Christianwife22

Truly embarrised so please bare with me

I am 22 and live in CT and recently married a wonderful man . Were both Christians and proud to say we both waited til marriage . I lost my mom when I was 10 to BC and was raised by my father and he was very strict. I couldn't even look at the word sex if you know what I mean

Now since I am sexually active I have a question about orgasms well a few questions and I am hoping someone can help me

Does a woman have a orgasm from intercourse

What position brings a woman to orgasm

How do you know if you have a orgasm

How long should your partner last ( TMI ) my husband maybe lasts about 3 minutes of penetration

I read that masturbation helps a woman learn her own body which makes having orgasms easier . I know masturbation is a debate but do a lot of woman masturbate even if there married.

I have thought recently about masturbating (again TMI ) but I just can't start . I feel foolish and start laughing . Do woman say " Hey I am going to masturbate now " or does it just happen . I can't see myself saying to myself " Laura go masturbate " . Do woman set up a romantic scene when they masturbate

maybe this is all dumb but I need to talk to someone. I tried our pastor's wife and a nurse at my OB GYN but when it came time to talk I didn't say a word a my face blushed

Thanks for all your help

Laura

StickODynomite

Some women can have an orgasm from intercourse. Most cannot.

Different positions work for different women.

You'll KNOW when you have an orgasm. It's hard to miss.

How long a guy lasts changes from guy to guy.

I masturbate and I'm engaged. I'm sure married couples do it as well.

All you need to masturbate is to be in 'the mood' .. i think you know what i mean.

I'm sure the other gals will tell you more and answer your questions in different ways and try to help you as much as they can.

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Squishor

Most women do not have an orgasm from intercourse alone - usually some sort of stimulation of the clitoris is required.

The best position is a matter of personal preference.

You'll know if you have an orgasm because your body will shudder all over, centered in the pubic area, and it'll feel really good. Then you'll feel relieved and relaxed. I've read that one sure way to know that a woman has had an orgasm is that her nipples will be erect, and it seems to hold true.

Three minutes is a little short. He's probably really excited and hasn't learned how to delay his response. This takes a little practice, I believe.

Masturbation will absolutely help you learn your body and what you respond to, and will help you get the most out of your relationship with your husband. I hope there is a place in your faith for this. Married women do masturbate, and it can make things more exciting for both of you.

Try thinking about sex, whatever gets your interest, then imagining your husband touching you. Close your eyes and try doing what you would like him to. Experiment and see what feels good. As for setting the mood, I usually would not do this but if it helps, go ahead! Nothing wrong with that. Maybe taking a nice bath first will set the stage and help you relax. Basically you need to be thinking about sex first - otherwise you won't be in the right mood. As for what that consists of, it's another one of those individual things.

When I was a little girl, one of my friends showed me how to masturbate. I had never even thought of it before then. She showed me that she scratched herself with her finger outside her underwear. That's how I got started, although I progressed from that point.

I don't think it's dumb to ask questions. It would be dumber to never explore any further and just be satisfied with whatever, in my opinion. I'd say you should maybe seek out some reading material, that way you don't have to ask someone in person.

ShaniFaye

I can orgasm from intercourse alone but only if Im on top, when Dave's on top I need help in the way of clitoral stimulation. Since all women are built differently the position is going to be different...for example some women can get off by doing it doggie style...this position hurts me a lot so getting off is the last thing on my mind, but me on top either facing him or in reverse works EVERY SINGLE TIME...so ya'll need to experiment with the positions to find the one that works for you. You dont need to be a porn star and enjoy it no matter how you do it.

trust me you will KNOW when you have an orgasm...you'll feel it building and you'll feel it hit.

guys are gonna last depending on a lot of variables....how long its been since he last came...how relaxed he is...etc since you were both virgins its going to take him a while to hit his stride and to figure out how to hold back.

If masturbating seems silly to you right now...go buy a little silver bullet..I dont recommend a full fledged vibrator and use it in various places to see the different effects...then alternate using your fingers in the same places to see how that feeling compares. I dont do it a lot anymore, but when I do sometimes I do it in the bathtub when I've got some candles lit and have been reading a trashy romance novel.

Just remember...sexual discovery of yourself and your partner should be a FUN thing, you are with the man you love and nothing you do is going to be wrong as long as you enjoy it.....just remember to take your time and COMMUNICATE with each other...learn to be able to tell him...."honey, what you're doing isnt exactly working...try doing it this way....or maybe it would feel better if you did it like this..."

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

pinkie

Many women masturbate by lying on their backs with one hand rubbing between their legs and the other stroking one of their breasts. As orgasm approaches they clench their legs together and tense every muscle in sight (especially the muscles in the butt). Other women prefer to lie on their tummies, possibly with a pillow between their legs, or using both hands to rub.

pinkie

Here is a picture of the clitoris. The clitoris is what you want to be stimulating. Use your butt muscles to thrust against the pressure you are applying, and gradually bring yourself to orgasm. You deserve to enjoy the sex you are having with your husband, I hope this helps you become more aquatinted with what your body can do. Good luck.

fallenangel

Wow pinkie, that's up close and personal... definately wasn't expecting that when i scrolled down!

CW22, please, never be embarassed when posting these kind of questions in Ladies Lounge... us gals love to gab, especially about sex and particularly about orgasming!

-Yes it is possible to orgasm from intercourse, but some women have more success than others. Personally, my chances of getting off increas 10 fold if i'm on top.

-If you've had an orgasm, you'll feel great! It'll feel like your whole body is pulsating and the strongest point is in your groin area. You will feel your muscles clench up but that makes it more intense! Don't stress if it takes a while to get used to orgasming.

I found masturbating made it a lot easier to figure out what i liked and didn't like and that helped make communicating to my partner what worked and doesn't work.

As far as duration of sex, it should go as long as you both feel comfortable. If you're 100% satisfied with 3 minutes of penetration, then that's wonderful. I don't know many women who will orgasm in 3 minutes of just penetration though. (Just a heads up). If you want hours of sex, then that's another story altogether.

When i masturbate, most times i'm already in bed, just waking up or just before i go to sleep because those are the times when i'm most wanting it. I agree with Shanifaye, if you feel silly just on your own, buy a toy. A small bullet runs about $20 Canadian, and the people at the adult stores are VERY helpful and VERY understanding. Don't be embarassed by them. OR, order online. They deliver most times in a discretely wrapped package.

Good luck! Hope things go well for you!

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all I wanna do is - give the best of me to you

pinkie

Ohhh, I'm sorry. I just thought it would be helpful. She seemed rather new to the whole experience, so...

veruca

i can tell u about my experiance as a woman...

i have never orgasmed from straight intercourse..., never even came close...so i masturbate while having intercourse...this can be a little awkward at first, but, you'll find a position that will work, and i am sure your husband wants you to get pleasure from the experiance as well


i have been masturbating since i was 12...my mom bought me a book on sex and "why u r changing" and such...and it covered masturbation...and i thought it sounded interesting. so i tried it..lol...i usually don't have any sort of wild fantasies while masturbating...and i am married, and my husband and i both still masturbate..sometimes you just are too tired..lol...

i would suggest , that you masturabate together. it may seem embarrassing, but i would hope that over time, you would grow comfortable enough with each other to trust that the other won't think you are stupid..

length of time has varied from guy to guy, and their excitement level...he has been waiting a long time to have sex...and it does take practice ..a lot to get it right...it's not like in the movies where everythign is clean and perfect..lol...

you'll do fine...just don't get to uptight and worried..that ruins everything

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How you turned my world, you precious thing
You starve and near exhaust me
Everything I've done, I've done for you
I move the stars for no one

RainbowBright

You have lots of good advice here. Thought I'd add my own thoughts.

You can get lots of good books on sexuality at regular bookstores like Border and Barnes and Noble. They may help you with finding positions you both like and answering lots of other questions.

I highly suggest you try masturbating. I am married and we both masturbate. You may want to try reading something or looking at something that turns you on. If you don't want to buy anything there is plenty of sexual material on the internet. Once you get comfortable masturbating by yourself you can bring to your sexual encounters with your husband. I rarely orgasm from just intercourse so I masturbate while we have sex or I masturbate after my husband orgasms while he kisses me, strokes me, etc. If I get off from intercourse it's usually with him sitting up like on the couch with me on top facing him.

3 min may be a little short but like someone else said if you are both satisfied that is all that matters. his time will increase with experience. also that's why it can be helpful to masturbate after he is done

xxSquirtxx

I am another one that cannot have an orgasm from just penetration. I must stimulate my clitoris during intercourse.

Any position in which you can reach your clit and stimulate it.

As the other ladies have suggested, you will know when you have an orgasm.

I feel this is probably not enough time for you to enjoy yourself. I would encourage him to read up on how he can learn to delay his orgasm.

I am married (15 years now), and yes, I masturbate. Sometimes often. Sometimes hardly at all. I think that it would help you to identify what sort of stimulation, i.e., pressure, finger placement on clitoris, etc..., that helps you climax.

I like what someone suggested (I apologize that I can't remember who it was) about taking a warm bath to get relaxed, or in the morning, or before falling asleep. Those are times you'd more than likely be the most relaxed and comfortable. Thinking about sexual activity should be enough to get you in the mood to at least attempt to masturbate.

Also, maybe look into some books from the bookstore. Good luck!

pinkie

Or, read up on Cunnilingus.

Guide to Cunnilingus 1

Cunnilingus is the fine art of making love to a vagina/vulva with your mouth and tongue. It is a delicate skill, requiring patience, practice, and dedication to get it right, but any woman you learn to do it right for will appreciate you all the more for it. What applies to the penis applies to the vulva - every one is different, requiring a different touch to make its owner happy. But few tools can equal the tongue for the amount of pleasure it can deliver to a happy vagina. This article assumes that you know what a vulva looks like and can identify with some precision the mons veneris, labia majora, clitoral hood, clitoris, labia minora, urethra, vagina, and perineum, to name them (approximately) from top to bottom.

This isn't an attack. Don't go after the clitoris like a fireman attacking a fire. Quite often at first, the clitoris is far too sensitive for direct stimulation. Lick around it, stimulating the hood, teasing her inner labia, tasting her. Take your time and listen to her. Some women make noise, and some do not. It will be a while before you learn exactly what your lover prefers as far as oral sex is concerned. Some women may like additional stimulation - a finger or two into the vagina, or perhaps even the anus. She may want your hands to reach up and play with her breasts, or she may want your fingers to hold her labia apart so that your tongue can get at her vulva more directly.

If the taste or smell bothers you or is a concern, ask her to wash first. Most people who enjoy cunnilingus agree that a clean vagina is a good, if acquired, taste. As a woman nears her climax, she may want more direct stimulation. In general, fast, rhythmic stimulation is most effective at causing climax- but there shouldn't be a rush to get there. Take your time and learn to appreciate what you can do for her.

Some people are particularly turned off at the suggestion of cunnulingus during menstruation. If it is a concern to you, then wait. A tampon may well hold the blood back, as will a diaphragm, but some men can't stand the taste anyway. If your partner is healthy, however, there is no particular danger in menstrual blood, and some women find that orgasms during their periods allievate cramps.

http://www.sex-project.com/cunnilingus.shtml

xxSquirtxx

Definitely that, too!!

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fallenangel

Pinkie, haha, no worries, it just got me offguard. Good idea though!

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all I wanna do is - give the best of me to you

hunnychile

You'll be fine, just relax...read the comments & then explore for yourself. I didn't cum from penetration until I was with the right man and then I was able to come often because I wanted to do it with him all the time. Some men never made me cum. It takes different angles & speeds & if your hubby lasts 3 minutes; then you both might want to engage in oral sex more often. Play, suck & lick eachother for as long as it takes for him to get hard once more and then you can ride him longer for your climax. Try doggie style too. Have him play with your clit while he is stoking inside of you from the back. Men seem to like this position of domination. Practice squeezing your vaginal muscles as tightly as possible -that helps perfect wonderful orgasms. It will feel really good to both of you. In time, you'll be able to cum using just your own muscle contractions. Also the G-Spot is inside the vagina, and it's on the top wall of your vagina, inside 3 or 4 inches. That's also why most ladies like to ride on top and control the amount of contact the man's glans has on their G-spot. We are here to help because we've all been new at this, too. Have a great time & enjoy yourselves.

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"I need compassion, understanding and chocolate." - NJB

pinkie

Hey thanks, angel!

I thought of something else the other day too, and I don't know why this wasn't the first thing I thought of: Do you have one of those electric back massagers? You know, the kind that vibrate, and have a handle? They sell them at every pharmacy, Walmart, Target, etc...

Take that and apply it to "that area" and you should have an amazing, hassle free orgasm in only a few moments. It works like a charm, and you can do it over and over again effortlessly. I highly recommend buying one.

Have fun.

fallenangel

If you don't end up buying a 'massager' from one of those places, try using your showerhead attachment if it will come off of the wall on one of those cords! Beauty. I think there's a thread floating around in the sexuality forum about various ways to masturbate without using a toy. Check it out, i'm too lazy to dig it up though

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all I wanna do is - give the best of me to you

xxSquirtxx

I call those "lazy orgasms." But wow..they're quick and powerful!!

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