Am I Dead?
 

This is a poll that is really hard to answer. Sometimes I think that you are all ghosts living in a quantum state known as subdeath.

I am using scatomancy to discover the truth. The truth is Murky. And that! -Is why I created this thread... I am consulting the spirit world.

Wat'd'ya'dink?

this is exactly the reason I nominated you for king of the universe......

No, you aren't dead. You are just a solipsist.

Good evening,

I recommend carpomancy
http://community.iexplore.com/photos...otos/carp6.jpg
They are surprisingly excellent conversationalists.

All I know is that one of us is dead.

Wash your hands when you’re done scatomancing.

Some mornings its just not worth gnawing through the leather straps.

I hear murmers but I'm still not clear on the concept.

Does anyone have any brains?

http://www.variagate.com/livd117.jpg

Brains!!!!

sorry, none here.......

your brain on drugs:


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...ainondrugs.jpg

wow man..........look at all the pretty colours.

That looks like "my baseball on drugs."

/Dock Ellis

If we're all really ghosts in a state of sub-death, there's nothing to worry about. OR IS THERE?
E. coli fight with each other all the time, so I hope you're using rubber gloves in your research!
(I like the pretty colors, too, up!)

SubDead, I hear your whispers and am uncertain about their meaning.

I have a new tool at my disposal. Many of you may be familiar with the psychic cup sold at walmart.

My new tool is a much better predictor:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...ncersPotty.gif

Well, they share letters in common.

I call it "The Oracle"

So if I'm going to visit the Oracle -you know what I'm talking about.

The nature of SubDeath has been revealed to me.

Subdeath is the Root. Here is an image of your bloom:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6.../tombstone.jpg

We go through this existence,
Like Roots for the Bloom,
Our death is our substance,
Our flower our Tomb.

I have a similar picture with my name on the tombstone. It is a thing of prophecy.

I visited the oracle today.

Forcast is rain.

The younger son tells me I need not be so amazed.
The forecast here's for snow.

man.....am i ever glad you showed up again Astro.........great post:thumbsup:

.....even if you are dead.

Does anyone want a reading? I am giving readings.

Are you getting them out of the poop or the toilet or the oracle?

OurCrazyModern? I find your subdeath musings -confusing. I am assuming that your answer is that you want a reading... Very well.

Your existence is composed of many little things followed by two very big things.

Since the clean-up comes after, the two big things must be the hearse and the garbage-truck. Name three of the many little things, and this should be easy.

The little things are somewhat loosely defined.

Shall I go on?

If you would, please, understanding one! Being sub-dead, and with all the local oracles buried in the snow makes it very hard to see.

Very well, the little things in your existence are smelly and your reading has clogged up the Oracle.

I must use the magic wand to go further.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...d/plunger2.gif

Very well, if you must. Wait, isn't that what they call the strange male elephant heat? Fearful, now, of this state of sub-death I exist in, I submit: Very well, if you need to. (I thought the oracle gave the answers.)

Thanks to your reading the oracle was backed up. Maybe that means you will have a very long existance but it also could mean that you frequently create blockages.

I was afraid of that. Composed mostly of water I had no idea, since the oracle is made of (virtual)-granite. Oh...the tool! Porcelain!
the quality of mercy is not strained, uber-dead.

try as you may Astro.........you'll never get a read on me man.

Since oracles have no plumbing, confusion reigned. Granite, porcelain, a hole in the ground with strainers? What dost thou above sub-death want with us anyway?

You are soft and mushy with bits of corn here and there.

Maybe your oracle has no plumbing. Mine has plumbing and roto-rooter when things don't go down.

Confusion reigning, this quantum unit mistook that which wasn't freely given.
If the oracle's unclogged, the little things?
(Why does this remind me of after-hours at camp?)

OCM, The little things are brown and squishy.

And here I thought they might end up identified by you! I'm disappointed.

Your not the first to be disappointed by the readings of the toilet. Elvis's wife Pressilla was often disappointed.

There are certain moments when your heart stops beating. Each of these moments is a "near death" experience. Many of them are quite pleasurable -like an orgasm (called a "little death" or petite mort by the French).

A more common death like occurance happens when we are moving our bowels. It's one of the reason that Elvis died the way he did. His heart stopped beating mid bowel movement and never started again. Some say that his final grunt was somewhat musical...

Nevertheless, I had a near death experience when I was on the toilet. I was pushing hard and the loaf must have been the size of a softball or a baby's head. It was halfway out when I became aware of a distant light beyond my bathroom ceiling. I made the mistake of focusing on that for a moment and I fell forward. My head hit my bathtub and I remember that I my awareness was still on the light. I looked down and I saw my body beneath me.

So I floated there for a moment or so and I heard a voice.

"What about the others..." I thought about my wife and my baby girl. I thought about my friends, my fellow tfpers and all the little ones that depend on me. -No, I wouldn't flush this life just yet. Bam, just like that I was back in my body. I had quite a bloody fecal mess to clean up.

If true, that was huge.

Everything I say here is absolutely true.

You are my daughter.

I had a feeling I was forgetting something...

"Astrocloud's words ring true!" --Giant Hamburger

Yes, and Phil is your uncle...

I have more bad news

I can't think of anything more fearful yet fulfilling.

What further will you share?