Tinker

OK here it is... I have this fantasy
yes it involves bringing home a cutie girl to have fun with my hubby..
We are both good looking so I have been told...
I have no idea on how to even do this, I would want it to be a surprize.. Is this odd? have any of you ever done it? Any thoughts?
I am so turned on by the thought and would love to make it a reality but clueless on how to even approach someone? What would you do..
I know this is a bold question, but I really am curious
Thanks

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lurkette

You can check out <a href="http://www.adultfriendfinder.com/">Adult Friend Finder</a> for starters, or just flirt with cute women you meet and see what happens.

Good luck!

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fallenangel

Check out swinger clubs? Do things exist where you live? Hmm... A thought i read about is, well 'adult escorts' i suppose. Because then it's professional, discreet and no strings. It'll cost ya, but i mean, it's always a consideration to some extent. Happy hunting, keep us posted

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Tinker

Actually tried a club type thing once, but lets just say the menu was not very good

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maleficent

If I were to do such a thing, I'd probably go with a paid professional (ie Call girl), that way you don't have to worry about someone with their own agenda, and you can play the game exactly the way you want it played.

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ttuz

I'm in the same boat you are sweets. I've tried at bars and even at the workplace (very large company). A few have taken the bait but then ran off. It's pretty hard. I wish you luck. And if you have any, pass it my way!!!

Tinker

So I am guessing this is a common fantasy for a lot of women...anyone have any experiences to share?

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"The man who alters his way of thinking to suit others is a fool."
Marquis de SADE

wonderwench

I have never done it - and don't plan too. My husband and I have been approached by other couples in the past, but the group thing doesn't interest either one of us.

We do have friends that do menage a trois - they find thirds in bars or on Craigslist.org (not sure where you life but there is an extensive personals area for many major metros).

I have seen couples have problems in their relationships once they add another party; you need to be incredibly secure in your relationship or you are taking a big risk. Sounds like you are as you are the one coming up with the idea.

Good luck!

Redgirl

We didn't do a threesome exactly, but me and a girlfriend of mine got down and dirty a couple of times in front of both our husbands. It was at their request and they just watched and learned.

But I also am looking for an unattached woman who would be interested in playing with us. I have thought swinging might be better just because then everyone is already attached and you won't have to worry that someone would get too attached to you. When you find a single girl, there could be that possibility.

If you only want to do it once, I would say a professional would be best. Althought how you really find one, I have no idea! If you think it would be a long term thing, then you should try one of the friend finder type sites and take your time. I'm still deciding which of these paths to take myself.

I've thought about flirting with girls myself, but I'm not sure how to go about that. I've never done it, and it's kind of scary to think they might flip out on you or something. I guess I'd feel really butch doing that too, and I'm not like that.

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Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

em1014

I first started thinking about this probably a year and a half ago. I didn't really start looking for someone for another six months. Now, I'm not incredibly open about looking for a girl but it's also not a secret with most people I know. Anyway, in the past year I've managed to kiss quite a few girls (lots of naked parties... ahh the joys of college). I was a third party to one of my lesbian friends and her gf (8 mos ago), but unfortunately my bf was out of town. Until last night that was the only time I had been with a girl. Last night was interesting to say the least.. but it basically boiled down to my bf and I going to a party with some people from his work, everyone getting smashed, me and a girl in a random bedroom, me and bf taking this girl home and getting very little sleep. Definately not what I was expecting from the night!

Tinker, I'm sorry but I don't really know what to tell you. I don't think your fantasy is an unusual one by any means. There are lots of girls out there who fantasize about that (even if they all don't admit it). I can say that any time anything with a girl has even been a possibility with me, alcohol was involved. I wish I could do it sober but I can't even flirt with a guy sober, much less try to pick up a girl.

raeanna74

Finding the sites on the internet seems to be very helpful. There are also a number of swinger groups on Yahoo. We belong to one of them and have joined their parties on many occaisions. We have never had a 3some with 1 boy or 1 girl. We usually end up in a larger group if there's ever an odd number. My suggestion is to find a group that doesn't allow single men in since you say you are both good looking you may find it hard to ward off the single guys UNLESS you are both OK with a single guy threesome. Get to know the group before you go to any parties. Also Check out Hedonism in Jamaica. They have some weeks dedicated to Swingers and you two would be VERY likely to find a girl who would be willing to do a threesome with you two.

If you are both willing to do a swap you may find it easier to find a girl who is interested. It's also safer as Redgirl said. There's a different level of security in knowing that no one will be left out and no one has any designs on either one of you beyond simple sexual fun.

I know only of the good groups and clubs in Wisconsin. I could find out about a recommended club in Chicago too. Since you are all the way out in California - I doubt my suggestions would be much help. Check out Yahoo groups - I don't know if there's a group in California but there are several yahoo swinger groups in Wisconsin so I would bet there is at least one from California. I wish you good luck.

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la petite moi

I dunno, personally I wouldn't try it if you're in a monogamous relationship. I'd be worried about emotions and jealousy. Eek. Sorry, not like my opinion matters.

Good luck in your quest.

sexymama

I don't like the idea of my man with another woman. And, for the most part, I don't fantasize about woman. However, when visiting Vegas we went to a brothel. The idea of hiring one of them to do me (without me having to reciprocate and knowing they are clean) and allowing him to watch, was a great turn on. We haven't done it as it is too far away -- but is on our list of definitely might do some day.

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Supple Cow

I've thought about this a lot, but I think I'm still too young and hot-headed. I'd surely be jealous within moments (as might whatever lady I managed to bring into the situation if she were equally young and hot-headed).

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Redgirl

A Vegas brothel is also on our list of things to do next time we're there. Although I would like it better if the girl were into me and not getting paid, it does seem safer emotionally to just pay one. Plus I bet they really know what they're doing! Mmmmm...

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Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

hunnychile

That sounds smarter than any other ways suggested prior. A pro will make it great fro both of you & you'll feel no strings attached. Why not, whatever is done in Vegas, stays in Vegas

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Rick James

yea yo, whenever you read personals in indie newspaper s like the village voice there are lots of people looking for thirds in their heterosexual sex (almost always a third female).

as for flirting with & picking up women-- a couple of things: it's not too hard, because as a woman you already know what it's like to be hit on nicely (or at least you can imagine...). besides, i think for most women it's flattering to be flirted with by anyone, male or female. other thing is, it's becoming more accepted at chick bars (that's lesbian bars) for women who are in a straight relationship to come in looking to pick someone up for a threesome. be forewarned, though-- there's definitely risk of pissing some people off, and with decent reason.

and as for personal experience... i was in a threesome once, all girls, and it was volatile and nerve-wracking and full of insecurity and jealousy. i don't think i'd ever do it again unless i was damn sure that the third person's feelings & the feelings towards the third person were purely platonic. which is rare. so get a stranger.

ok, i swear i'm almost done-- just for the record, having a woman go down on you can be a consciousness-jarringly wonderful experience.

sillygirl

um. do you have a weiner?

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RMMsGirl

It makes me happy to find out that I'm not the only one with a fantasy of those sorts. My boyfriend often takes me to strip clubs.

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Rick James

um, no. hence the threesome with three girls...

sillygirl

*hides* sorry..... Imma go crawl in my hole now...

__________________

Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken
....absence makes me miss him more...

hunnychile

The Best parties I've attended in Dallas ALWAYS started at female strip clubs! No kidding - more fun snd talent with great laughs and open minds!

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Squishor

Okay, I've done it a few times, in various situations/gender combinations. When my boyfriend and I were trying to find a suitable woman (my closest experience to your situation), we both found that it's really hard to make that final jump between hanging out together and actually propositioning someone. When you think about it, women can be so ambiguous and hard to read - I really feel sorry for men trying to figure out whether or not we want to "do it."

Obviously the common-sense stuff all applies, make sure you're really secure in your relationship, etc. The thing is, no matter how confident you feel in your and his feelings, what about hers? What if she gets hung up on one or the other of you and it gets sticky? Like some others said, I'd actually recommend getting a professional. That way there's no mess to deal with afterwards, and you don't have to play some drawn-out guessing game either.

It was fun but after having experimented I've pretty much decided I'm not the threesome type - I'm much better one-on-one when I can concentrate.

Tinker

Yes I have thought all of that through.. I am pretty confident it would be fine. As far as rules and limitations go.
The professional thing sounds like a good idea, but honestly I am not sure I have the balls to seek something like that out, not to mention I think since it is I who wants to be with her too, that I could go there knowing what she does for a living....
Kinda like i dont know where her "pumba" has been
and yes what a bitch it is to read women... I do feel sorry for men

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"The man who alters his way of thinking to suit others is a fool."
Marquis de SADE