I need some advice - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Tbone12345 · 02-22-2005, 08:09 AM

I am a 30 year woman that had a fairly long dry spell, six years. Yes I think that is considered a drought. I recently had a one night stand and am having conflicting emtions. I'm pretty sure I know the answer to my problem, but sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else. The guy was really cute and very funny and we had a good time. He has my number and I have his. I kind of had a freak out in the morning cause I'm so not used to having a guy in my bed and I basically made him leave after about a half hour. My question is should I call him and apologize for kicking him out or just leave it as a one night stand?

uptown · 02-22-2005, 08:18 AM

In what context did you meet him ?

Averett · 02-22-2005, 08:20 AM

If he's cute and funny and you had a good time, why not call him? Its understandable that you freaked out a bit, theres no shame in that. And theres no shame in a one nighter either.

Give him a call, see how he's feeling. And take it from there. Just don't wait around for his call...

Tbone12345 · 02-22-2005, 08:21 AM

I meet him at a bar, not the best place, but it happened.

Averett · 02-22-2005, 08:24 AM

Hell, you've got to meet people somewhere, right? Makes no difference if it's online or a bar or a coffee shop. There's always the chance you'll meet somebody great, or a mass murderer, right?

uptown · 02-22-2005, 08:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Averett

Hell, you've got to meet people somewhere, right? Makes no difference if it's online or a bar or a coffee shop. There's always the chance you'll meet somebody great, or a mass murderer, right?

I agree..

You might try calling during working hours,that way if you're really uncomfortable you can leave him a brief voicemail message apologizing for rushing him off and indicating you'd like to get together again,then the ball will be back in his court.

Tbone12345 · 02-22-2005, 08:44 AM

That's true. I just don't want him to think that I am a stalker girl and now I have his number and I'll never let him go. I guess I'm afraid of rejection, but how much can it hurt over the phone?

Averett · 02-22-2005, 08:47 AM

Rejection sucks. And we all go through it. If he thinks youre a stalker chick after calling him when he gave you his number, then he's an idiot and it's good you found out now.

Don't play these stupid relationship games. Give him a call, if you get his machine just tell him you had a good time and you'd like to see him again. If he calls back, great, if not, then screw him. If you talk to him, tell him the same thing.

No biggie, no pressure.

Of course, it's all easier said than done

Good luck, and let us know what happens!

sillygirl · 02-22-2005, 08:52 AM

You're not a stalker for giving him a phone call. He gave you his number, right? There ya go. He wouldn't give it if he didn't want ap hone call.

Tbone12345 · 02-22-2005, 08:56 AM

Thanks for the advice, I guess the answer is not always what you think it will be. I will let you know what happens.

Averett · 02-22-2005, 08:59 AM

Did you figure we would all clutch our pearls at the thought of a one night stand?

Tbone12345 · 02-22-2005, 09:03 AM

No I thought everyone would say are you crazy, you don't call a one night stand.

Averett · 02-22-2005, 09:04 AM

Oh, that too

Well, somebody might come along and say that. Who knows. I figure if you liked the guy and exchanged numbers you might as well give it a shot.

Tbone12345 · 02-22-2005, 09:07 AM

Well I guess I should clarify how I got his number. He got my at the bar to call me later. He did several times, so now I have his number. So technically he didn't give me his number with the expectation of having me use it, or at least it didn't appear that way. god I feel like such a loser

uptown · 02-22-2005, 09:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tbone12345

Well I guess I should clarify how I got his number. He got my at the bar to call me later. He did several times, so now I have his number. So technically he didn't give me his number with the expectation of having me use it, or at least it didn't appear that way. god I feel like such a loser

Don't feel that way, I'd just give him a quick call,leave a nice voicemail.If nothing else you'll feel better about having rushed him out the door.I bet he'll be delighted you called and will call you back,as it is he probably thinks you don't want to hear from him again.

superredhead · 02-22-2005, 09:38 AM

you guys had a great time right? so much so that it ended back up at your place. what's wrong with giving him a call? you never know, he might be nervous about calling you. leave a quick voicemail and if he calls you back great

if he doesnt, there are tons of cute guys out there just waiting for ya!

Tbone12345 · 02-22-2005, 09:39 AM

Thank you guy's so much, what a great place this is. Somehow it's easier to talk to you'll then to my friends face to face.

Tbone12345 · 02-22-2005, 10:47 AM

Okay so I called him, unfortunitly he seems totally not interested and little freaked out that I called. However I feel better and can now stop obsessing over what will happen next. I feel better that I apoligized for kicking him out and he seemed willing to accept it. So I will just chalk this one up to a night of fun. I really needed to get that monkey off my back. Thank god I finally got laid. Thanks again lady's.

Averett · 02-22-2005, 10:49 AM

Congrats! Seriously, it takes a lot of guts to put yourself out there like that. At least now you won't be wondering if something will happen with this guy. Instead you're free to go out and find another

Tbone12345 · 02-22-2005, 11:04 AM

Tru dat, you've been a lot of help thanks Averett!

maleficent · 02-22-2005, 11:54 AM

Ok -- gotta ask - was this the same fella who snagged your undies?

Good for you for putting yourself out there and taking a chance... You never know otherwise.

Tbone12345 · 02-22-2005, 12:03 PM

Yes it's teh same guy. It's funny cause I couldn't find the ones I was wearing that night. Thought it was him for sure. Then found them and then had to laugh at myself. Later I went to go put the underwear in question on and they are no longer there. I didn't have the balls to ask him when I called, but damn they weren't cheap!

Squishor · 02-22-2005, 04:54 PM

He took your underwear and he doesn't want to see you again? Oh, I know about guys like that *nods knowingly*

But seriously, you did the right thing. Hey, I had a three-year relationship with a guy who started out as a one-night stand. You have to take chances and it was good that you apologized for rushing him out.

Manuel Hong · 02-27-2005, 03:46 PM

Honey, you put yourself out there, got what you needed (laid) and that's that. Good for you. Don't be so ready to put the scarlet letter on yourself. Fuck the double standard. Go get yourself some cock. If you're looking for a relationship, a one night stand may not be the way, because it's only a one night stand if you don't fuck him again. Nothing wrong with a fuck-buddy either.
Expectations tend to mess with our heads, no?

settie · 03-03-2005, 08:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Manuel Hong

Honey, you put yourself out there, got what you needed (laid) and that's that. Good for you. Don't be so ready to put the scarlet letter on yourself. Fuck the double standard. Go get yourself some cock. If you're looking for a relationship, a one night stand may not be the way, because it's only a one night stand if you don't fuck him again. Nothing wrong with a fuck-buddy either.
Expectations tend to mess with our heads, no?

Exactly! Expectations suck, you just gotta let them go and do what's right for you.
It's awesome that you went out there and took a chance.

02-22-2005, 08:09 AM	#1 (permalink)
Tbone12345 Upright Location: San Antonio, Tx	I need some advice I am a 30 year woman that had a fairly long dry spell, six years. Yes I think that is considered a drought. I recently had a one night stand and am having conflicting emtions. I'm pretty sure I know the answer to my problem, but sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else. The guy was really cute and very funny and we had a good time. He has my number and I have his. I kind of had a freak out in the morning cause I'm so not used to having a guy in my bed and I basically made him leave after about a half hour. My question is should I call him and apologize for kicking him out or just leave it as a one night stand?

02-22-2005, 08:20 AM	#3 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	If he's cute and funny and you had a good time, why not call him? Its understandable that you freaked out a bit, theres no shame in that. And theres no shame in a one nighter either. Give him a call, see how he's feeling. And take it from there. Just don't wait around for his call... __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

02-22-2005, 08:24 AM	#5 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	Hell, you've got to meet people somewhere, right? Makes no difference if it's online or a bar or a coffee shop. There's always the chance you'll meet somebody great, or a mass murderer, right? __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

02-22-2005, 08:47 AM	#8 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	Rejection sucks. And we all go through it. If he thinks youre a stalker chick after calling him when he gave you his number, then he's an idiot and it's good you found out now. Don't play these stupid relationship games. Give him a call, if you get his machine just tell him you had a good time and you'd like to see him again. If he calls back, great, if not, then screw him. If you talk to him, tell him the same thing. No biggie, no pressure. Of course, it's all easier said than done Good luck, and let us know what happens! __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

02-22-2005, 08:52 AM	#9 (permalink)
sillygirl Newlywed Location: at home	You're not a stalker for giving him a phone call. He gave you his number, right? There ya go. He wouldn't give it if he didn't want ap hone call. __________________ Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken ....absence makes me miss him more...

02-22-2005, 08:18 AM	#2 (permalink)
uptown Insane	In what context did you meet him ?

02-22-2005, 08:21 AM	#4 (permalink)
Tbone12345 Upright Location: San Antonio, Tx	I meet him at a bar, not the best place, but it happened.

02-22-2005, 08:44 AM	#7 (permalink)
Tbone12345 Upright Location: San Antonio, Tx	That's true. I just don't want him to think that I am a stalker girl and now I have his number and I'll never let him go. I guess I'm afraid of rejection, but how much can it hurt over the phone?

02-22-2005, 08:56 AM	#10 (permalink)
Tbone12345 Upright Location: San Antonio, Tx	Thanks for the advice, I guess the answer is not always what you think it will be. I will let you know what happens.

02-22-2005, 08:59 AM	#11 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	Did you figure we would all clutch our pearls at the thought of a one night stand? __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

02-22-2005, 09:03 AM	#12 (permalink)
Tbone12345 Upright Location: San Antonio, Tx	No I thought everyone would say are you crazy, you don't call a one night stand.

02-22-2005, 09:04 AM	#13 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	Oh, that too Well, somebody might come along and say that. Who knows. I figure if you liked the guy and exchanged numbers you might as well give it a shot. __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

02-22-2005, 09:07 AM	#14 (permalink)
Tbone12345 Upright Location: San Antonio, Tx	Well I guess I should clarify how I got his number. He got my at the bar to call me later. He did several times, so now I have his number. So technically he didn't give me his number with the expectation of having me use it, or at least it didn't appear that way. god I feel like such a loser

02-22-2005, 09:38 AM	#16 (permalink)
superredhead Crazy Location: Around So Cal.	you guys had a great time right? so much so that it ended back up at your place. what's wrong with giving him a call? you never know, he might be nervous about calling you. leave a quick voicemail and if he calls you back great if he doesnt, there are tons of cute guys out there just waiting for ya! __________________ yawn

02-22-2005, 09:39 AM	#17 (permalink)
Tbone12345 Upright Location: San Antonio, Tx	Thank you guy's so much, what a great place this is. Somehow it's easier to talk to you'll then to my friends face to face.

02-22-2005, 10:47 AM	#18 (permalink)
Tbone12345 Upright Location: San Antonio, Tx	Okay so I called him, unfortunitly he seems totally not interested and little freaked out that I called. However I feel better and can now stop obsessing over what will happen next. I feel better that I apoligized for kicking him out and he seemed willing to accept it. So I will just chalk this one up to a night of fun. I really needed to get that monkey off my back. Thank god I finally got laid. Thanks again lady's.

02-22-2005, 10:49 AM	#19 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	Congrats! Seriously, it takes a lot of guts to put yourself out there like that. At least now you won't be wondering if something will happen with this guy. Instead you're free to go out and find another __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

02-22-2005, 11:04 AM	#20 (permalink)
Tbone12345 Upright Location: San Antonio, Tx	Tru dat, you've been a lot of help thanks Averett!

02-22-2005, 11:54 AM	#21 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	Ok -- gotta ask - was this the same fella who snagged your undies? Good for you for putting yourself out there and taking a chance... You never know otherwise. __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

02-22-2005, 12:03 PM	#22 (permalink)
Tbone12345 Upright Location: San Antonio, Tx	Yes it's teh same guy. It's funny cause I couldn't find the ones I was wearing that night. Thought it was him for sure. Then found them and then had to laugh at myself. Later I went to go put the underwear in question on and they are no longer there. I didn't have the balls to ask him when I called, but damn they weren't cheap!

02-22-2005, 04:54 PM	#23 (permalink)
Squishor Frontal Lobe Location: California	He took your underwear and he doesn't want to see you again? Oh, I know about guys like that nods knowingly But seriously, you did the right thing. Hey, I had a three-year relationship with a guy who started out as a one-night stand. You have to take chances and it was good that you apologized for rushing him out.

02-27-2005, 03:46 PM	#24 (permalink)
Manuel Hong Addict Location: Land of the puny, wimpy states	Honey, you put yourself out there, got what you needed (laid) and that's that. Good for you. Don't be so ready to put the scarlet letter on yourself. Fuck the double standard. Go get yourself some cock. If you're looking for a relationship, a one night stand may not be the way, because it's only a one night stand if you don't fuck him again. Nothing wrong with a fuck-buddy either. Expectations tend to mess with our heads, no? __________________ Believe nothing, even if I tell it to you, unless it meets with your own good common sense and experience. - Siddhartha Gautama (The Buddha)