bondagegirl

Well this is a question thats been bothering me for awhile... I've been fantasizing about being with another woman and doing all this kinky stuff... I dunno what to do though. How do I meet other woman like me? (Besides on the internet, i've tried it, I just can't find the right chick.)

If any of you guys have been with other woman, let me know how you met them and what happened. or if you guys have any advice please help!!!! Thanks

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"Dream as if you'll live forever, Live as if you'll die today."

suviko

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blueskies

My first experience with a girl was at a very young age. I was with girls before I was with a boy. As far as finding someone ... I have actually found a couple of friends on the internet. (heh, got my husband that way also). Lesbian clubs, internet clubs, stuff like that are good things to get your feet wet. Gotta start somewhere!

Atropos4

I have a similar issue. I'm interested, but the other woman needs to be able to except that my husband will also be involved. I've had people tell me to check out gay bars.
Funny things have been happening to me lately though.
My husband started pointing out when other women are flirting with me (because I never notice) and I'm actually starting to pick up on it on my own.
The problem. I have no idea how to react. I basically just get really shy.

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bondagegirl

Suviko, when you said that thing about being more insecure around a woman, I think that's one of my problems. I know woman are a little more judgemental than men. I don't really get along with very many woman because of that and past experiences. I'm just so confused.... blah blah blah. lol Thanks you guys for this feedback. I'm glad I'm not the only one

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"Dream as if you'll live forever, Live as if you'll die today."

G0dd3ss

When I've been with other girls, (I've only actually been with two women), it was a friend of myself or my bf.

The first time it was pretty well planned out...and it didn't go over so well.

The second time was kind of a mishap that just *happened*. A friend at the bar asked if she could do a body shot off of me and I agreed and it turned into a really erotic, wonderful, sex-filled night. =D

I think if you just get out there, maybe go to some clubs that are gay/bi friendly and mingle...have a couple drinks...make some girlfriends...it will happen. Not as quickly as you'd like, maybe. But you never know!

I've also just kissed on and made out with a few women, and usually that happend b/c I'm pretty bold once I have a few drinks. I just walk up and start talking and before ya know it....

Anyway, good luck and have fun!

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It's best not to be too moral...you cheat yourself out of too much life. - Maude, Harold and Maude.

*Nikki*

I too was with a woman before I was ever with a man.

They both serve their own purpose and each is wonderful in their own way.

Usually I can tell if a woman is flirting if she touches me, invites me somewhere with just the two of us, or makes sexual remarks.
Otherwise it is pretty diffulcult because women are just more affectionate then men by nature. So sometimes that will fool me.

Good luck in your search!! When you do finally hook up with the right chic, it will be well worth your time!

bondagegirl

Thanks guys, this is really making me feel better! I'm glad I'm not alone!

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"Dream as if you'll live forever, Live as if you'll die today."

NetterButter

wow, i relate to atropos4 the most. i've been curious since forever, but for some reason, i'm just extremely shy (and afraid to scare attractive girls) about it. i am a really open person with gay friends and everything but being engaged to a wonderful guy makes it seem that i am a straight arrow. and damn, i really, really, really, really (did i mention really??) want to be with another girl, but again, i am too damn shy. my biggest fear is to "hit" on a girl that is homophobic therefore, i don't do anything except fantasize. i mean, i believe that i am really attractive but if i ever scare some girl, i will never live it down. whew...what to do, what to do???

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www.holeinthe.net

suviko

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bondagegirl

Suviko, I'm so bummed that you live all the way in finland! If you ever come to the states you have to come see me in California!

i think you could teach me a thing or two!!
Thanks for all the help!

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"Dream as if you'll live forever, Live as if you'll die today."

Missy

I have met women in one of three ways 1. College friends, 2. The internet, and 3. friends of friends, usually met at liberal type bars.

If you're looking to meet someone with no strings attached, I recommend the Interent....you can screen who you want, talk to them for awhile, and set up a comfortable meeting. Just a note though that most bi women on the net seem to be looking for a woman to join her and her man in a 3some. Good luck!

blueskies

LOL ... That is very true about the 3some thing. My husand and I have found women that way ... but personally I don't like to share that much. If he wants a woman he can go find his own. We really don't have the same taste in women anyway. But, I truely believe the internet is one of the easiest ways to 'screen' people and find what you want/need. Other than that I'd meet people through friends. The bar thing is okay .. but the lesbians really don't care for bi women ... they don't take us seriously half the time.

suviko

Threesome can be fun, but yeah, it's usually couples looking for an extra girl to play with them and in this case it's usually him pressuring her to give it a try and then he fucks it up by being greedu. Graaah. I am pessimistic with that setting, even though it can work, sure, but not with first or second try. In overall I have gotten disillusioned with Internet, and tired: always starting from scratch and introducing yourselves and getting to know each other, then arranging a blind date and then finally getting something to happen. Chats and date forums are boring in that way, so I prefer to hunt friends of friends, like Missy said. I have tried to adopt an attitude that I lose nothing by being open so usually people who have similar intrests somehow know it before I have to say it.

I want to have a crush and something a bit more lasting than just a few nights with all that hassle. I have kinda the same taste in women with my man, but he doesn't see the point in getting emotional. I don't just want two tits and a tush, I want something cute to hold in my arms and cuddle with. I am usually submissive with men, but tend to take "masculine" and dominant position with another woman. What I want is to act like a gentleman and spoil someone. Wonder if this makes any sense.. I don't believe in femme-butch-stereotypes. Somehow lesbians are really into labeling people that way. I dress femininely and want to act masculinely. So what am I then?

blueskies

If I wasn't married to my husband I'd be a hell of a lesbian! hehehe I've always liked women more than men. But as far as friends go I get along with guys better. Much more in common. I'm not a 'butch' by far ... but, my interests are on the tomboy side I guess. Give me video games, comics, action packed movies and I'm one happy chick!
We used to have a live in girlfriend. That worked out pretty well. I met her on a dating website and we hit it off right away. She had no problems with me being married and she wanted to be with both of us. We had a good relationship til she moved. I'd love to have another girlfriend. But, I don't think I'd be so giving this time with my husband. Maybe thats selfish of me, but I'd love to have a girlfriend of my own. I miss it. Before I met my husband I had a girlfriend for 5 years. I really loved My Jen!

mocouple74

I too have run into the problem of finding a lady to play out my bi curiosity with....I've had a couple of mild experiences...with my husband too...and want to find a girlfriend or a no strings deal. I've looked around on the internet and havn't had much luck..however, I may not be checking out the right sites...anyone have any suggestions on web sites for this?

There are so many bi curious and bi women, why is so hard to find a playmate?

bondagegirl

Hey Mo
That's the thing I don't understand... There seems to be so many BI curious, if not fully Bi women out there, why is it so hard sometimes to find the right person? I guess it's just like everything else right?

Anyways, I've met people off of Adult Friend Finder, Friendfinder, and Yahoo personals... If that helps at all

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"Dream as if you'll live forever, Live as if you'll die today."

cheerios

bondagegirl: I'd THINK finding the right woman is like finding the right man, but harder because no one really wants to admit that they're interested in a social situation for fear of being shot down. And then, once you get that fraction of the pop who are interested, are they anyone you'd like to sleep with? I am not surprised to see that it's difficult. :/

suviko

blueskies:

You sound pretty much like me, but I've never lived with another women. Tried dating somewhat seriously a few times, but that's not really what I want, I mean living together with anybody else than the man I now am with. He is enough of an "soul mate" for me to fulfill that part. We both like comics, computer games, red wines, big breasts on redheads or brunettes, rating women on the street, surfing porn, playing rpgs, I just want sex & romance and something. I get attracted to intelligent people or extroverted ones, but I must admit that looks is more of an factor for me with women than with men.


About there being lot of bi girl around:

Yeah, there is! Women are more allowed to be bisexual than men and the porn fantasies of stemy lesbian sex will assure that no boyfriend says "hell no, you can't go sleeping around with other women, that's cheating just the same as with men!" Boyfriends don't think they really could lose you to that woman and she can't be THAT good in between the sheets that he'd be totally worthless after you got used to girls. I have come into cobclusion that extremely rarely yound women freak out if their men suggest watching porn together and when they do, the girls are looking at the women. Female body is everywhere in this culture and women learn to get intrested in it.

Back to what I meant to say: There's tons of cute bi-girls out there! That's why I've been telling you to try get a conversation going in your IRL circles and not waiting that some mystery date from the Net would be right for you. If you are shy, take your man with you, but if you really want to explore the possiblities of it, leave him home. You can promise him to tell every dirrrty detail, right?

blueskies

I had met 'our' girlfriend on friend finder a few years ago. One of the girls from there had a 'bi' party at her house and quite a few of us in the area went. It was a blast and I met alot of girls. But, not many that I'd want to keep around.
My husband and I LOVE to sit at the computer and go through newsgroups, tfp, etc. looking at porn. But, unfortunately we don't agree on girls very often LOL I think I check out girls more than he does! *geeze*
Another thing, on the net ... you can get on mIRC and find bi/gay channels for your area most of the time. I've met a few friends that way also. Yes, I do seem to meet alot of people thru the computer... but damn, I'm a mom with 3 kids. hehe I don't get out much.
There really are ALOT of bi/bi-curious girls out there. Take your time and if its meant to happen ... it will happen.

Baileys

Hi, I'm new to the list, so hopefully this works w/ the right subject heading and all.

I have been bi-curious since the early 80's. I just left my husband of 16 yrs and am looking to explore all my options. I also moved in with a couple and we have been talking about a 3 some. I'm game, he's game, she isn't. Then she is, then she isn't. I think it is being 'too planned' and if we just let it happen, it happens. But hey, body shots off you might work... can someone explain those?

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Baileys

cheerios

Baileys: I can't explain body shots, but i can say taht if she's not SURE, she's prob gonna regret it in the morning, and you don't wanna get caught in the middle of that. i'd find someone else to experiment with, if I were you. just some friendly advice. welcome to the LL btw!!

suviko

Baileys:

I second cheerios. In that situation it is a bit asking for trouble.

Are you more drawn to this woman or his man? Can this woman feel threatened by you, fearing she might lose him if you are better in bed? If you find specially _her_ intresting and are not into any female experience, show that to her and build up her selfconfidence. When she's not around, ask from him if it's ok that you girls try together first. Then woo her slowly and carefully not to make her feel pressured. Have an evening together, go dancing or something, so you can flirt and cuddle and even if you don't go all the way that night, you know by now would it be worth pursuing.

Baileys

Thanks Cheerios & Suviko.

I am more interested in exploring the female end of it. Will totally let her make all the calls, I would not want to ruin a friendship out of night in bed.

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Baileys

Xapphire

My husband and I both very much want a girlfriend, I want her to be my friend and lover, and to join me in teasing him :P. He's not into having sex with her on his own, only wants it to be as a 3some, so I think I get the lion's share of the deal. Just have to find someone we both agree on, and who agrees with us. It's tough. When we were in Cali, we used alt.matchmaker.com, but that was a year ago, and it was a lot more populated than it is now. I know a lot of the alts moved to a new alternative lifestyles website and I can't remember it for the life of me.

We're not actively looking at this point, too much stress in our lives, we want to settle into our own house and be stable again before we go girlfriend hunting, but that's what we'll be doing. We don't want a one night stand, or even a 3 round go. I want a longterm girlfriend, who may or may not at some time in the future, live with us permanently. Why do I get the feeling that this would be easier if we were rich? Bleh.

I feel your frustration hon...

blueskies

Xapphire, I understand about the live-in girlfriend. My husband and I did that for about 4 months. It worked out well for us. And it really brought me and my husband closer.
As for the money thing ... hell yeah, that would help alot! LOL We are still working on that part.