isis

I searched through the section here through the past year, and never really found what I was looking for - I'm really sorry if this is repetitive, but I need an opinion.

I just recently (really recently..) started having sex with my boyfriend. The first time, it hurt, which i knew is pretty typical. I also bled, alot. I figured this was pretty normal and whatnot. It wasn't due to inadequate lubrication (I don't believe) and he was gentle.

The second time, I was trying to be really careful because I didn't want to have another fairly large amount of blood coming out of me. Same thing, I was prepared, lots of foreplay, etc. First thrust, I just get a big amount of pain and get him to stop. He tries again, gentler .. and its better, but still painful. I then noticed to my dismay I was bleeding again. I was really upset about it. Its totally ruining the start of my sex life .. he is amazingly cool about it, and just wants to make sure I'm ok, and that I'm having an enjoyable time.

I'm trying to figure out if I have a serious problem, or if this is just a natural 'first time(s)' type thing. My hymen was definatly broken before, I have masturbated, and all that good stuff. I'm wondering, could it be the position? Both times, we've started with the 'legs over the shoulder' method. This was last night, and I had some residual blood in my underwear tonight. (Really dark, so I figured it was old.. this was about 6 - 8 hours after showering and stuff)
I'm wondering if he's poking my cervix or something with this? Or .. if I'm completely incorrect about the lubrication? I'm definatly going to go pick up a tube of astroglide and see if it helps .. but .. I'm just slightly concerned. I'm also on Depo-Provera (and have been for over a year) and I've heard that this might attribute to some tenderness.

Well, any speculation or suggestions would be AMAZINGLY helpful, and I'd be eternally grateful. I don't really want to go to the Gyno just yet because the one in town is incredibly hard to get into, especially during the busy holiday season : (

wannabenakid247

Hi Isis

Not sure why this is happening to you so i would ask the doctor or gyno just to check.

However one suggestion, I know that Depo does not agree with everyone and can cause irregular bleeding it may have something to do with this. My friend had constant bleeding so it was like she had a continuos period and had to stop taking it.

If the blood is dark it suggests that it is a menstrual bleeding rather than one caused by tearing or such like. Anyway I would check with the doctor. Best of luck

raeanna74

If the second time was only a day or two after the first it could explain why there would be bleeding once again. Some women do just have a very sensitive cervix as well so any deep penetration can be uncomfortable. If you can work it to avoid the deeper penetration (especially if he tends to be longer) then one position that gives lots of clitoral stim and not deep penetration would be once he is inside have him lay forward and one at a time put your legs down straight while he puts his over yours so that he is straddling you. I hope that makes sense. It's a feel good position without deep penetration.

That all said - I completely agree with wannabenakid247 - Since you are just getting started out here it would be best for you to see your Dr. Now is the time to make sure things are going smoothly not excounter more problems and she can best help you get on the right track. You don't have to see a gyno. I just see a regular family physician. They are quite capable and whether they are male or female they should be up on anything you would need to know. I have pretty much always gone to a Family Practitioner even through pregnancy and they have taken good care of me. Even a man Dr would be professional and knowledgeable. (personally I think the male Dr's are more considerate in female exams than the women I've seen)

Also Definately try the astroglide even if you are well lubed it always feels even better

p.s. My first time I bleed (spotted at least) for almost a week and was a little sore even though hubby was gentle.

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cheerios

take your time, relax, give it a few days before giving it another shot, so you can heal up. spooning is a nice shallow, gentle position, too. Good luck

Rubyee

This was me. Same exact thing. I had a light period for three months, and every four weeks, a couple days of heavy bleeding. That could be a big part of it.

I also agree with Raeanna- the position you are using is one that allows for very deep penetration. I would suggest plain missionary, or missionary with his legs on the outside of yours, for the first few times. It kind of loosens you up easier, which might make the pain a lot less, as well.

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isis

Thanks for all the suggestions, this is such a great forum.

I tried the 'shallower' positions, used lots of lubrication, and went slowly.. and I would deem it successful. Still a bit of pain, but it was expected. I didn't bleed, so I was really happy.

I'm going to be careful still for the next little while, but hopefully .. everything will work as its supposed to soon ;D

Thanks again ladies.

cheerios

good to hear