Shit on Ryan Seacrest's Star Contest - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

silent_jay · 08-27-2005, 09:48 PM

I find this amusing and I see the point, I mean Seacrest isn't exactly an entertainer nor in my opinion does he deserve a star on the walk of fame. I'm curious to see if he has any takers for the contest or not.

http://assistantatlas.blogspot.com/2...s_archive.html

Quote:

If you're looking for the Executive of the Week post-- sorry. The Executive of the Week will henceforth be announced on Mondays, because I have decided that that is the official beginning of the work week. But Friday is a good day to start this contest.

Yes, that's right, folks. You read that title correctly.

Assistant/Atlas is running a contest to right the cosmic wrong that is Ryan Seacrest's star on the sidewalks of Hollywood. The first person to capture a photograph of the aforementioned event will receive the proceeds of my first check from GoogleAds, about $50.

Now, please review the eligibility requirements and other materials to enter.

In Order to Enter This Contest:
1) You must be over 21, because you'll probably need to be good and drunk in order to think this is a good idea.
2) You must be personally offended by the snowjob that is Ryan Seacrest's star.
3) You must have a sense of humor that would be considered above average as well as a strong constitution-- there is no crying in the "Poop on Ryan Seacrest's Star" Contest.

What You Need to Enter:
1) You, and probably a getaway driver
2) Feces, preferably runny, inside you or a plastic bag
3) A camera

To Win:
You must actually take two pictures as proof. The first should be close on the star-- with Ryan Seacrest's name at least mostly visible-- after the business has been done. The second should be one of you doing the dirty deed, whether it be you squatting or just of you dumping a bag of business. It is acceptable to not show your face or to wear a ski mask during the deed to both avoid prosecution and the inevitable embarrassment of winning. Although, if you're willing to do the deed on a sidewalk in Hollywood, then maybe you're a publicity hound. And that's okay, too.

Please note: Getting a homeless person to do his business on the star will not be accepted! Remember, this is cosmic justice, people. You must be so personally offended by Ryan Seacrest's star that you are going to defile it yourself.

To Assuage Your Worries:

I, Assistant Atlas, promise that I will not show other people, post on the Internet or in any way release, anything but the winning pictures. And for the sick-minded of you out there, please note that I am NOT doing this to satisfy a bizarro people-pooping fetish. I assure that I am much more likely to burn any pictures I receive than to pleasure myself in any way while looking at them.

Please email assistantatlas@yahoo.com for picture-sending instructions. Thank you. . . and good luck!

Zephyr66 · 08-27-2005, 11:09 PM

That has got to be the coolest thing ever. I wouldn't do it, but I'm glad someone's probably going to.

Bill O'Rights · 08-27-2005, 11:22 PM

I'm no Ryan Seacrest fan. Why does he have a "star", anyway? But, that is one of the lowest end things that I have ever seen.

Hey...they're talking about this on "Celebrity Justice", as I write this. If you get caught...you could face a $1000.00 fine, and 6 months in jail. It seems that defecating in public is illegal in Los Angeles. Go figure.

Daniel_ · 08-28-2005, 12:17 AM

What about dumping shit in a bag?

I guess at least they'd get you under the litter laws...

cyrnel · 08-28-2005, 01:01 AM

Surely a just cause.

I would contribute my 5 spot to the perp's legal defense fund. Heck, make it $10 if the poop-pic or at least a poop-pic mention makes national news. Anybody else?

Thank the stars for starving students.

maleficent · 08-28-2005, 07:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill O'Rights

. It seems that defecating in public is illegal in Los Angeles. Go figure.

I suppose that doesn't apply to some of the really shitty movies that Hollyweird puts out...

JumpinJesus · 08-28-2005, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maleficent

I suppose that doesn't apply to some of the really shitty movies that Hollyweird puts out...

Great one, mal!

Seriously, though, why is he getting a star? I vaguely recognize his name, mainly because he does some lame-ass ads for a radio station here in Chicago, but I seriously do not know from where his fame comes. Is he a musician?

guthmund · 08-28-2005, 10:34 AM

C'mon just take a look at his body of work!

He's done some quality stuff. I mean, can anyone forget his phenomenal work in "The Disco Ball : A 30-year Celebration?"

Quality stuff that Ryan Seacrest. Certainly worthy of a star in Hollywood.

Seriously, kind of childish, but still pretty funny.

silent_jay · 08-28-2005, 10:55 AM

My favorite line from his bio has to be this one, if he's the heart and soul of television someone better start the CPR because it needs to be revived.

Quote:

...Seacrest has been the heart and soul of television and in radio for many years...

Catdaddy33 · 08-28-2005, 01:32 PM

If he gets a star than anyone that ever appeared in the background of a "live" newscast should.. That includes me!! Woot!!

What a piece of shit...

Bob Biter · 08-29-2005, 06:18 AM

He surely has a nack for playing "himself" and "host". A shame he was typecast like that.

Whoever actually pulls this off needs to go out on an all-night whiskey/taco binge beforehand. Nothing can beat a good taco-boosted whiskey shit. Nothing.

08-27-2005, 11:22 PM	#3 (permalink)
Bill O'Rights will always be an Alyson Hanniganite Location: In the dust of the archives	I'm no Ryan Seacrest fan. Why does he have a "star", anyway? But, that is one of the lowest end things that I have ever seen. Hey...they're talking about this on "Celebrity Justice", as I write this. If you get caught...you could face a $1000.00 fine, and 6 months in jail. It seems that defecating in public is illegal in Los Angeles. Go figure. __________________ "I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony "Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

08-28-2005, 12:17 AM	#4 (permalink)
Daniel_ Evil Priest: The Devil Made Me Do It! Location: Southern England	What about dumping shit in a bag? I guess at least they'd get you under the litter laws... __________________ ╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗ Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air, And deep beneath the rolling waves, In labyrinths of Coral Caves, The Echo of a distant time Comes willowing across the sand; And everthing is Green and Submarine ╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

08-28-2005, 01:01 AM	#5 (permalink)
cyrnel Adequate Location: In my angry-dome.	Surely a just cause. I would contribute my 5 spot to the perp's legal defense fund. Heck, make it $10 if the poop-pic or at least a poop-pic mention makes national news. Anybody else? Thank the stars for starving students. __________________ There are a vast number of people who are uninformed and heavily propagandized, but fundamentally decent. The propaganda that inundates them is effective when unchallenged, but much of it goes only skin deep. If they can be brought to raise questions and apply their decent instincts and basic intelligence, many people quickly escape the confines of the doctrinal system and are willing to do something to help others who are really suffering and oppressed." -Manufacturing Consent: Noam Chomsky and the Media, p. 195 Last edited by cyrnel; 08-28-2005 at 01:21 AM..

08-28-2005, 10:34 AM	#8 (permalink)
guthmund big damn hero	C'mon just take a look at his body of work! He's done some quality stuff. I mean, can anyone forget his phenomenal work in "The Disco Ball : A 30-year Celebration?" Quality stuff that Ryan Seacrest. Certainly worthy of a star in Hollywood. Seriously, kind of childish, but still pretty funny. __________________ No signature. None. Seriously.

08-29-2005, 06:18 AM	#11 (permalink)
Bob Biter Non-smokers die everyday Location: Montreal	He surely has a nack for playing "himself" and "host". A shame he was typecast like that. Whoever actually pulls this off needs to go out on an all-night whiskey/taco binge beforehand. Nothing can beat a good taco-boosted whiskey shit. Nothing. __________________ A plan is just a list of things that don't happen.

08-27-2005, 11:09 PM	#2 (permalink)
Zephyr66 My custom title's the shit! Location: Canada	That has got to be the coolest thing ever. I wouldn't do it, but I'm glad someone's probably going to.

08-28-2005, 01:32 PM	#10 (permalink)
Catdaddy33 Psycho Location: TN	If he gets a star than anyone that ever appeared in the background of a "live" newscast should.. That includes me!! Woot!! What a piece of shit...