Queefing - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Starkizzer · 11-17-2008, 09:31 PM

The other night, I was having sex with my SO and it was late so it was the, "its late, I'm tired, have to get up for an 8am class but also unbelievably horny so lets bang one out" sex. We started doggy style, its the quickest way for me to cum since I can use my vibe easily. After I came, he wanted me to lay down on my tummy, and as we all know when you change positions you risk getting air trapped in you vag. We managed a smooth transition from hands and knees to on my stomach but as he started thrusting again and of course the inevitable air escaping noises escaped from down there. This has to be one of the worst/funniest sounds to hear during sex. We both laughed, but he was more preoccupied than myself, plus being already giddy from the orgasm only moments prior, I just couldn't stop laughing. Poor guy said every time I laughed it felt like I was trying to rip his penis off.

I finally had to stifle my giggles by burying my head into my pillow so he could cum.

I thought this whole situation was hilarious and was incredibly thankful to have a man that could roll with the punches and laugh as well instead of being disgusted. Of course this isn't the only time its happened, but it was the first time that it happened in the MIDDLE of sex.

So ladies, do you have any funny stories about queefing, or any other unexpected sex situation for that matter? Since we all know that sex is not as glamorous as the media and porn make it out to be. There are unexpected moments that either make you grateful for the partner you have or leave you feeling completely mortified. So how did your partner handle it? Has anyone had any bad experiences, where their partner was disgusted?

Sorry if this is a TMI discussion, I just figured I had never seen it discussed here and it is very much a ladies' discussion.

*BTW who the hell came up with the term qeefing any way!

SabrinaFair · 11-19-2008, 10:38 PM

I've actually only had this problem once; for some reason, I'm just not a queefer. It was my sophomore year of college, with my ex Mason. We had just finished some amazing sex. He pulled out, and apparently pulled some sort of rip cord. I started queefing...for a long time. Like, I closed my legs, which stopped or muffled the sound, opened them again, and the noise resumed. Being 19 years old and still pretty inexperienced, I was absolutely mortified at first. When it would not stop, I eventually loosened up and gave into the hilarity of the moment. We got a good laugh out of it.

ItWasMe · 11-20-2008, 01:14 AM

Happened once, during a thunderstorm. We heard a "BANG!" Hubby stopped mid-stroke and said 'wow. that was probably a hundred feet away.' Shortly after, we heard another BANG! about the same time the sky lit up. Hubby stopped again, and commented that it must have been less then fifty feet away. Resumed activities, and shortly after was the 'queef' I said, "OMG! That one was about a foot away!" We laughed so hard we couldn't breath, and it killed the mood.

Starkizzer · 11-20-2008, 11:04 PM

Thank you ladies for sharing your stories too.

I was starting to worry that maybe I had picked a topic that was inappropriate (if that's possible here)

See I get a kick out of life moments like this, and I think that this is the kind of forum that should be open to sharing and discussing "these" kinds of situations because where else can we talk about them.

SabrinaFair · 11-21-2008, 06:22 AM

Starkizzer-
I completely agree. I don't have a lot of girlfriends IRL (I have more guy buddies) but among the girlfriends I do have, nothing is sacred. I figured this is just an online collection of girlfriends. :-)

XOXO,
Saby

PonyPotato · 11-21-2008, 06:30 AM

I've had queefing moments that made me giggle endlessly, but they're not quite as memorable as yours, Starkizzer.

I have, however, gotten a bloody nose during sex. And since the sex was in the dark, it was really surprising/freaky to wake up with both of us covered in dried blood.

snowy · 11-21-2008, 11:18 AM

I'm a queefer. It's unfortunate, but true. It's one of the major reasons I prefer to do yoga on my own, at home, alone. Invariably I get air in my vagina and queef. Sometimes I even queef without yoga or sex. Those are truly embarrassing moments. Once it happened right in front of my roommate. I'm not sure how the air got in there in the first place, but suffice it to say I was a little surprised. Luckily he just thought it was a fart, and farts are par for the course around our house (this is what happens when you live with guys).

My SO is used to it, and we laugh about it when it's particularly inopportune or funny. It's good to have a sense of humor about these things.

ngdawg · 11-21-2008, 07:01 PM

You're not alone, Snowy. I queef with no reason too. They're not noisy tho, more like little bubbles.

Itwasme, that was a giggle maker. Thanks.

Not queefing, but in the same vein: Spouse and I were having a nice long sex session and a cuddle moment with him on top of me when he suddenly and loudly farted-at which point he started pumping like crazy with the (automotive) explanation, "I kicked in the fours".

It's been years and that still makes me snicker.

mandy · 11-24-2008, 01:16 AM

We've experienced it a coupla times. I too queef bubbles with no sound from time to time. but i havnt a funny story i can remember...i know there have been embarrassing moments where i was mortified and healer tried to make light of the situation by saying things like "ok be quiet now" or "enough already!!!" and that would make me laugh.

But ItWasMe...that was my happy moment for this morning LOL funny as hell!!!!

little_tippler · 11-24-2008, 03:33 AM

Never audibly queefed...sometimes the bubbles you guys are talking about. I'm not much of a queefer. The word "queefing" makes me giggle.

Acetylene · 11-28-2008, 01:01 PM

I queef occasionally after doggy-style, sometimes with force. We usually ignore it, or giggle.

I queefed AND got my period at the same time once, and sprayed blood on the wall opposite the bed. My SO was proud of me :P

11-17-2008, 09:31 PM	#1 (permalink)
Starkizzer Hi floor! Make me a samwich. Location: Ontario (in the stray cat complex)	Queefing The other night, I was having sex with my SO and it was late so it was the, "its late, I'm tired, have to get up for an 8am class but also unbelievably horny so lets bang one out" sex. We started doggy style, its the quickest way for me to cum since I can use my vibe easily. After I came, he wanted me to lay down on my tummy, and as we all know when you change positions you risk getting air trapped in you vag. We managed a smooth transition from hands and knees to on my stomach but as he started thrusting again and of course the inevitable air escaping noises escaped from down there. This has to be one of the worst/funniest sounds to hear during sex. We both laughed, but he was more preoccupied than myself, plus being already giddy from the orgasm only moments prior, I just couldn't stop laughing. Poor guy said every time I laughed it felt like I was trying to rip his penis off. I finally had to stifle my giggles by burying my head into my pillow so he could cum. I thought this whole situation was hilarious and was incredibly thankful to have a man that could roll with the punches and laugh as well instead of being disgusted. Of course this isn't the only time its happened, but it was the first time that it happened in the MIDDLE of sex. So ladies, do you have any funny stories about queefing, or any other unexpected sex situation for that matter? Since we all know that sex is not as glamorous as the media and porn make it out to be. There are unexpected moments that either make you grateful for the partner you have or leave you feeling completely mortified. So how did your partner handle it? Has anyone had any bad experiences, where their partner was disgusted? Sorry if this is a TMI discussion, I just figured I had never seen it discussed here and it is very much a ladies' discussion. BTW who the hell came up with the term qeefing any way! __________________ Frivolity, at the edge of a Moral Swamp, hears Hymn-Singing in the Distance and dons the Galoshes of Remorse. ~Edward Gorey Last edited by Starkizzer; 11-18-2008 at 12:03 PM..*

11-19-2008, 10:38 PM	#2 (permalink)
SabrinaFair Junkie Location: Louisville, KY	I've actually only had this problem once; for some reason, I'm just not a queefer. It was my sophomore year of college, with my ex Mason. We had just finished some amazing sex. He pulled out, and apparently pulled some sort of rip cord. I started queefing...for a long time. Like, I closed my legs, which stopped or muffled the sound, opened them again, and the noise resumed. Being 19 years old and still pretty inexperienced, I was absolutely mortified at first. When it would not stop, I eventually loosened up and gave into the hilarity of the moment. We got a good laugh out of it. __________________ "With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy." -Desiderata

11-20-2008, 01:14 AM	#3 (permalink)
ItWasMe But You'll Never Prove It. Location: under your bed	Happened once, during a thunderstorm. We heard a "BANG!" Hubby stopped mid-stroke and said 'wow. that was probably a hundred feet away.' Shortly after, we heard another BANG! about the same time the sky lit up. Hubby stopped again, and commented that it must have been less then fifty feet away. Resumed activities, and shortly after was the 'queef' I said, "OMG! That one was about a foot away!" We laughed so hard we couldn't breath, and it killed the mood. __________________ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe

11-20-2008, 11:04 PM	#4 (permalink)
Starkizzer Hi floor! Make me a samwich. Location: Ontario (in the stray cat complex)	Thank you ladies for sharing your stories too. I was starting to worry that maybe I had picked a topic that was inappropriate (if that's possible here) See I get a kick out of life moments like this, and I think that this is the kind of forum that should be open to sharing and discussing "these" kinds of situations because where else can we talk about them. __________________ Frivolity, at the edge of a Moral Swamp, hears Hymn-Singing in the Distance and dons the Galoshes of Remorse. ~Edward Gorey

11-21-2008, 06:22 AM	#5 (permalink)
SabrinaFair Junkie Location: Louisville, KY	Starkizzer- I completely agree. I don't have a lot of girlfriends IRL (I have more guy buddies) but among the girlfriends I do have, nothing is sacred. I figured this is just an online collection of girlfriends. :-) XOXO, Saby __________________ "With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy." -Desiderata

11-21-2008, 06:30 AM	#6 (permalink)
PonyPotato Soaring Location: Ohio!	I've had queefing moments that made me giggle endlessly, but they're not quite as memorable as yours, Starkizzer. I have, however, gotten a bloody nose during sex. And since the sex was in the dark, it was really surprising/freaky to wake up with both of us covered in dried blood. __________________ "Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark." — Henri-Frédéric Amiel

11-21-2008, 11:18 AM	#7 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	I'm a queefer. It's unfortunate, but true. It's one of the major reasons I prefer to do yoga on my own, at home, alone. Invariably I get air in my vagina and queef. Sometimes I even queef without yoga or sex. Those are truly embarrassing moments. Once it happened right in front of my roommate. I'm not sure how the air got in there in the first place, but suffice it to say I was a little surprised. Luckily he just thought it was a fart, and farts are par for the course around our house (this is what happens when you live with guys). My SO is used to it, and we laugh about it when it's particularly inopportune or funny. It's good to have a sense of humor about these things. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

11-21-2008, 07:01 PM	#8 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	You're not alone, Snowy. I queef with no reason too. They're not noisy tho, more like little bubbles. Itwasme, that was a giggle maker. Thanks. Not queefing, but in the same vein: Spouse and I were having a nice long sex session and a cuddle moment with him on top of me when he suddenly and loudly farted-at which point he started pumping like crazy with the (automotive) explanation, "I kicked in the fours". It's been years and that still makes me snicker. __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

11-24-2008, 01:16 AM	#9 (permalink)
mandy Addict Location: Port Elizabeth, South Africa	We've experienced it a coupla times. I too queef bubbles with no sound from time to time. but i havnt a funny story i can remember...i know there have been embarrassing moments where i was mortified and healer tried to make light of the situation by saying things like "ok be quiet now" or "enough already!!!" and that would make me laugh. But ItWasMe...that was my happy moment for this morning LOL funny as hell!!!! __________________ The Imagination equips us to see a reality we have yet to create

11-24-2008, 03:33 AM	#10 (permalink)
little_tippler Leaning against the -Sun- Super Moderator Location: on the other side	Never audibly queefed...sometimes the bubbles you guys are talking about. I'm not much of a queefer. The word "queefing" makes me giggle. __________________ Whether we write or speak or do but look We are ever unapparent. What we are Cannot be transfused into word or book. Our soul from us is infinitely far. However much we give our thoughts the will To be our soul and gesture it abroad, Our hearts are incommunicable still. In what we show ourselves we are ignored. The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged By any skill of thought or trick of seeming. Unto our very selves we are abridged When we would utter to our thought our being. We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams, And each to each other dreams of others' dreams. Fernando Pessoa, 1918

11-28-2008, 01:01 PM	#11 (permalink)
Acetylene Addict Location: under a rock	I queef occasionally after doggy-style, sometimes with force. We usually ignore it, or giggle. I queefed AND got my period at the same time once, and sprayed blood on the wall opposite the bed. My SO was proud of me :P __________________ There's no justice. There's just us.