Female intercourse/lubrication problem - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

lisa · 12-13-2003, 02:37 PM

Hello girls,

I'm having a bit of a problem, and I would like to have your advise. Since a couple of weeks my boyfriend and I run into a specific problem when making love.

We have been having sex since almost a year now, and until recently never encountered any significant problems. But lately, during intercourse, it happens that "I completely dry up inside". Without even a warning, I don't know why it happens, I fail to 'fabricate' enough of my natural lubrication fluids. It's not because I'm no longer in the mood -quite the contrary- or stressed, scared or insecure, ... I just suddenly "disfunction"; my body sort of gives up on me and can no longer keep up with my desires.

Off course, in the past, this sort of problem has happened on occasion, but it seems to become a routinized problem lately which may start to interfere with my lovelife... It's not that I'm not horny enough, or that my boyfriend neglects foreplay or underachieves in bed, Somehow, this just happens. This seems to happen more and more often in the last couple of weeks.

My boyfriend suggests on using a lubricant, but I've never used this before and I would like to know how prevelant this problem is amongst women of my age (22). Have any of you ever encountered problems like this, if yes, do I really need a lubricant or can there be an obvious reason for this problem, which I can then solve without the use of a lubricant?

Please advise!

SiN · 12-13-2003, 02:45 PM

hi lisa

um, first, yeah i suggest getting some lube, you may not always need it, but i believe one should always HAVE it avail, just in case.
i recommend Astroglide.

second, as for the cause...could be lots of things, could be nothing.
in general, i wouldn't worry about it, but to be sure, ask your Gyno.

good luck, and mostly, don't stress about it

lurkette · 12-13-2003, 04:03 PM

Hormone changes can sometimes have this effect - have you recently started/stopped taking medications? If you're in the mood and all you need is a little er...juice...go for the lube. If it worries you, ask your gynecologist. They're very good at figuring out things like this.

Minx · 12-14-2003, 03:34 AM

I have read that smoking can cause this sort of thing, as well as too much alcohol.
Lube is your friend...and SiN is right - try Astroglide.

cheerios · 12-14-2003, 03:57 PM

/me has a tube of KY jelly that's awesome. s'not astroglide, but you can get it @ the grocery store

be prepared to shower afterwards... things get a bit messy in my experience, and remember to pick a lube that won't degrade a condom!!

btw: from re-reading your post, it almost sounds like you're concerned about using a lubricant because it's not "natural" or as a remedy to a problem. It doesn't have to be like that. it can just be an extra layer of fun in sex. Using it doesn't mean somethings wrong with you, or that you're abnormal.

that said, if you're routenely dry, you may very well wanna hit up the gyno's office. they spend their days w/ their heads under womens skirts

they must know SOMETHING about all this

lisa · 12-15-2003, 05:54 AM

Hey girls,

First of all, thanks to all of you for the tips, advise and concerns! It's kind of the first time I've posted here with a 'real' "problem", and you've all allready been a great help!

It could be that the problem is alcohol AND cigarette-related... I do smoke a lot (tried stopping -together with my boyfriend- but both of us failed miserably) Last time I was a bit tipsy and did smoke a lot, but on the other hand, I remember well that I've had sex under quite some influence and didn't had any problems...

It's like, sometimes it works and other times it just doesn't, I still haven't singled out the true cause yet.

On all your tips on lubricants: thanks! It's true what cheerios remarked that I am/was a bit hesitant with the use of this, but I'm getting more and more curious about this and the "etra layer of fun" it can provide in sex

.

Also, I realise that I should probably start thinking on searching a good gynocelogist. I've never had any serious problem 'below' so never ever went to a specified doctor on issues like that.
I wonder, do you all regularly visit your gyno or only when necessary? I know women should regularly (what i thought would mean once a year) visit a doctor for breast control, but do you think this also implies a visit to the gyno, even without any specific problems?

Anyway, thanks allready!

Geekgirl · 12-15-2003, 12:56 PM

Are you taking any form of birth control? Sometimes the pill and especially the depo shot can cause these side effects.

cheerios · 12-15-2003, 07:41 PM

I go yearly to my college health center, to get a pap smear and otherwise get checked out, and renew my birth control perscription. If you're a student that's a nice way to take care of things (they tend to hook you up with price breaks where they can). if not good luck with the hunt! Maybe if you're in the same area as someone else they can recommend someone?

raeanna74 · 12-16-2003, 09:30 AM

Hormones, birthcontrol, stress, mild dehydration... There are so many possibilities. I always keep some lube available. Sometimes your body just doesn't want to make it. If you don't drink enough (I find this to be so with me anyway) then you can tend to be drier. When I got pregnant my lubrication was great to begin with then I dried up big time. Then I went on the pill afterwards and it's been a consistant problem for me. I just expect to use a little lube to begin with and I'm fine. I am 29. I noticed drying up when I was 25. Every woman is different too. It's not a big deal. It is good to ask your Physician about it and make sure they know what's going on too. The more open you are with your Dr about these things the better you'll keep a handle on everything. Dr's have heard way worse things. This is nothin'. Good Luck.

Steffi · 12-18-2003, 09:26 PM

I have found that when I drink a lot of water throughout the day, I have no problems with staying lubricated. I don't know if that really has anything to do with it, but it's always a possibility. But just in case, I would definitely go with a lubricant. Hope everything turns out for the better.

12-13-2003, 02:37 PM	#1 (permalink)
lisa Crazy Location: belgium	Female intercourse/lubrication problem Hello girls, I'm having a bit of a problem, and I would like to have your advise. Since a couple of weeks my boyfriend and I run into a specific problem when making love. We have been having sex since almost a year now, and until recently never encountered any significant problems. But lately, during intercourse, it happens that "I completely dry up inside". Without even a warning, I don't know why it happens, I fail to 'fabricate' enough of my natural lubrication fluids. It's not because I'm no longer in the mood -quite the contrary- or stressed, scared or insecure, ... I just suddenly "disfunction"; my body sort of gives up on me and can no longer keep up with my desires. Off course, in the past, this sort of problem has happened on occasion, but it seems to become a routinized problem lately which may start to interfere with my lovelife... It's not that I'm not horny enough, or that my boyfriend neglects foreplay or underachieves in bed, Somehow, this just happens. This seems to happen more and more often in the last couple of weeks. My boyfriend suggests on using a lubricant, but I've never used this before and I would like to know how prevelant this problem is amongst women of my age (22). Have any of you ever encountered problems like this, if yes, do I really need a lubricant or can there be an obvious reason for this problem, which I can then solve without the use of a lubricant? Please advise!

12-13-2003, 02:45 PM	#2 (permalink)
SiN strangelove Location: ...more here than there...	hi lisa um, first, yeah i suggest getting some lube, you may not always need it, but i believe one should always HAVE it avail, just in case. i recommend Astroglide. second, as for the cause...could be lots of things, could be nothing. in general, i wouldn't worry about it, but to be sure, ask your Gyno. good luck, and mostly, don't stress about it __________________ - + - ° GiRLie GeeK ° - + - ° 01110010011011110110111101110100001000000110110101100101 Therell be days/When Ill stray/I may appear to be/Constantly out of reach/I give in to sin/Because I like to practise what I preach

12-13-2003, 04:03 PM	#3 (permalink)
lurkette My future is coming on Moderator Emeritus Location: east of the sun and west of the moon	Hormone changes can sometimes have this effect - have you recently started/stopped taking medications? If you're in the mood and all you need is a little er...juice...go for the lube. If it worries you, ask your gynecologist. They're very good at figuring out things like this. __________________ "If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France

12-14-2003, 03:34 AM	#4 (permalink)
Minx Junkie Location: Up yonder	I have read that smoking can cause this sort of thing, as well as too much alcohol. Lube is your friend...and SiN is right - try Astroglide. __________________ You've been a naughty boy....go to my room!

12-16-2003, 09:30 AM	#9 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	Hormones, birthcontrol, stress, mild dehydration... There are so many possibilities. I always keep some lube available. Sometimes your body just doesn't want to make it. If you don't drink enough (I find this to be so with me anyway) then you can tend to be drier. When I got pregnant my lubrication was great to begin with then I dried up big time. Then I went on the pill afterwards and it's been a consistant problem for me. I just expect to use a little lube to begin with and I'm fine. I am 29. I noticed drying up when I was 25. Every woman is different too. It's not a big deal. It is good to ask your Physician about it and make sure they know what's going on too. The more open you are with your Dr about these things the better you'll keep a handle on everything. Dr's have heard way worse things. This is nothin'. Good Luck. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

12-14-2003, 03:57 PM	#5 (permalink)
cheerios Banned Location: 'bout 2 feet from my iMac	/me has a tube of KY jelly that's awesome. s'not astroglide, but you can get it @ the grocery store be prepared to shower afterwards... things get a bit messy in my experience, and remember to pick a lube that won't degrade a condom!! btw: from re-reading your post, it almost sounds like you're concerned about using a lubricant because it's not "natural" or as a remedy to a problem. It doesn't have to be like that. it can just be an extra layer of fun in sex. Using it doesn't mean somethings wrong with you, or that you're abnormal. that said, if you're routenely dry, you may very well wanna hit up the gyno's office. they spend their days w/ their heads under womens skirts they must know SOMETHING about all this

12-15-2003, 05:54 AM	#6 (permalink)
lisa Crazy Location: belgium	Hey girls, First of all, thanks to all of you for the tips, advise and concerns! It's kind of the first time I've posted here with a 'real' "problem", and you've all allready been a great help! It could be that the problem is alcohol AND cigarette-related... I do smoke a lot (tried stopping -together with my boyfriend- but both of us failed miserably) Last time I was a bit tipsy and did smoke a lot, but on the other hand, I remember well that I've had sex under quite some influence and didn't had any problems... It's like, sometimes it works and other times it just doesn't, I still haven't singled out the true cause yet. On all your tips on lubricants: thanks! It's true what cheerios remarked that I am/was a bit hesitant with the use of this, but I'm getting more and more curious about this and the "etra layer of fun" it can provide in sex . Also, I realise that I should probably start thinking on searching a good gynocelogist. I've never had any serious problem 'below' so never ever went to a specified doctor on issues like that. I wonder, do you all regularly visit your gyno or only when necessary? I know women should regularly (what i thought would mean once a year) visit a doctor for breast control, but do you think this also implies a visit to the gyno, even without any specific problems? Anyway, thanks allready!

12-15-2003, 12:56 PM	#7 (permalink)
Geekgirl Upright	Are you taking any form of birth control? Sometimes the pill and especially the depo shot can cause these side effects.

12-15-2003, 07:41 PM	#8 (permalink)
cheerios Banned Location: 'bout 2 feet from my iMac	I go yearly to my college health center, to get a pap smear and otherwise get checked out, and renew my birth control perscription. If you're a student that's a nice way to take care of things (they tend to hook you up with price breaks where they can). if not good luck with the hunt! Maybe if you're in the same area as someone else they can recommend someone?

12-18-2003, 09:26 PM	#10 (permalink)
Steffi Tilted Location: Somewhere in the middle	I have found that when I drink a lot of water throughout the day, I have no problems with staying lubricated. I don't know if that really has anything to do with it, but it's always a possibility. But just in case, I would definitely go with a lubricant. Hope everything turns out for the better.