Women's Medication
 

D A M I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.

D U M E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of country &western music.

F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N
Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?"

B U Y A G R A
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.

Extra Strength BUY-ONE-AL
When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.

J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.

S E X C E D R I N
More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.

R A G A M E T
When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.


Consult your doctor to find out if these medications are appropriate for you!

*LOL* JadiaDax... can't figure out which one i like best...

though... i think it's gotta be:

Extra Strength BUY-ONE-AL
When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.

Gotta love Donny Osmond! *laugh*

thanks for the smiles this morning... i needed them!

Can I have some of the peptobimbo, non breast increasing formula though if you don't mind, unless it comes in a breast firming formula, I'd prefer that one :P

I need to learn how to flirt in person again, and how to recognize it!

That is very funny! Thanks for sharing with us!

That was great! I love the Jackasspirin one!

These were great! I enjoyed the laugh.

... you and me both... *snickering*... i told Willow i'm starting to feel like i should be posing for National Geographic! *laugh*

breast feed two kids and what do you get?... *grumbling*... GRAVITY is currently an EX-friend of mine...

:p

I've seen your chest, it's gorgeous.

and I'm on the third kiddo :-/ I want to keep feeding her as I know she's getting so much out of it, and I enjoy the cuddle time, but I am SOOOO ready to have my boobs be mine, and not belong to a kid. I've been pregnant or breastfeeding our entire marriage, and this is our last one, we're through that's it, now to get them to the point where they can support us when we're old (but not too old to enjoy it which is why we had them young)*smiles*

Jadz, where do you get this stuff?! LOL...this is great. Definitely a must-share :)