What do you do when... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

uptown · 04-19-2003, 09:00 PM

you think the dude you love doesn't like your body, I've been working out and dieting and my breasts got small

I don't think he likes small breasts much and this is really bothering me

Plummie · 04-19-2003, 10:23 PM

Have you asked him?

It's best to be honest and forthcoming when you have a concern about something. Especially if you love him. You guys should talk about it.

*Nikki* · 04-20-2003, 05:32 AM

Is this just something you think, or has he actually told you this?

Angel · 04-20-2003, 07:41 AM

There is only ONE person who needs to love your body...YOU!
It is yours to share and it should be received as the gift it is.
If he has a problem with your body, it is just that, HIS problem.

Don't assume that he doesn't like it. Go talk to him. Tell him your fears and get it out on the table. Keeping it inside will only fuel insecurities.

snowy · 04-20-2003, 11:11 AM

It's true that there is only one person who needs to like your body, and that should be you. But it certainly is helpful to know your partner likes your body as well. I would urge you to talk about it with him. You say you've been working out and dieting, so maybe the issue is that he prefers your curvier shape. Either way, you need to bring it up with him immediately, otherwise it will just make you more insecure in the long run.

Atropos4 · 04-20-2003, 07:52 PM

i''m going to have to agree with onesnowyowl...because when i talk about lifting weights to tone muscle alpha phi gets a little defensive...he doesn't want me to go back to being skin and bones like when he met me....i'm 5'7" ,130lbs now and its just the way he loves me....he likes me with a little bit of curve....talk to him...i'm glad i talk to alpha phi about that kinda stuff.....he knows what i want and i know what he likes....

uptown · 04-21-2003, 09:55 AM

it's kind of a hard subject to discuss,he's said that I appear to have lost some size since losing weight.he's also quite supportive of my interest in getting implants.

I dunno,I look at all these women in pr0n and feel so inadequate in comparision in the breast area.

raeanna74 · 04-21-2003, 11:58 AM

One thing I've learned is that often men are attracted to a woman's self confidance. If she thinks she's pretty/hot/whatever then she's going to act differently. I'm NOT a perfect bod. Had a kid and a c-section doesn't help either. But as long as I feel healthy and feel good about myself Hubby seems to love it. I agree you should talk to him about it. Communication never hurts. But don't put yourself down - You've made a accomplishment to stick with dieting and excercise. Now all you need is that boost of confidence and you'll knock 'em dead.

Atropos4 · 04-21-2003, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by uptown
it's kind of a hard subject to discuss,he's said that I appear to have lost some size since losing weight.he's also quite supportive of my interest in getting implants.

I dunno,I look at all these women in pr0n and feel so inadequate in comparision in the breast area.

You can have some of mine

Do what you have to do...don't go to big though...could cause back problems (in more ways than one) hehehehe

sierra2774 · 04-21-2003, 02:04 PM

I think that he should love you no matter what, and if that bothers him, then you need another man to love.

snowy · 04-21-2003, 02:30 PM

Having someone that supports you and loves you unconditionally is part of really being in love/being loved by someone. If he has issues with your body and is suggesting you need to change it somehow, that is not being supportive/loving you unconditionally.

What really bothers me is that he is interested in you getting implants. Uggh. I'm a D cup and what I wouldn't give to be smaller. Having large breasts can cause a multitude of problems--one of which I'm dealing with right now--back problems. Besides which, you might not be with this guy forever, and who's to say your next guy will want to play with beach balls? Most guys I know would say au naturel is the best way to go. Plenty of the posts on the Titty Board reflect this.

If you DO decide to get implants, do it for yourself, and not for him. Men are like busses...there's another one every five minutes.

*Nikki* · 04-21-2003, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by onesnowyowl
Men are like busses...there's another one every five minutes.

That is the most honest thing I have ever read.

uptown · 04-21-2003, 04:01 PM

I don't know about men being like buses,what I do now is that after looking at thread after thread of beautiful women with great breasts that I feel really ...small... and unattractive in comparision.

snowy · 04-21-2003, 05:40 PM

Uptown, everyone is unique, or at least they should be. Everyone has something of their own value to offer. That means you. What you have to offer might be a great personality, a winning smile, and fabulous legs. The other parts of you--small breasts, a mole on your cheek, glasses--whatever--they should not detract from you but only enhance your other beauties to whomever admires you. If a man cannot admire all the bits and pieces of who you are and cannot take you flaws and all, then he is not worth having. In love, one should settle for nothing, but go for the gold every time.

I've found that what we see as flaws are sometimes seen as gorgeous by the opposite sex. I, for instance, wear glasses. Most of the guys I've dated have been attracted to me because of my glasses. I used to feel like a nerd for wearing them, but one of my exs pointed out to me that they displayed a part of my personality that nothing else on my exterior did. Another flaw I personally have is a potbelly. Has that decreased the opposite sex's interest in me? If it has, I haven't noticed. My past lover enjoyed my belly as much as he enjoyed every other part of my body.

But the important thing, uptown, is not that someone else love you. The important thing is that you love yourself. As my friend Shanna says about her breasts: "More than a handful is just a waste." And she's an A cup.

Good luck.

*Nikki* · 04-21-2003, 07:03 PM

Why do you dislike your breasts? Is it bc of the size, or the shape??

Some of the most attractive women I have ever seen have very small breasts.

I am small myself and I wouldn't have it any other way. I have never had a hard time finding a boyfriend on account of that. I love my body, and most men seem to as well.

Be proud of what you have. It is yours, it is natural.

PorscheBunny · 04-21-2003, 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by uptown
what I do now is that after looking at thread after thread of beautiful women with great breasts that I feel really ...small... and unattractive in comparision.

If I could, I would be more than happy to let you borrow my D-cups for a day. The vertebrae between my shoulder blades are constantly sore and strained from lugging these girls around. Many men don't look me in the eye when they're talking me; fine if I'm trying to chisel an extra dollar or two of tip money from them, not good if I need to be taken seriously. If a get a bit warm, the sweat accumulates under them, and I get to smelling ripe fast.

And quit comparing yourself to the women in the porn areas. Those women are the top 0.01% in physical appearance, only 1 in 10K women are going to look like that. You don't measure up to them? Neither do I, nor does damn near any other woman on here.

If the breast augmentation is because you're afraid of losing him, getting it may drive him away. Alter your physical appearance like this will do little to nothing for you yourself, just your body. You'll have to have time to heal, time in which he can't touch anything between your shoulders and your belly button, time in which there's no sex. You'll have small scars where you previously didn't. You might not be able to nurse any future children. You'll be the same woman, with the same insecurities, bigger breasts with reduced sensitivity and medical bills.

Before you start carving up your body, do an self-esteem augmentation. It'll be a lot cheaper, lot less painful, and lot more likely to get the results you truly desire.

Molly Moon · 04-21-2003, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by uptown
it's kind of a hard subject to discuss,he's said that I appear to have lost some size since losing weight.he's also quite supportive of my interest in getting implants.

I dunno,I look at all these women in pr0n and feel so inadequate in comparision in the breast area.

Okay... you think that you're in love with him, you're considering a major surgery because you want his approval... and yet it's hard to discuss?

Honey, if you can't talk honestly with this man (or any man) for that matter about your body, how you and he feel about it, then how can you expect to have a real relationship with him?

Couples don't stay together because of looks. They stay together because of the conversation. How many 80 year old men do you think are encouraging their wives of 50 years to have breast implants?

This reminds me of a classic scenario from High School and College:
RandomGirl: Oh god, I was having sex with Joe last night and the condom broke! Do you think I should get tested for diseases or something?

Me: Well, yes but some diseases take time to show up. Have you discussed previous sexual partners with him?

RandomGirl: Oh god no! That would be so embarassing!

Me: So it's perfectly okay for him to see you naked and fuck your brains out, but talking about what you are doing is out of the question?

You have no idea how many variation of that conversation I've had. Or how many blank stares I've endured because of it.

Either start talking, or start walking.

uptown · 04-22-2003, 06:08 AM

First off,let me correct a misunderstanding,he has not said anything negative about my breasts,nor was he the one to bring up the subject of implants.In the bit of discussion we had on the subject,he simply acknowledged that I had lost some size as result of losing weight,he was simply very supportive when I mentioned the idea of implants.

As far as only a small percentage of the population looking like the women in pr0n,yeah I suppose that's true but when you look at thread after thread of them and the enthusisatic responses they generate and you then look at your own body it is kind of disheartening and discouraging.

Self-esteem issues? yeah I suppose I have them, hence the dieting and exercising trying to improve my physical being.It just seems that the more I do to improve myself, the more dissatisfied
I become with what I look like.

redrose2 · 04-22-2003, 11:16 PM

Here's the skinny on breasts... I'm pretty small by porno standards, but my BF actually gave me the best advice I've heard to date.

"More than a hand full is more than enough" ( more than a mouth full too)

Honestly ladies, just like a guy with a penis over 8 inches... just wasted space.

If your breasts are BIG, then they are BIG... but your bf can do ALL the same stuff to them as small breasts. In some cases it may be even harder for larger breasts. Case in point I can imagine would be trying to suck on some beach ball sized boobs and keep from laughing at the same time.

Be proud of what you have cause it's the rest of you that makes them look good, not the other way around.

Finally, if a guy EVER gives you crap about your breasts it's like you only being concerned about the size of his penis.. is that valid relationship? NO... so move on. There are many more fish in the sea to hook with your awesome breasts.

Minx · 04-23-2003, 02:14 PM

If you two are truly in love then talk to him about the feelings you have. It may be all your imagination and he may absolutely be thrilled with the "new" you. We are our harshest critics when it comes to our bodies but the most important thing is not how he feels but if you are happy with how you look and feel. You should be very proud of yourself & the effort you are making to keep in good shape and he should be proud of you as well. If something like a little shrinkage in the breast area is enough to send him packing then let him go (with a swift kick to the ass) because looks don't last forever (nor do boobs after childbirth!!) Please please do your self a favor & just speak to him about it. It may allievate all your fears.

uptown · 04-23-2003, 08:28 PM

I tried to discuss the issue a bit tonight.I get the feeling that he likes larger breasts and wouldn't be unhappy if mine were bigger.It's not so much what he says.. but rather the things he doesn't say if you know what I mean.

Minx · 04-24-2003, 11:24 AM

Uptown, I'm curious about something...you said you were thinking about getting implants. Is that because you want them yourself or is it to please him? I know that you said you were the one to bring it up in the first place but I'm curious if you are doing it for the right reason - which would be for your own self-esteem & happiness.

xavier · 04-24-2003, 11:58 AM

Don't sweat it honey, he will get over it. If he really does love you he shouldn't even notice. I have very small boobs and it really bothered me for a long time, and I was afraid my man didn't like them. Then one day I realized boobs are not what make you who you are, and if he couldn't deal with the fact that he didn't have much to work with than he's not worth keeping around.
After I started feeling more confident about myself, I began to make jokes about my small titties.

uptown · 04-25-2003, 11:35 AM

After a long,hard look in the mirror at my body and a session on the titty board, looking at the beauties and the thousands of really enthused male responses,I think I've just decided to end the relationship.I can't afford the amount of surgery it would take to make me look anywhere near as good as most of those women
and it seems a lot fairer and simpler to just end the relationship,I'm not what he wants and nothing I can do will ever make me into what he does.

Minx · 04-25-2003, 02:33 PM

Oh I really hope you bring up your reasons why you are ending the relationship with your guy before you do it. If he only cares about your breast size then I say ditch him for certain BUT if that isn't the issue (except for in your mind) then you may be throwing away something great and that would be a real shame.
It is so easy to look at the tittie board & all the gorgeous girls there & do the comparisons but please please please remember something a very good friend (male) of mine told me. I made the comment that it is very disheartening sometimes comparing oneself with them & he pointed out that they are professionals....models & what not. These are not the normal faces/body types you necessarily see every day & it would be like me trying to compare myself with an ubermodel. Please don't think you have to make yourself look "as good as most of these women" just be happy with yourself and who you are. The most important thing I think here is never ever change to please someone else. If they love you, then they love you for who you are on the inside & the outside. No one is perfect in this big ol' world we share.

04-19-2003, 09:00 PM	#1 (permalink)
uptown Insane	What do you do when... you think the dude you love doesn't like your body, I've been working out and dieting and my breasts got small I don't think he likes small breasts much and this is really bothering me

04-19-2003, 10:23 PM	#2 (permalink)
Plummie Liquid Diamonds Location: Lexington, KY	Have you asked him? It's best to be honest and forthcoming when you have a concern about something. Especially if you love him. You guys should talk about it. __________________ Kim

04-20-2003, 07:41 AM	#4 (permalink)
Angel Naughty Just Right Location: Euphoria	There is only ONE person who needs to love your body...YOU! It is yours to share and it should be received as the gift it is. If he has a problem with your body, it is just that, HIS problem. Don't assume that he doesn't like it. Go talk to him. Tell him your fears and get it out on the table. Keeping it inside will only fuel insecurities. __________________ In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer. ~Albert Camus

04-20-2003, 11:11 AM	#5 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	It's true that there is only one person who needs to like your body, and that should be you. But it certainly is helpful to know your partner likes your body as well. I would urge you to talk about it with him. You say you've been working out and dieting, so maybe the issue is that he prefers your curvier shape. Either way, you need to bring it up with him immediately, otherwise it will just make you more insecure in the long run. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

04-20-2003, 07:52 PM	#6 (permalink)
Atropos4 Think about it Location: North Carolina	i''m going to have to agree with onesnowyowl...because when i talk about lifting weights to tone muscle alpha phi gets a little defensive...he doesn't want me to go back to being skin and bones like when he met me....i'm 5'7" ,130lbs now and its just the way he loves me....he likes me with a little bit of curve....talk to him...i'm glad i talk to alpha phi about that kinda stuff.....he knows what i want and i know what he likes.... __________________ Minds are like parachutes. They work better open. "If I were Hermione, I would have licked his pantleg."

04-20-2003, 05:32 AM	#3 (permalink)
Nikki ~~~~~~~ Location: Charleston, SC	Is this just something you think, or has he actually told you this?

04-21-2003, 09:55 AM	#7 (permalink)
uptown Insane	it's kind of a hard subject to discuss,he's said that I appear to have lost some size since losing weight.he's also quite supportive of my interest in getting implants. I dunno,I look at all these women in pr0n and feel so inadequate in comparision in the breast area.

04-21-2003, 11:58 AM	#8 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	One thing I've learned is that often men are attracted to a woman's self confidance. If she thinks she's pretty/hot/whatever then she's going to act differently. I'm NOT a perfect bod. Had a kid and a c-section doesn't help either. But as long as I feel healthy and feel good about myself Hubby seems to love it. I agree you should talk to him about it. Communication never hurts. But don't put yourself down - You've made a accomplishment to stick with dieting and excercise. Now all you need is that boost of confidence and you'll knock 'em dead. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

04-21-2003, 02:04 PM	#10 (permalink)
sierra2774 Addict Location: Northeast Ohio	I think that he should love you no matter what, and if that bothers him, then you need another man to love. __________________ "Every tomorrow brings new opportunities, challenges we must address...A chance to affirm all our wishes and dreams, to seek beauty and true happiness."

04-21-2003, 02:30 PM	#11 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	Having someone that supports you and loves you unconditionally is part of really being in love/being loved by someone. If he has issues with your body and is suggesting you need to change it somehow, that is not being supportive/loving you unconditionally. What really bothers me is that he is interested in you getting implants. Uggh. I'm a D cup and what I wouldn't give to be smaller. Having large breasts can cause a multitude of problems--one of which I'm dealing with right now--back problems. Besides which, you might not be with this guy forever, and who's to say your next guy will want to play with beach balls? Most guys I know would say au naturel is the best way to go. Plenty of the posts on the Titty Board reflect this. If you DO decide to get implants, do it for yourself, and not for him. Men are like busses...there's another one every five minutes. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

04-21-2003, 04:01 PM	#13 (permalink)
uptown Insane	I don't know about men being like buses,what I do now is that after looking at thread after thread of beautiful women with great breasts that I feel really ...small... and unattractive in comparision.

04-21-2003, 05:40 PM	#14 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	Uptown, everyone is unique, or at least they should be. Everyone has something of their own value to offer. That means you. What you have to offer might be a great personality, a winning smile, and fabulous legs. The other parts of you--small breasts, a mole on your cheek, glasses--whatever--they should not detract from you but only enhance your other beauties to whomever admires you. If a man cannot admire all the bits and pieces of who you are and cannot take you flaws and all, then he is not worth having. In love, one should settle for nothing, but go for the gold every time. I've found that what we see as flaws are sometimes seen as gorgeous by the opposite sex. I, for instance, wear glasses. Most of the guys I've dated have been attracted to me because of my glasses. I used to feel like a nerd for wearing them, but one of my exs pointed out to me that they displayed a part of my personality that nothing else on my exterior did. Another flaw I personally have is a potbelly. Has that decreased the opposite sex's interest in me? If it has, I haven't noticed. My past lover enjoyed my belly as much as he enjoyed every other part of my body. But the important thing, uptown, is not that someone else love you. The important thing is that you love yourself. As my friend Shanna says about her breasts: "More than a handful is just a waste." And she's an A cup. Good luck. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

04-21-2003, 07:03 PM	#15 (permalink)
Nikki ~~~~~~~ Location: Charleston, SC	Why do you dislike your breasts? Is it bc of the size, or the shape?? Some of the most attractive women I have ever seen have very small breasts. I am small myself and I wouldn't have it any other way. I have never had a hard time finding a boyfriend on account of that. I love my body, and most men seem to as well. Be proud of what you have. It is yours, it is natural.

04-22-2003, 06:08 AM	#18 (permalink)
uptown Insane	First off,let me correct a misunderstanding,he has not said anything negative about my breasts,nor was he the one to bring up the subject of implants.In the bit of discussion we had on the subject,he simply acknowledged that I had lost some size as result of losing weight,he was simply very supportive when I mentioned the idea of implants. As far as only a small percentage of the population looking like the women in pr0n,yeah I suppose that's true but when you look at thread after thread of them and the enthusisatic responses they generate and you then look at your own body it is kind of disheartening and discouraging. Self-esteem issues? yeah I suppose I have them, hence the dieting and exercising trying to improve my physical being.It just seems that the more I do to improve myself, the more dissatisfied I become with what I look like.

04-22-2003, 11:16 PM	#19 (permalink)
redrose2 Upright	Here's the skinny on breasts... I'm pretty small by porno standards, but my BF actually gave me the best advice I've heard to date. "More than a hand full is more than enough" ( more than a mouth full too) Honestly ladies, just like a guy with a penis over 8 inches... just wasted space. If your breasts are BIG, then they are BIG... but your bf can do ALL the same stuff to them as small breasts. In some cases it may be even harder for larger breasts. Case in point I can imagine would be trying to suck on some beach ball sized boobs and keep from laughing at the same time. Be proud of what you have cause it's the rest of you that makes them look good, not the other way around. Finally, if a guy EVER gives you crap about your breasts it's like you only being concerned about the size of his penis.. is that valid relationship? NO... so move on. There are many more fish in the sea to hook with your awesome breasts.

04-23-2003, 02:14 PM	#20 (permalink)
Minx Junkie Location: Up yonder	If you two are truly in love then talk to him about the feelings you have. It may be all your imagination and he may absolutely be thrilled with the "new" you. We are our harshest critics when it comes to our bodies but the most important thing is not how he feels but if you are happy with how you look and feel. You should be very proud of yourself & the effort you are making to keep in good shape and he should be proud of you as well. If something like a little shrinkage in the breast area is enough to send him packing then let him go (with a swift kick to the ass) because looks don't last forever (nor do boobs after childbirth!!) Please please do your self a favor & just speak to him about it. It may allievate all your fears. __________________ You've been a naughty boy....go to my room!

04-23-2003, 08:28 PM	#21 (permalink)
uptown Insane	I tried to discuss the issue a bit tonight.I get the feeling that he likes larger breasts and wouldn't be unhappy if mine were bigger.It's not so much what he says.. but rather the things he doesn't say if you know what I mean.

04-24-2003, 11:24 AM	#22 (permalink)
Minx Junkie Location: Up yonder	Uptown, I'm curious about something...you said you were thinking about getting implants. Is that because you want them yourself or is it to please him? I know that you said you were the one to bring it up in the first place but I'm curious if you are doing it for the right reason - which would be for your own self-esteem & happiness. __________________ You've been a naughty boy....go to my room!

04-24-2003, 11:58 AM	#23 (permalink)
xavier Upright Location: Missouri	Don't sweat it honey, he will get over it. If he really does love you he shouldn't even notice. I have very small boobs and it really bothered me for a long time, and I was afraid my man didn't like them. Then one day I realized boobs are not what make you who you are, and if he couldn't deal with the fact that he didn't have much to work with than he's not worth keeping around. After I started feeling more confident about myself, I began to make jokes about my small titties.

04-25-2003, 11:35 AM	#24 (permalink)
uptown Insane	After a long,hard look in the mirror at my body and a session on the titty board, looking at the beauties and the thousands of really enthused male responses,I think I've just decided to end the relationship.I can't afford the amount of surgery it would take to make me look anywhere near as good as most of those women and it seems a lot fairer and simpler to just end the relationship,I'm not what he wants and nothing I can do will ever make me into what he does. Last edited by uptown; 04-25-2003 at 11:48 AM..

04-25-2003, 02:33 PM	#25 (permalink)
Minx Junkie Location: Up yonder	Oh I really hope you bring up your reasons why you are ending the relationship with your guy before you do it. If he only cares about your breast size then I say ditch him for certain BUT if that isn't the issue (except for in your mind) then you may be throwing away something great and that would be a real shame. It is so easy to look at the tittie board & all the gorgeous girls there & do the comparisons but please please please remember something a very good friend (male) of mine told me. I made the comment that it is very disheartening sometimes comparing oneself with them & he pointed out that they are professionals....models & what not. These are not the normal faces/body types you necessarily see every day & it would be like me trying to compare myself with an ubermodel. Please don't think you have to make yourself look "as good as most of these women" just be happy with yourself and who you are. The most important thing I think here is never ever change to please someone else. If they love you, then they love you for who you are on the inside & the outside. No one is perfect in this big ol' world we share. __________________ You've been a naughty boy....go to my room!