BlueBongo

I feel like I'm going through a really odd time right now personally. My moods have been fluctuating more lately too and I find myself back in the same doldrums being somewhat down and depressed. I am trying to adjust to new living situations, re-analyze myself, and not let things eat away at me like they do.

I have found that I have greatly strayed from many of the things that are important to me and being happy and I am working through this slowly by trying to make small changes here and there that will help me out in this process.

Obviously miracles don't happen overnight.. but I'm hoping slowly I'll come back around once I can get into a steady flow of my surroundings and what opportunities are out there for me to explore in VA.

I was kinda curious to know what makes other women happy, or how do you make yourself happy? I know making ones' self happy isn't the right terminology, but I think you can understand what I'm getting at.

I am currently looking into some support groups for stress management and other issues offered to me by my school which I know will help me out a lot and eventually I can get back to where I know I need to be.

But what makes everyone happy?

__________________
"Things can only get so bad before they have no choice but to get better.."

onodrim

When I'm feeling just really down and out of sorts, the things that work best for me are music and solitude.
Music always works, there's something for any mood you're in. I always feel better after listening to some good music.
Also, sometimes I just need to get away from everyone for a little while, have some of my 'own time.' I give so much of it to other people, that just taking the time to take care of myself for a few hours can do a whole world of good. Read a book, or watch a movie, or just stare at the ceiling if you want. I always feel better afterwards.
I hope those help, and hang in there! *HUG*

__________________
"The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there’s little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides"
-Carl Sagan

:::OshnSoul:::

As difficult, sometimes impossible it may seem:

It is this easy.
Ask "what makes me happy? What makes me feel good?"
Ask about certain activities/hobbies/attitude/actions make your feel good or not.
How do you want you to be?

A sign I saw today:
"Happiness is a choice."

It's choosing to switch your frame of mind.

I can understand on a personal level where you're coming from. I've been there. But I chose one day to change. I can't change anything or anybody else, but myself.

sexymama

I agree -- first and foremost, happiness is a choice. How do you stay focused on that choice:

Surrond yourself with positive people
Be kind to yourself
Forgive yourself
Allow yourself to feel all your feelings -- not wallow in them, but feel them and acknowledge them
Celebrate the little successes
Focus on the positive (that hurt, but I learned . . . )
Do little things for yourself (a bubble bath, read, watch a movie, veg out and be ok with it)

You can "make yourself happy" imho, Good luck!

__________________
If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god

It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

*Nikki*

This is definately a personal issue for me.

Something that I struggle with on a daily basis. Sometimes I think that there is nothing that truely makes me happy.

Then I will sit back and think of all the things that I do have to be thankful for that others don't have.
I think about people that are much worse of then myself and how they get through life day to day.
There is always something to be grateful for no matter how small it is.

Look inside yourself because in the end you are the only one who can make yourself happy.

amonkie

Don't sit back expecting some big BANG and your life is perfect, sometimes I get the most happiness over the smallest of things. For example, I'm always in a good mood in the evenings, just after sunset, because I almost always stop whatever I'm doing and just watch the sun go down. To me, this is one of the most beautiful things I'm blessed to see every day, and we have awesome sunsets in Az.

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Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

Elles

Go out with friends and watch a movie.

Listen to music.

Never do anything that would require thinking because inevitably you think of bad things. Reading is bad if you think while reading. Do things that demand something from you like your full attention such as before mentioned like music, movies, food, friends, exercising, ect.

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I lie to live and I live to lie.

lurkette

Sometimes being unhappy is okay. I've learned that when I'm sad for a reason (grief, loss, disappointment) it's better to just be sad and get it over with.

However, there are times when I'm sad when there's really no identifiable reason for it. At those times I have some "thought exercises" I do that involve sort of picking apart my unconscious thought processes and identifying the "cognitive errors" I'm making that are having me be unhappy.

I've also found that exercise works wonders! Sometimes just being outside in fresh air - either in the city, around people, or in the woods by myself - feels like it literally clears away the cobwebs. To get clinical about it, regular exercise (20 minutes 3x/week) has been shown to be as effective as prozac in treating depression. It releases endorphins and helps regulate your brain chemistry. Find something you enjoy doing, though, and perhaps find someone to do it with so you don't have to rely just on yourself to motivate you to get out and do something.

Meditation also helps me sometimes - just remembering to breathe, and just noticing where my brain is going and gently bringing it back to just breathing and being.

Good luck, dear!

__________________
"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France

minyn

1. dancing around to LOUD music
2. Noticing stupid little things in life NO ONE ELSE NOTICES. Cherish those.
3. Laugh, a lot, when you want, about what you want
4. Smile and know that your smile will make others smile. its powerful.
5. Find ways to remind yourself youre pretty and worthy of attention and acknowledgement from the world.

__________________
"Woke up this morning with a blue moon in my eye"
~A3 "woke up this morning"

"Don't compromise yourself, you're all you've got." -Janis Joplin

Minx

Things that make me happy personally are my kids (when they are being the sweet little angels they can be!), my dog....yes - my dog - you can't be sad around a dog I swear, watching the sun rise.

There have been many good suggestions given by the other ladies - exercise is a great one and lurkette is one hundred percent correct on the chemical aspect of it; taking the time to do something you love - be it reading, or just going for a walk, spoiling yourself to a bubble bath. But nikki hit the nail on the head.....in order to be happy you have to be happy with yourself. Learn to love yourself....faults and all! No one or no situation can make you happy unless you are at peace with your own inner self.

__________________
You've been a naughty boy....go to my room!

:::OshnSoul:::

Well, like most people, I used to blame others around me. One day I realized it's all a frame of mind. I started asking myself what doesn't make me happy, what does make me happy, and what can I do to change the way I feel and what can I do that will make me happy......
Now I am- I have my moments, but then I remind myself of what I have and know that happiness is a choice.

raeanna74

I've dealt with family all my life who were in depression to the point of feeling suicidal. I have learned that I have to try my best to find happiness not based on my circumstances. It's never as easy as I would hope. Sometimes almost impossible but it's my goal. There are many things that do give me joy in my life. They are:
1. My daughter and husband.
2. Candles
3. Dark Chocolate
4. Beautiful sunshiny days and calm warm rains.
5. Quiet classic guitar.
6. My work - with children. Yes it has it's ups and downs as well but because I know it's where my heart desires to be then I am even happy in a small corner of my heart when things get difficult.
7. My daughter's hair. It is pale, almost white, blonde, Long, and as fine as silk. I love to watch it while she plays.

__________________
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

Unga

Ya I know what you're tlaking about Lurkette. At one point, i burst into tears and I didn't have an exact pin point on the reason why. "Surround yourself with positive people" I've heard that soo many times. Do it It makes a huge difference having the support of just one. I've recently set new goals for myself. Keeps me busy

Shyla Loral

Wow, I couldn't have put it better, those are all excellent ideas. Also, cuddle lots, cuddles really nurture the soul.
Reading a good book makes me happy, talking to my daughter, huggling/sex with hubby, baking, and sometimes, oddly en ough, cleaning, although I hate to clean.
Good luck! Good for you for going through these adjustments and trying to improve your life. Excellent.

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"Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead" Ben Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanac.

Meff r0x

listid

The things that make me happy:

Being around friends, loud funny music, being noticed (no one ever noticed me in high school, i guess thats why pink hair makes me happy), being different (again the hair), and riding horses and dancing all those great exercise endorphins!