Am I Dead?

This is a poll that is really hard to answer. Sometimes I think that you are all ghosts living in a quantum state known as subdeath.

I am using scatomancy to discover the truth. The truth is Murky. And that! -Is why I created this thread... I am consulting the spirit world.

Wat'd'ya'dink?

Last edited by Astrocloud; 02-16-2007 at 08:28 PM.. Reason: It's not me, You are dead. :x
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Old 02-16-2007, 08:08 PM   #2 (permalink)
through charlatans phone
 
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this is exactly the reason I nominated you for king of the universe......
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Old 02-16-2007, 08:13 PM   #3 (permalink)
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No, you aren't dead. You are just a solipsist.
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Old 02-16-2007, 08:19 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Good evening,

I recommend carpomancy

They are surprisingly excellent conversationalists.

All I know is that one of us is dead.

Wash your hands when you’re done scatomancing.
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Old 02-16-2007, 08:27 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Some mornings its just not worth gnawing through the leather straps.
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Old 02-16-2007, 08:45 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I hear murmers but I'm still not clear on the concept.

Does anyone have any brains?



Brains!!!!

Last edited by Astrocloud; 02-16-2007 at 08:55 PM.. Reason: I need BRAINS!!!!
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Old 02-17-2007, 06:30 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Astrocloud
Does anyone have any brains?
sorry, none here.......
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Old 02-17-2007, 06:47 AM   #8 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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your brain on drugs:


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Old 02-17-2007, 06:55 AM   #9 (permalink)
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wow man..........look at all the pretty colours.
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Old 02-17-2007, 08:21 AM   #10 (permalink)
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That looks like "my baseball on drugs."

/Dock Ellis
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Old 02-17-2007, 10:39 AM   #11 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
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If we're all really ghosts in a state of sub-death, there's nothing to worry about. OR IS THERE?
E. coli fight with each other all the time, so I hope you're using rubber gloves in your research!
(I like the pretty colors, too, up!)
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Old 02-18-2007, 07:44 PM   #12 (permalink)
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SubDead, I hear your whispers and am uncertain about their meaning.

I have a new tool at my disposal. Many of you may be familiar with the psychic cup sold at walmart.

My new tool is a much better predictor:

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Old 02-19-2007, 08:49 AM   #13 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
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Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
Well, they share letters in common.
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Old 02-20-2007, 05:59 PM   #14 (permalink)
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I call it "The Oracle"

So if I'm going to visit the Oracle -you know what I'm talking about.

The nature of SubDeath has been revealed to me.

Subdeath is the Root. Here is an image of your bloom:



We go through this existence,
Like Roots for the Bloom,
Our death is our substance,
Our flower our Tomb.
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Old 02-20-2007, 06:06 PM   #15 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
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Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
I have a similar picture with my name on the tombstone. It is a thing of prophecy.
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Old 02-23-2007, 06:00 AM   #16 (permalink)
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I visited the oracle today.

Forcast is rain.
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Old 02-23-2007, 07:40 AM   #17 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
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Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
The younger son tells me I need not be so amazed.
The forecast here's for snow.
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Old 02-23-2007, 08:51 PM   #18 (permalink)
Fly
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Astrocloud
I call it "The Oracle"

So if I'm going to visit the Oracle -you know what I'm talking about.

The nature of SubDeath has been revealed to me.

Subdeath is the Root. Here is an image of your bloom:



We go through this existence,
Like Roots for the Bloom,
Our death is our substance,
Our flower our Tomb.



man.....am i ever glad you showed up again Astro.........great post

.....even if you are dead.
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Old 02-25-2007, 07:03 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Does anyone want a reading? I am giving readings.
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Old 02-25-2007, 07:15 PM   #20 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
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Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
Are you getting them out of the poop or the toilet or the oracle?
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Old 02-25-2007, 07:46 PM   #21 (permalink)
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OurCrazyModern? I find your subdeath musings -confusing. I am assuming that your answer is that you want a reading... Very well.

Your existence is composed of many little things followed by two very big things.
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Old 02-25-2007, 08:09 PM   #22 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
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Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
Since the clean-up comes after, the two big things must be the hearse and the garbage-truck. Name three of the many little things, and this should be easy.
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Old 02-25-2007, 08:17 PM   #23 (permalink)
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The little things are somewhat loosely defined.

Shall I go on?
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Old 02-26-2007, 06:22 AM   #24 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
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Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
If you would, please, understanding one! Being sub-dead, and with all the local oracles buried in the snow makes it very hard to see.
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Old 02-26-2007, 07:51 AM   #25 (permalink)
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Very well, the little things in your existence are smelly and your reading has clogged up the Oracle.

I must use the magic wand to go further.

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Old 02-26-2007, 08:11 AM   #26 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
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Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
Very well, if you must. Wait, isn't that what they call the strange male elephant heat? Fearful, now, of this state of sub-death I exist in, I submit: Very well, if you need to. (I thought the oracle gave the answers.)
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Old 02-26-2007, 09:06 AM   #27 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ourcrazymodern?
Very well, if you must. Wait, isn't that what they call the strange male elephant heat? Fearful, now, of this state of sub-death I exist in, I submit: Very well, if you need to. (I thought the oracle gave the answers.)
Thanks to your reading the oracle was backed up. Maybe that means you will have a very long existance but it also could mean that you frequently create blockages.
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Old 02-26-2007, 09:36 AM   #28 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
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Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
I was afraid of that. Composed mostly of water I had no idea, since the oracle is made of (virtual)-granite. Oh...the tool! Porcelain!
the quality of mercy is not strained, uber-dead.
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Old 02-26-2007, 12:08 PM   #29 (permalink)
Fly
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try as you may Astro.........you'll never get a read on me man.
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Old 02-26-2007, 01:31 PM   #30 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
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Since oracles have no plumbing, confusion reigned. Granite, porcelain, a hole in the ground with strainers? What dost thou above sub-death want with us anyway?
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Old 02-28-2007, 08:26 PM   #31 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fly
try as you may Astro.........you'll never get a read on me man.
You are soft and mushy with bits of corn here and there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ourcrazymodern?
Since oracles have no plumbing, confusion reigned. Granite, porcelain, a hole in the ground with strainers? What dost thou above sub-death want with us anyway?
Maybe your oracle has no plumbing. Mine has plumbing and roto-rooter when things don't go down.

Last edited by Astrocloud; 02-28-2007 at 08:27 PM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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Old 03-01-2007, 05:46 AM   #32 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
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Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
Confusion reigning, this quantum unit mistook that which wasn't freely given.
If the oracle's unclogged, the little things?
(Why does this remind me of after-hours at camp?)
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Old 03-14-2007, 06:04 AM   #33 (permalink)
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OCM, The little things are brown and squishy.
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Old 03-14-2007, 06:20 AM   #34 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
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Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
And here I thought they might end up identified by you! I'm disappointed.
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Old 03-14-2007, 08:20 PM   #35 (permalink)
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Your not the first to be disappointed by the readings of the toilet. Elvis's wife Pressilla was often disappointed.

There are certain moments when your heart stops beating. Each of these moments is a "near death" experience. Many of them are quite pleasurable -like an orgasm (called a "little death" or petite mort by the French).

A more common death like occurance happens when we are moving our bowels. It's one of the reason that Elvis died the way he did. His heart stopped beating mid bowel movement and never started again. Some say that his final grunt was somewhat musical...

Nevertheless, I had a near death experience when I was on the toilet. I was pushing hard and the loaf must have been the size of a softball or a baby's head. It was halfway out when I became aware of a distant light beyond my bathroom ceiling. I made the mistake of focusing on that for a moment and I fell forward. My head hit my bathtub and I remember that I my awareness was still on the light. I looked down and I saw my body beneath me.

So I floated there for a moment or so and I heard a voice.

"What about the others..." I thought about my wife and my baby girl. I thought about my friends, my fellow tfpers and all the little ones that depend on me. -No, I wouldn't flush this life just yet. Bam, just like that I was back in my body. I had quite a bloody fecal mess to clean up.
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Old 03-15-2007, 06:22 AM   #36 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
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Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
If true, that was huge.
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Old 03-16-2007, 06:17 PM   #37 (permalink)
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Everything I say here is absolutely true.

You are my daughter.
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Old 03-16-2007, 08:22 PM   #38 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
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Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
I had a feeling I was forgetting something...

"Astrocloud's words ring true!" --Giant Hamburger
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Old 03-16-2007, 08:40 PM   #39 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ourcrazymodern?
I had a feeling I was forgetting something...
Yes, and Phil is your uncle...

I have more bad news
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Old 03-16-2007, 08:46 PM   #40 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
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Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge
I can't think of anything more fearful yet fulfilling.

What further will you share?
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