Lack of interested friends - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

supersteph2747 · 12-01-2003, 11:04 PM

This Saturday is my 21st birthday. For the last 3 weeks I have been telling my friends that I want to go to a certain restaurant, so keep the date open. Here it is, 5 days before, and only about 3 people have said that they want to go. I sent an email to them and the rest of my friends telling them that, due to lack of interest, I was cancelling dinner. Is that going too far? Should I go anyways? I would appreciate some input, since I don't want this landmark day to suck.

JadziaDax · 12-01-2003, 11:23 PM

Actually, I think it is going to far. I think it's ridiculous to cancel your plans because "only" 3 of your friends want to go. Make the best of it with the 3 friends. You'll have a better time with the 3 of them than with an entire group.

And besides, your birthday is what YOU make of it. You can't depend on other people to make it "not suck". If the day sucks, it's your own fault, not anyone elses. You are responsible for your own happiness.

And besides, having a birthday in December sucks to begin with. Everyone is already busy making holiday plans, visiting other family and friends. Be thankful for the friends who do want to spend your "landmark" day with you. I'm thankful when just one friend wants to spend any day with me.

SabrinaFair · 12-02-2003, 05:18 AM

Yeah, I agree. Instead of mourn those absent, rejoice in those present. My best celebrations for various holidays or birthdays usually include less than five people. It's what you make of it.

Averett · 12-02-2003, 05:22 AM

I know how you feel. My 25th birthday was this past April, and I wanted to go out to dinner with friends of mine. I mentioned it a good month in advance, and nobody was interested. Oh well.

wannabenakid247 · 12-02-2003, 07:14 AM

Yes I also think that you have gone too far.

I think that you find as you get older it seems like you have fewer friends that want to celebrate your special occasions with you. The ones who still do are the important ones, the ones that you have to cherish. You would probably have a really good time on your birthday with those three.

My birthday is straight after new year and I also think it is a shitty time to have it.

Anyway Happy 21st Birthday

Aphrodite · 12-02-2003, 05:42 PM

I'm also in agreement. Those three are your real friends, enjoy them!

superbunny6 · 12-02-2003, 05:54 PM

I know how you feel! I had a similar experience on my last Bday. I had had a bad day, so I told everyone to forget it. And so they did. I was more miserable alone. So, swallow your pride and re-invite everyone. We all have moments like that, just dont' let them get you down! We're here for ya!

Aphrodite · 12-02-2003, 06:06 PM

I had friends round for my 21st, and my new flatmate got really drunk and hit on all my non-single male friends... it was so embarassing. Some of them even had girlfriends sitting right beside them while my flatmate was trying to put her hand on their crotch. It was ridiculous.
And for my 22nd, everyone completely forgot!
The moral of the story is, don't let your day suck! You can have a great time if you have people there who really care, nevermind how numerous they are!

amonkie · 12-02-2003, 10:00 PM

Supersteph, let me just remind you that more people does not always equal a better time! For my 20th recently, I had probably 10 people get together at TGI Fridays, but there were a few people who did not quite get along. Let's just live it up with whoever is really a good enough friend to make a point to come!

sexymama · 12-03-2003, 06:45 AM

3 truly good friends are much more valuable than many cquaintance. Go and enjoy!

BTW -- happy birthday!

12-01-2003, 11:04 PM	#1 (permalink)
supersteph2747 Upright Location: Tempe, AZ	Lack of interested friends This Saturday is my 21st birthday. For the last 3 weeks I have been telling my friends that I want to go to a certain restaurant, so keep the date open. Here it is, 5 days before, and only about 3 people have said that they want to go. I sent an email to them and the rest of my friends telling them that, due to lack of interest, I was cancelling dinner. Is that going too far? Should I go anyways? I would appreciate some input, since I don't want this landmark day to suck. __________________ War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.

12-02-2003, 05:18 AM	#3 (permalink)
SabrinaFair Junkie Location: Louisville, KY	Yeah, I agree. Instead of mourn those absent, rejoice in those present. My best celebrations for various holidays or birthdays usually include less than five people. It's what you make of it. __________________ "With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy." -Desiderata

12-02-2003, 05:22 AM	#4 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	I know how you feel. My 25th birthday was this past April, and I wanted to go out to dinner with friends of mine. I mentioned it a good month in advance, and nobody was interested. Oh well. __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

12-02-2003, 10:00 PM	#9 (permalink)
amonkie Drifting Administrator Location: Windy City	Supersteph, let me just remind you that more people does not always equal a better time! For my 20th recently, I had probably 10 people get together at TGI Fridays, but there were a few people who did not quite get along. Let's just live it up with whoever is really a good enough friend to make a point to come! __________________ Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

12-03-2003, 06:45 AM	#10 (permalink)
sexymama My own person -- his by choice Location: Lebell's arms	3 truly good friends are much more valuable than many cquaintance. Go and enjoy! BTW -- happy birthday! __________________ If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

12-01-2003, 11:23 PM	#2 (permalink)
JadziaDax Loser Location: who the fuck cares?	Actually, I think it is going to far. I think it's ridiculous to cancel your plans because "only" 3 of your friends want to go. Make the best of it with the 3 friends. You'll have a better time with the 3 of them than with an entire group. And besides, your birthday is what YOU make of it. You can't depend on other people to make it "not suck". If the day sucks, it's your own fault, not anyone elses. You are responsible for your own happiness. And besides, having a birthday in December sucks to begin with. Everyone is already busy making holiday plans, visiting other family and friends. Be thankful for the friends who do want to spend your "landmark" day with you. I'm thankful when just one friend wants to spend any day with me.

12-02-2003, 07:14 AM	#5 (permalink)
wannabenakid247 Registered User Location: Wales, UK	Yes I also think that you have gone too far. I think that you find as you get older it seems like you have fewer friends that want to celebrate your special occasions with you. The ones who still do are the important ones, the ones that you have to cherish. You would probably have a really good time on your birthday with those three. My birthday is straight after new year and I also think it is a shitty time to have it. Anyway Happy 21st Birthday

12-02-2003, 05:42 PM	#6 (permalink)
Aphrodite Tilted Location: Lost in the pages of a book full of death	I'm also in agreement. Those three are your real friends, enjoy them!

12-02-2003, 05:54 PM	#7 (permalink)
superbunny6 Upright	I know how you feel! I had a similar experience on my last Bday. I had had a bad day, so I told everyone to forget it. And so they did. I was more miserable alone. So, swallow your pride and re-invite everyone. We all have moments like that, just dont' let them get you down! We're here for ya!

12-02-2003, 06:06 PM	#8 (permalink)
Aphrodite Tilted Location: Lost in the pages of a book full of death	I had friends round for my 21st, and my new flatmate got really drunk and hit on all my non-single male friends... it was so embarassing. Some of them even had girlfriends sitting right beside them while my flatmate was trying to put her hand on their crotch. It was ridiculous. And for my 22nd, everyone completely forgot! The moral of the story is, don't let your day suck! You can have a great time if you have people there who really care, nevermind how numerous they are!