qtpye4u84

My boyfriends brother in-laws brother got a job in the city I live in so he moved here and is living with us while his wife and kids stay back in there town until they have money to buy a house in my city.
Well, he(the brother in-laws brother) Likes to look at porn on the net.
He does this while his nieces are up stairs,and even when his dad is right behinde him on the sofa.
He also keeps asking me and my boyfriend if we have any porno's. If we did, he would have to watch them in the living room on the big screan,
because he is staying in our guest room and theres no T.V. in there.
He is kinda creepy he makes me feel like he is seeing right threw my clothes.
I have told my boyfriend this but its like he does not care.
I ran out of things to try or do. I told him he could go to one of the porn shops.
Maybe I should tell him to go into one of those booths they have at the porn shop and watch porn there??

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The QTpie

lafemmefatale

How much claim do you have to the house? So long as it is YOUR home, you should be comfortable in it. Tell this brother in law to buy himself a tv for his room the next time he asks for pornos. And remind him you're doing him a favour letting him stay at your place so he should be grateful, and well mannered, not creepy and perverted.

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-poor is the man whose pleasure depends on the permission of another-

lurkette

Lay down the law, and if he can't live by the rules, kick him out. You're under no obligation to offer free housing to someone who makes you uncomfortable. And password-protect your computer so he can't have access.

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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France

maleficent

Who's house is it? Your boyfriends, your boyfriends father? Who is the parent to the children in the house?

If your boyfriend doesnt care about your feelings (i'd dump the bum), then he should at least show some concern about the children in the house.

Talk to the owner of the house and get some house rules set down. If the brother wants to watch porn, he can buy a tv set and a dvd player for his own room

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qtpye4u84

Thank you for the advice.
I'm kinda too scared to confront him about it. His room is right by my boyfriend and I's room, so its kinda hard for me to have sex like normal cause I am scared he might peep threw the cracks of our room, and watch us cause, its one of those sliding room deviders.

It's not my house, it's my boyfriends, sisters house, my boyfriend and I have been living here for 11 months.
When I get a job(got fired in december) we can move out to an apartment.
I dont know how to go about talking to my boyfriends, sister about this. It is a very touchy subject.

I am afraid she might get mad at me because I'm the one who showed him how to turn on the internet. I'm afraid that the guys brother is going to get mad at me for ratting on his brother. I'm thinking about buying a new T.V. and putting my old one in his room but it would be kinda odd, because he is sleeping in the weight room.
I am just concerend for the kids, and the grandpa that comes and stays here for a while.

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maleficent

The family tree has me confused.

The brother in law is your boyfriend's sister's husband or another relative? The father of the children?

Your concern is for the children, which the sister should appreciate. Explain to her your concerns, calmly. Is it your computer? Then put on some parental controls on the web, where he can't get to any adult sites.

She's a mom, her first concern should be her girls, if someone has bad feelings about this man, then she'd be foolish not to listen.

What's your boyfriend say when you tell him your concerns?

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qtpye4u84

yea my boyfriends sister is married her husbands brother, is staying at the house tell he can find a house.
HMmm Okay I dont know how to go about talking to her.

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The QTpie

maleficent

Invite her out for coffee.
Tell her what you said here.
Write it down first, so that you don't get emotional, and don't forget what you want to say. Or just write the letter to her. If she's familiar with computers, show her his internet usage history.
It doesn't matter who taught him how to do it -- the fact that he's doing it should be the concern.

That he gives you a bad feeling, and you are concerned for the children. A mother would appreciate that.

If he's living in the weight room, then she must suspect something as well.

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qtpye4u84

I told him he laughed and said yea, AT the guys house in his town he has a lot of pornos when my boyfriend was a kid he would always go over there and look at them so he knows hes a perv but he did not think it was a bad thing.

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qtpye4u84

Hmmmm....Thanks for your advice maleficent I think I am going to try that, she is like 2 feet away from me but I am going to wait until I can get her alone. And wait until it feels right or comfortable.
See, they are asain so I am not sure how she is going to react, the men are the ones in control I think but thats not like my boy friend at all.
what happens when she knows and she does not care????

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la petite moi

You should DEFINITELY tell someone. Perverts are NOT good for children or grandpas.

maleficent

Depends on how much you trust your intuition, and how right you think you are. You could always place a phone call to Child Protective Services -- or whatever the agency is in your city - and let them handle it.

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raeanna74

One other thought - Don't know how she'd feel but you could put duct tape over the cracks between the rooms to keep him from peaking.

The rest of the advice here is great. Bring it up to Mom first as the kids are first priority. Depending on her response there's always an annonymous tip to child protective services if you feel there's a real problem.

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My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

qtpye4u84

Yea, thanks. I am not sure about duct tape, wont it leave like gray sticky marks all over when I take it off say when I move out?????
The brother in laws brother has not been on the computer for like a week now so thats good I think he wont do it again. By the time he gets home from work he sleeps all day then goes back to work.

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The QTpie