Frenchie

How many people in here have had kids when they were kids themselves.. I'm talking about 17 and younger.

It just interests me.. since I have a lot of friends myself who have, or are having kids and they are about 17 or 18... some younger.

:::OshnSoul:::

check out Tilted Parenting.

I have a 4 yr. old son and almost 9 yr. old stepdaughter.
I had my son when I was 20.
Even though he can be a handful, I am fortunate to have him and I really know the meaning of love through him. He never ceases to amaze me.

Jennteel

My daughter is 13 and son is 9 next month. I had my first when I was 16.

qtpye4u84

lol some one I am related too had her first baby when she was 13 and her boy friend was like 25 or some thing like that they got married when she was 16 she now has 3 kids and shes only like 23 and her oldest is like 8 now and her other kids are 6 and 3
I cant believe her mom let her do that she moved in with her boy friend when she was 13.

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Crusader

I think they are very stupid if they have kids when they are under 16. Sixteen is the legal age of consent (Australia) and if they get pregnant under that age, it is obvious they have broken the law and should be punished accordingly.

I don't know anyone personally who has gotten pregnant under 18, but I have a few friend of a friends as well as people I know over the Internet.

shannon

It's a bit harsh though to judge them that way. Just because they made a mistake doesn't mean they're stupid. Furthermore, just because someone hasn't gotten pregnant doesn't mean they didn't make the same mistakes, and so it seems somewhat unfair to make judgements based mainly on chance. A child having a baby to me indicated a failure to properly educate these children, and does not indicate that the children are stupid.
In Canada, age of consent is also 16. However, it is legal for children as young as 14 to have sex if there is less than 2 years between the two having sex. And the age of consent for anal sex is 18. I'm sure as hell not going to judge a gay boy for having sex at the age of consent of a straight boy. Screw that. I think laws surrounding sex are not current enough much of the time and I don't think they should be used as guidlines which stand in place of personal morals. Not to say that I think it's great to break the law, but I think it's pretty sketchy to swear by these laws as though they were not just formed by a bunch of people with their own moral agendas.
Sorry to get so off topic. I'll end my rant there.

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Crusader

How else are the lawmakers going to find out and enforce it? If they go around punishing all the people who get pregnant (underage), maybe they'll think twice. If they aren't going to enforce the laws they make, they may as well have not made them into law!

Personally, I think it should just be a guideline, and not a law, as I have nothing against two consenting people in having sex. But I just think they are stupid because they took a big risk and broke the law. Either that, or they are ignorant. Ignorance is not an excuse! But then again, who hasn't broken the law at some point in their life? As I said before, the authorities should just cut down on the laws they don't enforce.

Oh well, people make mistakes. Maybe I should rephrase - the kids might not be stupid, but they have done a stupid thing/made a stupid mistake.

They have random breath tests, do you think they are unfair?

sexymama

I had unprotected sex with my ex three times, besides when I was pregnant, and you've got it -- I have three biological children. The first, I was 23, single and in my last year of college. It was way difficult, even at that age! But I learned a few lessons -- like never judge others. Just 6 months prior to getting pregnant I had said, "I would never have a baby out of wedlock. Anyone who does that is stupid." Well, I must be really stupid then! I'm also very blessed as I love my son dearly and wouldn't trade him for anything.

Parenting at a young age and/or alone is very challenging and I don't recommend it. That is why I plan to talk openly with my girls about sex, love, and birth control. I don't want them to go through what I went to.

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Crusader

I'm talking about the under 18's. It's fine for adults to make the mistake of having unprotected sex (if they aren't ready for kids/disease it's a mistake), because they are properly developed. Under 16, it can be not good for the mum or the kid.

SixEdxMia

I had my first daughter one month after I turned fifteen.She's nine now.I am a single mother and I paid for my mistakes by missing out on my own childhood in order to provide for someone else.I am pleased to hear that you think I should have been punished by law instead of taking responsibility for my actions and raising my child.


But once again.. opinions are like assholes.. everybodys got one..

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Crusader

By punished I mean no child care payments for the kids. And putting it on the criminal record. Nothing that would too badly affect the mother/child. Just enough to discourage it. And forcing them to go to parenting lessons.

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SixEdxMia

No childcare payments for the kid? I supported my own and I still do, but what the fuck is wrong with you ?The kid should go hungry then?And putting it on the criminal record? How much of a criminal was I To sleep with the guy I would spend the next seven years with?!?

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SixEdxMia

Guilty of stupidity,Yes,I was.Guilty of immaturity?,Yes that too... but a criminal,Get real.

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Crusader

Well, if the kid goes hungry welfare can take it away.

It is a crime and should be recorded as one!

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SixEdxMia

Well kudos to your mother for waiting so long to have you and for being able to afford to feed you so well?
I think it is in my best interest not to return to this.Our views have been recorded.
*shrug*

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Crusader

I like having an argument. It means I can increase my post count! But you're right. Our views have been recorded.

Just for the record - My mum was in her mid to late thirties when she had me. She was a devout Catholic and waited til marriage.

Amethyst

Well I guess I am one of the stupid ones also. I got pregnant when I was 15 and had the baby when I was 16. And I don't think that kids should be punished the punishment for me was giving up on all the things I loved and all the dreams I had for myself to grow up very fast and start caring for this newborn I had just given birth to. I am not advocating teenage pregnancy but I don't think that I am stupid I just made a mistake. A mistake that I love and care for and still today provide for. I would not change what I did for anything in the world. If I could go back and do it again I would.
And do you think that girls that have abortions and give there babies up should be punished to or only the stupid ones that keep and take responsibility for there actions?

Anyway I have two little girls one when I was 16 she will be 9 in Sep. ( and I'm also married to her father and am a stay at home mom) and I have a 4 year old who will be 5 in June and I was 21 when I had her.

Amethyst

I think that I am a very good mum and my daughter is very smart, respectful and she has had no problems?
What kind of problems do you think we would have?
And I think at 16 I was more responsible than most 18 year olds. People are differnet and some people are not ready to give up there lives but some are and do a hell of a good job doing it. It pisses me off that you think that I am not a good mom because I had my daughter when I was 16 and that my child would have problems. I give my daughter a very good life she goes to a private school she is well taken care of.

SixEdxMia

Good,good woman Amthyst!!

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ally

I don't understand why some of the girls seem to think that it should be recorded as a crime for a girl to have a child.
I understand that some people think that its unhealthy for a girl to have a child at so young an age. But it is untrue, many girls are sexually mature at 12 or earlier.
It is true that most 15 or 16 year olds are not emotionally mature or financially stable. However, a child is something that forces you to grow up.
I watched my boyfreinds college graduation the other day and there were two people who walked with their babies in their arms. They are truly strong people to finish school with an infant.

SixEdxMia

Thank you Ally for another fine opinion. : )

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Crusader

It is illegal to have sex before the age of consent. Obviously kids break this law and never get punished. Why do we even need this law if there is not going to be any enforcement? That is my argument.

Shouldn't we be discouraging kids from having kids?

I am not saying that teenage mothers are bad ones, I am saying there is an increased health risk to both mother and child if she gets pregnant during her teenage years.

Read this site for proof -

http://www.storknet.com/ip/reproduct...pregnancy.html

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qtpye4u84

in the us its 18 to consent.
I think they are not ready to have kids when they are kids them self, they will be missing out on a lot of things.
They would have to grow up to fast,make a lot of choices that they are just not ready for.

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Amethyst

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Crusader
[B]It is illegal to have sex before the age of consent. Obviously kids break this law and never get punished. Why do we even need this law if there is not going to be any enforcement? That is my argument.

Shouldn't we be discouraging kids from having kids?
Yes, we should and that is taught.

I am not saying that teenage mothers are bad ones, I am saying there is an increased health risk to both mother and child if she gets pregnant during her teenage years.

Read this site for proof -

I was a teenage mother and I had no health problems and my children have been perfectly healthy. As for parenting classes I attended those to help me be a better parent on my own. After you arrest the teenage parents what are you going to do with the children?

Crusader

Why does everyone misinterpret what I write?

"I was a teenage mother and I had no health problems and my children have been perfectly healthy. As for parenting classes I attended those to help me be a better parent on my own. After you arrest the teenage parents what are you going to do with the children?"

Firstly - I didn't say all teenage mothers and their kids will have health problems. All I said was there was and increased RISK.

Secondly - I didn't say you had to arrest the teenage mother. I recommend a financial punishment of some sort.

Thirdly - I don't think it should be illegal for teenagers to have sex. I think they should be educated, but not have a law against it, especially if they just go and break the law (without being punished) anyway. If they take the risk, it's their fault. Why do we have this law?

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SixEdxMia

Crusader....how is having the child,and keeping the child,and loving the child,and raising the child... not enough..

A financial punishment? Holy shit.


God... fuck me.. fuck this, fuck that,and fuck you. I am happy that I don't come across this opinion out loud from anyone in my day to day.
Opinions are like assholes. Once again Crusader

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Amethyst

Secondly - I didn't say you had to arrest the teenage mother. I recommend a financial punishment of some sort.

Like what take away the money that they work for to support there kids? I just don't understand what you want to happen. Haven't they already screwed up big time and you want to make it worse?????/

Thirdly - I don't think it should be illegal for teenagers to have sex. I think they should be educated, but not have a law against it, especially if they just go and break the law (without being punished) anyway. If they take the risk, it's their fault. Why do we have this law? [/B][/QUOTE]


Aren't we educated in sex education classes?What kind of punishment do you want them to have? I gave up my childhood and grew up very fast gave up alot of things to raise my kids. Lost out on things that I would like financially because I had to provide for a child? What more do you want to happen to me?

SixEdxMia

The last person who gets a valid opinion in my eyes,is someone who has never experienced it.

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cherriesue

My sisters friend had her first baby when she was 15 and now she has 4 (ranging from 2-11) and all of them have different fathers and she isn't with any of them...someone needs to tell this girl about birth control

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SparklingDot

My best friend in high school got pregnant when she was 17. I didn't understand then how she could have let it happen or what she was going through. I am ashamed to say that I wasn't a very good friend. That was a few years ago. Today, her daughter is beautiful and my friend is leading the life she always wanted to.

Just because we don't understand some of the things those we love have done, doesn't mean we love them any less. I am very proud of her and glad that her daughter has such a loving and wonderful home.

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Amethyst

Does she take care of all of the children? If so does she work? There are some young girls who have kids and don't take care of but there are many adults who do the same thing. My step sister had a baby when she was 15 and she doesn't take care of the baby my step mom and dad take care of the baby and it is very sad. But some of us give up our lives and step up to the plate and it makes me mad when people say all teenage parents are bad because it's not all of us.

Amethyst

My friends were they same way it was like I had the plague. No one wanted to talk to me or be around me. And then I transfered schools and I didn't really make any really strong friendships with anyone. And my boyfrined went to the catholic school in town and he got to keep all his friends and I was really upset about it. My senior year I went back to the high school and while my friends were getting ready for prom and college I was chaging diapers and getting ready for school 3 times in one day cause my daughter threw up on me twice. We were all in differnet places in our lives.

Crusader

By financial punishment I mean they should not receive any money from the government to help raise the child. If they don't like it, they can always give the child up for adoption! And it should be recorded on their permanent record that they broke the law.

No-one has really answered my third point - why do we have laws that no-one enforces?

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Cosmo Girl

"No-one has really answered my third point - why do we have laws that no-one enforces?"- Crusader......

From my understanding, concent laws are mostly to protect against rape. If the defendant is below the concent age, the argument can not be made that it was concentual, because they are not at the age to understand the full concequences of their actions (according to legislators, not personal opinion) I may be wrong on this, but i beleive that is the reason we have concent laws, to protect young people from sexual abuse. As for cases of two concentual individuals who fall under the age of concent, where there is no rape accusation, i do not beleive that these individuals should be punnished. I think that punishing them will in no way improve the situation, yes they made a mistake, but punishing them will not change what happened, it will only make things worse for the mom and the baby....just out of curiosity? i don't think anyone has mentioned the conceqences that a male would have for having underage sex? what if it was one of those deadbeats who took off and left the mom alone? am i the only one who thinks it is soooo unbeleivable unfair that the mother should suffer finacialy due to breaking concent law and the man get off with a slap on the wrist?

"By financial punishment I mean they should not receive any money from the government to help raise the child. If they don't like it, they can always give the child up for adoption! And it should be recorded on their permanent record that they broke the law."- Crusader

oh come on now...does every underage kid who looks at porn on the internet get a permanent record? no.....the age limit is there to protect from things like kiddie porn....there has to be an age limit so no one under that age is exploited. Is masterbating illegal before age of concent...what about other sexual acts? I think that sex is a natural human urge (we are animals after all) It is extreemly important to discourage sex between young people but that should be done though sex education....laws do not scare people out of doing what they wanna do, the only effective thing is education....they have to fully understand the risks of what they are doing. And remember, some people mature faster then others, just because you see it as immoral and wrong, doesn't mean they do.

Rubyee

I had a dream last night that I was nine months pregnant, and I had to walk around holding my stomach so that I didn't drop things. Everyone wanted to touch my belly and to talk to me about the baby, and I actually felt like there was someone in my stomach. Now I want to be pregnant.

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Frenchie

I'm glad I made this post and ya'll can get your opinons out. I personally believe that there are situations that girls and guys get themselves into that they need to learn from. A lot of people run from their mistakes, in this case by abortions and all. But I feel that education and love in a family, household, as the girl/boy is growing up... I think that if the child is growing up in a very genergous, loving, abstenant (to a point...parents never let their children know they go beyond kissing on the cheek), trustworthy, alcohol and drug (cigs) free househould then you will find that just about all of those children will grow up making the right choices...
I don't want to make anykind of arguments with what I just said... so I'll clear it up a bit.
I see most of my friends that grew up in a house like mine... just as I described, and they don't have kids... aren't scum bags... and don't drink everyweekend fucking random guys. Most of the people I know in those households might go and have a drink... they might have sex, but they usually know what they are doing. And they aren't stupid like the other people I know... growing up in a household very similar to mine except their parents smoke... she ended up smoking and soon became a totally different person.

Yes things are different for pretty much everyone. I am just sharing and opinion.

SiN

My opinion on this is mostly simply that there should be free birth control clinics in all high schools, plus making bc more available in general.

(I was able to get free bc starting when I was like 17, from a clinic...it was a little bit of a drive, but I was able to do it, without parental consent).

My mom was a teenage mom, so I can't totally criticise them or say they should all get abortions or whatever...but at the same time, I know she gave up a lot of opportunities because of me.

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SiN

[OT, sorry]

Um...you may want to re-think that.
Intelligent discourse for the sake of is fine.
'Arguing' and posting to increase one's count ... is not the best idea

[/OT, sorry]

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la petite moi

Crusader, as an 18 year old non-mother, I think your opinion is wrong. Yes, there is an increased risk- maybe if the teen is malnourished in the beginning. Also, financial punishment? Wrong suggestion! Teen mothers may need financial help to raise their child, but guess what?! So do ADULT mothers who are single. Does that mean we should take away all support to mothers who are having trouble? I think that not only would that put a strain on the government's budget, but make life very very difficult for those teen mothers trying to accept the consequences of their actions.

It depends on the person having the child. SixEd and Amethyst were a couple of the responsible women out there. The age limit is put there for statutory rape, basically. I don't condone unprotected sex, but it happens, and a mother who takes responsibility for her actions should not just be punished like you suggest, but commended.

Amethyst

Thank you so much la petite moi. I know alot of people look down on teen moms but there are alot of adult mothers that aren;t ready also and for her to judge us all is wrong.