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Old 03-31-2006, 10:17 AM   #1 (permalink)
Husband of Seamaiden
 
Lucifer's Avatar
 
Location: Nova Scotia
Write the Obituary of the person above you.

Inspired by a discussion on TFP Chat.

Write the obituary of the person above you.
for example:
Ubertuber
ubertuber died getting mashed....as his buttery goodness spilled out onto the pavement..survived by his wife, oreida and his dog, spud... and his son, chip he leaves behind one sibling, TaterTot. He will be laid to rest at McCain's funeral home, there will be a dinner after the wake...potato salad, french fries and hash browns.
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- Job 30:29

1123, 6536, 5321
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Old 03-31-2006, 10:22 AM   #2 (permalink)
peekaboo
 
ngdawg's Avatar
 
Location: on the back, bitch
Lucifer passed away Friday, the 13th of injuries he received in a blazing inferno. He leaves behind his hot-headed wife, Helen and two boys, Beelzebub and Dante.
Lucifer enjoyed barbequing, his Fiero and hot summer nights. In lieu of flowers, his family asks that everyone make a donation in his name to the Mission of Hell's Kitchen.
Friends and family may call at Chili's Funeral Home on Thursday evening. Interment to be in Hell, Michigan at the convenience of his family.
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Old 03-31-2006, 10:28 AM   #3 (permalink)
Husband of Seamaiden
 
Lucifer's Avatar
 
Location: Nova Scotia
Ngdawg died on Thursday afternoon of overexposure. She leaves behind assorted photographic equipment, piles of freshly laundered lingerie, and legions of devoted fans. There will be a candle light vigil at the Eastman Kodak factory, followed by cocktails at Victoria's Secret.
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I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls.
- Job 30:29

1123, 6536, 5321
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Old 03-31-2006, 08:32 PM   #4 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Greenwood, Arkansas
Well, Lucifer's obit was already written, and quite well, so I'll put myself up here for the next one.
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AVOR

A Voice Of Reason, not necessarily the ONLY one.
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Old 04-01-2006, 10:36 PM   #5 (permalink)
Misanthropic
 
Crack's Avatar
 
Location: Ohio! yay!
AVoiceOfReason passed away thursday night after a long battle with AWisperOfInsanity. He Leaves behind 1 son ABurpOfAbsurdity and a wife AScreamOfNonsense. Donations can be made at any 1st National Bank for his memorial charity of which all procedes will be put to use to try and silence the republican party.

Our prayers are with you and your family.
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~Halx
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Old 04-02-2006, 10:28 AM   #6 (permalink)
Junkie
 
SirLance's Avatar
 
Location: In the middle of the desert.
Crackprogram passed away recently when he was electrocuted while attempting to kiss NGDawg through his monitor. This is the 11,347th TFP'er to have been killed in this manner, 3,334 of which were casualties of the recent "Long Goodbye" thread. It is not specifically known which picture was the fatal stroke, but SirLance is betting on the bench shot.

There will be no services, but donations will be accepted by that strange looking guy who hangs out on your streetcorner.
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Old 04-02-2006, 11:15 AM   #7 (permalink)
Coy, sultry and... naughty!
 
Sharon's Avatar
 
Location: Across the way
SirLance passed away today from injuries sustained while creditors were collecting on gambling loans. Anonymous sources have hinted that in a debate about which picture had killed Crackprogram, SirLance had bet on the bench shot, recklessly offering his life as collateral.

A mistake that proved... well, fatal.
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Old 04-02-2006, 12:36 PM   #8 (permalink)
Banned
 
Zeraph's Avatar
 
Location: The Cosmos
Sharon passed away three days ago from injuries of smoke inhalation and 3rd degree burns sustained during a firefight. Witnesses revealed that she had been trying to rescue her cat. Later police confirmed that pirates had started the fire, they had suspected a hive of ninjas had been bedding there.

Services will be held at Funny Funeral house just off of I-11 on monday.
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